A Place In My Heart - 12. Chapter 12 – Storm Clouds on the Horizon

We were half way through the football season and the team was 4-0. This might look impressive, but our final four games were against the four toughest teams in the league. As the coach told us, this was the time when we were about to separate the men from the boys. Coming into Monday’s practice, the team was a little tense, but that was probably to be expected. We hadn’t really been challenged up to this point, so everyone on the team was more than a little uncertain about how good we really were. This nervousness carried over into our home life as well, and Jordan, in particular, was a nervous wreck. That night, after practice, he was not only jittery, but he was also incessantly talking about the upcoming game.

It didn’t end when we went to bed either, since he’d asked his dad if he could stay at my house that night. First of all, I had trouble getting him to shut up, so we could fall asleep, but when he did, he tossed and turned all night. When we awoke the following morning, he was fairly drenched with sweat and looked awful.

“Hey man, you’ve got to calm down,” I advised him, as soon as I saw what he looked like. “If you keep up like this, you’re going to be worthless to us by Friday.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know why I’m so uptight,” he admitted. “Games like this don’t usually affect me.”

“Well, it’s certainly affecting you this time,” I pointed out. “You should try to find something else to concentrate on when you’re not at practice.”

“Maybe I’ll just think about your body and what I’m going to do to you when we get home,” Jordan teased.

“That’s the spirit, but just don’t think about how I’m going to ravage your ass and stretch you out though,” I shot back. “I wouldn’t want you to start worrying about that next.”

“Fat chance,” he quipped. “That would be the last thing I’d have to worry about. That would be like an elephant being intimidated by a mosquito.”

“You’d better watch your little analogies and what you’re saying, or you might never see my mosquito again,” I threatened.

“I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I like your mosquito,” he apologized. At least I thought it was an apology.

“Don’t try to make up to me now. The damage has already been done,” I shot back.

“Awww, Tony. You know I was only jiving you,” he reasoned, while giving me that look of his

“Okay. I’ll let it slide this time, but you’d better watch which of my body parts you make fun of,” I warned.

“Oh, I’ll watch those parts of your body all right,” he joked, playing on my words.

Later that night, since I talked my parents into letting me stay with Jordan this time, I did my part in helping him relax. While Justin was out watching television with Dad K, I took Jordan to his bedroom and we both stripped down. I then let him slip into my sheath and took him for a wild ride. There would be nothing slow and gentle about this coupling, because I wanted to drain and tire him out at the same time, so he would remain like a bowl full of Jell-o until morning. As he drove into me, I forcefully backed into him, and as he withdrew his stiff pole, I would ease forward. It was strong and hard, so we were both sweating profusely by the time he blew his wad all over my innards. We took a minute to calm down first and then we switched positions.

This time I got to pound Jordan’s butt and this ride was just as hard and wild as the one before. I pummeled his backside like a man who’d been in solitary confinement for many years. Jordan energetically mirrored my efforts and we worked ourselves into a hypnotic frenzy of lust and love. When I made my final thrust and deposited my creamy nectar, the sweat was pouring off both of our bodies and the sheets were drenched around us. Once we’d recovered from our intense lovemaking session, I quickly changed the sheets and then we snuggled in bed. We were both exhausted and ready to sleep, so I don’t even remember when Justin joined us, but he was cuddled up against me on the opposite side from Jordan when I awoke the next morning.

Jordan managed to remain calm for the rest of the week and the game Friday evening was definitely a tough one, but we pulled it out in the last quarter and won by four points. Our opponent’s last scoring drive merely resulted in a field goal and then we scored a touchdown shortly after that. Of course, the euphoria of the win made us want to celebrate, so we all went to the dance that night. A couple of the guys on the football team asked if we were a couple, once we showed up at the dance together, so I told them I was bi and spent time with Jordan, but I also dated Amber. That seemed to suffice.

It didn’t take Justin long before he disappeared with Shannon and we didn’t see him again until it was time to go home. He had a huge grin on his face, so I felt he’d had some fun with Shannon, but I didn’t ask. Instead, we just went to their place and jumped in bed.

I woke up Saturday morning and the sheet was drenched again, along my body, but it was the wettest around where Jordan slept and we hadn’t even had sex.

“What the hell did you do, piss the bed?” I blurted out, without thinking.

“No, I was just sweating,” he replied.

“It wasn’t that hot last night and I thought having won the game would relax you,” I countered. “So why would you sweat so much?”

“I don’t know, but that’s what happened,” he offered. “Why don’t you go ahead and get out of here, while I change the sheets. I’ll join you in a minute.”

