Ralph: Breaking free - 33. The girls want their picture taken

“The girls are still going on about wanting their picture taken, like yours.”

Ralph stared at Therese, “Sorry. Nolan joked that might happen. You don’t mean…”

She rolled her eyes, “No. Thank God. That hasn’t occurred to them.”

“Yet.”

She blinked, “You know that there are girls in their class who have pierced ears and wear make-up for special occasions.”

“They’re not interested in that, are they?”

“No. Thank God.” She signed, “You know, I can’t believe I’m going to say this but in some ways it’s a relief they’re developing into such tomboys.”

“No worries about make-up.”

“Or them anxious about their weight.”

“At nine!”

She pursed her lips, “It happens. Believe it. Bad habits are learned young.”

“Whereas our two darlings…”

“Threw a major tantrum when I said we needed to get them new party frocks.”

“Oh, sorry.”

She gave a resigned shrug, “I’d like to be pissed off with you about it, but in all honesty, I can’t be. It’s hardly your fault. After all, liking climbing and wearing trousers or dungarees doesn’t necessarily preclude a party frock.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Compromise. I’m having them made specially.”

Ralph frowned, “Bit of an extravagance.”

“I figured it would be worth it in the end.”

“To calm the storm?”

“And a woman that Janine recommended makes dresses that can be adjusted.”

“For when they grow?”

“That’s it. Puts off the next tantrum for a bit. Also, they get to choose the fabric and there’ll be proper pockets.”

“Pockets?”

“Oh, believe me, that’s a big thing. Jane was most insistent, and Alisa agreed.” The two laughed.

“And the photos?”

“All part of the deal.”

“In the new frocks.”

“With great reluctance.” Therese pulled a face, “Truthfully. I’m realistic enough to know that we have to live with it. As I said, it’s better than having to worry about other stuff.”

Ralph nodded, then looked up brightly, “Skorts!”

“Was that a new expletive?”

“No. Skirts with built-in undershorts.”

“Are they a thing?”

“Nolan’s Verne mentioned them, ages ago. Evidently developed for lady golfers and becoming popular elsewhere.”

Therese laughed, “Are the girls taking up golf?”

“No. I wondered if they’d take to dresses more if they, well, had built in undercarriages. That’s all.”

Therese laughed, “You mean, they could do cartwheels in them without being told off for showing their knickers.”

“Something like that.”

She gave him a curious look, “You know, you might be onto something. I’ll ask the dress-maker, see if she as any ideas that might work.”

“Good. And the photos?”

“I’ll be in contact about a photographer. What about the one that did yours?”

“Edward Hirsch? Well, his main line is moody black and white male nudes. And I rather got the impression that he doesn’t do kids.”

“Not even if the price is right?”

“Gordon and his partner Brian had nude photos done.”

“Gordon as in your Gordon?”

“Yeah.”

“Nude photos. Like yours.”

“That’s it.”

“Is this a gay men’s bonding thing? Get hitched, have naked pictures?”

Ralph laughed; it was just Therese being Therese, rather sharp as usual but there was a humorous tolerance in her tone which wasn’t always there, so he didn’t knock it.

“Anyroad, Brian’s son Toby wanted a photograph with his Dad and Gordon, but Hirsch wouldn’t do it.”

“Fair enough. So, are you and Gordon mates now?”

“Getting friendly. I’ve met them a couple of times…”

“What?”

“They’re friends with Russ Kahn, and last time it was him, Gordon, Brian, Toby, me and the twins.”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, they certainly enjoyed themselves. Why wasn’t Nolan there?”

“He was working, it was an early meal after the launch.”

“I’d forgotten Gordon was there, the girls were so full of Russ Kahn afterwards.”

“You know they are terrible flirts.”

Therese gave an embarrassed laugh, “Tell me about it. So, Gordon?”

“We plan to meet up again. At Brian’s parents’ old mill. There’s plenty of space for the kids.” He shrugged, “We’ll see. I’m not Gordon’s friend as such, but we’re sort of mates now.”

Therese gave him a good stare, “You know, it took a bit of getting used to, but I think I like the new you.”

Ralph went bright pink and spluttered but didn’t say anything.

“No. Don’t be daft. It takes a bit of courage to throw off parental toils like that and strike out. And I’m seeing bits of you that you kept hidden before.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“She nodded, “And I like it.”

