All That Drama - 3. Chapter 3

Finals week came all too slowly for me and I saw Hector every day. Sarah, Matt and Jason all tried to get the two of us alone so we would talk it out, but I just ignored him which was exactly the way it was at graduation time. I did not miss a single look in his eyes that said he wanted to talk, but he still could not trust me and until he did I would not try to talk to him. I would include him in general conversations, but I would make no overtures for friendship. It hurt so much, but I was slowly getting use to not caring. I cared that I did not care, but it was better than hurting. God I wished I was not so damned stubborn and scared about telling him I dreamed about him, about being where Matt had stood that day in the gazebo. I wish I could throw off the tough guy image and just hold him. Everyone deserved some one to love.

And I wanted him.

January...present time

My guidance counselor told me the bad news after Poli Sci. “Since you did not take any fine arts credits in high school, Justice, you need to take them here if you hope to transfer to a four year college.”

“Didn't the creative writing courses over the summer count?”

“Not for transferable credits. There is choir, band, drama, sculpting, painting...” she droned on and on. I could not sing, hated the fact that I could play the trumpet because my father made me learn although I did like playing just not publicly, could not draw a straight line even with a ruler, could not sculpt or make pottery. There was dance but I did not like the idea of wearing tights and tutus. Not very good for my image.

“Fine, put me in drama,” I said with a sigh. I had been avoiding Hector all semester and to some extent Sarah. Jason had transferred to Humboldt State and Matt had moved out of state to help take care of his grandparents in Wisconsin. The group had been broken up and with only Sarah to talk to I was not happy about hanging out with them. I still hated Steven, but he realized I had meant what I said about no bullshit. I had not hung out over at his house every day, only once a week. I spent a lot of time reading and I think I spent over five hundred dollars on new books. Then the new semester started and I was back to sitting with the Crowd at lunch and watching them pick on the guy I wanted to be with but was to chicken shit to ask him.

The counselor nodded and from 10 to 11 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I would be an actor. Now...the only thing I had to do was learn how to act. When I walked in to the Fine Arts wing I felt very out of place. I was a football player, a member of the socially elite (when I was honest), and I was standing in the PA building feeling very out of place. The only time I had ever been in here was for the Story but that was almost a year ago and I was never really a part of it. I looked around for the teacher and saw her on the stage with the rest of the students and my stomach dropped into my shoes. Of course Hector would be in this class. I gathered up my facade of cool and sauntered up to the stage. The entire class watched me stow my bag in the seats and hand the teacher my slip. “Welcome, Mister Anderson. Just mill around while I finish attendance.” I nodded and went to go sit in the wings.

“Justice, what the hell are you doing here?” This was par for our course now. Blunt spoken honesty with a hint of disdain.

“Time, Hector. Need fine arts credits to matriculate.” I looked over at him. A stray memory flitted across my brain. There was a girl in our class who had a crush on Hector in our junior year. I over heard that he was thought to be one of the most beautiful guys in our school and I had told every body in the clique about it. This was before the beating. Looking at him now, knowing exactly where every scar and steel pin was, I could not deny that he was attractive. There was a certain quality that made him look more feminine than most guys that nothing to do with his long hair. He was slight of build, nearly as tall as me. High cheek bones, small nose, naturally rosy lips that should be on a woman. Like Angelina Jolie. Kinda large in the hips but I could not really tell why. He was so beautiful it made my heart lurch to look at him.

“Ah.” He turned to go back to his friends. I realized here I was not the “in” Crowd. I was the outcast and it felt very uncomfortable. Sarah gave me a small wave and all I could manage was a sickly grin.

“Okay guys. For Justice I will remind you that in each class you must pick an accent and everything you say must be said in this accent.” My eyes went wide and I could see the other students were finding a perverse pleasure in my discomfort. Most of them probably knew more about me than I knew they knew. “Is this your first time in drama, Justice?” I nodded mutely. “Then try your best.” I was paired off with a guy named Jerry and we were to do a comedy skit from Abbot and Costello. I was thankfully the one to play the straight man role and not the funny man.

I was so bad at it that they laughed when I spoke and I was not supposed to be the funny one. I could not look up from the script or they would see the mortification on my face. Jerry was a great actor and easily covered every one of my mess ups. At the end I sat in my seat and sank as low as I could.

I somehow made it through the class without killing myself for every slip. I had chosen a British accent and did well enough, but every time I slipped out of it or garbled my words, those closest to me would chuckle or laugh. Hector would just shake his head with a smile on his face. I thought I saw a flicker of compassion in his eyes once, but it must have been my imagination. Steven caught up with me after football practice. It was no longer the season, but a few of us kept at it all year just to stay fit. I was one of them, and so was Steven. “Where were you today?” We always hung out during the hour that was now my drama class.

