The Calculus Connection - 2. Chapter 2

Saturday Morning

“Hey, Sis,” I answer when my cellphone chimes, knowing by the tone of the chime that it’s my sister.

“Good morning, loverboy,” she says. “So how did last night go?” I had called Karen on Thursday evening after talking to Tyler and told her about our plan to get together at my place to help him with Calculus and how he had twice referred to it as hooking up. She’d said that it could just be a figure of speech, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. She already knows that I’m into guys, and Tyler in particular. But she also said that I should carefully listen for other clues.

“Nothing that would raise suspicion,” I reply. “Since he came directly from his waitering job, he was wearing tan chinos that accentuated all the right places, a pastel blue dress shirt with a medium gray tie and gray Sperry Top-Siders which made him look really sexy to me. He brought us two tacos each from work. And since I expected that he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon, I offered him a beer. Afterwards, we moved to the couch and I helped him with Calculus. After that, I tried to get him to stay for a Netflix movie, but he declined because he had to get up for work this morning.”

“Well, that’s too bad,” she says. “Sounds like an uneventful evening.”

“But he offered to do it tonight instead, since he doesn’t have to work tomorrow. He said that if it gets too late, he could sleep in on Sunday. To that I said that I would expect him to stay here rather than drive home if he gets too tired.”

“What did he say to that?”

“Nothing, which I assume to mean that he’d consider it. Of course that doesn’t mean that we’d be sleeping together.”

“Where would he sleep?”

“I’d offer him my bed and I’d take the couch.”

“Hm… that might be a good ploy on your part. He might object to putting you out, and in the ensuing discussion you both agree to take the bed. It’s big enough to sleep two people.”

“You wily fox,” I grin. “I never thought about it like that.”

“Well, brother dear, if you want to snare a guy, you have to use all your available resources.”

I laugh. “So it’s good that I have you, huh.”

“You’d better believe it, Sean. I’m always looking out for my little brother.”

“Anyway, I told him not to eat because I’m planning to have supper ready by the time he gets here at 7:00,” I say, reverting back to our original conversation.

“And you call me a wily fox. The best way to a guy’s heart… Sounds more and more like a date to me. Did he go for for it?”

“Yeah. And then I took a big risk telling him that what he was wearing made him look dashing.”

“That was a risk, Sean. What did he say to that?”

“He said that since I was so impressed by the look, he might just come dressed like that again tonight. What do you think that means?”

“Well, that certainly puts a different spin on things,” she muses. “I can’t wait to have this conversation tomorrow.”

“Wish me luck, Sis.”

“I do, but the reason I called was to ask if you want to spend the afternoon with me at the mall.”

“I’d love to, Karen, but I need to wash my sheets, just in case, and then go shopping for supper.”

“What are you planning?”

“Pasta bolognese.”

“Go easy on the garlic, Sean.”

“Good idea, Sis. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?”

“Can’t wait,” she replies and then ends the call.

Early Saturday Evening

When the expected knock on my door comes punctually at 7:00 pm, I set down the spoon that I’m using to stir the pasta sauce and head to the door. After talking to Karen, I stuffed my bed sheets in the washer and then did end up going to the mall after all where I bought a pair of tan cargo pants that hung nicely on my lanky body and nicely accentuated the curves of my butt. I complimented it with a squash-colored flannel shirt, then rounded out the ensemble with a pair of suede moccasins. If it was at all possible to capture Tyler’s interest, I had chosen to do it with the rugged look. While not as sophisticated, it was the look that made me most comfortable.

“Again, you look dashing,” I smile, noticing that he’s wearing a brand new pair of crisp, dark blue Levi 505s that also nicely accentuate the contours of his butt, a multi-colored madras shirt and a pair of black and white Nike trainers.

“You look nice too,” he says, noticing my new ensemble. “It’s… adventurous-looking.”

“Thanks. I went to the mall with my sister this afternoon and decided to splurge,” I smile, closing the door. “Supper is simmering on the stove. I hope you like pasta bolognese.”

“Well, it sure smells good, so I know I’ll like it.”

