Unraveled - 9. Worlds Apart

Brenton Baker took a knee to end the most difficult road game of the season for the Mon Valley Warriors. 6-0 was a record that had seemed impossible just a few short years before, when the team went winless for two straight seasons. The Cougars proved to be a tougher defense than the other teams the Warriors had faced. They double-teamed Ryan Crawford all night, and managed to hold him to one catch and no touchdowns for the first time that season. But their efforts were in vain, because their strategy opened up the running game. Brenton had rushed for almost two hundred yards on his own, and two touchdowns for a final score of 21-17.

As the band returned to their buses after the game, Danny had plenty to say about the Warriors’ offensive woes.

“I can’t believe the way the refs were letting those guys get away with so much pass interference on Ryan,” he said. “He was getting held all night.”

“You’re just sad you didn’t get another game ball,” Andrew said.

“I think you’re more upset that Baker had such a big game,” Gina offered.

“A win is a win,” Jake said, feeling a bit sad for a different reason. He had hoped that maybe Kyle would come to the game since he had the weekend off. But Kyle wasn’t going to leave State College until the next day.

“Where’s Caleb?” Danny said as the band was on the bus changing out of their uniforms. It took two school buses to get the band to the away games now, and the trumpet section had decided to ride one bus together.

“Back here!” Caleb’s voice came from the back of the bus.

“Attention everybody!” Danny shouted. A hush fell over the band. “Caleb, how old were you yesterday?” Danny asked.

“Thirteen!” Caleb replied.

“And how old are you today?”

“Fourteen!”

“You know what that means everybody!” Danny shouted.

Everyone on the bus began singing the Happy Birthday song to a blushing Caleb.

Jake stood up at the front of the bus. “Great job tonight, everybody! That wasn’t our best show, but it was our best road show.”

“Where was Kyle?” Gina asked.

Jake sighed. “He’s not coming in until tomorrow. Thanks for asking,” Jake replied.

The bus settled down when Mr. Reilly climbed aboard.

“Section leaders! Everybody on board?” The section leaders confirmed everyone had made it onto the buses and they began the ride back to Mon Valley High School.

“So tomorrow’s the big date,” Danny said as the bus hit the expressway to take the kids home.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jake replied.

“You guess?”

“Yeah, I just… I feel like me and Kyle are going in different directions.”

“Well, you’re in a long-distance relationship. It’s not an easy thing to pull off.”

“I know that. But I just thought things would be different with Kyle. We were so close. I don’t think he even wants to come back tomorrow. We’ve barely talked all week.”

Danny put his hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just be there for me on Sunday. Okay?”

“Of course,” Danny replied.

When the buses arrived at the school, everyone helped unload the equipment trailer and then everybody either met their parents or went to their own car to drive home. Jake and Danny were the last ones left with Mr. Reilly.

“You’re taking Jake, right?” Mr. Reilly asked.

“I’ve got him. I’m thinking of starting an Uber account for him,” Danny replied.

“Any word on your car?” Mr. Reilly asked.

Jake just snorted. “Dad says I didn’t take care of the oil so he’s not going to give me another one unless I go to work for him.”

“I take it you’re not thrilled about working for your father?” Mr. Reilly asked.

“Let’s just say I told him I’d think about it,” Jake replied.

Mr. Reilly patted Jake on the back. “Let me know how it goes. Tell Kyle I said hi. Good night, boys.”

After Danny dropped Jake off at his house, Jake grabbed his phone. No calls. No messages. That wasn’t unusual anymore. And Jake tried to remember the last time Kyle had called or texted him unprompted.

“Are you going to be out late tomorrow?” Jake’s mom asked.

“Probably not,” Jake replied. To be honest with himself, Jake wondered what they would even talk about.

***

Kyle McHenry walked across campus, checking his phone as he walked. Roger sent him a silly “Jake from State Farm” meme and Kyle replied with a middle finger emoji. Alex had helped him set up a Facebook account, and he was enjoying seeing what some of his classmates were up to. Kyle was used to watching the team he was rooting for lose, after being there for some of the worst days of his high school’s slump. But Penn State’s loss to Ohio State had really angered him.

Kyle had heard the old high school team was really good this year, and he’d thought about going to the game that evening and staying overnight at his dad’s house. But then the LGBT support group had decided to have a party that night. He was still planning to go see Jake tomorrow, but he wasn’t looking forward to the drive in the morning after partying until midnight.