Jordan joined us again after he finished his housekeeping chores and we ate breakfast together. After that, we horsed around for a while, before we went in to watch the college football games. It was kind of a laid back day for us, but Justin spent a good deal of the afternoon talking on the telephone with Shannon. When my parents called later, they complained that the house phone had been busy for over an hour and neither of us had answered our cell phones. We apologized and told them we’d accidentally left our cell phones in Jordan’s bedroom and Justin was tying up the house line with his girlfriend. Once that was cleared up, they invited us all down to have Sunday dinner with them.

I joked with Jordan after I hung up and told him that I thought my parents must have felt inviting us all down to dinner was one way they’d get to see me. I’d been spending a lot of time with Jordan and his family recently, so I’d been unwittingly ignoring my own. My parents had been very good about it though, but I knew I would have to make amends for my neglect. I talked about this with Jordan, Justin and Dad K when I told them about being invited down for Sunday dinner and explained my plans to spend more time with my parents. Jordan and Justin suggested that we could stay together every other weekend at my house and I agreed that would help out a lot. Dad K said it would also be fine with him, so that’s what we were going to do from now on.

That night, the three of us attended a party at the home of one of the other football players. We didn’t usually take Justin with us to these parties, but Shannon was out of circulation for a while, because her parents had grounded her. We weren’t quite sure why, because she hadn’t shared that information with Justin, but we thought it would be rude for us to leave Justin at home alone, since Dad K was going out with friends. Jordan and I stayed close to Justin the entire time, so he wouldn’t feel out of place and to ensure the others wouldn’t give him any shit. We had a good time, although it wasn’t outstanding, so we didn’t stay very late.

Sunday morning, Jordan’s side of the bed was soaked again when we awoke. I didn’t make any stupid comments this time, but I did ask him what was going on. He said he didn’t know, but it made me begin to wonder what would have caused this, because it definitely wasn’t normal. After we all cleaned up and got dressed, Dad K took us out for breakfast. After we finished eating, we returned home and watched some NFL games on TV, until it was time to go to my house for dinner.

As soon as we arrived, I gave my mom a big hug and a kiss, and both Jordan and Justin did the same, and then she told us we all looked well. After that, we went into the living room and sat down to visit for a while before we ate, but my mother spent most of her time making a big fuss over us. She asked everyone if they wanted a drink or some snacks before dinner, but we only took a glass of soda each, while Dad K accepted a mixed drink from my dad.

My mom had been constantly looking at Jordan during this time and finally told him that it looked as if he had lost some weight. He told her it must be because of football season, but I hadn’t noticed this before. It was probably because we’d been together most of the time, so it wasn’t as obvious to us, as compared to someone who hadn’t seen him for a while. However, after my mother mentioned it, I began to notice that he did seem thinner. I guess between the football and the sex, it must have been wearing the poor guy out, so I’ll have to take it a little easier on him from now on.

We had a wonderful dinner and then sat around and chatted with my parents until well into the evening. My mom wanted to know all about Justin and how he was doing, and when she found out about Shannon, she peppered him with a ton of questions about her. Then, she started in on me about Amber and I told her we were still friends, but we were no longer dating and we hadn’t seen each other for a while. I explained that she had gotten upset that I had been spending so much time taking care of Justin over the summer and then it was all the time I was spending playing sports. Even though my mother seemed a bit disappointed by my answer, she accepted it and didn’t give me any grief about it.

I stayed home with my parents that night, but Justin told me that Jordan went to bed early after they got home. He said Jordan told him he was quite tired and thought he’d get some extra sleep, so he’d be ready for the tough week of football practices he and I knew we were going to suffer through this week. What we hadn’t counted on was that this was just the beginning of a very bad week for him. His night sweats continued and the exhausting practices we attended seemed to zap him of all his strength. We figured he just had some kind of a bug, so he started taking Vitamin C tablets to help combat it. I told him he should get his father to take him to see a doctor, but he said he’d be over this in no time, so he didn’t do it.

Friday’s game was a killer and probably the most physical game we had ever played. There were bone-crushing hits delivered by both sides and our team gave as well as it received. Jordan was sacked hard twice, but he also delivered a couple of heavy-duty tackles while playing defense. I was popped hard a few times too, but I also managed to make a few violent tackles of my own. It was a close game, but we allowed them to score a two-point conversion, which meant we ended up losing by a single point. It was a very depressing loss and we were quite bummed out after the game.

Jordan and I, along with most of the football team, went straight home afterward, since we’d all pretty much lost interest in any post game activities. Justin went out with Shannon after the game though, so I waited up for him long after Jordan crashed for the evening. Once Justin came home, he and I sat up and talked for a while, but then I went in to sleep with Jordan, while Justin went to his room alone. I guess Jordan’s tossing and turning bothered him a lot more than it did me, so he decided not to join us.

