Always Tomorrow - 5. Chapter 5: Recomposition

“Morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Arun frowned and stretched, whimpering as his joints clicked pleasantly. Judging by Brad’s look of disgust, he didn’t like that. It was the first morning since they’d moved in that the redheaded runner had woken before him. He was tying his shoelaces, dressed in running shorts and a loose tee. He was tall and a little lanky, but obviously athletic. Arun liked his freckles. They covered his face and arms, dense enough that from a distance they almost looked like a tan.

“I don’t know if I’m a beauty, but it looks like I did sleep,” Arun croaked. “What’s the time?”

“Little after eight.”

That was odd, though not quite concerning. It wasn’t like Arun was going to be late, but when had he ever slept this long?

“Then I picked a big bouquet of oopsy-daisies.”

“What?” Brad chuckled, swiping up his wallet from his untidy desk. “You say the funniest shit. Everything okay, though?”

“That remains to be decided. I need a shower and a hot drink.”

“Do you feel like another kind of drink tonight? Something from the pub, maybe?”

Arun considered that, shifting so he was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed. He wasn’t a big drinker, but he didn’t mind the odd cocktail. “That sounds nice. Maybe another time.”

“Suit yourself. You’ve got my number if you change your mind.”

As he opened the door to head out, Arun stopped him. “Hey Brad…”

“Sup Win?”

“Do you invite me to hang out because you want to, or because you’re a nice guy?”

“Oh. I didn’t expect to get this deep before brekky.”

“Sorry.”

“What can I say? You look like you’re having a hard time moving to Res and I figure you could use a mate. But you’re a nice guy too and you make me laugh. Maybe it’s both. You decide?”

“That is an unsatisfying answer.”

“Why?”

“I was hoping for one or the other.”

“Sorry, mate. People are complicated. But you’ll get used to it.” Brad winked and clicked his teeth as he left the room, shutting the door in the eardrum-rupturing way only Brad could. If Arun hadn’t woken up on his own, that would have done it.

Both. How could both be true? Did Brad like him or did he not? Maybe Brad had started inviting him because he felt sorry for him. That part was easy enough. But if Brad still kept asking after Arun had said no several times, laughed at his jokes and called him Win, then maybe the reason had changed.

Kale could have sat beside him the second night because Arun was quiet. That didn’t explain the third night. Or the chair-swapping, or arriving early. Then he just didn’t show at all. Brad wasn’t especially complicated himself, thankfully, but he was right. People were complicated.

He decided he didn’t want to think about Kale again. He figured that if he looked at the interaction as an equation and solved for X, he could… understand. Then it would be easier to accept. But it wasn’t working, and dwelling on it wasn’t doing him any good.

He wouldn’t wake up this late again, that was for sure. The bathroom was like a whole other place. Full of loud Brads of varying tolerableness - none of whom were his Brad, unfortunately - and absolutely reeking of sportsy boy sweat, hair product and the same three brands of basic deodorants. But Arun settled for a quick in-and-out, then hastily returned to the room. He bottled up his chamomile tea in a thermos, took a banana from the bowl, and dressed in the loose, baggy clothes he liked. None of that buttons and laces shit.

Class was nice. While plenty of the other people on Res had no end of complaints about attending classes they were adding to their HECS debt for, Arun loved his course so far.

Professor Foster liked most of his navigation set. The lift needed simplifying and the first-aid symbol needed the opposite - it wasn’t detailed enough. She appreciated his work and set further challenges for him. Lucy sat beside him again and complained that one of her icons looked like a toilet when it was supposed to represent a drinking fountain. Arun agreed that it looked exactly like a toilet, which she seemed to appreciate considerably more than reassurance.

During his lunch period, Arun paused as he saw his half-finished portrait of Kale in his commission files. He thought about deleting it, but… he didn’t want to. He minimised it, then moved the file into another folder. He did some work on Captain America. He was due to finish this one today if he locked in.

Once his day finished and most of the students living on Res began to celebrate the weekend, Arun was eager to have some much needed quiet time. Brad went out with his friends, and it was just Arun, his room and his endless reruns of Bob’s Burgers. He’d seen the early episodes enough times that he could probably draw half of their storyboards from memory.

He liked the intentional ugliness of the characters in that cartoon. Maybe that was what Professor Foster meant.

“It’ll make the viewer look twice,” she’d said.

“They’ll look twice because it’s wrong,” he’d argued.

“Exactly!” She laughed when Arun stared at her.

He’d tell her during their next class. She’d be happy to know that her lessons were getting through to him - even if it wasn’t in the most expected way. He’d just begun setting up his drawing pad on his bed, intending to continue listening to the episodes as he finished his commission, when his phone buzzed three times. He frowned. What did Brad want?

BRAD: oi win
BRAD: or ia it winn or wyn
BRAD: idk i just saved you as win

ARUN: Win, like you didn’t lose.
ARUN: Are you ok?

BRAD: are yu in th e room still?

