All That Drama - 1. Chapter 1

“Hey sissy boy, you dropped your purse!” my friend Steven called out. The person in question looked back with such loathing that I did not want to be associated with the in Crowd when he went Columbine on us all. The statement never failed to produce a laugh from us ...or anyone within ear shot.

“The proctologist called, Steven, they found your head,” the young man shot back and then whirled away, his long blond hair haloing out like a summer wheat blond nimbus. It produced another ooh of immaturity. I shook my head and went to Poli Sci.

Late June...last year

I thought being in college would get rid of all the stupid childish political bullshit. I thought we would be more mature. I thought we would put the childishness of high school behind us...I thought wrong. My college was made up of mostly the kids I went to high school with the previous years and the few people stupid enough to think that the college was a stepping stone into a four year. Nope, mine was a cesspool of the dregs of the county, myself included.

My name is Justice Leonard Anderson. My father, curse his soul, was a judge before someone whack job tried to off him. The man was sent to prison for life without, my father was paralyzed from the neck down, and I was shipped off to JROTC at the tender age of eight. He thought having a name like Justice would be good for me. More like his political career. He was now a state Senator...BFD. I got stuck with a lame first name just so he could hobnob with the snobs. At sixteen I rejoined public schooling in time to be “in”. I'm six feet three inches, pale skinned, hair so black it had blue highlights, and deep brown eyes. Full lips, one hundred ninety pounds of solid muscle and a look of permanent pout on my face, I was a shoe in for every girl in school to go after and the “in” Crowd guys wanted to be part of it. I went along with it, any insane high school jock would, and I had more fuck buddies than I had homework assignments. I would woo the girls for about a month, usually one for every day of the week, and then move on to the next half dozen. I took Sundays off to rest.

When I graduated I was in the top five percent of our class. Not bad considering I was horrid when it came to history and barely scraped a C every semester. I remember sitting in the front row next to the valedictorian, one Hector Andrews. He was a whiz kid, never got below a 98% on anything except a popularity test. He was a member of every boosters club, chess club, drama department and I even heard him playing one mean Jethro Tull flute solo. He was also the biggest queer in the school and made no secret about it. Not that he could. Steven had caught him staring at him in PE and had been the typical dick that he was. Steven led him on and acted like he wanted to have sex with Hector who believed him. When Hector showed up with a pair of tickets to the Aerosmith concert Steven had all of us over as witnesses.

And co-conspirators.

I am ashamed to admit I joined in on the teasing, the name calling, the occasional shove...but I refused to even go through with the gay bashing. They beat him so badly Hector has a slight limp and will have it all his life. He also has four parallel scars in his scalp where they used a crowbar on him. I got one too for pulling them off him. That's the reason my hair is somewhat long, why the “sissy boy” despises Steven, and why I left school politics alone. Hector, with a force of will I found amazing, pulled out of a coma after two weeks, learned to walk, talk, and be human again in two months, and was use to the fact that he would never lead a normal life.

He made a trip to see me during that summer, still relying on a cane to walk. I was shocked to my toes to see him at my door, his hair barely covering the scars. He looked like pan fried hell, but he was alive. “Y-you are an asshole, J-j-justice.” He was probably having to work through the trauma induced stutter to get all of this out and I was obligated to listen. I was just so surprised to see him out and about after so short a time. There was no way I could even formulate a sentence to ask him what he was doing here. “You and y-y-your friends h-have made my life hell.” I was so shocked to see such anger and pain in his blue eyes that I hated myself then.

“Hector, I'm...”

“Save it!” he yelled at me. He swallowed hard as his face contorted in fury. “I am not here for your apology. I'm h-h-here t-t-t-to say thank you.” I blinked in confusion. “You pulled them off of me and got hit t-t-too. I w-w-would be dead if you had not done th-th-that.” I could tell he still hated what I had done to him, would never call me friend, but he seemed to at least call us neutral.

“I'm glad you're alive Hector. And able to function.” I could not say alright. He was far from alright. He nodded and walked back to his mother's car without another word. This was two years ago. Hector had recovered to about 95% normal, Steven had been put on felony probation for those two years, and I was given a clean slate. After graduation I hung out with the guys still, but I found excuses to get out of a few parties because I could not stand who I was becoming...who I had become.

I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror each morning and see a reflection of a shallow man who only womanized, belittled, harassed and hurt others just to fit in. Often I would look to the left side of my scalp and I could still see the stitches they had used to keep my brains in. They were a year and a half removed, but I could still see them. Hell, if I lifted my hair I would see the scar, but that I was kind of proud of. It was the one time in high school I had done the right thing; it was like my Badge of Courage and Honor. That scar, and the ones I knew were matched on a kid whose only fault was that he tried too hard to be himself in a place where yourself is not who you were, especially if that self is gay, was my wake up call. I did not like who I had become, so I did what I always did whenever I chose a new course. Jump in feet first and worry about it later. The Nike way of life: Just do it.