“I have to take fine arts credits.”

He laughed at me and I knew everyone in the Crowd would know before tomorrow. I really did not care, every one of them could go fuck themselves. Except Seth. He was still the loyal friend I had had all those years. “So, band geek, huh?”

“Nope...drama.”

That sobered him up. “You know that queer...”

“Yes, Steven, I know I'll be in his class.” I left him there with a poleaxed look on his face. I was tired of the whole song and dance with Steven and I was in no mood to deal with being on the end of his barbed jibes. I went off to my next class still hearing the laughter my stuttering and slips had caused. It hurt. I know it was not the same thing I put Hector and Sarah and many other kids through in high school, but it was just as hard for me. I took it personally and that hurt all the more.

Sarah caught up to me later. “Rough day?”

“Oh yeah. There is a lot more to this drama business than saying lines.” Did I just whine? God I was whining to someone who knew all about being teased and all she did was look sympathetic.

“Yeah, but you did okay for your first day. They won't be that bad anymore.”

“Why?”

“I gave them an earful.” I chuckled, imagining her yelling at all of them. “Look, we left last year on a strange note. I wanna start this one on a good one. With you in drama now, maybe it will be cool to actually get to know each other as more than what we were.” We stopped in the quad and I gave a few small nods.

“That would be kinda cool. Hard, but cool.”

“Still got it bad?” I nodded. “He still feels bad about it but he wants to respect your decision so he's acting his ass off to do it. Wouldn't it be easier to just tell him?”

“Easier? Ha! Sometimes I just want to scream it out and get it over with. The rest of the time I don't want to end up like Matthew Shepard in Wyoming.” She looked sympathetic yet again. Great, now I was a sympathy magnet for the former targets. Not cool for the image I wanted to get rid of so I accepted it gratefully. “It would be the final straw if I told him and he rejected me,” I said quietly so no one would hear.

“So the both of you will be miserable to stop you both from being miserable?”

I mulled it over. “Pretty much. Welcome to the insanity of men.” She laughed and gave me a hug.

“It will turn out in the end, I'm sure of it.” She went off to her next class and I went to my dorm room since this semester I got one. My classes ended at four which gave me ample time to relax before dinner. My room was on the second floor and in the middle of the hall four doors down from the showers and across from the bathroom.

My neighbor popped his head out the door. “Keep it down,” he said with a stupid grin.

“Kai. You're my neighbor? Great. I'll have to listen to you either whining about your girlfriend and hear you doing the nasty with her.”

“Neither. She's mellowed out since we had a strange therapy session. Don't ask, you would not want to know. It showed her I was committed to her and was not going to go around and cheat on her.” Which he never did and I know because many of the times he was supposed to be out banging some bimbo he was working with me on his school work, I was the team tutor, or our plays. He was utterly devoted to the woman but she was insecure because all her past boyfriends cheated on her. I don't know why, she was stunning and had a personality to go with it. “C'ya around.” He closed his door and I unlocked mine. The room was twelve feet by twenty feet, perfect for just me. Most of my things were still at the Senator's mansion but I did bring my clothes, not all of them, that would take up ten times the closet space, my books that I reread just for fun, my stereo, my TV and PS3 and my new trumpet, a gift from Nigel he called my “passage to manhood” gift. In other words my “you finally moved your lazy ass out of the house” gift. It was solid silver and played like a dream.

When Friday rolled around the teacher handed out the scripts for the spring play. Since it was my first year I was not given a lead role which was fine with me. I was actually playing the role of a deputy sheriff and had about sixty lines throughout the entire play. “Okay guys. The major roles are gotten by audition only and sorry first years they are not open to you.” I nodded and got a smile from Sarah. “This is a western setting written by last year's Student Author Contest winner. There is a bit of singing and dancing. The choir will be the main body of the singers but the leads all have to sing a solo.” Ha! I was glad I would be stuck in a minor role because I was no singer. “Now, for you old hacks today's lesson should be easy. Stage kissing. There are techniques you can use for those intimate kisses that you do not feel comfortable doing on stage. Pair up with someone and then we'll work on it.”

I almost hoped Hector would choose me, but he did not. Sarah stepped up when it was obvious no one was going to pick me. Who wanted to get the new guy? “Need a partner?”

“You really are sweet, Sarah. How could I be such an ass to you all those years?”

