I woke up thinking about Ryan. He seemed to be from another planet and I’ve grown a soft spot for him already. Was he so carefree and direct with all people or just me? Guess I had to check for myself.
It was Friday and the boys came for a quick visit in the morning. They were leaving for the gig in 15 minutes and wanted to check on me first.
I was fine as much as I could be. The last week brought more changes than the entire year combined and it made me feel a little detached from reality.
I was longing for a regular day. However, my regular day involved drumming, biking and gaming; and those required two healthy hands.
It was good to see the boys, though.
They brought the substitute drummer along, too.
“Hi Owen,” he said.
“Hey Alex,” I replied.
“You guys know each other?” Cayden raised his right eyebrow.
“Yeah, sort of.”
“We met after your Birmingham gig last week,” Alex added.
“Alex is amazing,” Josh exclaimed, “ He already knew our entire set and it took him just a single audition to get up to speed.
“Well he can be off tempo at times,” Michael added, “but with this little time he really did well.” In the bassist’s dictionary, this was the highest praise possible.
“He knew the entire set,” I said, somehow bitterly, making Alex blush, “That is amazing.”
“Yeah, he is awesome! We don’t need to cancel any gigs before your hand is healed.”
I had to fight the temptation to act hostile. Shouldn’t Alex fucking talk to me before he decided to audition for the band? Shouldn’t the guys ask me if I think he’s alright? I felt I was getting bitter and took a few deep breaths. I didn’t want to make a scene.
Alex looked even better than the last time. He wore sandy khaki shorts and a dark green t-shirt. Now without the hoodie, I could appreciate how slim he was. His chest still showed evidence of working out as did his lean shoulders and arms. He could pass for a well-built 13-years old.
He didn’t seem like he wanted to be here, though. A cruel part of me was satisfied. But it was nothing like I planned it to be. Go easy on yourself, Owen, it’s been hard times for you. You’re not out of the band, yet.
“Good for you guys,” I said instead. Okay, I was still being bitter; I just hoped they didn’t notice. Alex didn’t say a word and it was evident that he was uneasy. He fucking should be. I wanted to play at these gigs myself. It was not his fault that I couldn’t, though.
When the guys left, I rushed to the bathroom because I felt like I needed to puke. And I did, almost puking all over my cast. Then I laid down on my bed and cried a little. Then I cried a lot. I was useless and a random fanboy was taking my place in the band. A fanboy I had a huge crush on, to make things worse.
Wayne knocked on my door and I told him to fuck off.
I heard my phone buzz a few times and I had to resist the urge to smash it against the wall. I just barely held back and just silenced it. Then I fell asleep. Wayne woke me up when he called me to get downstairs for dinner. I asked him to bring me the food to my room. He did. Then I slept more.
When I woke up, it was already dark. I looked at my phone. Half past ten. Unanswered calls. Cayden x3, Unknown, Unknown x4. A friend invitation on Facebook. Ryan. Accept. I checked Ryan’s photos. He was posing next to a Stranger Things poster on one. Quite a joker, that guy.
I texted him “Hey.”
A reply came, “Hey Owen, how was your day? Been trying to call you.”
“It was good,” I lied, “ but I was sleeping, sorry. How was yours?”
“Cool, been to Draycote sailing all day.”
Nice, so he’s into watersports, too. “Wanna hang out tomorrow?” I typed, crossing my fingers.
“Sure, come to my place, k?”
“Ok, at 2?”
“See you then.”
I paused for a moment and started typing “Thanks for yesterday,” but, deciding it was too gay, deleted it and collapsed on the bed again.
It was hard for me to find myself in my new situation but there was at least this one thing I was looking forward to.
I realised my family hasn’t seen me the entire day. Hiding in my cave was exactly what I needed but I knew I’d have to make it up for them tomorrow. Meanwhile, I couldn’t sleep anymore. I put the Bitches Brew album on my headphones and focused on the music.
On Saturday morning, I felt a lot better and I almost didn’t have to take any painkillers anymore. Almost, because there was still this annoying numb pain that radiated through my arm. I’ve done a little workout that involved sit-ups and lifting weights with my left hand. I tried to do some crunches, too but it was hard. I’ve done some anyway. Then I tried one-handed pushups but it was a stupid idea, I almost hurt myself.
Later, I spent some time downstairs watching TV with my sister. The parents were at work and Wayne has gone only he knew where. I couldn’t focus on anything specific and was looking at the clock until it was time to leave for Ryan's.
I was getting better at dressing myself. The only shame was that most of my wardrobe was off-limits. I was sentenced to wear shorts or sweatpants and elastic t-shirts. Wearing jeans or button shirts would require external assistance and I’d rather save my pride for as long as I could. Provided I had any pride left after the shower with Wayne yesterday. I was almost cool with my brother helping but I didn’t want him to babysit me more than necessary. I washed myself by the sink as thoroughly as I could and after a while was ready to go. I grabbed my bottle of lube from the drawer (just in case) and put it in my large sweatpants pocket. I said goodbye to Sarah and left.
