The Strange Life of Jonas Marks - 7. Chapter 7

The rest of the evening became sort of torturous. Trying to get anything out of Jenny was the worst. I mean, if she had been a guy, I would have tossed her on the ground, put her in head lock, and forced her to tell me what this date was about. Unfortunately, I couldn’t so she just kept smiling.

“Don’t worry so much, Jo. I promise, you’ll enjoy yourself.”

“Jenny, don’t tease Jonas,” Mrs. Meyers sounded all stern, “you know he hasn’t had a date.”

I caught the wink she sent Jenny and knew it was no use trying to push for more details. That was the hard thing about being here, everyone knew my history. The closest I’d been to a date was a group of friends going out together, but that didn’t keep me from wanting one. However, when I went to take my shower I could hear Jenny and her mother talking softly in her bedroom. When I crept up to the door to listen all I could hear was their laughter.

I didn’t sleep too well, my mind kept wandering to the date Jenny had set up. I can handle a lot of things -- well some things, but I hated being out of the loop on important things. Especially something as important as a date, but I had no choice and had to wait till Jenny felt like filling me in.

It was the first morning I just didn’t feel like cooking. Hell, as a wrestler I knew it was important to eat, but my stomach wasn’t doing so well this morning. I was more nervous than I had been at the big wrestling matches at school. I tried to put it out of my head as I got ready for work.

The office was actually put together pretty quick. Daniel had gotten there early and had hung the paintings already. I took time put up the photos that Jenny and I had made for my office. Then I helped Daniel wrestle the furniture into position. All things considered, it took about an hour or so.

“Hey, thanks for helping and not being mad about the office,” Daniel commented as he headed toward the door.

“It really wasn’t a problem and Opie didn’t seem to mind that it wasn’t done.”

“Opie?”

“Oh shit. Shh. I forgot. I keep calling him that.” I spat it all out, embarrassed as hell. “You know, Openseter is hard to keep saying so, at least in my head, I call him Opie. First time I let it slip like that.”

Daniel laughed and waved as he headed out the door.

His departure left me alone in my office. Strange idea that was, I mean, I never expected to have an office. I stood looking at the paintings on the wall, a coffee maker, and a water cooler. With everything in place, the room seemed sort of comfortable; at least I hoped it did. I noted that my “special door” matched the one in Mr. Openseter’s office. Well if mine was the entrance, I guess the one in his office must be the exit.

I sat at the desk and began to idly page through the book on how to use my new phone system when I felt like I was being watched. Looking up, I found Mr. Openseter checking out my office from the doorway. He was leaning against the frame and his eyes seemed to be taking in everything.

“Looks comfortable enough.”

“Thanks. I hope people will enjoy it. I kinda like it.”

“Well you need to be happy with it; you are going to be in here working most of the time.”

“Yeah,” I turned back to look at the office and smiled as I noticed how well it all seemed to be coming together. When I looked back at where my boss had been standing I was caught off guard by how close he had gotten, finding him standing at the edge of my desk. The man moved incredibly fast and was really silent.

“Have you had time to set up your desk and the filing cabinets yet?”

His stare caught me off guard. It is hard to be completely pulled together when you look into his eyes. They are so different from everyone else’s eyes. I shook my head and tried to relax.

“Well,” my voice cracked as tried to explain the office set up to Mr. Openseter. So much for being relaxed. I took a deep breath and kept going. “The filing cabinets are just set up, two over there and one here by my desk.” I pointed across the room to the two near the window. “One is for the dating service and one for the items that people order from us. The one here by my desk will hold the completed order forms. I figured once it fills up we can pack them up for storage. I know from reading the handbook it’s necessary to hold all files for one year from date of completion.”

Mr. Openseter nodded and smiled.

“Glad you have it all in hand, Jonas. Oh, these are the first orders. Have you figured out the damn computer system?”

I suppressed a laugh thinking about how every time he used something more complicated than a phone he got flustered. Daniel had even mentioned a strange fire surrounding his first laptop. Seems there was an odd hole burned through the first one sent to his office. Part of what made people see my boss as something odd.

“Yes, I have Sir. It wasn’t very difficult.”

“Good. Here are the first orders to come through. I swear they must have been waiting impatiently for me to find someone. Anyway, I will leave you to type these up. Bring me the copies when you are done.”

I barely glanced at the papers he handed me and he was gone from the room. I’d never met anyone who was able to move so quickly. I wish I had that sort of speed when I wrestled. Focusing on the papers allowed me to keep from thinking about the date for a while.

The first order was for a bowl that would refill itself with different delicious puddings. Truthfully, it sounded a bit odd to me, but I wasn’t the one ordering it. I simply pulled up the right screen, typed in the order number from the top of the sheet and filled in the specifics of what the customer wanted. I read the back carefully copying exactly what the customer stated they wanted. I sat there thinking that I could name about five different types of pudding, but wondered how many types there really were. Honestly, who wants a bowl that will constantly refill with fresh puddings and keep changing the type of pudding based on requests? In the space asked how often this should be able to continue, the customer had checked non-stop.

The second order was stranger than the first. Usually when you hear of someone ordering shoes they tell you the color and shoe size, right? Not here. Instead the order form in front of me requested a pair of shoes, able to take the wearer anywhere he desired, once a day. There were no further details given and no further boxes checked. I’ll admit my mind was distracted as I thought of all the places around the world you could go to if you wore those shoes, then I began to imagine other places I could travel to, like the inside of a sauna, and found myself blushing as I quickly completed the order and picked up the next one.