“Stupidity.” I laughed. The teacher explained how you can place your stage front hand on the cheek to block the lips. It looked like a real kiss too as she demonstrated with Hector. “He's an old pro at stage kisses.” We practiced it and I found the move to be natural as it could be for me who has never kissed anyone.

“Okay. Each couple will show how well they have done with only this amount of practice and no notice.” I groaned but Sarah gave me a thumbs up. “Justice?” I must be the first on the roster. Damned last name of Anderson! Curse you! “This is a love scene, so try your best to make us think you love Sarah.”

We went up on stage and stood front and slightly off center. “This is so not cool,” I whispered. I thought about how it should look from the audience perspective and tried to emulate it. I ended up bumping my nose on hers which got a laugh from everyone including us. I took a breath and thought about something else. I thought about Hector. How it would be to kiss him. It saw him in her spot and it all fell into place. As my hand came up my other one slipped around her waist, my eyes flicking to her mouth as a small smile slipped onto my features, and I pulled her close. Our lips were only a fraction of an inch apart as she melted into my arms like we were truly lovers. We held it for a count of five and then slowly drew apart, her leaning in to the hand on her cheek. My eyes were half lidded like it had been the most sensual experience in my life...and in my mind it had been.

The clapping started and I was jogged out of my daydream. “Very good, Justice. Watch out ladies, we got a charmer in our midst.” I turned a little pink as I sat down.

“That was amazing,” said Sarah. “I have never seen that good of an act so soon.”

“I was not acting. I pictured someone else.” She gave me a sad smile and patted my hand.

“Still, you sold it and that is all that matters. Those little tricks are what we learn to find that emotion and sell it.” Aha! So there were tricks and things they did to become so good.

“Nice job,” said Hector as he walked by. I wondered if he meant it.

The next week I found out what one quarter of our final grade was to be. “Okay. Other than the production we will put on in late May there is another assignment that everyone must participate in. Each of you must write a script for a cast of at least two people. No monologues. The entire piece must be at least five minutes but no more than ten minutes.” This was something I could do and do well. “The writer will direct and cast their piece but not star in it.” Like I wanted to star in any piece. “Each person must be included in at least one act.” So I had to be in someone's work. I would probably be the part of the silent butler. I could not mess that up. Maybe the pool boy who gets seduced by the old married lady. “Your works must be submitted by Spring Break.” We all nodded.

By the end of class I knew what I wanted to do and was already writing out when I was supposed to be studying my lines for the final. It was going to be a sorority house setting with some girl on girl action that was more comedy that erotica because each time the two leading ladies were alone someone would come in and break up the scene until finally they would climb into the closet for a kiss. That was where it ended. I hoped it would stand up to the things the actual actors could do. I felt a disturbance in the force and looked up to see Hector standing over me. “Yes?”

“I like it. You have a good talent for writing. Horrible actor though.” I wanted to give him a few choice words but he was being honest. Tactlessly so, but then that was Hector. “You should work on your lines.” He was trying to be helpful, I could tell, but I was too stuck on this idea.

“I know, but I need to get this idea out of my head or it won't stay.” He nodded and shrugged.

“Don't come crying to me for help on your lines when you can't remember them.” He left. I shook my head. I almost preferred when he was not talking to me at all, it was far easier to ignore him and the ache in my heart whenever he walked by. He was an enigma that I would never understand. I had seen how he treated enemies and how he treated friends...I was somewhere in between. He seemed to respect me enough to be honest but not enough to be tactful. He offered the truth how he saw it. He said I was a good writer but a bad actor. I could not make heads or tails of the man.

That thought caught me off guard. When had I started thinking him a man? I had always thought he was too girlie to be a man, but somewhere between the beating and now he was “elevated” to manhood. I pushed away the strange thoughts and wrote. At least in this story I would not be thinking about Hector. There was one spot open for a guy if I wanted to cast one, but it was just a filler spot. A pizza boy that interrupts was not needed.

All weekend I wrote my play. I studied up on how plays were put together and it all came apart when I realized I knew nothing of blocking, staging, asides, monologues...anything. I could mimic it but I did not know the terms. In my rush to run a marathon I had forgotten to even walk to the store to buy shoes. I saved what I had, which was the dialog, and knew I had to wait for Monday for my next lesson. Not soon enough for me. I grabbed my phone. “Hello?”

“Meg, I'm having a crisis. I'm coming to pick you up.”

“J? You don't sound like you are.”

“I'm in drama with Hector and making an ass out of myself.”

“Oh. I'll see you in two hours then.” I made it in one. “Did you speed?”