I usher him into the kitchen, my eyes focused on the seductive curves of his butt so beautifully enhanced by the seat of his Levis, and begin stirring the sauce again. “It looks good too,” he says as I put down the spoon and then carry the freshly boiled pasta to the sink and drain it into a colander.

“Well, supper is ready,” I say, taking two large pasta bowls out of the cupboard and setting them on the counter. Then I take two freshly prepared salads from the refrigerator and carry them to the table set for two, including two Bordeaux glasses of merlot. “I’ll let you help yourself,” I say, handing him the pasta scoop and then removing two thick slices of garlic toast from the oven and putting them on plates.

“Wow, I feel like a prince,” he smiles as he scoops a generous helping of pasta into his bowl, then heaps it with bolognese sauce and tops it off with a generous spoonful of freshly-grated parmesian cheese. I do the same and then we carry our pasta bolognese and garlic toast to the table and seat ourselves.

“I’m overwhelmed,” he says, stabbing his fork into the salad, then directing it into his mouth and politely chewing.

“I try to excel in whatever I do, including satisfying my friends,” I reply as I, too, begin to eat.

After the salads are finished, we dig into our pasta bolognese. “Oh, my God! This pasta sauce is to die for!” he enthuses after chewing a biteful and then following it with a sip of merlot. While the merlot is almost a must with pasta, I also intend it to relax us, particularly Tyler, and enhance the mood tonight. Hopefully, a couple of glasses might just persuade him to spend the night. If something happens, then great. If it doesn’t, then at least I’ll enjoy a nice evening with Tyler.

“I’m glad you like it,” I smile, watching his jaw move as he eats. Seeing Tyler up close, sitting at my table and enjoying a meal that I specially prepared for him makes me feel good all over. He’s a very handsome young man, indeed. Cute, actually. My first impulse is to hug him, but I settle for a discreet pat on the arm.

Roughly one half hour later, Tyler politely dabs his mouth with his napkin and says, “That was so good, and after a glass and a half of wine, which I ordinarily don’t drink, to wash it down, I feel no pain.” He silently gazes at me for a moment, which is spine-tinglingly eerie, causing my heart to skip a beat. Then he says, “Let me at least help you clean up. Okay?”

I slowly exhale the breath that I’m holding, unable to erase that look in his eyes from my mind, wondering, was it the wine? Or… No, I can’t allow myself to wander down that path. Instead, I dab my own mouth and smile, sure that it’s the effect of the wine. “Well, you’ll get no argument from me because cleaning up is nowhere near as much fun as preparing the meal.”

We get up and carry our dishes and utensils to the kitchen. I leave his half glass of merlot on the table, though, in case he wants to finish it later. If he does, I’ll join him with another half glass as well. While I transfer the leftovers to bowls for storage, Tyler washes. Afterwards, he dries and I put them away.

“We make a great team,” he smiles as he lays the towel on the counter after the kitchen is in order. Then he follows it with that gaze again, my heart reacting exactly as it had the first time. Could it just be my imagination? My reaction to the wine? After all, I rarely drink it, except on special occasions like this evening.

“We do,” I smile taking a needed breath of air to calm me. “Thank you for helping, Tyler.”

“It’s the least I can do,” he replies, holding his smile. It’s an awkward moment for me because I want so much to take him in my arms and press my lips to his in a kiss.

“So, are you still up for a movie?” I ask. “Like I said last night, I have streaming Netflix on the TV, so we can pretty much watch whatever you want.”

He shrugs. “Sure.” So I lead him into the living room and we seat ourselves on the couch, Tyler sitting closer to me than expected. Then I turn on the TV and the BluRay player.

“I should go get the rest of my wine,” he says as the Netflix logo splashes onto the screen.

“Would you pour me a half glass too?” I ask as he gets up.

“Sure,” he smiles. And again, my eyes follow the seductive curves of his butt all the way to the dining room table. When he returns, he sets both half-full Bordeaux glasses on the table and then settles back onto the couch and gives me that gaze again. While there seems to be something unsaid in the way he looks at me, I don’t want to read something into it that isn’t there.

“So what would you like to watch?” I ask, bringing up the selection screen and then quickly moving to the list of movies that I prepared this afternoon especially for this occasion.