When Kyle made it back to his dorm, his roommate, Wesley, was already asleep. Kyle tried not to disturb him as he changed clothes. He took his necklace off and kissed the memorial dog tags for his mother and hung the chain on the bed post for the night. He wondered if his mom would be proud of how much he’d grown since leaving the Mon Valley and coming to Penn State. He felt a twinge of regret that he’d allowed his relationship with Jake to fall by the wayside. He thought back to their time at band camp that summer. It seemed like a lifetime ago when they’d last been together. Kyle knew he hadn’t been the best at staying in touch with Jake. He thought about texting him right then, but realized the lateness of the hour would probably mean Jake wouldn’t even notice until morning. When he first came to college, he couldn’t imagine being apart from Jake for so long. Now he wondered how upset Jake would be if he cancelled.

“No way,” Kyle thought to himself. “I still love him. That would crush him.”

He settled into a troubled sleep.

Kyle woke up later than he’d planned on Saturday, which meant he left for the Mon Valley even later. It was a hundred and fifty miles to get home, and Kyle was not looking forward to spending his one weekend off driving there and back again on Sunday. The journey was all four-lane highway, but there was no easy way to get from State College to pretty much anywhere. Jake’s car would never have been able to make the trip.

Kyle stopped for gas and a break at Sheetz in a town called Blairsville at the foot of the Allegheny Mountains. It was a good time to check messages and send Jake a quick text to let him know he was about halfway there. Kyle planned to stop at his dad’s house and take a nap in his own bed before picking up Jake. His bed was about the only thing he missed from his house when he was at college. Before hitting the highway again, he saw that Jake had replied with a heart emoji, and that Wesley had texted to make sure he was okay after so much driving. He sent Wes a thumbs-up emoji. There was still another hour of driving ahead.

Jake took a look in the mirror and made sure he didn’t look too much like a dork as he prepared for his dinner with Kyle. He was surprised by how many Mon Valley Warriors-related shirts he owned. None of them felt appropriate for the occasion. They all made him feel like a high school kid going out with a college guy. He settled on a plain black tee and a Steelers pullover.

Once Jake’s mom went to work, there was nothing for Jake to do but wait. And wait. And wait… The four o’clock time they’d planned for the date came and went. So did five o’clock. At five thirty, Jake texted to ask if Kyle was okay.

“Yeah, I was just exhausted from the drive. I’m on my way now.”

At about six o’clock, Kyle arrived. He was wearing a Penn State hoodie, and Jake noticed a hint of a red stubble was forming on Kyle’s face.

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” Kyle apologized. “I didn’t realize how tired I was. I was out late last night, and then I overslept this morning, and I have to go back tomorrow, and…” he sighed. “It’s just good to see you again.”

Jake hugged him. “I missed you,” he said. They kissed, and Jake felt the scratchy facial hair rub against his skin.

“So, you want to hit the Italian place?” Kyle asked.

“Yeah,” Jake replied. “Good thing we didn’t make a reservation.”

“I think they’ll let us in. Might have to wait a little longer for a table.”

They did have to wait for a table. It was seven o’clock by the time they sat down and ordered. Kyle ordered the lasagna, Jake ordered the eggplant parmesan.

“So…” Jake said. “Tough loss last week, huh?”

“Yeah. We’re never going to win a big game with Franklin as our coach. I hear things are going good at school for you guys. Undefeated, huh?”

“So far. We still have two more games before Central Catholic on senior night. It’s gonna be a great game.”

Kyle’s phone buzzed. He pulled it from his pocket and checked it, then set it on the table next to him.

“I heard Mr. Reilly and Billy are doing well,” he said.

“Yeah, I got to hold the baby last week before the homecoming dance.”

“Did you go to the homecoming dance?” Kyle asked. “I thought you hated that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah, Danny made me. I think him and Ryan are falling in love with each other.”

“Really?” Kyle said. “That’s pretty crazy, huh? Danny sleeps with you and then goes out with your ex?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it that way,” Jake replied.

Kyle’s phone buzzed again. He checked it, smiled, and typed a reply.

“So how’s life at Penn State? You seem to be making friends.”

“Yeah. I mean, the classes are pretty intense and the band takes up a lot more time than high school. If you thought Mr. Reilly was tough, he’s a softie compared to the Penn State guys. And I joined the LGBT support group. It’s great. We do a lot of things around campus and it’s really fun. I’ve met a lot of nice people there. We don’t have many trans folks around here, and that took some getting used to. But it’s a great program. I have a roommate. His name is Wes. He’s straight, but he’s cool. He went to Central Catholic, so we had a lot to talk about. And…”

Kyle’s phone buzzed again. He looked at it and then at Jake.

“Aren’t you going to see who it is?” Jake asked.

Kyle blushed. “I’m sorry. I’m just going on and on and I haven’t even asked about you. I’m sorry about your car. You think your dad can get you another one?”

“Only if I work for him.”

“Oh…” Kyle winced. “That sucks.”

“Story of my life,” Jake sighed.

The waitress brought their food, refreshed their drinks, and left the boys to have their meal.

“How’s the eggplant?” Kyle asked.

