Black Fox: The Vessel - 7. Chapter 7 - Demons of the Past

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I was partially pinned down by Kevin who decided to take nighttime cuddling too literally and climb on top of me. I scrambled out from under him and picked up the phone at the last second.

“Hey, Mum.”

“Hey sweetie, what are you doing? Are you awake?”

“I was sleeping Mum, it’s still…” I paused when checking the time, “oh god, is it 10 am already? Guess I was pretty tired.”

“So tell me more. Are you doing some fun activities?”

Yes, quite a lot!" I said and I told her briefly about how we’ve been spending our days.

“Are you sure you’re behaving? I don’t want Kevin’s parents to come complaining.”

“Yes Mum, I’m good. You can ask them yourself. I’ve been at my best behaviour all week.”

“I bet. I was worried you’d be too much for them.”

“Mum, please. They hardly even notice me. I’ve been super good.”

“That’s good to hear. Please promise me not to walk away by yourself. You know where you are and I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“Mum, come on, I already promised you thousands of times. I’m sticking with the adults and not going out at night,” I said, crossing my fingers behind my back.

“Good. I’ll be calling Kevin’s mum to make sure there’s nothing to worry about. See you in three days, right?”

“Yes, Mum. And you don’t have to call her. I’m fine. I love you, bye!”

“I love you too, Ian, bye!”

I sighed and disconnected. It wouldn't please her to know that her only son was getting himself in trouble.

“Are you getting up?” I asked Kevin who was still snoozing.

“Five more minutes,” he murmured without opening his eyes.

“Suit yourself. I'm going to grab some breakfast, I'm hungry as a wolf.”

“As a what?” he asked and sat up on the bed abruptly.

“I said I'm famished! Stop freaking out about wolves, mate!”

“But Ian…” he moaned.

“What?” I asked, spreading my arms.

“The more I think about that night, the more I'm sure that I saw something.”

“You saw what exactly?”

“I don't know… wolves or wild dogs with red eyes. I still can see them every time I close my eyes.”

“Then why didn't I see them? And why am I alive? I took my sweet time walking back down the path. Why didn't they kill me?”

“That's what I was about to ask you…”

“Fuck, mate, you're tripping balls, you know that? You got scared of my little story and now you're making me scared. Please stop!”

“Just tell me the truth,” he said calmly.

“Jesus!” I put on some fresh briefs and shorts and left the cabin. Why the fuck did I tell them the stupid story in the first place?

I didn't care to hide my frown as I walked to our picnic table. When I arrived, the leftovers from breakfast waited for me along with Mike, Josh, Cayden and, yes, Owen.

“Ian mate, come grab some toast,” Cayden hollered at me. “It's cold, but if you drown it in ketchup, it's still good, right Mike?”

“Bloody right,” Mike said, licking his fingers and still chewing his food. They were all shirtless like me except Owen who seemed to have an unlimited collection of long sleeves with him. I looked at him and our eyes met. I got goosebumps when he gave me a weak smile with the corners of his eyes.

“Hey Ian,” Cayden said before I could sit down. “Are you working out?”

“Just a little,” I shrugged.

“Give me a flex. Come on, don't be shy. Let us see those pecs.”

I wasn't sure if he was making fun of me, but I blushed and flexed my arms and tucked my tummy in. I knew there wasn't even a trace of a six-pack, but I wasn't a skeleton either. Knowing that Owen was looking at me made me a bit too excited.

“Now look at you, you look healthier than when we arrived,” Cayden said. “Owen, what do you think, is he hot?”

I was hoping Owen would come up with some witty response but to my horror, he blushed even more than I did and looked away.

Mike laughed and clapped his hands. “Awwwww, Owen thinks you're hot! We need to get you guys together. Ian, do you have a girlfriend?”

I didn't know what to say but thankfully Josh came to my rescue.

“Leave the boy alone, Mike. Let him eat,” he said.

I think it might've been the first time I heard Josh speak. He had a bloody sexy voice and I thought he must've been using it scarcely on purpose.

I looked at him with gratitude and sat down. I didn't want to come off like a scared, stupid kid so I thought of something clever to say.

“It’s cool. I’m single,” I said. “Speaking of which, how is the single coming along?” I asked, pouring the ketchup generously over the cold toast.

“We're playing it with our eyes closed,” Cayden said. “I can't wait to hit the studio next month. By the end of the year, all girls will be shaking their booties to that song.”

