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RIP - Comicality
    Aditus
  • Aditus
  • Author
  • 09/28/2013
  • 510 Words
  • 1,390 Views
  • 10 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Aditus' prompts and circumstances - 1. Or Colleagues

Prompt 213 First line: "You want me to do what?"

Or Colleagues

"You want me to do what?"

But Ben was already tapping away on his phone and then held it out to me. I shook my head vigorously and hid my hands behind my back.

I could already hear him answering the phone. Panicking I mouthed 'no', my heart beating so fast I was sure I'd pass out any minute.

Ben pressed the phone against my ear.

"Ben? What's up man, why are you calling me? Ben? Ben!?"

And without thinking I opened my damned mouth. "This isn't Ben."

"Oh? Who is it and why are you on Ben's phone?" He gasped. "Shit! Did something happen to Ben?"

I shook my head, not that he could see me. I really didn't want to talk to him, but I couldn't let him think something happened to Ben, so I hurried to say, "No, Ben's okay."

"Thank God!" I heard some rustling then he asked, "Okay, so who are you? Why do you have Ben's phone?"

I pressed my lips shut but then Ben stepped on my left foot, hard. "Ompf..."

"Hey, everything okay? Do you need help?"

Ben was lifting his foot again and I knew I had to say something quick otherwise he would do it again. "Uh no, I'm f-fine."

"Oh, okay. What's your name again?"

I saw Ben's face, he looked as if he was going to do something very painful to me any minute, so I stammered, "I didn't tell you my name... yet." One menacing gaze from Ben later, "Uh, I'm Nick."

"Nick, huh? So, why did you call me?"

"I didn't. Ben did."

"Ahh, and where is Ben now?"

Without thinking I said, "Ben's holding the phone to my ear."

I heard him snicker. "Um oookay, and why would he do this?"

"Because he wanted me to call you."

Stunned silence, then, "Do I know you?"

"No."

"Aha. Why does Ben want you to talk to me then?"

"That I cannot say. Ow!" This time Ben had stepped on my other foot, then he pressed me against the wall behind us. I grunted.

"And why can't you tell me?" He sounded as if he thought this was funny. I didn't.

"I just can't." I hissed. "Fuck, Ben!"

"What? What happened now?"

"He emptied a bottle of ketchup on my head." The red sauce was running down my face. I struggled against Ben's hold; to no avail, he was too big.

"Oh my God! Nick! Why would he do that to you? Go away from him, I don't know, hit him in the nuts, do something!"

"Told you, he wants me to talk to you. And I can't, he's too big, that and he would hit back."

"Okay, where are you?"

"Home."

"His or yours?"

"His."

"What's wrong with him? I'm coming over; he can't do this to you."

"He wants me to ask you out." Oh please God, no! I didn't say this aloud, did I?

"What?"

"Shit"

"Wooo-hooo! Yes! Yes! You did it! Yes! Finally! Wooo-hoo!"

Ben is such an idiot.

©Copyright 2013 Aditus; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 5
  • Haha 1
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

carringtonrj

This is cute. And you handle the pace of the piece really well. I hope you do post something longer some time soon. Your anthology piece was really good and your prompts show you that you can do pretty much whatever you want with your writing - you have the skill and control. It would be interesting to see where your imagination would go on a larger scale. You must have written lots, surely! :)

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Aditus
On 09/28/2013 08:50 PM, carringtonrj said:
This is cute. And you handle the pace of the piece really well. I hope you do post something longer some time soon. Your anthology piece was really good and your prompts show you that you can do pretty much whatever you want with your writing - you have the skill and control. It would be interesting to see where your imagination would go on a larger scale. You must have written lots, surely! :)
Thank you so much! Your comments are really encouraging and motivating. :) I have some ideas right now, but they are on the back-burner in favor of some old projects I have to finish first.
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Lisa

Loved Carrington's review. Can't beat that. :)

 

This was definitely perfectly paced. It was really funny with Ben pouring ketchup over Nick and kicking him and whatnot when Nick was on the phone.

 

Ok, on to the next prompt. :)

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Aditus
On 09/29/2013 10:43 AM, Lisa said:
Loved Carrington's review. Can't beat that. :)

 

This was definitely perfectly paced. It was really funny with Ben pouring ketchup over Nick and kicking him and whatnot when Nick was on the phone.

 

Ok, on to the next prompt. :)

I knew you would like the pouring ketchup thing. :)

Thank you Lisa!

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Aditus
On 03/23/2014 04:16 PM, Suvitar said:
That´s one way to get your friends go out together :P
This is what friends are for, don't you think. :P Thanks for your comment Suvitar. :)
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dughlas

I've just begun reading your work and have enjoyed all that I've read. Please keep writing and exploring your talent, you're good.

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Aditus
On 10/03/2014 01:11 AM, dughlas said:
I've just begun reading your work and have enjoyed all that I've read. Please keep writing and exploring your talent, you're good.
Thank you for your kind, encouraging words, dughlas! I'm glad you're enjoying my work, :)
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Timothy M.

This was delightful, but left me with so many questions.

If they don't know each other why does Nick want to ask him out? Or is that just Ben saying he should? But then he might have told his friend the same.

Did he come over to Ben's place? Did they go out on a date? What happened then?

How did Nick revenge himself on Ben? Or maybe they both did?

This is why I 'hate' prompt stories, I want MORE. :lol:

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Aditus
On 10/07/2014 08:23 AM, Timothy M. said:
This was delightful, but left me with so many questions.

If they don't know each other why does Nick want to ask him out? Or is that just Ben saying he should? But then he might have told his friend the same.

Did he come over to Ben's place? Did they go out on a date? What happened then?

How did Nick revenge himself on Ben? Or maybe they both did?

This is why I 'hate' prompt stories, I want MORE. :lol:

LOL. I thought Nick was telling Ben how wonderful and gorgeous and witty and hot and... let's call him Vincent was all the time. Vincent is Ben's friend/colleague and Nick admires him from a far. Every time Ben tells Nick to come with him, get to know him more he balks. Ben had enough of this e voila, you just read the result. About the after...maybe one day I write something about a party where some of my prompt characters meet and maybe solve their issues. Thanks Tim. And I'm waiting...*taps foot on floor impatiently*
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