“Yeah. Crisis?” She laughed and let me into the dorm where I got to meet her two roommates Kelly and Chelsey. “Nice to meet you. Get your coat, we're going out.”

“Where?” I hated when women wanted to know all the details. I gave her a frenzied look. “I need to know what to wear.”

I looked her over. “Slightly better top but not formal.” She shrugged and changed in front of me. I did look, she had a nice rack, but her abs needed work and thus she was not even desirable to me. “Good. Nice to meet you,” I said as I was dragging her out the door, down the stairs and almost shoving her into my car.

“Jeez, J! I can buckle my own seat belt. Take a pill.”

I took a steadying breath. “Sorry. It's just Hector said something and I want to change it.” I glanced over my shoulder and pulled out into traffic. I headed back to Redding.

“Where are we going?”

“Research and I need you, Madame Theater Major, to translate the gobbledygook into terms I can understand.”

“You're dragging me to Redding for a cram sessions and I had to change my top?” She sounded slightly amused.

“Yes and no. We're actually going to the airport. From there to Frisco.” She was so shocked she did not realize I was going over a hundred miles an hour.

“San Francisco? I won't even ask.” She was grinning. “You still have it bad, huh.” I nodded as I switched lanes to pass an F-250 and switched back. “That is so sweet. I almost wish you weren't for him.” I smiled at the inferred compliment and sped on.

In Frisco I rented a car and I drove to the theater where Phantom of the Opera was playing. “You're taking me to the theater? That's so...romantic. And Phantom? Why?” I told her of the play I was writing and what I needed her to help me with. I also told her about the play the whole class was in and why this play was the one I chose. Dancing, singing, and all the rest were in it. And I had never seen it before so I was killing like ten birds with one date. “You really are a nut job.” She gave me a hug and then for the next hours, because I also took her to see Much Ado About Nothing, she gave me a very in depth lesson on why they stood this way and why they turned their heads to the audience for asides. How every move was choreographed so no one got hurt.

“Like wrestling. All are real hits, but their pulled and the target knows how to take it and still make it look real.” She thought about it.

“Yeah, but in stage there are no hits to the body. Ruins costumes and make-up which can be a bitch to fix on the fly.” Made sense.

When she was lecturing I was actually enthralled by the story of the Phantom, a deranged psycho in love with a beautiful young lady and would kill to get her. The passion he showed, the fire in his words. I almost wished I could just watch it. I bought us each a copy of the production and got them autographed by the actress and actors who played Christine, Raul, and the Phantom. “God, if the idiot rejects you go straight and ask me out. This has been the best research date ever. The only one, but still the best.” I laughed and looked around to make sure no one heard her. “J, this is San Francisco.” I grinned broadly and realized she was right. Hell there were five gay couples standing around after the play ended.

“This is so weird to me.”

“I bet.” She took my hand and we had a late dinner down at the wharf and got back to Redding and then Chico by one AM. “Thanks, J.” She gave me a smooch on the cheek and I returned it.

“I'll see you later beautiful.” As I walked away I heard one of the girls cat call.

“Is he your boy toy?”

“J? God no! He's just a really good friend.”

“Is he single?”

“Yes, but his heart already belongs to someone else. He's just waiting for them to stop being dumb and trust him.” That got an awwwwwww, and I smiled as I meandered down the stairs and out to my car. Meg was just about the best.

Monday I went to the teacher and asked her a question. “I read there was to be some fighting in this. Do we have a choreographer?”

“Not yet.”

“I can do it.” She looked skeptical. “I'm the son of a former lawyer, judge and now state senator who was in JROTC for eight years where I excelled in most forms of combat. I know fighting.”

“We'll see how you do, but I will make no promises if you'll keep the position.” I grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

I dashed outside her office and went and found Jerry and Tommy, two of my fellow fighters. They were on the stage bouncing lines back and forth and when I plopped down next to them they looked somewhat curious. “Have you seen there is a great fight scene in act four?” They nodded. “Will you guys help me prove I can choreograph that scene?” They looked even more curious now. They dropped their scripts and followed me out for the most basic of how to throw a punch and a knee, how to use what's on hand to make a weapon, and how Meg explained how they took hits. “Remember, the bigger the gesture the better it looks on stage. Tommy, punch me.” Jerry watched as Tommy sent an exaggerated punch to my jaw. His form was decent but would improve and when it was close to my face I turned it and staggered back a few steps clutching my face. “Good,” I said and we spent the next twenty minutes making a ten second fight scene between us.