“Or – we can release it next year so it becomes a new summer hit," Mike said.

“What do you think, Ian? Do you like it?”

“Honestly?” I looked up at them. “I love it. I get goosebumps every time you play it. Look, I even got them thinking of it now,” I added, showing them the thin hair on my forearm.

“Great to hear it,” Cayden said. “But what happened to your knuckles? Did you fight someone?”

I shrugged. “I like punching the walls sometimes.”

The boys – except Owen – laughed heartily. Cayden stood up and patted me on my back.

“Mate, you gotta hang out with us sometimes, you're crazy. I mean, good kind of crazy. You can come over to listen to us practice. We smuggled in some stellar stuff, too.”

The boys thought it was a brilliant idea, but I just looked meekly at Owen who was suddenly lost in thoughts. I still respected his personal space and didn’t want to walk into his life with my muddy boots.

Later, we did some windsurfing and then I played ball with Kevin and Sarah. When we finished, we all went out to town to eat pizza. It was good to eat something that wasn't cooked over a fire for once.

When we were back, I was about to go to my room and do some drawing, but Cayden called me out and waved at me. I smiled sheepishly at him and, a bit nervously, followed him to their cabin.

I immediately knew I was entering a distinct biosphere when I stepped through the door. Even with all the windows open, there was a faint musky scent in the air that hinted at smoking, alcohol and teen sweat. A scent that was telling my thirteen-and-a-half brain to get out of there pronto or else I'll become a victim of a wedgie or something even worse.

“Have a seat, mate,” Cayden said. “There are snacks, sodas and beer in the fridge, help yourself.”

Beer. I looked around nervously. Josh and Mike were on the couch, tuning their guitars and Owen was looking for something in said fridge. I approached him and he looked at me.

“Hey,” I said quietly.

“What can I get you?” he asked.

I made sure no one was behind my back and whispered in his ear.

“Hard and wet. Just by looking at me like that.”

“Oh,” he smiled. “What else?”

“Coke,” I said, a little louder. He handed me a bottle and I turned away to sit in the corner on the floor to get a good look at everybody. I kind of feared that despite the boys being nice to me, the wedgie was still an option and hoped to become invisible.

They then started playing and again when Cayden started singing, I was mesmerised. They didn't even play that new single at first, just some of their older stuff and some songs I didn't even recognize. I was mindlessly sipping on the coke until I caught myself squeezing and sucking on an empty bottle. Good thing everyone was busy because I must've looked like an idiot.

I almost forgot to make some videos. I would be the biggest loser in the world to keep no evidence of me being so close to them before they become famous. They had only two songs left to play when I took my phone and started recording. I came up with the riskiest idea of them all and decided to record a short clip of the new single to upload on my Instagram. I've been pretty much neglecting my Instagram ever since I had that Owen x Alex account which was now in an indefinite hiatus since they had split up. Also, posting this video on that account would compromise my identity and I didn't want that. I just decided to post it on my private account and hoped for many jealous reactions. None of my friends from class knew I was hanging out with Sarah and I regretted I couldn't see their faces. About everyone in the city knew Black Fox at that point since they grew beyond being a local hysteria.

Just before hitting the “post” button, I hesitated.

“Okay gentlemen, that was ace,” Cayden said. “Can't wait to make all the girls in the country wet when we release the single and go back to touring.”

I stood up and approached Mike who was handling their social media from what I knew. He didn't even notice me at first from under his curly hair.

“Hey, Mike,” I said shyly.

“What?” he said, not even looking at me. He stood up, put away his bass guitar and grabbed a beer can from the fridge.

“Uhm, I… I recorded this,” I said meekly and played him the clip. “Can I put it on my Instagram? Or is it like, top secret?”

He took the phone from my hands without asking and replayed it.

“It sounds great, mate. Post it and I'll share it in our story. Just don't forget to mention us.”

I couldn't stop a wide smile crawling on my face. Fuck, everyone's going to be so jealous!

Cayden started talking to Mike animatedly about the live set ideas and I didn't really understand what they were talking about. Josh went away to call someone – probably his girlfriend – so I sat innocently next to Owen.

“You guys are so good,” I said quietly.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said. I felt pins of thrill all over my body talking to him and he seemed just bored. This was bad.

“Hey… I wanted to show you some more of my drawings,” I said shyly.

“Okay, let’s see,” he said.