“What’s Handsome Devil?” he asks, focusing immediately on the gay-themed movie that I had included among them, hoping that the title alone would immediately pique his interest if he’s like me. Passed that test! I silently hail as I select the movie, bringing up its description, and read, “In Handsome Devil, which takes place in a privileged boys’ boarding school in Ireland, and shot around Dublin and Cork in 2016, two very different boys are forced to share a room together at their rugby-mad boarding school. Ned is an effete, sensitive musician and Conor the star outhalf on the rugby team. Over the course of the school year, the boundaries between them are eroded as they become closer.

“It is about examining binary definitions taught at school: team/individual, weak/strong, gay/straight, teacher/pupil. But sometimes it’s much braver and better to speak in your own voice,” I finish.

“So, what do you think? You’re my guest, Tyler, so it’s your choice,” I offer, hoping that he’ll want to watch it. While it doesn’t necessarily tell me that he’s like me, it would strengthen my expectation that he just might be.

He purses his lips, appearing to be struggling with his decision as he considers it. Then he turns his eyes to me and shrugs. “Sure. Why not.”

“Then Handsome Devil it is,” I reply, thinking it funny that we’re so obviously skirting the elephant in the room. I want to watch a gay-themed movie—with him—but I’m afraid to come out and say it, fearing that I’ll alienate him, and maybe he feels the same way.

“So, I have an offer for you, Tyler,” I say, sensing him stiffen as I suddenly change the dynamic. I sip my merlot, then hold it up. “While this does a good job of mellowing a person, I have something else that will do an even better job while we’re watching the movie, something more… relaxing?”

“Yeah?” he says, smiling as he looks into my eyes.

“I have some really good marijuana that we could try before we start the movie. I guarantee that it’ll definitely relax us and leave us floating high as a kite on a breezy day in March.”

“I’m up for it,” he smiles. I just wish you were ‘up’ for something else, Tyler.

“Good,” I smile. “I’ll go get it.” If anything can relax his defenses if he has any proclivity at all for exploring gay sex tonight, the combination of the movie and the marijuana should do it.

I go back to my bedroom and quickly turn down my bed, hoping that Tyler will want to share it with me tonight, then retrieve the marijuana from my dresser drawer and the bong from my closet shelf. A bong is the best way that I know to smoke marijuana because it smooths the harshness. Then I return to the living room and sit down on the couch beside him, even closer this time since we’ll be sharing the bong, not to mention that I’m hopeful that it will help inspire a mood of intimacy while we’re getting high. I want Tyler to feel no inhibitions with me tonight. While it may not produce the desired results, but it will likely leave us much closer than before.

I open the bag and pack a generous amount of marijuana into the bowl of the pipe, then hold it out to him and smile. “Guests first.”

He takes the proffered bong and I light it. Then I expectantly watch as he inhales a lungful of the smoke, holds it in for several seconds and then slowly releases it, the pungent aroma smelling delightful to my senses. Obviously, Tyler’s no novice to smoking pot. I take the bong when he passes it to me and repeat the ritual, taking the smoke deep into my lungs, holding it there for several seconds, then releasing it. “Are you feeling anything?” I ask as I pass it back to him.

“A little,” he smiles. After exhaling his second lungful he informs me that he is definitely feeling it now. I figure that the bowl is large enough to give us four or five lungfuls each, which is plenty to get us to where I want us to be. After that, it’s just a matter of sitting back, relaxing and enjoying the movie and hoping for the best.

After we exhaust the bowl, I set the bong down on the coffee table in front of us and start the movie as we sit back on the couch, our socked feet perched together on the table and our shoulders touching.

The movie is actually a surprise to me. There isn’t the slightest allusion to sex, not even any kissing. It just explores the feelings and issues of being gay in an environment where it definitely isn’t cool to be gay and the hurdles faced when forced to come out. It’s more about the pressures on a friendship that shouldn’t be.

+     +     +

“So, did you like it?” I ask as the end credits roll up the screen. By now our shoulders, hips and legs are touching, which is a luxurious feeling for me, leaving me feeling aroused, yet not fully hard. That would be embarrassing, given that I know nothing about Tyler’s sexuality except the odds are that he’s most likely straight.