“What about you? Anyone on the horizon, am I allowed to ask?”

Therese huffed. “I expect the girls mentioned Anton, he was around for a bit. I had hopes but…” She shrugged, “Things tailed off and our planned Christmas trip collapsed under pressure. I’ll be off with the girls after Christmas.”

“Barb and co?”

“Yes.” She peered at him, “You know, I remember you saying something ages back, about the difficulty of finding a bloke who wanted to take on two lively children.”

“Hard work?”

“And how. Barb and Dee say I should just enjoy it.”

“Freedom?”

“Problem is, it doesn't bloody feel like it always. Anyway, less of my problems. But no, there’s no-one on the horizon.”

“Sorry about that.” And he was.

As they got up to go, “And one other thing.”

He turned, “What?”

“The girls definitely like Nolan. A lot. And were asking me when the two of you were getting married.” She gave him a delight grin, knowing the comment would discomfit him.

Ralph goggled, “Hang on a moment.”

Therese raised an eyebrow, “Well, he’s living with you.”

“Pro tem.”

“Tell that to two nine-year-olds. And he’s moving into the ground floor of your house. And now you’re taking the girls to his parents’ farm at Christmas. Think about it.” She laughed and Ralph stared.

“I think, if, when we marry it would be small and quiet.” Then a wicked gleam came into his eye, “Do you think the girls would like to be page boys?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” But Therese laughed too.

---

Nolan’s new website did look good. Ralph got Ivor to show him the new site that afternoon. It was all ready to go live; pictures of Nolan looking, well, cute, along with a credit to Iverson’s for his football kit, Verne looking badass running, and one of their other staff, Conor, coming out the water whilst doing a triathlon, impressive stuff and good-looking too.

Ralph turned to Ivor and smiled, “Quite a bit of naked flesh.”

Ivor grinned, “But all pukka, not gratuitous”, he pointed to Conor. “Impressive feat, his time in the triathlon was good.” Then Ivor laughed, “Verne won’t let us have one of her like that. But we do have these.” He clicked on a link and there were the twins, gleefully playing football whilst mugging to the camera.

Beth looked up from her laptop, “I’ve been thinking.”

Ivor smiled, “Uh-Oh, I don’t like the sound of that.”

“We need to update our client list on our website and include some more up to date images of work we’ve done.”

“Ye-es…”

“Am I going to like this?”

Beth shrugged, “It’s a perfect place to boast the Iverson’s connection, complete with photos of two of our founders.” Her smile was almost gleeful.

Ralph huffed, “Really?”

Ivor smiled, “You know, boss, she might be right.”

Beth nodded, “Ta dah!”

She turned her laptop around to reveal an updated client list page where the images of sample work included large ones of Ralph and Ivor, cunningly placed so they dominated.

“Seriously?”

Ivor laughed nervously, “Well. We did agree to the photos, so…”

Ralph shrugged, “OK. Do it.” He turned to Ivor, “So, our crotches are going to be all over the internet.”

“Milly says I need to stop hiding my light under a bushel.”

Beth laughed, “So, that’s what it’s called.”

Just before they closed up the office, Ralph took Ivor to one side and said how please he was with the ideas for the new office. Ivor said he’d already got onto Milly’s Dad, and that the man hoped to have a rough quote and timetable for them tomorrow.

“So soon?”

Ivor grinned, “Advantage of being family, get it special even though Christmas is coming.”

“Will that be a problem?”

“Nah. He’s pretty sure he can get the blokes in. It won’t take that long, and he reckons that we could start moving between Christmas and New Year.”

“As we talked about.”

“Yeah, but they might have to do a bit around us.”

“What do you think?”

“Me?” Ivor looked surprised, “Go for it!”

That evening, Nolan was going to be late as he had a private client so as it was Thursday, when they often did something together, Ralph decided to cook. He’d got a few of Carine’s recipes and picked one of her weirder fusion ones, partly because it was just a poncey stir-fry. Still, Ralph had everything ready when Nathan appeared and whilst the man was getting comfortable, Ralph started on the cooking.

“Mmm. That smells nice.” Nolan came and stood behind Ralph and wrapped his arms around him.

“One of Beth and Carine’s recipes.”

“So, I’m the guinea pig.”

“Well, Carine assured me it was tasty and foolproof. If we like it, then I can try it on the girls.”