I enrolled in the summer creative writing classes, my one true passion. I loved to write more than I loved football and I loved that more than I loved anything else. The class met every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night from 7 to 8pm and it gave me an excuse to get out of the constant partying that Steven and the Crowd had all summer long. I could claim I had a homework assignment that needed to be turned in Monday to get out of a weekend of meaningless stupidity and then just relax at the college library with Chaucer or Longfellow, maybe even a bit of Piers Anthony. The one time Steven thought to check up on me was the one time I actually had a big assignment due and schmuck that he was he tried to get me to drop it for an hour.

“C'mon, Justice! You haven't hung out with us all week!”

“Steven, I can't. This is ten pages shy of what it needs to be and if I don't get it right there goes my GPA, my scholarship into Davis or maybe one of those East Coast schools, and the Senator will have my hide.” All of these were valid and honest reasons. I was hoping to get out of this state and going back east, where I had been for my JROTC years, would get me as far from here as I could get and still be in the USA.

“Fine, book worm, but Torri will be heartbroken.” He grinned when he saw me wince. Torri was the one girl I had not kicked to the curb when I would find them, fuck them and forget them. The sex was just too good. The things she did were acrobatically erotic and she was the only one I knew who could keep up with my sex drive. Plus she had the sexiest tummy in the universe. Enough definition to make them abs but enough flesh to make them comfortable to look at, to feel, to taste.

“Tell her I'm sorry, but I do have to get this done.” He left after that and I exhaled loudly. God the man knew how to get me off my center! Just mentioning Torri had blown the story ideas out of my brain and put in thoughts that would shame even a porn star. I had to take care of business with The Guy and then I could reread the stuff I had written to get back into the zone.

I was perusing the library when I bumped into someone. I had been looking up at English poets and whoever it was was looking down at English play writes. “Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going,” I said and steadied them.

“No problem. Oh, hey Justice.” The first words were said in a tone of good natured embarrassment and understanding. The other three were neutrally bland and guarded. They were words and a tone I knew well.

“Hey, Hector.” I was suddenly wanting to leave. We had settled into a sort of live and leave alone policy and it worked for us. I don't think in the years after the beating we said more than those words to each other. I did not want it to stay that way. I wanted to give the apology he had never wanted to hear, but it would have to be on his terms. “You taking classes this semester?” It was a stupid question, I knew he was in the drama production of West Side Story since one of my classmates in Writing was also the stage manager for this season.

“Yeah. You?” He looked almost interested, but he was acting. It was a testament to how good he was at acting to seem like he was actually interested in what I was up to and put most of the loathing out of his voice and stance. Academy Award winning performance, trust me.

“Creative writing. How's West Side Story coming for you?”

There was a moment where he was shocked I knew that much about him. “Good. I'm no singer, but it's okay. How's your sonnet?”

“In need of a dousing with kerosene and being ignited, honestly. It is horrible, I'm ashamed to say I wrote it. Hence the research of the masters.” I took a book from the top shelf and handed it to him. “You may find this book good for plays. I recall you liked to write them as well as act.” His senior project was the writing, producing and copyrighting of a play. He had aced it.

“Yeah. Thanks, I'll check it out later.” In other words he would avoid it like the plague. I put it back and then the uncomfortable silence slammed into us. A big shining hippopotamus of silence that trampled on our good days.

“I need to study, so I'll see you around maybe.”

“Yeah. C'ya Justice.” I walked past him. Not twenty feet away was the Crowd here for a run to pick up chicks from college.

“Hey guys.”

“You getting chummy with the fag? You know he was checking you out.”

“I don't care. And we were discussing classes and he asked to see a book from the top shelf.” A little lie, but I did not want to deal with the Crowd's rowdiness now.

“Short little fairy. C'mon, Justice, the girls are waiting.” There was no way I could lie my way out of this one, I did not have class until that night and it was lunch time. I put on a fake grin and hitched my bag higher on my shoulder and motioned for them to lead on. As we were leaving I glanced back and thought, maybe, I had seen Hector's eyes following me.

It was later the next week that I ran into Hector again. I was in the cafeteria with a few of the people from the Writing class while we discussed the latest hell. A fifty page short story about something controversial in today's society. Megan was next to me like we sat in class. “I'm thinking about doing abortion,” she said. I winced. She was a great writer and she would have the readers in tears by the time the story was done. I hope I did not have to student edit her work; it was par for the course for the students to edit the other works before they were handed in to the teacher. Twenty percent of our grades were the editing. “How about you, J.” She never called me Justice. I liked it.

“Well, I was thinking under age pregnancy, but with you doing abortion that would not fly.” I looked up as a group of students came in and stood next to Meg. I looked up into two faces I knew well. Hector's of course and Sarah. Sarah was a big girl, had been as long as I had known her, and we had made fun of her so much that I wanted to hide whenever she came around because she had a knife for a tongue and would give the Crowd the sharp edge that always left them socially bleeding for weeks. Thankfully she never started in on me, but then I usually ignored her. We called her fatty, Moby Bitch, and a few other colorful names that I'm pretty sure she heard at least once.

I could not look either in the eye so I chowed down on my club sandwich. “Meg? Rehearsal?” She thumped her forehead with her hand and packed her bag quickly.

“Sorry, gotta split. You should do that piece, J, it would give the flip side to my story. Maybe we could ask the Prof if we could write the same story but with alternate endings.” I thought about it and nodded. “Super. Bye guys.” They went off towards the PA wing.