“Uhm, not here. I was hoping maybe by the lake again…”

He looked to the side at me and snorted at my awkwardness.

“Show me your drawings, huh?”

“Uh yes, and maybe we could talk and…”

“I'll come,” he said and I smiled at him with gratitude.

“Hey, what’s that called?” I pointed at the wooden box Owen was using as his only percussion instrument.

“It’s called cajón.”

“It sounds cool. Looks cool, too.”

“Go on, have a go,” Owen encouraged me. He showed me how to properly place it between my legs. It wasn’t hard and I started imitating Owen’s earlier moves by tapping the front of the box.

“Okay, now how do you make it sound good?” I asked when the sounds I produced were underwhelming, to say the least.

He shrugged. “Practice.”

I was about to snap something back when I smelled something funny in the air and I knew exactly what it was even though I've never smoked weed before. I looked at Cayden who took a few puffs from a fat joint he was holding and passed it on to Mike, who then passed it to me.

I took it in my hand and looked at it. After all, why not? Cool kids do it sometimes.

But I wasn't a cool kid and I knew what could happen if I had a panic attack. I just passed it on to Owen who took a few puffs and gave it to Josh who got back just in time for his turn. I felt this was about time for me to bail.

"Hey, I gotta go," I said to everyone.

"See you, Ian," Cayden said and coughed. The air was thick and I was happy to leave.

Fuck, how are they getting away with this? I looked around and found the adults sitting by the water and drinking beer. Oh well.

Back at our cabin, I sat on my bed and reached for my special sketchbook. I found a blank page. Then I looked up Josh's Instagram and found a nice photo of him and his girlfriend. I imagined her babbling all day as Josh was silently thinking about guitar solos and just politely nodding. Then I imagined him sitting on his chair and playing a game on his phone while she was sucking him. I picked up the pencil and started drawing. I never noticed when it got dark outside. It was time to go.

When I reached our spot by the lake, Owen was already there. I handed him over the sketchbook.

“Have a look,” I said. “Just skip over the first few pages if you don't want to see… you know who.”

He gave me a serious look. “Skip them over for me,” he said and handed me the sketchbook back.

I turned maybe twelve pages and gave it to him again.

“Here,” I said.

I curiously watched as Owen turned one page after another, making longer pauses on some of them.

“Cool,” he said and gave it to me when he was finished.

I frowned. I was expecting more reaction from him, especially to the nudes I made of him, Kevin and Josh. I sat next to him and just watched the sailboats, waiting for Owen to say something. Instead of an answer though, I just heard a sniff, and then a sob.

Surprised, I looked at him and saw his eyes turn glassy and his face red. He didn’t care about hiding his tears this time. Very gently, I put my hand on his knee but he didn’t react.

“I’m so, so sorry,” he stuttered through the tears and finally looked me back in the eyes. I was as worried as surprised. I opened my eyes to reply but couldn’t produce any sounds.

“What have I done?” he whispered. “I raped you… I fucking raped you.”

“Owen… stop, I enjoyed it. You didn’t r…”

“It doesn’t matter. It was rape! I abused you so many times I can’t count. And why? Only to forget about how much I hate myself…”

Owen hid his face in his hands and shuddered. Very gently, I sat just next to him and hugged him from the side.

“Owen, listen… I knew what I could expect. I don’t mind.”

His bloodshot eyes were full of misery and he didn’t move a finger to hug me back. “You should’ve told on me,” he said quietly. “You still should do it. I’m fucked up!”

“I told you - you didn’t rape me. I was literally asking for it.”

“It doesn’t matter. What if I did it to someone who didn’t want it? What if you develop trauma and I ruin your life?”

“If I tell on you, that would ruin my life. You can rape me again and it will be the best day of my life.”

Owen looked at me again through his fingers. This time he was lost for words.

I smiled weakly. “See? We’re both fucked up.”

“I’m not having sex with you,” he said slowly. “I should have my dick chopped off.”

I giggled and poked his nose with my finger playfully. His face brightened just a tiny bit. We sat in silence for a while and even though I was disappointed, I felt cosy.

“I forgive you,” I said after a few moments.

I stood up and looked down at Owen. He was looking back at me. Slowly, I took the waistband of my swimming trunks and pulled them down. I turned to face him so that he could look at me in all my soft glory. And look he did. I reached with my hand to him but he just looked away. I shrugged, turned around and walked toward the water.