The following morning, Jordan woke up complaining about a backache. We figured the heavy hitting from last night’s game had taken its toll on his weakened body, so I rubbed him down with some sports cream and he told me his back was starting to feel better. I stayed by his side the entire weekend, as we watched television and I waited on him hand and foot. My lover wasn’t feeling well and I was determined to nurse him back to health, so I was a real Florence Nightingale. Justin was around most of the time too and helped me entertain his brother, while at the same time letting him rest and recuperate. We all turned in early that evening, as much from boredom as from fatigue, so hopefully next weekend will be better.

During the week, Jordan was still run down and complaining of back pains, so now I was beginning to worry. On Thursday, I told Dad K that he had to make a doctor’s appointment for Jordan, which he did immediately. In fact, he was able to get Jordan an appointment for Saturday morning. I just hoped Jordan would be able to hold out until then.

I kept my eye on Jordan during Friday night’s game and warned the coach about how he was feeling. He finally sent the second string quarterback to run a few series of downs at the end of the second quarter and again at the end of the third quarter. It was another close game, but we won this one by scoring a field goal shortly before the end of the fourth quarter. I think that if Jordan had been feeling better we might have scored the touchdown instead, but the coach opted for the field goal and it paid off. We were all overjoyed and went out to celebrate afterward. Jordan and I didn’t stay out late though, but we had a good time.

Saturday morning, I went with Jordan and Dad K to the doctor’s appointment. I stayed in the waiting room, while the other two went into the examination room and it seemed as if it took forever before they came back out. Dad K immediately advised me to follow them, because he had to take Jordan over to the hospital to have some tests run. When we were all in the car, I asked what was up and Dad K told me that the doctor found some lumps in Jordan’s neck and wanted us to take him over to the hospital to have some blood tests run and some x-rays taken. I asked him what this meant and he said he wasn’t sure, but the doctor asked him for a complete family medical history.

Dad K told me later, while Jordan was going through his tests, that the doctor was particularly concerned about Joan’s family’s cancer history. He wasn’t sure what that meant, because the doctor wouldn’t speculate until he had the test results back, but Dad K confided in me that he was scared. He also told me that we should hear back from the doctor’s office about mid-week, so we’d know something more definitive by then.

After Dad K shared this information with me, I was really worried about Jordan. I promised myself, however, that I wouldn’t let Jordan or Justin see how worried, and even scared, I was. I could already tell this was going to be one of those really long weeks, so I had to do everything I could to make the weekend seem normal. Luckily, my parents were very understanding when I told them I wanted to stay with Jordan, since he wasn’t feeling well.

The next week we both went to football practices, but we were on pins and needles the entire time. I told the coach, in strictest confidence, about what was going on with Jordan, so he wouldn’t get down on him if he made silly mistakes. I was also hoping he’d take it a little easier on him, seeing it was obvious he wasn’t at full strength.

Our final game was going to be Saturday afternoon and it would determine the league championship. I was more worried about Jordan than about winning a lousy football game, but I didn’t want to alarm Jordan by letting him know that. Wednesday, the doctor called Dad K and told him that he needed to run some more tests on Jordan, so he was to take Jordan to the hospital on Friday for a CT scan, a bone marrow aspiration and a biopsy. If the doctor told Dad K his suspicions, Dad K didn’t share that information with us, but we knew it wasn’t good.

I believe we all realized what the word biopsy usually indicated, but we were all too scared to bring it up for discussion. Maybe it was superstition or possibly it was just our inability to cope with the reality the words might indicate, but we all kept our thoughts to ourselves. Justin and I made Jordan sleep between us during this period, so we could both cuddle with him, since I convinced my parents to let me stay there for the rest of the week. I had to explain my reason for this request, and they understood and agreed. This was our show of unity to let Jordan know that whatever he had to go through, he wouldn’t have to face it alone.

On Friday, both Justin and I took off from school and Dad K took off from work so we could be with Jordan. This automatically made Jordan and I ineligible to play in Saturday’s game, since there was an athletic rule that stated an athlete had to attend classes on the day of a game or on the last day of classes before the game. If you were absent, then you couldn’t play. I didn’t care though, because what was happening with Jordan was much more important than some stupid game.