“What's the issue?” I heard Hector ask.

“I'm doing abortion, he was thinking about teen pregnancy.”

“Huh. Well, he would...” the rest was lost as the doors shut. I would what? Ooh I hated that, not knowing what they were going to say, but then they hated what I used to say so I guess that made up for some of it. Not.

I was not due in class until later and I was bored so I followed. I was telling myself it was to find out what the play was shaping up to be, but I knew I just wanted to hear what they said about me. I was almost out of ear shot, headed for my locker which was adjacent to the PA wing, but I could tell they were done with whatever was about me. Frustrated I put my book in the locker and still followed them to the theater. I veered off when Sarah looked back with a look of almost humor and I caught the “Hey Meg, I think Justice likes you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He's just stopped following us.” I turned beet red as I yanked open the Music wing doors.

“He was going to the music wing, you nasty gossip,” said Hector with a laugh. He was defending me? Huh. I slipped into the music lab and asked Casey if I could use a trumpet for an hour.

“You play trumpet?” I nodded and he gave me a look that pretty much said he had not expected it and I think I raised in his esteem from toe fungus to paramecium. Casey was a band geek, but a cool one. Played one mean bass guitar. Graduated a year before I did. Hated Steven, which was cool too.

Once I had the trumpet I went into one of the practice rooms and shut the door firmly or so I had thought. I made sure the thing was in tune and blew air through it to warm up the pipes before I actually started playing. The first note was tentative because I had not played in about a year, but like a bike you never really forget how to play. My fingers flicked through the scales I could remember and then the ones that popped into my head. I was not fond of Modal Scales, but they were interesting to hear. With my chops and my fingers ready I eased into my first trumpet recital piece, the theme from Masterpiece Theater. It was nice to play on the trumpet because you could change the style of the piece just by playing faster and more staccato notes or holding it out and playing slower.

I closed my eyes and just played. It had been way too long since I had played and I felt so out of practice and clumsy, but I was playing better than I thought I would. I flowed from that piece into a jazz number called Salt Peanuts. It was bouncy and fun and a challenge for my chops to do with its octave jumps. My toe was tapping and with my mind on the piece and the song coming from the trumpet I did not hear the door open. With my eyes closed I did not see the crowd form outside the door either.

Next came Misty. Anyone who loves jazz knows Misty. Anyone who knows of Johnny Mathis knows the song. Anyone with a pulse should at least have heard it and anyone with a soul should love it. I was doing my amateur best when I finally heard a gasp from the hall and I opened my eyes to see what had to be the entire drama team for the play standing there, Hector front and center. I stopped and turned so red that I heard more than one person snicker. “Why were you never in band?” Hector asked.

“Not popular, Hector.” He nodded, giving me the point for the argument.

“J, are you busy right now?” asked Meg.

“Um, not really. Just getting in some time before class.” I had a bad feeling about this.

“Could you sight read something? Our trumpet player is an audible copy and can't sight read very well.” I wanted to beg out of it, it was not cool at all, but then I remembered I was putting the stupid popularity contests behind me and nodded with a sigh. “You don't have to,” she said.

“It's okay. I just haven't played in a while and don't want to make a fool out of myself anymore than I already do.”

“Because it's not cool?” asked Sarah.

“Well, yes and no.” I left the practice room, emptied the spit valve in the trashcan, and dragged my feet. “Who really wants to be the target of public ridicule? No one.” She looked confused, like some alien had taken on my form and was doing a piss poor job of impersonating me. Hector fell back to join her.

“Is he for real, Hec?” she asked him.

“Honestly? He's changed a bit since high school. Hell, he changed since that night.” They must talk about it for her to know which night he meant. She nodded.

“True. He pretty much ignored me when he got back to school the next year. Better treatment than the rest of the Crowd. Perhaps all it took to get him to think was to knock him one upside his head.”

“Not even he deserved a crowbar,” said Hector and I smiled inwardly. No one really deserved a crowbar, well except Steven.

Once in the auditorium I slipped into the pit and looked over the music. It was of course flavored with Spanish flares and runs you would expect in West Side Story and I was sorely out of practice. I put in the mute and played it through a few times, wincing with every wrong note or when my timing was off. I had hoped it would only take five minutes, but twenty minutes later I played for their player and he nodded. He played it exactly the same way I did, a perfect copy that no one, not even myself, could tell the difference. I nodded once and fled back towards the practice room.

I saw Hector and two other students struggling to lift a heavy set prop onto a riser. Without much thought I set the trumpet down and helped them. I was a lot stronger than all three of them and it was up in no time. “Thanks Justice,” Hector said with a genuine smile.

“No problem. Anything else a pack mule can lift for you?”

He grinned and shook his head. “No, but thanks for the offer.” I nodded and went back to the room. Had I just done something nice for a person who hated me and they had thanked me? How...uncool! I was making progress. Maybe I was no longer toe fungus.

As the summer semester wore on I ran into Hector more and more. There were a few times I would see him across the quad laughing with his friends and I wondered if I would find it funny. He looked better without the constant harassment and with no Steven around. His eyes were not guarded, he sat relaxed and at peace. I could almost see why a lot people defended him in school. He was a genuinely nice person that liked to laugh, have fun, help people out with whatever they needed and I had hated him because he was gay.