“Better than ever. Thanks for introducing me to it.”

“Our first date, huh? God, that feels like it happened a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah,” Jake said.

Kyle’s phone buzzed again. This time he checked it, laughed, and started typing a reply.

“Anything important?” Jake asked.

“Just Roger. Picture a less filtered Danny. He’s always sending me memes. We’re in band and the support group together. I think he left his ADHD meds at home before he went to State College.”

“Can I see?” Jake asked.

“See what?”

“Can I see what’s so funny?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Kyle said.

“No, probably not,” Jake sighed.

“Kyle… I… Are you happy here?” Jake asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You remember when we had our first date and you asked me to leave my phone in the car?”

“Oh,” Kyle said, understanding what he’d been doing. “Shit, I’m sorry. I’ll set it to silent…”

“You don’t have to. I know how exciting Penn State is for you. I just get the feeling that’s where you’d rather be than here.”

“Yeah, you may be on to something. Penn State does feel like home now. It doesn’t mean I’ve left you behind.”

“Kinda you have, though,” Jake said. “Have you noticed the only time we talk or text is when I reach out first? And I know you’re busy. I totally get it. And I’m glad you’re building a life there. I just don’t know if I still fit in your life. You know what I mean?”

“Jake, I still love you. I want to make this work. We knew it would be hard. It’s only been a couple of months. It’s only for a year and then you can come with me.”

“But what if I don’t want to go to Penn State?” Jake asked.

Kyle opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. The phone next to him buzzed again.

“Pick it up. I won’t stop you,” Jake said.

Kyle sighed. “I don’t want to.”

Jake reached across the table and picked up the phone himself. He read the message from Roger.

“How’s dinner going with Jake from State Farm?” Jake read aloud.

“See, that’s what I was saying. Roger has no filter.”

Jake sat there feeling his face get hotter. “Is that how you think of me? Like I’m a joke to you and your friends?”

“It’s Roger, not me. I’ve never…”

Jake scrolled through the messages. “Jake from State Farm. Jake from State Farm. Jake from State Farm… Sounds pretty funny to me. Roger’s just a whole barrel full of laughs.”

“Jake…”

“Don’t you mean Jake from State Farm?” Jake asked.

“Look, everybody there knows about you. I talk about you all the time. I love you, Jake. And Roger… He’s probably tired of hearing about you and so he just started making that joke. I’ve told him to stop.”

“I’m not even mad about it, Kyle. I love you, but I don’t think this is going to work out. I think you’re building a new life for yourself, and I would just be in the way of where you want to go. And I don’t want you to resent me for holding you back. I mean, honestly, were you looking forward to coming back here?”

“I was looking forward to seeing you,” Kyle replied.

“Are you looking forward to four years of this? Because I have no idea what I’m going to do after graduation. And I have no idea if I’m even going to go to college, let alone Penn State. My parents probably can’t even afford to send me someplace far away. I don’t want to sit around waiting for you to call me back or text me without being nudged. And so, I’ll ask again. Are you happy here, Kyle?”

Kyle brushed a tear away from his eye. “No…” he said.

“Then go home. Not to your dad’s house. Penn State is your home now, and we both know it. I’ll support you. I’ll always love you. But I can’t live like this, and neither can you. We both deserve a fresh start in a new place.”

“I don’t get it. How can it be over, just like that? We still love each other,” Kyle asked, no longer able to stop the tears.

“Yeah,” Jake said, a tear rolling down his cheek. “We can still love each other but not be happy together. But eventually, trying to cling to something we can’t keep together will just make us resent each other. I’ve seen what that did to my parents. I don’t want that to happen to us.”

The waitress came by to check on them.

“Do you boys want dessert?” she asked.

Kyle wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Yeah… Do you still have the warm chocolate brownie with ice cream on top?”

“Of course, it’s our house specialty.”

“One of those with two spoons, please,” Kyle said. “And one check for both of us.”

The waitress went to fulfill the order. When she brought their dessert to the table, Kyle smiled at Jake.

“For old times’ sake,” he said.

“I’ve only shared dessert with one person before,” Jake said.

“Yeah? How was it?”

“It was good. It led to something better. Something I’ll always remember for the rest of my life.”

“You don’t mind sharing, do you?”

“Hey, you’re paying,” Jake replied with a smile.

Kyle’s phone buzzed again.

“Can I see your phone for a minute?” Jake asked. Kyle handed it to him. Jake typed something into Kyle’s phone and handed it back to him. Kyle checked the message.

“Hey Roger, this is Jake from State Farm. Go fuck yourself. Sincerely, Jake from State Farm. And PS, Yes, I am wearing khakis.”

Kyle couldn’t help but start laughing. Only then did he notice that Jake was indeed wearing khakis.