By the time I started typing in the third order I felt as if I was working for some sort of demented fantasy shop. It was strange, who ever heard of a hat that made you pretty? I know I never would have thought up such a thing, but a customer was requesting one just the same. As I typed in the order I had to stop from laughing at the absurdity of it all. The hat would allow the owner to appear however they wanted: younger, athletic, more attractive, muscular, and even allow the body to act that way as long as the hat was worn. Even with Mr. Openseter looking the way he did I couldn’t help but think that maybe this was all a big joke. Then I remembered no matter how crazy this might seem I still got my paycheck and just shook my head in dismay.

The last one in the pile kind of surprised me a little. I’d never seen so much written in so small a space. The customer was requesting a sword right out of every fantasy story I had ever read as a child. If the other orders were odd this one was really out there. Who ever heard of a talking sword? Not only did they want the sword to talk it had to be able to cut through nearly anything. I sat reading the request and shaking my head. The list of what this sword needed to be able to do shocked me. The list started with the condition that it had to fit in the owner’s hand comfortably, be lightweight, be able to almost guide the hand that held it in defense or attack. Basically it was going to have a mind of its own. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if the sword didn’t like its owner.

I’d managed to get all the orders typed in. It took me longer than I thought it would, but that was mainly because my typing was rusty. I hadn’t had the typing class since I was a junior but luckily it all came back to me. I finished up the last order and printed out an order sheet for Mr. Openseter.

I had just put the originals into the files when Daniel stopped by. It was nice to see a familiar face. Most of the sales floor ignored me, but at least I had one person willing to talk to me.

“Hey, just figured I would stop to see if everything is the way you need it, Jonas.”

“Yeah. I think so.”

“You got much work to do?”

“Actually, I have to run this paper over to Mr. Openseter.”

I watched as Daniel shivered a little at the mention of Opie’s name.

“He really freaks you out, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. Still don’t know how you work for him.”

Daniel moved into the hallway as I followed him, sheet in hand.

“Honestly he isn’t a bad boss. I mean, I do what he asks and he pretty much leaves me alone.”

Daniel shook his head and gave me a crooked sort of smile.

“I’ll catch you later, Jonas.”

He headed off in the opposite direction of where I needed to go so I hurried along. I had just raised my hand to knock on Mr. Openseter’s door when his voice called out from within.

“Come in Jonas.”

With all the strange things that happened when I was around my boss, I was just took this in stride now. I opened the door to find him sitting at his desk with another man sitting across from him. I tried to stay out of the way in the corner, but my boss wasn’t having any of that.

“Jonas meet Mr. Anders. He runs the antiques section here at Kroger’s. He feels he should be able to do our job.”

Surprised at the exactly what was said I stared at my boss then at Mr. Anders. Did this guy know what we actually were doing?

“Oh.”

Yeah, not the most enlightened thing to say. I felt like an idiot standing there with the order list in hand.

“Would you mind handing Mr. Anders the order list you prepared. I want to know how soon he can fill the …,” Mr. Openseter glanced at me and smiled as if this were just part of his job, “orders you just typed up.”

I shrugged and handed Mr. Anders the order sheet. He was an older man, dressed in a good suit, and in much better shape than my father. However, he sort of reminded me of my old wrestling coach on a bad day. The man looked like everything was wrong somehow.

“Thank you. Now I’m sure I can easily find these artifacts. I acquire all sorts of things everyday so I don’t see why they needed this department. I’m sure I can get …,” he paused as he finally looked at the order sheet before him, “a bowl.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Anders,” I interrupted. “It isn’t just a bowl.”

He turned and glared at me. I felt like I had just entered into the wrong weight group and he had found out.

“Um.” My throat suddenly dried out, but I had to point out there was more to the bowl. I should know, I just typed the order. “If you look at the order, Sir, it states that the bowl has to keep refilling with fresh and different flavors of pudding.”

“You mean it will be used for pudding.”

“No, Sir. I mean the bowl will fill with whatever pudding is requested.”

“Stop playing games with me!” His face had grown red and if it were possible, I’m sure he would have had me fired for just speaking to him. It was clear to me that he man didn’t like my boss or myself.

Mr. Openseter finally stood and drew himself to his full height. Hell that was damn intimating.

“Mr. Anders, you came into my office stating that I wasn’t really needed here. You couldn’t understand why I had been hired or my office created to begin with, all in a very demeaning manner. You claimed you could do anything I could. You hold in your hand an official order for Kroger’s.” As he spoke he moved till he stood over the seated guy. I watched as Mr. Anders sat and the paper in his hand began to tremble. “I have one question for you. Can you fulfill that order as it is written?”

“Uh, I mean, I …” He looked up at my boss and I wasn’t sure if he was going to have a heart attack or wet himself. “No.”

“Then I suggest you stop wasting our time. Head back to your department and let me run mine.”

Mr. Anders got up and nearly ran toward the door. He stopped cold when Mr. Openseter called to him.

“Anders, if you don’t mind we still need the order sheet in your hand.”

The poor man was shaking like a leaf as I walked over and he dropped the sheet into my hand. He practically ran down the hallway and out of sight.