When I opened the door, Ryan was already waiting outside with his dog, an adorable York that ran to me on sight, barking intimidatingly. The weather was fine and the boy’s sunlit face was beaming.
“Oh hey Owen, that’s my dog Kobe. I think he likes you!” he said with a grin. Ryan was wearing a yellow t-shirt and basketball shorts. He looked so lean… and for some reason huggable! And perhaps a little kissable, too. Not to mention fuckable, which he definitely was. I had a mini-basket set now on the back of the house. Maybe I could invite him over for a game… of throws. I guess I would suck with just my left hand but it could still be fun.
But for now, we were strolling down the street towards his house, Kobe running around us, exploring every nuance.
“You never told me you are a rock star,” Ryan said. Guess he checked my Facebook profile, too.
“That’s because I am not. I have this little band but if anything, it’s now “were”, not “are”, you know.”
“Oh, you can’t play with just one hand, I guess?”
“No way. The guys already found a backup drummer to cover for me while I’m recovering. If all goes well, they might even have me back.”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
A good question. I knew for a fact that they would and they will, but because I was envious of Alex, a part of me wanted to make myself look like a victim. How mature. I used to have this perfect scheme to become friends (and maybe more) with Alex and here he was, hanging out with the boys instead. For now, I didn’t mind. Ryan was a lot more than a consolation prize.
“No reason. Maybe I’m a little bitter that I don’t get to play the gigs anymore. You’re saving me from staying in my room the whole day, you know?”
“Who, me? Naaah. I needed someone to hang out with, too. Most people are fed up with me after 3 hours and you’ll be too.”
“I don’t think so. You’ll punch me first for my downer attitude.”
“You’re right on that one!” He said as he punched me in my healthy shoulder.
“Ouch! Oh, you little fucker…” I growled and tried to kick him but he bounced back and laughed at me, running around.
He had a nice house but I got a little self-conscious when we entered it. His three older sisters were sitting on a couch in the living room, watching tv and giving me a judging look. The oldest one was chewing gum and, without taking her eyes off of me, yelled:
“Who is this, Ryan?”
“Sisters, this is Owen. Owen, these are sisters. Let’s go to my room.” We retreated at full speed, avoiding further interrogation. The house was nice but seemed pretty busy even though there were no adults in sight.
His room was nice, too. The wall paint was barely visible from behind basketball posters and photos of Ryan and his family slash friends. The room was small but it had a bed and a TV set. A double window overlooked the street and the park on the other side. I felt goosebumps on my hands and neck when I saw it. I tried not to think much about the park and whatever was living in it but it was still distressing.
“Hey Owen, what are you staring at? Let’s play some tennis.”
Ryan Turned on the tv and the console and gave me one controller.
“I never played Wii,” I said.
“Don’t worry it’s super easy. Just swing it back and forth, you’ll see.”
He was right, I could do it with one hand. He was beating my ass every time but that was to be expected. Thanks to drumming, I wasn’t completely clumsy with my left hand but I had no Wii controller experience. And he wouldn’t go easy on me at all! After 30 minutes of punishment, I asked Ryan if we could do something else.
“Tired of losing already? I was just warming up! Just kidding, want to watch something?”
I sounded less excited than I intended but Ryan didn’t care. We hopped on his bed, resting on the pillows. He chose a sci-fi movie; I don’t remember the name. Or what it was about. Or anything about it at all, because Ryan decided to get as close to me as he could and our hands and bodies touched. At least he approached me from my left side. It was getting interesting and I felt like I was on a date. Not really though, because Ryan was acting straight at all times, he was just being friendly and direct.
Maybe he should’ve been acting a little less friendly because he unwillingly turned me on.
And it was only his fault that I decided to put my hand into the pocket of his shorts. It was empty, mostly. I stroked his thigh through the material a little but quickly crawled deeper and felt his dick. He turned his head to look me in the eyes and smiled mischievously which I read as a sign of consent. His penis was already semi-hard and continued to grow as I massaged it. Ryan went back to watching the movie but laid back a little with a contented look on his face. In less than a minute, his cock was as hard as it could get and it was time for me to move to the second base. I took my hand out of his pocket and grabbed his waistband, wondering how am I going to pull his shorts off with just one hand but he read my intentions and lowered them to his knees himself. Taking care of his white undies with one move, too, revealing his uncut dick. It was even a little longer than mine, although not that thick. It looked really impressive and sexy on his slim and mostly hairless body. A little patch of black pubes down his shaft only made it look bigger. Ryan put his hands behind his head comfortably, keeping his eyes on the screen. Explicit consent, I call it.
“What if someone walks in?” I asked the boy.
He just shrugged, not even looking at me. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, keeping it on his arms behind his back and revealing his smooth body. He wore a simple silver neck-chain that now rested on his toned chest. I felt a little dizzy. This was the sexiest sight I could imagine. Okay, you little daredevil, it’s time for you to get your treat.
