A Walk Along the Promenade - 13. Scene Five, A Hotel Bedroom in the Middle of a Summer’s Night

Shaun slowly turned his head and looked at his travel clock, which he’d perched on the bedside table. Its glowing green digits told him it was three-forty in the morning. Something had woken him from his sleep. His mind tried to search for what was wrong, what had woken him. Then, a moment later, he realised what was different, he was lying next to Harley, who was deeply asleep, he was sharing this bed with Harley.

He’d been woken by Harley turning over in his sleep. Harley now lay on his left side, facing Shaun, Harley’s body folded up into an almost question-mark like shape. His eyes were closed in sleep but his mouth was still slightly open, breathing slowly and softly through his open lips. His breathing was slow and rhythmic, a gentle breath in and a slow breath out, a handful of seconds later. His neatly styled hair was now ruffled by sleep, the sweeping wave across the top of his head was now broken up by haphazard tuffs and spikes of hair. A tiny drop of spittle was caught in the corner of his pale lips, remaining trapped even as he breathed. The duvet had slipped down his body, exposing his shoulders and upper chest, his large pecs and pale nipples plainly on display. His hands were folded together in front of his chest, as if holding something valuable close to his body. Harley seemed so peaceful in his sleep, relaxed and unbothered lying there.

Shaun settled down in his bed, turning to face Harley’s sleeping body, and watched Harley for a long moment. The man’s beauty and peacefulness seemed almost hypnotic. Shaun wished that he could sleep as peacefully as that and as easily. So often his sleep was disturbed by nightmares that relived the attack and the aftermath, or else self-doubt and self-recrimination would prevent him even from falling asleep. Then a painful thought snapped into his mind. He remembered the reason why he’d come to Scarborough.

He’d been feeling so down and hopeless, the pain (Both physical and emotional) was too great for him to bear anymore, and he’d just wanted release from it all. Killing himself had seemed his only way out of it. That had been less than nine, ten hours ago. He had been so coldly serious, had made his plans and yet… And yet he felt so different now. Had it just been sex that had changed his mind? Surely sex alone, no mater how good it was, couldn’t have changed his mood so completely? Surely it was something else? But he had felt so good and so wanted in Harley arms. He had never felt so wanted before. He’d had enough sex with other men before but never before had he felt that a man had searched him out and wanted him so much, and a man who was so attractive and likeable. Harley’s presence had wrapped him up in self-confidence and warmth, he felt so good about himself being with Harley. Even if this feeling only lasted a few days it would still be something to cherish.

If this was all transient and when he returned home everything would reset to exactly the way it had all been before then at least he will have had this holiday, a holiday from the unrelenting downward spiral of his life and mood. Any break would be worth it, he told himself.

He couldn’t tell Harley why he had come here, he couldn’t tell anyone what he had originally intended this holiday to be. He knew people would over react, even blaming him for the stress he might have caused them, and how could he make them understand his coldly reached decision, and how could he make them understand why he’d changed his mind? He knew people shied away from or over reacted to deep and extreme decisions like the one he had reached. So he knew it was best, well best for him, if he kept that decision to himself. He had turned away from it now anyway.

He slowly manoeuvred his body until both their bodies were lying close together, their bodies as close together as he could get them. Harley had made a grunting noise in his sleep and wrapped his arm around Shaun’s shoulders, pulling their bodies closer still, their chests now comfortably touching and their legs slowly intertwining together. Shaun smiled to himself, this was so comfortable.

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