A Life - As It Was - 6. Chapter 6

After that night my visits with Alan were increased to twice a week until I settled back down, sometimes Jack and Maggie were included. The nightmares became less frequent, as always when I woke from them I was being hugged by at least one of my ‘family’. It probably wasn’t coincidence that the ‘bedwetting’ became less and I started to feel more confident.

We were taught new things and school became more interesting. Carl was better than me academically and he helped me. It turned out that I was better at the more physical stuff like sports and I encouraged Carl, I guess that’s what ‘brothers’ do. It did cause us to fall out sometimes, but we always got over it.

Mrs Anderson taught us about Guy Fawkes and the story behind fireworks and Bonfire Night it was fascinating, probably because as little kids we got excited by things that went bang and lit-up the sky.

With a bit of persuasion, or was it begging and pleading, from two excitable boys Jack and Maggie arranged a bonfire party, with friends invited, in the back garden. The Dad’s supervised a display complete with rockets, roman candles and other fireworks. The Mom’s supervised the food, hot baked potatoes with butter and sausages in bread rolls followed by parkin and toffee apples with sparklers in them and hot cocoa to satisfy ever empty stomachs. We enjoyed it so much it became an annual event.

Soon after it was the build up to Christmas. At school Mrs Anderson told us the story of Jesus being born, the involvement of the shepherds and the three wise men. The school was doing a play about it. Most of the kids were excited about it and talking about what they wanted for Christmas. I don’t know what I was feeling, I can’t explain it, but I wasn’t excited.

Carl kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas, but I didn’t know. I mean what could I ask for, I’d been bought new clothes, and when I grew out of them I got new ones. I’d been given toys, and for as long as I was allowed to stay I had a new home and ‘family’. What does stick out in my mind is that I kept thinking Christmas a time for giving, that’s what all the teachers told us and that was always on my mind, I had nothing to give and no money to buy anything.

I did think a lot about what I wanted for Christmas but I kept it secret, I didn’t know if I could say anything. Jack and Maggie told me that I should write a letter to Father Christmas to tell him what I wanted, adding that if I was good then he would bring it for me. Now that sounded great to me, you’ve never seen a five year old so well behaved.

I remember writing my first letter to Father Christmas, and being careful not to let anyone see what I’d written. I wrote it in school and Mrs Anderson put it in a sealed envelope for me, I realise now that she probably had peek at it.

I think it was about a week before Christmas that Maggie and Jack took us to see Father Christmas in one of the big department stores, so I got to deliver my letter personally. It was busy when we got off the bus, Maggie and Jack held on to us tight taking us to see the Christmas lights and other street decorations. All the shops had displays in their windows depicting different aspects of Christmas, it was the first time I’d ever seen them and I was amazed.

In the square by the Town Hall was a huge Christmas tree decorated with coloured lights and a star on the top, it was taller than most of the buildings around. Maggie told us that one was gifted to the city by a town in Norway every year. There was also a nativity display set in a stable, all the characters and animals were represented by wooden statues. A band and choir entertained the crowds with Christmas carols and other songs.

Then they took us to see Father Christmas and we had to queue to get in, there was a fenced in area covered in snow with Christmas trees and polar bears, after that we walked through stables with reindeer. Elves were there to look after everything and tell us about it. Father Christmas was in a cabin sat on a big red and gold chair, the Elves made sure that only one family at a time went in and one at a time children sat on Father Christmas’ knee to talk with him and have a phot taken, each being given a gift before leaving.

Carl went first reeling off a long list of what he wanted, it looked like he had fun, then it was my turn. I was nervous and shy, and had trouble speaking so he suggested I whisper in his ear which I did. I remember he told me that he would do his best to give me what I wanted, but if he could give it to me it may be sometime after Christmas before I got it. I wasn’t happy with that but accepted it and gave him my letter, he read it and put it in his pocket to ‘keep it safe’ he said. After being given a hug and a gift we left. Unknown to me he passed the letter to Jack.

All the way home Carl kept asking what I’d said to Father Christmas but I wouldn’t tell him it was a secret, like I said, if I told him it wouldn’t come true. I wasn’t even sure if I could trust Father Christmas, I still had trust issues among other problems. The build up to Christmas was tense for me and I started to wet the bed again and everyone was getting concerned, but I couldn’t tell my secret.

Christmas Eve we were excited, helping Maggie make mince pies, cakes, trifle, fresh bread and other food ready for Christmas day. Later after we had eaten we left out two mince pies and a glass of whisky for Father Christmas, and a fresh carrot for Rudolph, then hung our stockings before going to bed. I think the small glass of wine that Jack had given us with our meal knocked us out because the next thing I remember Carl was jumping on the bed declaring that Father Christmas had been.

Following Carl downstairs that first Christmas I was nervous and excited, needless to say we were not very quiet and woke Jack and Maggie. Carl made short work of ripping open presents, I froze, the whisky glass was empty, the mince pies and carrot were gone! Carl kept putting presents in a pile next to me telling me they were mine.

Jack and Maggie came in with drinks of milk, giving us hugs and wishing us Happy Christmas and encouraging us both to have fun, then I got stuck in ripping open my presents too. We had almost identical piles including a bike each, Carl’s was blue and mine was black. It was a great Christmas, but one thing was missing. The special thing I’d asked Father Christmas for, he said it might take time, I just hoped he wouldn’t forget.