“Close your eyes, just for a sec, ok?” Ryan wiggled a little and did as I asked without questioning. He didn’t say a word ever since he started the movie for that matter.
I took the bottle of lube from my pocket and opened it using my teeth. Then I started pouring it all over Ryan’s twitching penis, watching his face. He opened his right eye just for a fraction of a second and closed it again. He was losing his careless pose and I could see he was horny and excited. His chest was visibly rising with his every breath. I purposely overdosed the lube and shortly started rubbing it all over his dark-skinned penis. Ryan let out a loud sigh which had a note of a moan in it. Then I started wanking him slowly.
I wanted it to be a straight handjob just like the one he gave me but I was failing miserably! I made sure to massage his glistering tip with my thumb as I was going. Every now and then, I would pull him down as far as I could and stop… just to go back to my regular tempo once again. He slid down on the bed even more and opened his mouth a little, breathing faster and faster. I regretted that I couldn’t caress his balls with my other hand. But that was it, the grand finale. I started wanking him faster, loosening my grip a little to allow the blood flow. After a minute, Ryan started panting and wiggling his legs. He opened his eyes wide and watched his black penis shoot from all barrels onto his chest and belly. Oh boy, what a mess.
“You are gay,” were his first words after he recovered.
Gay handjob. I told you.
“Yes,” I answered, even though there was no question. “That bothers you?”
“I don’t care, mate. It was amazing. I’ll do you another time though if that’s okay.”
“No problem, I owed you one anyway.” Deep inside, I wept.
“I am not gay, though,” he said after a pause, turning his eyes to me, “you fine with that?”
“Yeah, I figured you weren’t. And I don’t mind. We can keep doing it. If you want, that is. I won’t fall in love with you or shit, I promise.” Well, I really hoped I could keep it.
“We can keep doing it,” Ryan smiled. “I always wanted to have a friend like you anyway. For now, can you clean me up? The napkins are on my desk.”
It took me a good while to remove the evidence. One, I had only my left hand to operate. Two, I was paying more attention to his softening dick than to the task ahead. He could’ve just done it by himself but we both seemed happy with me doing the honours.
“Damn, I’m smelly,” Ryan yawned, exaggerating a little, “let me get changed and we can head out. The movie is boring anyway, eh?”
And he did get changed. But first, he took off everything he had except his neck chain. Oh god. I just promised I won’t fall in love with him, didn’t I? I started sweating and twitching in my pants. He had a perfect, slim 14-year old body and he did like to show it. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get dressed, either. He took his time rummaging through his clothes. Then he took a deodorant and sprayed it all over his upper body, giving me a good view on his now-soft but plump dick and muscular stomach. I lost any doubts that he was giving me a show when he walked to his desk and bent down to check an imaginary ulcer on his face in a small mirror, presenting me with a close up on his ass. If we were in my room, I would be jacking off like a madman by then.
Finally, Ryan showed some mercy and got dressed, clearly proud of his body and content with having a spectator.
We went outside, Kobe trotting alongside Ryan.
“Let’s go to the park, okay? I don’t want little Kobe to get hit by a car.”
I went a little pale on my face thinking about the park. I just couldn’t get over being irrational about it. Black puma. And a black fox. How many more monsters lived in the damn place?
“Sorry Owen, bad joke,” he said, misinterpreting my reaction.
“Um… don’t worry, it’s not that. Let’s go.”
We walked a little and talked about this and that. I did my best not to throw nervous glances around me. In daylight (and with Ryan and Kobe by my side), it wasn’t that hard and I soon almost forgot about it.
We played fetch with the doggie when I got a call from an unknown number.
“Owen? Hi, it’s Alex. It’s my number.”
That was unexpected. My heart started pumping faster to a predictable outcome but I focused on sounding casual. Which was impossible. You’re either relaxed or you’re not.
“Oh, hey Alex, how is it going?”
“Um, Owen, I wanted to say I’m sorry. Can I come over to your place to talk? Are you home?”
“No, I’m hanging out with a friend,” I said, putting a little too much emphasis on “friend”, “I’ll be home in an hour. You can come after that if you want.”
“Okay, I will. I live nearby.”
“Okay, see you,” I said and hung up.
“Who was that?” Ryan asked.
“Alex, the substitute drummer I was telling you about.”
“You have a crush on him, don’t you?”
I froze. Ryan just laughed.
“Mate, you’re so obvious! Do you think he likes you too?”
“I don’t know, we barely just met. He said he wants to come over to say he’s sorry. For taking my place in the band, I suppose.”
“I bet he wants to beg for your forgiveness on his knees,” Ryan made a blowjob gesture with his tongue and laughed.
“Oh fuck you, moron.”
“Come on, man! I can let you lick mine if you want.”
“You’re sick, I gotta go,” I turned back and started walking away. To make sure he wouldn’t think I was mad, I added: “I’ll text you later, Ryan.”
I certainly would like to lick it, though.
Thanks for reading, Chapter 5 is coming soon. Please let me know what you think so far in the comments!