In my JROTC program I was conditioned to be very conservative in everything I did and thought. I did not start having my own thoughts until I was nearly thirteen, just parroted what they drilled into me. Gays were not conservative and thus not liked where I was. They were talked about like AIDS victims with sneers and pity for their disease. One guy I knew would laugh along with all of it, but inside he was seething. He hated hearing all of this bullshit because he was in the closet. He was put into the school to teach him to be a man by his bigot Father. I never knew he was gay, no one did, until they found him one morning hanging from the bell tower by a perfect noose with a note pinned to his shirt. It told them all, every last one of them, that what they were doing was the reason he killed himself. That he was gay and their blind hatred for something they knew nothing about was the reason he no longer had the will to live. He had a horrible home life and could not go back. He had a horrible life here so why stay? I heard what the note said and I blinked in confusion. He had been gay? But he seemed so normal, so manly. He was not some limp wristed sissy bitch, he was a model soldier, a good person in community events for help. It began the opening of my eyes, but it lasted only a short time with the constant drilling of words against anything that was not deemed conservative.

Yet the seed had been planted, it just took another three years to germinate.

I remember one meeting was late at night after my class had gotten out and I was not wanting to go home to the lifeless mansion that was my Father's home here. I knew that I would be in the dorms come the fall semester, but it was not fall yet. I was walking past the cafeteria after spending as much time as I could in the library when I heard a scuffle. I've been in scuffles many times in my life with my background and I knew it was four against one. Dropping my bag I sprinted around the corner and immediately pulled one guy off the target and threw him against the wall. The next one I hooked his ankle and he went down for a moment, but it was enough time for their punching bag to get out from under the pile. “What the hell is going on here?” I yelled. Hoping to attract what little people were still around.

“Justice? The hell man!” Great. The Crowd was picking on someone new, yet Steven was nowhere in sight. It was Kyle who spoke up. I had thrown Seth, the token Mexican of the group, into the wall. I had a nasty habit of doing that to him. He would rush at me in his somewhat simple way and I would react without thinking.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” I walked over to look at the kid. Kid is relative because he was probably older than I was, but he was shy, diffident, and by the rainbow flag that was tattooed across his chest, gay. Strangely enough he looked familiar. Not hard in a college this small. “You okay?” He would be, they had only blackened his eye, I think they broke his nose, he had some road rash scrapes across his back and stomach. Nothing that was life threatening. He nodded while pursing his lips to stop himself from crying. “If you want I'll take you to the hospital once I deal with these asshats.” He looked ready to refuse but nodded anyway. I rounded on them so fast all of them flinched. “This is monumentally stupid! What are you doing? Are you still in high school?”

“He's a punk just like the sissy boy.”

“Shut the fuck up about that. Just because the guy may be gay does not mean it is cool to harass him.” I balled up my fist and forced myself to unclench it. I was tired of all the stupidity, all the bad karma.

“You do.”

“I did! I will admit I was an asshole in high school, but I don't do that anymore. It's not cool. I grew up and it's about time you did too. If I ever catch you doing this again I will beat each of you until you apologize and mean it.” They looked so shocked.

“I thought you were our friend.” Seth had finally gotten up. He was short, leanly muscled and could take a hit pretty good, but he was a taco short of a combo plate. He knew he was not that smart, but I will say he was as loyal as a puppy. Even had the puppy eyes.

“I am, that's why you need to listen to me.” Of all the Crowd Seth was my favorite. He was a nice guy who simply wanted to be popular instead of being seen as stupid. He was the only one that visited me when I was in the hospital. “All this has got to stop. Especially with Hector. I want you to leave him alone, please. He's a hell of a lot happier when you are not picking on him. What's your name?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Jason.”

“Leave Jason alone too. He's my new friend and I don't like friends fighting. Got it?” They nodded and looked at their feet. “You wanna press charges, Jason? I know the lawyer to get.” The Crowd looked so scandalized that I had said that.

“No. It's best to leave it here.” I admired Jason then more for his ability to let something like this go than his not crying.

“See? He's no punk, just a person who wants to be left in peace. Now get out of here... after you apologize.” I think only Seth meant it. It surely sounded that way to Jason too because he smiled a bit when he accepted his. “You got everything, Jason?” He rounded up his strewn books and things as I grabbed my bag.

When I turned to the parking lot I saw Hector standing there looking like he was damned impressed. “Cool,” was all he said and left. I had no time to think about what just happened as I drove Jason to the emergency room.

“You know Hector?” he asked.

“I went to high school with him.”

“Then there really can't be more than one Justice in this town. Make it a habit of saving us?” His voice was thick with the fact that he was still trying not to cry from the pain and him having a broken nose. So he was gay. I was not surprised, not with that tattoo, but I was wondering how much I was going to hear about this from the Crowd once Steven heard about it.

“No, I just woke up out of a long stupor and took a look around. I didn't like what I was seeing, so I'm changing it by changing me.” I was moderately surprised Jason and Hector knew each other well enough that Hector told him I had saved him. Wonder if he told him the rest. “Anything other than the obvious hurt?”