The water was cool but not cold. I'd say it was perfect for swimming. It was getting dark now and I was the only entity disturbing the otherwise calm water surface. There were a few sailboats in the distance but they were too far to see me. I swam around backstroke for a while, always looking at Owen. And he was looking at me. And no one said anything. After maybe fifteen minutes, I came out, dripping water. It felt refreshing.

I opened my backpack and took the towel out of it. I wiped my face and was about to dry the rest of my body but I stopped.

“Could you please towel me?”

“Can't you do it yourself?”

“You know I can.”

Owen shook his head, but stood up and took the towel from my hands.

Then he started drying me. He started with my hair. Then he went down to my shoulders and my chest. By the time he reached my dick and balls, I was semi-hard. He didn't spend more time than necessary down there, though and he just moved on to my legs which were showing some first signs of short, thin light-coloured hair. I raised my right foot and then the left so that he could thoroughly dry them, too.

“Turn around,” he said and he dried my back and my butt. When I turned back to him, I went right into a hug. He hugged me back but he didn't put all his heart into it as I did. Still, I felt cosy and safe in his embrace despite being naked.

“Don't get too attached,” he said with a breaking voice. “I'm a wreck of a human being. I will only make you suffer.”

“Too late. You make me happy,” I said.

“Stop saying that. I don't think we should see each other anymore.”

I looked up at him with my sad eyes and for a moment, I thought that I saw a light blue shining in his eyes. In two days there would be a full moon. Could it be?

“You don't have to commit to anything,” I said. “But you don't have to face it all alone, either.”

“If you knew what I came through, you would run away from me and never come back.”

“Try me,” I said but before Owen could answer, I heard the faintest sound of movement coming from the trees nearby.

I jumped away from Owen and covered my dick with both hands. I focused my sight and there, from the darkness, emerged a black wolf. He was young, much smaller than the ones I encountered the other day in the forest. His eyes were gleaming red and there was something ferocious and desperate in his look.

Owen followed my stare and shortly noticed the creature, too.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Run, Ian, I'll try to delay it.”

“No,” I replied calmly.

I uncovered myself and grabbed Owen's hand. I focused my gaze on the beast.

“He's mine, go away,” I wordlessly showed the wolf. At first, the wolf looked at me with surprise, but then all emotion vanished from his eyes.

“If you take one step closer, I'll have to kill you,” I showed him. Luckily, Owen wasn't looking at me because I knew that crimson flames were dancing in my eyes.

“It's not attacking. Maybe it's afraid,” Owen whispered. I saw him grab the fabric of his shirt around his chest. I ignored him and kept staring at the black wolf.

“Go away, wolf, he's mine,” I showed him again.

The staredown lasted another minute and I started seeing bottomless sadness take over in the wolf's eyes. His ruby orbs got dimmer and lost their ferocity. I was winning.

Suddenly, Owen let go of my hand and picked up a few stones from the ground.

“Shoo!” he shouted at the wolfling, throwing one stone after another to scare him off. One stone hit the wolf on his head and bounced on the ground. I had to give it to him - Owen had a hella good aim.

The wolf took a step backwards. Then another. And then another. Then he turned and ran into the darkness of the forest.

“Fuck, what was that thing?” I said, trying to act like a scared kid again.

“I… I don't know,” Owen whispered.

“The eyes… did you see them? Do you think it was rabid?”

“Yes,” Owen paused for a moment. “It was probably that. We shouldn't come here anymore.”

“You’re probably right,” I said.

“Hey, Ian… I know how it sounds, but I think we should not mention it to anyone. I mean, the parents will panic and send everyone home.”

“You're right, Owen. Let's not tell them a thing.”

“Now let's go,” he said. He was still holding my hand and pulled it. “It's dangerous here.”

“Would you please let me dress first?”

***

Back in the cabin, I was in a melancholic mood. I almost forgot I was living with Kevin and he startled me when he spoke.

“Where have you been?” he asked.

“Swimming,” I said and showed him my wet towel.

“Alone?”

“I never said I was alone. We can talk later, I’m going to rinse the lake water now,” I said and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

I wasn't alone there for too long before Kevin shyly stepped through the door. In just two minutes, there were two naked boys inside the shower stall, one very hopeful and one a little annoyed.

The hopeful one grabbed my cock and started stroking me, but failed to get me hard.

“I'm not in a mood today,” I told the hopeful boy. He frowned and let me go. We finished showering in silence.