The doctor explained to the rest of us what was going on, after Jordan was taken in for the CT scan. The scan was to help the doctor make a better diagnosis of Jordan’s condition by using special equipment to produce multiple images of internal parts of his body. The bone marrow aspiration and biopsy was a procedure where they would numb his hip and insert a needle into the bone, so they could extract some of the liquid bone marrow and take a small bone chip, which they would then examine under a microscope. When we questioned the doctor about what he was looking for, he tried to put us off until after the tests were completed, but we wouldn’t let him off the hook. He finally admitted that he was testing for Hodgkin’s disease.

We were all looking at one another, to see if any of the others knew what this was, but it appeared as though none of us did. Dad K asked the doctor what this was and he explained it was a type of cancer that affected the lymphatic system. He then went on to explain that the lymphatic system is a network of vessels that were responsible for circulating bodily fluids and they connect to very specialized organs called lymph nodes. These are white, bean-shaped nodules that the body uses to filter out and destroy microorganisms, but the system also consists of the bone marrow, the spleen, the thymus gland, the tonsils, the appendix and a few other organs. He informed us the he was trying to determine if it was Hodgkin’s or not, and if it was, how much of the system was already affected, before he would lay out a course of action for us. He said this was all he could tell us until all the test results were in, but that probably would take a few more days.

This news did nothing to lift our spirits, and if anything, it only helped to drag us deeper into despair. We discussed amongst ourselves what he’d told us and then we each vowed that we would try to remain as upbeat as possible when we were around Jordan. I planned to use the computer later and do searches to locate all of the information I could find on the Internet about Hodgkin’s disease. I wanted as many details as possible so I could help Jordan make the best and most informed decisions possible. If we had to make choices, we wouldn’t take any chances of making poor ones merely because we didn’t have enough information. I was going to be prepared to help lead Jordan through this with both eyes wide open.

We had been at the hospital for a couple of hours before the last of the tests were completed and Jordan was finished, so now we could go home. He was also given some painkillers to take, in case his hip started to bother him once the anesthetic began to wear off, and Jordan started talking about the entire experience once we were in the car. It seemed as if he had been able to wheedle the same information out of the doctor and technicians that we had been given, while he was being treated.

At this point, Jordan wanted us to tell him what his options were, so we each explained, in our own inimitable way, that the doctor had told us it was much too early to determine that information. First of all, we didn’t know for sure if he had this disease, but even if he did, then we needed to learn how advanced it was. If that was what he had and it were still in the early stages, there would be one option, and if it was in the middle stages there would be another option, but if it was more advanced stages, then there would be a different set of options available.

We explained to him that we couldn’t yet concern ourselves with any such possibilities until we had all of the facts, so it wouldn’t do any good to start worrying about it at this point. I hoped he was better at following this advice, than I was at accepting and following my own words of wisdom. Even if he wasn’t worrying, I was doing enough of that for both of us.

Later that evening, Jordan asked me to go for a walk with him, which meant he had something up his sleeve, because we didn’t just go for walks without a reason. He was still suffering a small amount of pain from having the needle stuck into his hip and was limping slightly, but he wouldn’t let me talk him out of this little excursion. Once we were free of the house, he found a place where we could sit by ourselves and talk.

“Tony, I’m scared. I’m really, really scared,” he confessed. “I didn’t want to talk about this in front of Dad and Justin, because I don’t want to upset them, because I’m not sure they’d be able to handle it after what happened to Mom. I know I can talk to you about anything though, so that’s why I dragged you out here.”

I fought hard to hold back the tears that were beginning to well up in the corners of my eyes when I heard him say this, because I wanted to appear as encouraging as I could be.

“I don’t know what to tell you babe, but thank you for believing in me,” I countered. “I’m glad that you still trust me enough to open yourself up to me, but I’m scared too. We’re going to get you through this though and we’re going to do it together. No, we’re going to do it as a family, because Dad and Justin are just as concerned as I am.”

“I know, but I can’t have all of us going crazy over this,” he reasoned. “I need someone that I can open up to about my concerns and fears without putting Dad and Justin through this again, so unfortunately for you, you’re my choice.”

“Unfortunate for me, hell. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I shot back. “Did you forget? Now and forever, brothers until the end.”

“No, I didn’t forget and that’s one of the things that’s keeping me fighting,” he confessed. “It’s kind of ironic though.”

“What’s ironic?” I wanted to know.

“Well, it wasn’t all that long ago that I thought about taking my own life, but now I’m here and scared to death about dying.”

“I don’t want to talk about that, Jordan,” I nearly screamed.

“Why. It’s the truth and a definite possibility,” he countered, without showing much emotion.

“I know it is, but I still haven’t come to terms with my guilty feelings about nearly driving you to that point,” I confessed.

Not only was I scared, but he also had me feeling even guiltier about having nearly driven him to that point.