ARUN: Yes.

The typing bubbles popped up. Then went away. Then popped up again.

ARUN: Can we hurry this up? Lol

BRAD: any chance i can bring jess over for a bit?

Arun stared at the message, then around his wonderfully empty room. Typical Brad. Give him any opportunity to be disruptive and he just couldn’t help himself. And who the hell was Jess? He didn’t love the idea of a stranger in his space with his things. But his roommate had asked, which was more than Arun had done before reorganising Brad’s things.

ARUN: How long?

BRAD: couple hrS? Ill tezt you.

Arun sighed heavily and pushed his fingers through his hair, letting his parted fringe flop back over his eyes.

BRAD: promise ill do the same when you bring a boy over?

Arun had already decided to agree, but now there was apparently a favour on the table. He didn’t anticipate bringing boys back to the room. Who would he bring? Kale? Hah. Still, wouldn’t stand in the way of Brad getting a bit of privacy. Maybe next week, Brad could leave the room, expecting Arun to get it on with some guy from some app or some place, and Arun would have two hours of uninterrupted peace and quiet.

ARUN: I’ll be gone in ten minutes and I’ll be back by midnight if you don’t text me. Make good choices, not messes!

BRAD: yur the best xx

Arun reacted to his message with a heart rather than continue the conversation any further. Maybe he was tipsy or a cat walked on his keyboard, but Brad’s texting was an optical migraine.

Arun packed up slowly, reluctant to surrender the room before he absolutely had to. He put his laptop, drawing pad and chargers into his bag, took his thermos and stepped into his flip-flops. He considered bringing the Converse instead, or one of his other pairs of shoes, but decided he’d suffered enough.

The common room seemed like the obvious solution. He wasn’t planning to work properly anyway, and if he put his headphones on he could probably finish Bob’s Burgers there until Brad gave him the all-clear. Two hours wasn’t very long. He knew he’d made a mistake before he’d even found a seat.

Friday night had apparently transformed the common room from somewhere merely annoying into a zoo. Most of the guys Arun recognised from his time in the dorm were here, and they’d picked up quite a few others, including a lot of girls. Most seats were occupied. Somebody had connected their phone to the television and was playing music videos nobody seemed to be watching. A group had taken over the kitchenette table with cards, drinks and a lot of shouting. Two girls were sitting cross-legged on the floor with takeaway containers. A loud shriek made his brain rattle.

Absolutely not.

The library was the obvious choice. He imagined it would be almost empty, since apparently the entire cast and crew of the university had congregated in the Res common room. Besides, it didn’t belong to Kale. Arun had liked it before he liked Kale. Yesterday had been bad, sure, but that didn't mean the library was bad. He just wouldn’t think about Kale.

He decided to go up to the sixth floor anyway. It was quiet up there. He wasn’t prepared to see that jacket, those textbooks and the mop of curls. Nor did he expect Kale to immediately smile at him, like he’d been waiting.

What??

“Hey, Arun!”

“Hi.” Arun blushed.

He hadn’t prepared for this, somehow. He’d spent all day training himself not to expect Kale back. Apparently he’d done too good a job. Why would he do that? In retrospect, he was so stupid sometimes. Then he noticed the neighbouring place. Books. A notebook. A pencil. They were spread across the desk in front of the chair Arun had quietly claimed as his.

Kale followed his stare and grinned. “I’ve booked your favourite seat, if you promise not to tell anyone.”

He stood and, just like Arun had on Wednesday, began collecting the things he’d scattered across the desk to make it look occupied. Kale had saved his seat. Arun frowned. This was not the behaviour of someone who wanted to avoid him. Far from it. So what was the deal? How did this guy continue to defy his expectations?

“You copied me,” Arun accused, though the smile creeping across his face would prove to anyone that his indignation was staged.

“You’re not the first person to do that, you know.” Kale looked pleased with himself.

“I suppose not. So… you want me to sit with you?”

“You’re my study buddy. The library feels naked without you there, drawing away.”

Arun thought about how much he’d struggled to focus yesterday. He had to bring it up, or he’d be wondering forever. “It felt very naked yesterday. You weren’t here.”

“Sorry about that.” Kale used two fingers to brush at his forehead. “I had a migraine, so I stayed in bed all day and all night. I would have let you know, but I didn’t know how to contact you.”

That was it? He was just sick? Arun swallowed the embarrassment. All that spiraling, and for what?

“A message in a bottle would have been nice. No wonder you’re studying medicine, with that lack of imagination!” Arun scolded him, drawing a laugh from his study buddy. “Are you feeling okay now?”

“Like I’m hungover without the reckless binge drinking, but it’s just something I have to deal with now and then. Probably doesn’t help that I keep choosing to stay late with you instead of going home at a normal time.”

Arun smiled, taking his place in the familiar chair. It felt good to be back here, and better with Kale at the neighbouring table. The nine brown spots on the table were still ugly and unorganised, but he didn’t care right now.