“Yeah, it was good,” he replies, gazing at me with bloodshot eyes. “I knew from the beginning that it was a gay-themed movie, but it was tastefully done. I have to admit that I expected some kissing, though.”

I look expectantly into his eyes. “So, were you disappointed that there wasn’t any?”

He just shrugs, giving the appearance of being noncommittal. But I don’t buy it. I just have this feeling that Tyler’s like me, so I decide to risk it. “Well, I was kind of hoping for it.”

I see a curiosity in his bloodshot eyes when he says, “Really?” He just silently gazes at me for a long, expectant moment. “So, if you were given the opportunity, would you want to kiss me?” he whispers.

Bingo!

“Yeah,” I smile, feeling my heartbeat suddenly kick into overdrive. “I most certainly would, and I do, Tyler.” Then I decide to risk it all with my next admission. “In fact, I’ve felt something for you from the first time that we met. Way back when…”

“Really?” I see what I perceive to be a look of excitement and anticipation in his bloodshot eyes.

“Yeah,” I whisper, feeling my heartbeat now kick into hyperdrive.

There is a moment of hesitation, and my breathing ceases in anticipation. Then… It isn’t just Tyler and it isn’t just me; it’s a force, a power that draws us as our lips slowly come together in a kiss. Everything fades into the background and it’s just Tyler and me. We’re actually kissing! The eerie way that he’d been looking at me earlier in the evening wasn’t the wine, or at least not just the wine. What I’d so desperately wanted to be true is true: Tyler Stuart is like me! At least, I’m pretty sure he is.

“Wow…” he whispers, breaking the kiss a moment later.

“Did you like it?” I whisper, feeling myself having grown hard in anticipation as I gaze into hooded and bloodshot eyes this time.

“Very much… Too much…” he whispers, “which is why I should go. I like you, Sean… I really like you and I don’t want you to think that I’m easy.”

“I wanted it too. Remember? So I’m certainly not going to think that you’re easy, Tyler. Besides, when two people do something that they like and they enjoy, they usually want to do it again, maybe even explore further.”

“Which is why I should go, Sean. I have desires that… well…”

“Who cares, if we both want it to happen, Tyler?

“Besides, driving home in your condition is hardly an option because you’re stoned, Tyler. One look at your eyes is all a cop would need to arrest you. And you’re probably still feeling the effects of the wine too. You don’t need trouble with the police, Tyler. Or worse.”

“Then what do I do?”

“You stay here. I washed my sheets this morning, so you can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep here on the couch if it makes you feel more comfortable. That way nothing can happen that you’ll regret come morning.”

“I can’t let you do that, Sean. I’ll take the couch.”

“Not an option,” I smile. “It’s my home, so I decide, and I decide in favor of my guest and my friend, Tyler.”

“Okay,” he relents. “But can we at least share the bed? I’d feel really bad putting you out tonight.”

I smile, feeling a surge of anticipation and excitement race through my body as I gaze expectantly in to his eyes. “If you’re sure that you won’t have a problem with it, then we can do that, Tyler.”

“I’ll be okay, Sean.”

“So since you’re staying, would you like to watch another movie?” I ask, seeing that at a little after 10:30 pm, it’s still early. “Or we could…” I purposely end it there, wanting to pique his curiosity.

“Or we could what?” I hear an excitement and an anticipation in his voice.

“Or we could kiss again…” I smile.

He turns his body to face me, gazes into my eyes and smiles as he moves in to press his lips to mine. We embrace and hold the kiss much longer than our first one. Then I move lower.

“Oh God…” he purrs, embracing me more tightly as I nibble and kiss the hot skin of his neck and throat. “I’m so hard.”

“That’s a good thing, huh, Tyler?” I murmur against his neck.

“Ummm…”

I pull away to look him in the eyes. “I mean, you are okay with this. Right, Tyler? It’s just, I really like you a lot, and I don’t want you to have any regrets come morning.”

“I won’t, Sean. I really like you a lot too.”