Nolan leaned over and smelled the pan, “Well, it seems to be working, so far.”

“If you carry on like this, we’ll probably end up with burned dinner.”

The two laughed.

The food proved a reasonable success, and Nolan had ideas for tweaking the recipe and Ralph decided that it could go on the list of things he’d cook for the twins. Nolan had joked that perhaps he ought to start a blog, devoted to cooking for his vegetarian daughters but Ralph had simply laughed. The idea of adding another string to his already over-strung bow was just too much.

“Ivor thinks that Milly’s Dad will be able to organise a crew to start work on the new offices soon.”

“Wow, so soon.”

“Seems so, and everyone seems sanguine that it won’t take long.”

Nolan snorted with laughter, “Until they lift something up or remove something and start with the ‘doesn’t look good, guv’ with much sucking of teeth.”

Ralph laughed, “Maybe, but I have fond hopes that we’ll get decent service.”

“Being as the men will be working for Ivor’s father-in-law.”

“Not quite father-in-law, but I gather things are getting more serious. Don’t know about weddings, but certainly babies.”

“Blimey. In that case, do we need to be thinking about Fitness for All’s office move?”

“Let’s see, but it might not be long. I was wondering how things would work.”

“What, with the move?”

“No. Once the move is over.”

“Me down there and you up here?”

“Yes. Trying to get my head around it.”

“You mean, am I living with you or next to you?”

“Sort of. We need our own space, and I need to try and educate the girls.”

Nolan chortled, “Best of luck with that. Look”, he took Ralph’s hands, “it’s simple. If we lived apart, if I was in my old flat, then we’d arrange things. Plan. Shit, we could even set up a shared online diary. Verne and I do that, so I don’t see why you and I couldn’t. Put everything in.”

“You mean my work stuff; twins schedule and that.”

“Yes. Means we’re clear when we can have a date night”, Nolan wiggled his eyebrows. “But also, when I can come and eat with you three.”

Ralph’s eyes widened, “You don’t mind? Eating with the twins.”

“And cuddling with you on the sofa afterwards. Not at all, I enjoy their company, just…”

“Not all the time, I see it. Thanks, I was obsessing a bit about it.”

“When the solution was simple.” Nolan gave him a comic leer, “And I’m dreaming of a time when I can check our diary, come home feeling randy and have you on the sofa without worrying about the patter of tiny feet.”

Ralph giggled, “And two voices saying, ‘Daddy, what are you and Nolan doing?’”

“Don’t you believe it, I bet those madams will soon have a clear idea.”

“And lead us a merry dance.”

“Us?”

Ralph coloured, it had just slipped out, “Well, it’s beginning to seem like there is an us. Slowly.”

“Slowly but securely.”

“Softly, softly, catchee monkey.”

Nolan rolled his eyes, “I assure you I look nothing like a monkey, and you are going to have to pay for that.” He leaned over and started tickling Ralph who collapsed in a heap of giggles.

---

Friday, Nolan had a surprise for the girls. He didn’t arrive back until they had finished their meal, but Ralph had saved him some and to Nolan’s surprise the girls happily stayed at table to chat to him as he ate. They were full of plans for the weekend, but also curious about Christmas. Ralph had decided to tell them about going to Nolan’s parents’ farm, partly because he didn’t want any last-minute problems or tantrums. So now, they were eagerly quizzing Nolan about what the farm was like, what animals there were and so on. He was relatively au fait with this, but slightly worried that he would put his foot in it and the girls would arrive fully expecting to see an animal, described by Nolan, but which his mother had subsequently sent for slaughter. He and Ralph had not discussed that aspect of things yet, more work needed.

Nolan had been telling his parents a bit about the girls, more to warn them what to expect, when his mother had mentioned an old series on TV from when he was a child. It was a foreign one, about two young girls who turned detective. Evidently, he had liked it as a boy, and she had found it online and bought a copy. Nolan put the DVD into the player and hoped that the rather period quality to the picture and the foreign dialogue with subtitles would not detract. He need not have worried. They were entranced, and insisted on an extra episode, watching three rather than two, and insisting that they would watch the rest with Ralph and Nolan tomorrow evening.

Ralph gave Nolan a funny look, but he knew exactly what it meant, ‘That’s our evening sorted out for us!’.