“Can I give you my number in case of any other surprises?” Arun asked.

“Yeah, you betcha. We can plan library visits better that way.”

Arun nodded. That sounded good to him. He nested happily in his place. Everything went where it belonged. His thermos by the corner. His shoes beneath the chair. Drawing pad connected to the laptop.

Meanwhile, Kale removed his jacket and draped it on the back of the chair. Underneath, some kind of metal band tank top revealed tattoos on his arms that Arun hadn’t seen before. He was even more rugged than expected. But he didn’t make a comment. They were both getting into their flow states.

He finished the Captain America commission, as he’d expected, but a little later than he intended. He checked his sources that he’d coloured it well enough, and hoped that HibiscusTeeHee would be happy with the finished product and pay for the second half. It was time he found someone to fix his ghastly roots.

With that project completed, he wondered which other one he should work on. He was still ahead of the schedule that his clients agreed on, though that didn’t seem to stop them from being horny and impatient. Rather than open one of them up, he found the portrait of Kale he’d started, then abandoned somewhere he wouldn’t see it unless he wanted to. And he wanted to. He assessed the other man, and decided to incorporate the tattoos into this portrait as well.

He was surprised at how different Kale looked without his leather jacket. Black ink covered most of one arm, thick geometric lines wrapping around his shoulder and disappearing beneath the tank top. He wondered if it expanded on to his chest. Triangles, waves and sharp little teeth fitted into one another, a Mom and a Dad next to each other, broken by patches of bare skin that seemed part of the design rather than an absence of one. A flower sat amongst the harder shapes near his bicep, all pointed petals and black lines. The other arm was less orderly. More bits and pieces. An anatomical heart. A moth. This was going to be a challenge.

But Arun liked challenges.

As he began to add shapes to Kale’s arms, he noticed how frequently his subject looked back up at him, as if he knew what was going on.

“Why are you looking at me?” Arun asked him eventually.

“You’re nice to look at.” Kale didn’t even pretend to be coy about it.

Arun narrowed his eyes. “Stop distracting me while I’m trying to draw you.”

Kale laughed. “So you are drawing me.”

Oh. Arun looked down at his tablet. He’d walked directly into that one.

Kale leaned back slightly, trying to angle himself towards the screen. “Can I see?”

Arun’s first instinct was still no. Then he remembered the empty chair yesterday. The fake reservation tonight. The fact that Kale had apparently spent part of his evening making sure Arun had somewhere to sit.

“When I’m finished.”

Kale smiled. “That sounds more promising than last time.”

Arun glared playfully at him. “Stay still, please.”

“Do I have to pay you for this?”

“It’s not a commission. I’m drawing you because you’re lovely to look at,” Arun corrected him.

For the first time since they’d begun interacting on Monday, Arun finally seemed to have the upper hand. It was nice to see Kale looking away, going pink in the cheeks and smiling like an idiot. Hah. Excellent. That one was going on the scoreboard.

“Hey Arun,” Kale broke the short silence. “Would you ever want to hang out together outside the library? Instead of only studying together. Maybe... like a date?”

Arun froze and met his eyes. “Oh. Um. If I say yes, can we still study in the library?”

Kale nodded, discarding his lovely-smelling highlighter. “Yeah, you’re my study buddy, remember? But, you know, I’d like to see more of you. If you were comfortable with that.”

Arun uncrossed his legs and rested his toes on the carpet. He wasn’t sure how to have this conversation without saying something weird. He nodded. “That sounds nice.”

“Great. I can’t wait to look at you with a different backdrop,” Kale teased him.

Arun briefly hid his face in his hands. When he used his fingers to brush his hair back and let it fall on his cheekbones again, he was smiling, and Kale was grinning.
It took Arun some time to work out what he wanted to say. “Well, for now, I need to keep using this backdrop. So the sooner you let me finish, the sooner we can go somewhere else.”

Kale nodded, and Arun felt a strange flutter in his chest. He was excited to spend more time with his friend. But what if… he did it wrong? What if he got caught up in his own head again, like he did yesterday, and made a fool of himself?

“Hey, so…” Arun spoke softly, ironically being the one to interrupt. “I’m not good at this social… stuff. I know I’m a lot sometimes, and I misread things, and I don’t think sometimes. I just don’t want…” he swallowed. “I don’t want you to find out I’m weird and then we’re not studying anymore.”

“I think you’re interesting.” Kale shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, you know how much I’ve been watching you. I dig that you’re a little eccentric. And really cute, if that helps.” When Arun shyly avoided his gaze again, he added, “but if we don’t click outside the library, that’s fine. We can just keep studying together.”

“Yay,” Arun squeaked. That was all he needed to hear. “Now hold still, please.”

“No rush, right? There’s always tomorrow,” Kale reminded him.

“Always tomorrow,” Arun agreed. “My friends call me Win, by the way.”

Thanks for making it all the way here!
This ends the "Always Tomorrow" short story. 
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