“I thought we were past that,” Jordan said next, while looking at me strangely.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get past it,” I replied. “I’ve just learned to put it behind me and block it from my mind, but even though I’ve been able to do that for the most part, every now and then all of that guilt comes flooding back, especially when someone mentions something about that time to me. Regardless, I don’t want you to think about that time in your life and I definitely don’t want you to worry that you might die now.

“Medical science has come a long way and people are beating all kinds of cancer every day,” I assured him. “You’re young and strong, and even if this is cancer, which hasn’t been confirmed, there’s still a good chance it was discovered early enough to be treatable. No matter what this is, I know you are going to beat it babe, so I don’t want you to ever think anything less than that. We’re going to grow old together and neither one of us is going to be going anywhere for a long time. One thing is for sure though and that is you have to keep a positive attitude and not dwell on the negative.”

“I’ll try. I really will,” he promised. “I’ll just keep thinking about the last time I was down in the dumps and then remember how you brought me back from there. I’ll focus on the knowledge that if anyone can get me through this, then you can and will. That’s why I brought you out here, because I needed to get this off my chest, but I also wanted to get your take on things. You’re my lifeline and my rock, which means I trust you completely.”

“I hope I can live up to your expectations, babe,” I agreed. “I’ve already decided that I’m going to use the computer to find out all I can about this disease and then I’ll let you know everything I discover. I’ll be here for you every minute until we beat this thing, but we’re going to do it together. I love you, Jordan, and I’m not going to lose you.”

“I love you too, Tony, and I haven’t doubted your love once since the day we got back together,” he confirmed. “I never will, either.”

At that point, I threw my arms around Jordan and we hugged, kissed and cried on each other’s shoulder. When we calmed down a bit, I buried my tongue into his mouth and began to undress him. We were only a few yards off the road, but it was a fairly uninhabited area with very little traffic. Besides, I was too overcome with love, and even lust, to be rational about what we were doing. It took me only a minute or two before I had Jordan basically naked and I set about devouring his body.

After spending many minutes kissing his mouth, face and neck, I worked my way down his slender frame. I gave his entire chest a tongue bath and spent the lifetime of a fruit fly suckling on his breasts. Well, at least I assumed the length of time must be equivalent to that. When I moved on, I finished off the rest of his abdomen, washed over his thighs and then I moved up to his national monument. It stood tall and proud as I licked up and down its surface, while paying specific attention to the base and attached structures. Once I finished working on his scrotum and testicles. I took his pulsing tool down my throat and sucked him off with a vengeance that I’d never displayed before.

The only thing going through my mind was that Jordan needed something to make him feel good, something that could take his mind away from his worries. I vowed that I would do this for him ten or twenty times a day, if that’s what it took to keep his spirits up. Some of his other parts would be up too, but it was his spirit that I was most concerned with. I was still deep in thought when I felt the first powerful shots of his jizm hit the back of my throat, but I continued to suck on his hose and attempted to siphon out the rest of those precious fluids. When his penis wilted, after having relinquished everything it had to give, Jordan slumped back, onto the ground. It took him a couple of minutes to come down from his post-orgasmic high, but I soon heard him speak to me.

“Tony, I need you in me now,” he whispered, while giving me his special, pleading look.

“But Jordan, I don’t have any lube,” I protested, since I didn’t want to hurt him, especially after the pain he’d suffered during the tests.

“Just use your saliva, but do it now,” he urged. “I need to feel you inside me.”

I bent down, grabbed Jordan’s legs and then pushed his knees against his chest. This opened up his pucker for me, so I used my tongue to rim him. I stuck my tongue past the muscular ring and coated it with a generous supply of my saliva, but I also let strings of saliva drip over the outer surface, before I worked it into him. I also spit into my right hand and used it to spread over my throbbing erection, after I’d let my trousers and boxer briefs fall to the ground.

Once I felt we were both sufficiently lubed, I crawled forward on my knees, placed the head of my dick against his rectum and pushed my way in. It wasn’t too bad for him as I entered, and before long I was buried, balls deep, in his warm, velvety chute. I thrust my hips back and forth, first inserting then extracting my penis until the head was nearly ready to pop free, which elicited both pleas and compliments from my lover. I jerked in and out of him for quite a few minutes, until the fires ignited in my loins and my semen burst up the launch tube. After coating Jordan’s bowels with my baby-making seed, we kissed, and then we kissed some more.

“I love you Jordan,” I whispered in his ear, once I pulled my lips away from his face.

“I love you too, Tony. I love you with all of my heart and soul for as long as either of us shall live,” he answered back.