“My butt will be bruised from when I landed on it, but nothing else really.”

“Good. I must apologize for those idiots. I'm afraid I was one of them for a while and they learned a few things from me.”

“It's not your fault. As far as I'm concerned you're not one of them. Takes a good heart to face down friends for a stranger.” He was leaning his head back against the headrest and stopping the bleeding.

I was somewhat flattered that he thought I had a good heart. A little uneasy about being with a gay guy alone, in my car, at night. That was mostly the ghosts of my past trying to haunt me. But it was nice to hear that I was doing something right that did not include sex, sports, or academics.

When we pulled up to the hospital I helped him in and filled out the paperwork. Without telling him I put my billing information on there. The Senator was wealthy enough to foot the bill, and if he asked I'll say I accidentally backed into him with my car. “You want me to stay here until family comes?”

“No, go home, Justice. You've done more for me than anyone else I'd just met would have. I really cannot repay you.”

“Don't worry about it. This night has been good for my soul.” I waited until the doctor escorted him into the examination room before I took my leave. I shook his hand and made sure the nurses knew to take very good care of him. Most of them remembered me from when I spent two weeks here and no one forgets the fact that my Father is a senator. I get a few perks with the job, one of them being a bit of good treatment. As I was leaving Hector and six women of varying age came bustling in. I could tell immediately that he had brought the family. “Ladies, and Hector he's fine as can be expected. He's in examination room ten and tell them I said you could see him since I asked he not be disturbed.”

I was attacked by three thousand kissing women varying in age from sixteen to sixty and I was grinning like a fool. This part I could get used to, not that it was worth the beatings for someone, but I liked being...the good guy for once. “Young man, thank you for rescuing my grandson.” She gave me a big hug and reached for her purse and pulled out her wallet.

“There is no thanks necessary, ma'am. I was just doing what was right.” She tried to repay me for my troubles, but I said no a few times before her daughter, Jason's mom, said I would not take it because I was a truly good person who did not need it, just the thanks. That got me more kisses. And home made cherry pie the next day. Food I would accept.

Once I was extricated from the living kissing machine I had to sit down and laugh. “They do take a lot of getting use to.” Hector was leaning against the wall a few feet away with his hands in his jeans pockets. “You have really surprised me this summer, Justice.” He looked at me like I was the runt of the litter that had suddenly showed promise.

“Not as much as I surprise myself. Or you surprise me. I thought you hate me.” I looked at him with as blank an expression on my face as I could manage.

“Well, let's say I've forgiven you as much as I can for now and I think that you would be better off without the Crowd, but since they are your friends, I will call it neutral.” That was a very Hector trait. Blunt and to the point. “And I doubt they'll stop picking on me, but thanks for the attempt.” He was smiling and I remembered a time when I overheard He was thought to be very handsome. I could not really see it, but I guess when he was not angry he was nicer looking and when he smiled he would be better looking. “Go home, Justice.” I nodded and drove home, pondering the enigma that was Hector.

He was obviously trying to put the past behind him as I was and hoping that it would stay there without really expecting it to. He was almost a different person to me, but then I had only seen the anger and hurt he felt except on rare occasions. Was he serious when he said he was forgiving me? After what I put him through I was astonished he even looked at me as a human being. God he was such a nice person that I felt even more like shit when I thought about how much I had wronged him. Maybe, just maybe, one day I would look back and not see all the bad I had done and maybe see him as a friend because I think that would be the only way to gain his full forgiveness. And to forgive myself.

Yet the semester ended before I could work up the nerve to ask to sit with him at his table when Meg was there to be my excuse. I could not do it front of the Crowd. Steven had blown a gasket when he heard I had stopped them. “What the fuck were you thinking, Justice?”

“That if any more of my friends are put on federal probation or in prison for gay bashing that I might as well hide my face for the rest of my life from the shame. I was saving them as much as that kid.” Almost true. I did not really want Seth to go to prison and he would. That or a special needs place where they may consider him unfit to stand trial and send him elsewhere.

“Huh. Next time don't be so damned nice to the punk.” He nodded as if that was final and I waited a minute before I got up and left the table of the cafeteria. I was seething inside from wanting to slap the stupid out of Steven. I knew why he hated homosexuals and it was a good reason to not like them but no excuse to take out his past on every one of them. It was not his fault, and especially not theirs, that his mother turned out to be a lesbian and left his dad for another woman.

As I walked across the quad I saw Hector and Jason talking and veered that way. “Hey, hero.”

I grinned. Jason had lost a lot of his shyness around me and that was kinda cool. He never hit on me which was a relief as I did not know how to take it. “How are you doing?”

“Well, no lasting damage except to my looks, but they weren't all that nice to begin with.” His nose had been broken pretty badly.

“You were never ugly, Jas. Was he Justice?” Hector was teasing me and I jumped on the chance to reach for that branch of friendship. Strange that I wanted to befriend him so badly, but if he was this nice to enemies he would be a great friend and I was in need of new ones. The old had lost their warranties.

“Ugly? Abstract though the subject is for me, no, you were never ugly. You look a lot like your Mom and she's a lovely woman. Take that however you want.”

