Colorado Game - 47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER *47*

I missed Ross. Terribly.

It had been two months since the break-up and I felt even worse than after it had just happened. I couldn't stop thinking about him; what he was doing now and with whom. According to Sofia, he'd buried himself in work, which was what I was doing as well, these days.

I arrived at the production offices of the new SciFi TV-show "Star Crossed" in Vancouver about a month ago and they'd been piling the work on me ever since. And I didn't mind; it kept my thoughts away from Ross, except when I was listening to the slowly but surely developing theme. As I was doing now.

"Stop it, you fool," I chastised myself, hissing the words softly.

It was driving me insane to even think about Ross, especially during this section, with the gentle strings; I pushed the volume up a little. It was a love-theme, written for the main character and an alien woman. The mental picture that came with it was almost too much to bare.

Writing this was kind of a sweet pain. Every time I closed my eyes to listen, I saw Ross and me together, instead of the duo on-screen. Heck, even when I blinked, all I could see were a pair of stormy grey eyes, darkened by desire and lust. Well, at least I wasn't seeing him on every street anymore. Not to mention the very embarrassing grabbing of a total strangers' arm, thinking it was Ross. That had been a particularly nasty day.

Nights were the worst, though. Then he haunted me in my dreams, naked and seductive, turning me on more and more, and I would wake up with my arms tight around a pillow and excited beyond belief. Or nightmares, where I was running after him and he stayed out of reach. Then Kyle would come and grab my hand, who then dragged me to his lair, laughing maniacally. I usually woke up sweating, then. How sad was that, huh? I never imagined it getting this bad. In the US, I'd felt bad but out here, without anyone real to talk to...

Yes, I felt sorry for myself. Maybe I got what I had coming, I wasn't contesting any of that; I just wish I would stop feeling this way. Enough was enough!

**********

The fun thing about this show was the budget. Normally, for a pilot, a network reserves about two million, but this being a science fiction show, with special effects and all the works, that budget had been doubled upon review of the first episode, the pilot. The network had been very involved in the production from day 1 and I had to say; it showed.

I usually got the untreated scenes to work with, scenes to write a temp track to, but occasionally I got to see a fully developed reel and those were amazing and it really helped with getting a feel of what they were trying to do.

The first theme I wrote was for the antagonists on the show, a bunch of ruthless aliens of the lizard kind. Developing it came kind of easy; I felt like shit and it poured into the theme like hot metal. Lots of drums, metallic tones, deep wooden sounds, a bit exotic but definitely evil. Still, when I listened to it, I couldn't really believe I'd written it, but the shows' producer loved it from the first few seconds he heard.

The second one I wrote was the love-theme. Ethereal, flighty and a bit on the emotional side; I wrote it the day I thought I'd finally had gotten Ross out of my system. I hadn't, of course, but still; when the first episode had been completed, the entire cast and crew got to see it and half of them were humming it whenever I walked past. It did bring a smile on my face these days. And as the show developed, and got a full season order, I gradually started to feel better. I still wasn't over Ross and I didn't think I'd ever really get over him, but I came to terms with it.

I could listen to the themes now without shooting up in silence; I could make variations of them without feeling like I was tearing it all apart, all over again. I started to come alive again, so to speak, and finally felt like I was going to be okay.

Until half a minute ago.

I'd been called into a meeting with several producers, a network executive and an outside party, and I had no idea why. Something about a spin-off or so I'd heard on the lot. So I went to the production-offices, waiting outside the exec's office until I was called in. When his secretary finally told me I could go in, half an hour had gone by. She held the door open for me, announcing me by name, and I stepped inside. That's as far as I got. I froze instantly when across the room, two stormy grey eyes met mine.