When we were done all the cast was there for the afternoon rehearsal and I jogged to the teach to ask her if we could show them our hasty fight. “Hey class, we have a small treat, I think. Justice has offered to choreograph the fights for the play and wanted to show some of what he's just taught Tommy and Jerry. Now each of you will offer your honest opinion. But be tactful.” They cleared the stage and I dragged a couch over while they brought out a table and a break away chair. All were props for this play so I did not have to worry about breaking what was meant to be broken.

I stood by the couch while the others either sat or stood by the table. “No lines yet, but this is kinda act four scene two. Very improvised.” That got a laugh. I nodded to the guys and they nodded back. I walked swiftly over to Jerry and grabbed his shoulder to spin him around and decked him in the jaw. He went flying back and landed atop the table, breaking it in two. Tommy stood as he reached for his chair and swung it against my back. It was a light hit but the chair shattered and he was left with only the back in his hands. I staggered and fell to the ground where he went to jump on top of me. I used my legs to launch him back where he windmilled back and fell over the couch. That was all we had and we stood to see their reactions. The were grinning and clapping. We gave our bows and sat on the edge of the stage.

“Anyone get hurt?” the teacher asked. I shook my head.

“Just my pride,” said Jerry. “Dropped in one punch.” I laughed and pointed. “But hey, he's a big dude so it could happen.”

“Alright, Justice, looks like you're our fight choreographer.” I think someone could have driven a semi into my smile it was that big. “Sarah, what do you think?”

“That that was how his most recent fight went.” I laughed and nodded. Almost did too. “It looked pretty good. Practice would make it better, but not bad.” I blew her a kiss.

I got generally good reviews until I got to Hector. He sat there thinking about his answer. “Not believable. Yeah, Justice is a strong guy, but it was too Batman. One hitter quitter will not look real even as big as they made their movements. Good on that though. Just enough exaggeration to make it right for the stage.” I nodded to say I heard his comment and would keep it in mind, but I felt like there was no pleasing him. I was doomed to never get another kind word without the criticism. Sarah reached over and smacked him in the back of the head. “Hey!” She gave him a look...THE look. “Okay! Jeez. With the amount of rehearsal it was better than I could have done.” Forced though it was I was glad to hear I was doing something right.

When a scene was being done that I was not in I was editing my script for the midterms. It was coming along nicely for a work in progress as I learned how to block in a series of movements around the set. I knew there was a time limit and I had cast every girl in the class to have at least one line as they walked through or onto the set. One was even to be wearing “only” a bath towel. I was pleased with how it was coming along.

“You're learning how to write for the stage, much better.” Hector said from behind me. I jumped about a foot shy of the ceiling.

“Shit, Hector you scared the shit outta me!” He smiled but it was somewhat apologetic. Somewhat. “I took a crash course in stage over the weekend.”

“Where? It seems to be paying off.”

“The school of Meg.” He laughed and nodded. “She dissected Much Ado and Phantom for me.”

“Nice. Videos are not made for stage, but...”

“We went to San Francisco and saw them live.” His jaw dropped and I saw envy in there. Of what I did not know. “I was so into the Phantom that I almost tuned her out. The passion in that story, the anger and rage he expressed. I will never be that good, but it's my goal.”

“Then, rich boy, learn your lines.” He swayed off with his hands in his pockets. That was his mantra for me. Learn your lines.

Friday I handed a rough draft to Meg for her editing. She seemed more amused than put out about my using her as a sounding board, editor, teacher and any other thing I could think of that may help me pass this damn class. She read it over while I paced a hole in the carpet. Her roommates found it humorous that I was so nervous. “Well.” I stopped mid step and sat beside her and fidgeted with my shirt. “Your dialog is seriously good, but you have always been a fabulous writer. A+. The set is simple, but you do not really need more for this so you get a B. The pacing keeps at a steady rhythm, which is not bad, but the audience could get bored with the interruptions happening at very predictable moments. C-. The conclusion is good from all angles. The actresses won't have to kiss, the audience knows what's going on in the closet, and the slamming door is a great way to signal the end of the scene and skit. A. I would give it a B+.” I grinned and then she was telling me how to make it better and even had her roommates help me show how.

“Thank you so much. I think this'll go over well with the guys. From the women's point of view?”

“It was written by a lesbian fetished misogynistic bastard, aka a normal guy.” I narrowed my eyes but smiled.

“Good. That was my whole goal.”

“You're gay?” blurted out Chelsey. The smile was blasted clean off my face as I paled and my hands shook. “I could not tell until just now.”

“I'm... still...”

“Got it. Mums the word. What a waste.” I laughed in relief. Maybe I would not turn out to be a limp wristed sissy bitch after all, just...gay.