He smirked. “Huh. Guess I'm not bad looking if straight guys say I'm at least nice looking.” I laughed and bid them a goodbye as I headed to the music wing. It would really be the last place any of the Crowd would look for me so I would be safe there until class.

Nope, not safe. I was cornered in the practice room by Meg. “J, you have got to do me this huge favor.”

I laughed because when she gets excited she talks very fast. “Slow down, Meg. You needed a favor?”

“Yes. Our trumpet player got the shit beat out of him last night and he can't play for the first show.” I thumped my head against the wall. “What? Is that a yes?”

“Is Jason your trumpet player?” She nodded. Now I knew why he looked so familiar. I looked at her. “You know I hate playing in public, right? Hell I hate playing it just to spite the Senator.” I did, a lot. As much as I loved to play, I hated it just as much because I had had no choice in the matter.

“I will beg if I have to! I will have your first born!” She grabbed my hand dramatically and pressed it to her nice bosom. I was not really interested in her bosom, though it was nice. Steven said he would give anything to bang her. I just wanted to be her friend. I was actually tired of sleeping around with women, they never meant anything to me anyway.

“Meg, honey, are you offering me sex to play the trumpet for you?” She nodded. “Gods you are desperate! No, you will not cheapen yourself by becoming a whore. I will do it to save you that.” I was being honest. She did not need to resort to sleeping her way into a trumpet player and I would not let her. “I will settle for a movie sometime though.”

She kissed me full on the mouth and I must say she was pretty good. Not a virgin I guessed. Not that I had ever kissed anyone really. Kissing was too intimate, too familiar. I did not kiss anyone for real. There were two kind of kisses. Ones for social functions like tea or political meetings. The other you meant. That was really the closest I had ever come and it was more of a friendly than a romantic kiss. Maybe there was a third kind. “Thank you so much. Hec was right, you are decent underneath that pretty face.” I smiled and gave her a hug. Hey, I was complimented on my looks and my personality. “Can you start today at one?” I nodded reluctantly. She reached back into the hall and pulled the music from thin air.

“Confident I would say yes?”

“Well prepared. Look it over.” She gave me another kiss on the cheek and then ran back to the PA wing. I shook my head. Hector had said I was decent. Did I have a covert cheer squad or what? Was he trying to hook me up with a friend as a way of making friends? Sweet if it was true, creepy if she was secretly an assassin sent to kill me with sex. Hey, there were worse ways to die. Alone was one of them.

When rehearsal came around I was sitting in the back of the room with my trumpet and my music. The set looked fabulous and the actors were starting to use basic costumes during rehearsal. I had been studying the music intently. Just do it, I said. If nothing else I got a date out of this and hey, it may be fun. I would not really be in public, you could barely see out of or into the pit under the stage so no one would really see me except the other musicians. When Meg called everyone to order I slipped into the pit and sat were Jason was waiting. “And you're covering for me opening night?”

“Do not remind me. I hate public performances, but Meg asked, no begged me and it's hard to say no when she offers to go on a date.”

“Is that the only reason you're doing this? To sleep with her?” He seemed unsurprised and disappointed.

“No, I actually turned that part down.” He did a double take. “Seriously. She offered, but I won't let her be a whore.”

“God if you were gay I'd snatch you up in a heartbeat. That is so nice.” I blushed as the conductor raised his baton. All business now, I watched for the tempo and came in a quarter beat too late. No one seemed to notice or no one wanted to comment that I was there as a favor and some forgiveness could be extended to me. I did recover after that one beat and the rest of the piece was adequate. “You want to play the entire time? Really you're better than I am.”

“No thank you. Heal up so I do not have to endure this torture.” He thought I was joking but he could tell I hated playing in front of people. He patted my shoulder and nodded his respect. That was worth this, actual respect.

Once the rehearsal was done I hightailed it out of there and got to class at the same time as Meg. “Thanks again, J.” She gave me a hug in front of the whole class and they cat called until she gave them all a withering glare. Then they just laughed.

Of course the Crowd knew all about it the next day and wanted to know what was up. “You filling in for the queens now? What the fuck is up, Justice?”

“I get a date out of it. With Megan Usher.” Steven's jaw dropped and bounced off the the plains in Australia before he gave me a high five.

“Gonna get some?”

Pervert I thought. “Maybe.” I left it at that as Meg came by and I left to join her. “I'm apologizing now.”

“For?” I told her. “But it is the truth if not the reason. You will be taking me to the movies.” She took my hand like we were dating and I was grinning as I heard the Crowd hoot. “And you're still friends with them why?”

“Actually, I'll be on the football team this next year with two of them, why make it to where they wanted to let the other school cream me? I play quarterback.” She giggled. “I am looking to make new friends though.”

“Keep the sweet guy act up and you'll find a number of young ladies would like to be your friend.”

“Had enough of those friends already. I want friends without the benefits.” She faltered a step. “What? Wait, did Hector tell you how bad I was in high school?”

“Yup. That is why I knew the sex would get you, but I was wrong. I'm glad.” I grinned as I opened the door to the auditorium. Tonight was opening night and after tonight I was off the hook to play but who knows? I might like it. Yeah right!

Everything went off without a hitch and no sour notes or false starts from me. No one knew I was down there except the cast and orchestra and they only knew I was sitting in for Jason. Once the final curtain fell I was out the back door and in the green room to put away the trumpet and get out of there before anyone could embarrass me. Nope, cornered again. “Thanks everyone for being here. Tonight's show almost did not happen. Our first trumpet was in an accident and could not play tonight, but a very nice guy, who asked to remain anonymous, sat in. I was planning on publicly thanking him by name, but seeing as he is very shy, I will say only Thank you.” I smiled like an idiot and walked out of the green room with my hands in my pockets and whistling the solo I had done. I had done it well too. It was not so bad.

Leaning up against my car was Hector still in costume. “Shy?” I chuckled and shook my head. “Will you ever stop surprising me?”

“One day. What is the newest one?”

“Oh, Jason told me all about the date.” I went to explain. “When did you ever turn down sex from a beautiful woman?”

“Since I decided to be a better person.”

“Better? Try so nice I would forgive you the teasing.” I looked confused. “Paying Jason's medical bills?”

“Oh. That. The Senator is actually footing the bill.” He laughed and I had to join him. The laugh was cut off as I saw Steven. He was storming over and I nodded over Hector's shoulder so he would know. “You should go.” He got that stubborn look in his eyes and all the joy faded from them as anger bubbled up. His posture stiffened and his face went from happy and free to guarded and closed off.

“Get lost fag.”

“Go fuck a dead dog, Steven, it must be the only bitch that will sleep with you.” I masked my smile in time but Seth was not so successful. Thankfully he was behind Steven. Steven's fists were white knuckled with rage. I had to do something.

“Yeah, I'll try not to keep her out too late, Hector.”

Without missing a beat he nodded. “If you do I'm calling the cops. She only agreed to do this farcical date so you would play tonight and I will not see you hurt her.” His voice was tight, controlled, and dripping acid. God he was good at ad lib. He took my story and ran with it. “Boys, Justice, Dog fucker.” He turned and left with a sway in his hips and I had to unlock my car and get in before I laughed my head off.

“I'll see you later. I have a date.” I started her up and pulled out before they could stop me. Steven made a gesture that I knew meant trouble, but I could not do anything about it right now. I was waiting in front of the PA building when Meg came out. I opened the door for her and she looked like she was going to melt.

“No guy does that anymore.”

“I do.” She smiled and took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Thanks again for tonight.”

“Thanks for not mentioning my name.”

“Least I could have done. Jason sends his thanks and Hector sends his warning, whatever that means.” I laughed as I pulled into the streaming traffic headed out of the college. I told her the conversation and she had to say she thought the guy had bested Steven yet again, but Steven was not one for lengthy insult games. One or two before he started hitting.

I pulled onto a side street because I had seen something that did not sit with me. When I pulled to a stop and got halfway out Hector stopped on his bike. “Do you know that Steven knows the routes you take home?” He nodded. “Get in,” I said with exasperation.

“I can make it home and you're on a date.”

“And then I would feel like shit for not stopping for you.”

Meg opened her door. “Just do it, Hec.” With a sigh he did and I helped him secure his bike to the wrack on top of my car. He hopped in the back seat.

“I don't know why you stopped.”

“Because Steven gave Kyle and the cronies the signal to find you and hurt you.” He looked a bit scared. “Yes, they have one just for you. I won't let it happen again if I can help it. Nice job on the ad lib.”

“It's a gift.” His tone said it was to be expected of him to be good at it. I shook my head, thinking that tone and those words would have come out of my mouth during football season. “You can let me off at the 7-11 up here. I live a few blocks down and you two need to get on that date.” He was smiling in the rear view mirror. I did drop him there and he gave Meg a hug and stuck his hand out for me to shake. I looked at it for a second and then took it. He had a firm handshake perfect for any high society ball where a man is judged first on the lady on his arm and then his handshake.

I got back in the car and sat there for a minute. “You okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Just it's been a really weird summer.” I did not clarify it so she did not ask.

Classes ended and I was once again forced to hang out with the Crowd, but Meg would call me at the best times to save me. True, I called or texted her from the bathroom of Steven's Dad's mansion to save me and she always did and I could be gone within the hour to go hang out with her. Sometimes she would just agree to call and give me the excuse because she was busy. She had let it be known that I was fabulous in bed but only after we had been “dating” for a month and I let Steven know she was better than Torri. He would not cock block me from getting laid so he always let me go without complaining...much.

It was on one such busy outing that I ran into Meg, Hector, Jason and Sarah at Barnes & Noble. She had said she was out about town that day with friends and I did not know they would be there, but I saw Jason's black emo haircut from across the store and could not pass up the opportunity to be evil. I walked as quietly as I could and got an inch from his ear. “Tell me you aren't buying a romance novel.” He leaped into the air and almost screamed. I had to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop from laughing.

“You asshole,” he said in a harsh whisper. “God you scared me and gave me chills at the same time.” I grinned like an idiot. “Kind of a turn on.” It wiped the smirk off my face which made him smile. I nodded like he got me. “And if you count vampires as romance then yes, I am. Mary Janice Davidson is a goddess among the genre.”

“Like Anne Rice?”

“No way! Nowhere near as trashy or sinister. Think dumb blond vampire queen.” I did and laughed quietly. “It's that good. What brings you by?”

“Actually Meg gave me an excuse to get away from the Crowd, but she's busy so I came to grab a cappuccino and a new book.” I looked at the Undead series by the author he mentioned. The cover art was laughably simple, but if the blond queen was the main character it fit. I snagged the nine books. “I'll try it.”

“Right on. And Meg is sitting in the Starbucks here with Hector and Sarah.” I blinked a few times.

“I don't want to intrude.”

“Why? Because of Sarah?” I nodded. “Well, I'll tell them you stopped in to grab a book and I saw you leaving.” I nodded, skipped the cappuccino, and paid for the books. I had not wanted to force Sarah to be around me and I did not want her to get up and leave her friends because of me. I went home to rattle around in the Senator's house and plopped down in my bedroom chair. It was a big, comfy thing perfect for me to curl up with poetry or a new book. I opened the cover and flipped to the first page and laughed. Any book that starts out with “The day I died started out bad and got worse in a hurry,” had my attention.

I was maybe forty pages into it when a knock came on my bedroom door. Only one person ever knocked and that was Nigel. He was the family butler and took care of the house while the Senator was in Sacramento doing his job. He knew he would have the house all to himself come Fall, but he was okay with that. Proper and somewhat distant, he was still more of a Father to me than my own. “Come in Nigel.”

It was not Nigel, at least not solely Nigel. Meg and Hector had no qualms about coming in to gawk at my room which I was sad to say could fit all of Meg's house in it. “You have guests, Master Justice.”

“Well duh. Thanks Nigel. You can take the rest of the night off.” He nodded and went back to his little two bedroom guest house. “This is odd for me.” I said as I got out of my chair.

“This place is HUGE! I think we lost Sarah and Jason a mile back in your driveway.” Meg came over and gave me a hug. “How is this weird?”

“I have never, in my entire life, had anyone in my room who was not me, the Senator or Nigel.” She looked for signs of joking but I was serious. No one, not even Steven, had seen the one place I went to ignore the world and just relax.

“Wow. Should we go to another room?” asked Hector. He seemed genuinely concerned about intruding too.

“No, it's okay, just...strange.” Jason poked his head around the corner of the door and whistled. “You don't have to whistle, I know I'm hot.” Meg rolled her eyes while I heard a snicker from outside the door. “Come in all of you. Have a seat anywhere you can find room.” I was grinning while I said this.

“No wonder you did not even blink when you gave them your billing info.” Sarah came in looking a bit out of sorts. We had not really said anything to each other even when we were in the auditorium at the same time for rehearsal. “Your Pop must be loaded.”

“Yeah. Being a lawyer, judge, and now a state senator made for comfortable living. For him.”

“You don't flaunt the fact that you're rich,” said Sarah.

“Actually, I do. In small ways. Ask Meg about the sound system in my car.”

“Loud. 16” subwoofers, four of them, in the trunk and a 12” woofer under the driver's and passenger's seat. That's just for the bass. XM radio, forty disc CD changer, DVD player. It's all there.” She ticked off every item in my car down to the fact that I had purposely left the few dings and scratches in the paint so as to not attract attention to me.

“And your wardrobe,” Sarah said. “I've never not seen you in something that looked good, even if it was jeans and t-shirts.” I nodded.

“Other than that I pretty much ignore the money except in emergencies. I work for most of my money at the Senators former law firm as a junior paralegal. I'm a gofer.” They laughed and sat down. I curled up in my chair and looked at the first people to be in my room. “So, what brings you guys away from cappuccinos?”

“Jason snitched on you when I knew he was lying,” said Hector with a grin.

“It was sweet of you, J, to worry about Sarah.”

“But I'm a big girl and I never really saw you teasing people senior year. You were becoming, GASP, human.” I nodded. “So consider us on a fresh page.” I smiled and nodded. God, were these two for real? Could they so easily forgive me? Yes, but they would not forget and would be watching for anything that would prove they had been stupid.

“Can I get you guys, and gals, anything? I can order out for pizza.”

They shared glances and talked telepathically the way all women and apparently gay men do all the time. “No, we just filled up on the cappuccinos.” The rest of the evening passed by quickly but nicely. There was not much tension in the room and I think most of that was because they all came from middle income families and I was sitting in a Tudor mansion super sized. When the end of the night came I walked them out to their cars so they would not get lost in the house and to say goodbye. I gave a hug and smooch on Meg's cheek, a guy hug to Jason who mostly acted more flamboyant than he really was, a handshake to Hector and stepped up to Sarah to let her decide how she would say goodbye. I was very surprised, and pleased, when she gave me a hug. It was nothing like the one I gave Megan, but it was a beginning.

“Have a good night guys.” I waved as they drove away. I schlepped back into the house and closed the door. I leaned against it with a small smile on my face. It was working. I was doing my best to be a better person and people were noticing and reacting with positive reactions. I felt hopeful for the future. Perhaps I could make this small place a bit brighter by not being an asshole. It started with a smile instead of a frown, a good word instead of a taunt, a handshake rather than a closed fist.