All That Drama - 5. Chapter 5

I was in serious trouble. I had done exactly what Hector predicted and put off learning my lines and it was a week before Spring Break. I was royally fucked. I was up late into the night and up early in the morning to learn these stupid lines. It was not a leading role, but I had more than my share of lines that seemed to be impossible for me to get right. How would I ever get them with only six weeks left? I was holed up in the PA wing since I had already done the midterms for the other classes and was not required to attend them. My head was swimming. “You look like hell.”

“I feel it Hector.” We had settled into our truce. We did and said nothing to anger the other and it was working out just fine. I still helped him with his fighting and he gave me pointers on the small things he felt I needed to work on. We both flourished in the areas we lacked thanks to the other. He said nothing about the roses, but in the front pouch of his back pack was the card, laminated. “You were right.” I was reading the lines over and over again.

“I was?” He sounded so shocked. Even when he was helping me I had not said anything to that effect. “Are you some sort of alien in the form of Justice Anderson? The man I remember is a cocky son of a bitch with his nose so far up in the air that he is constantly looking over his shoulder.” His words made me stop. He was smiling a bit to show he was jokingly serious.

“I do not need that now, Hector. I can't get my lines. And I am not that guy any more.” I was too frustrated to be angry.

“You're right. You've been...different since we got to college. Like you left high school behind you. All summer you were changing almost day by day and for the better. You seemed to want to be...different.” He sat down opposite me.

“I did. I hate politics and school politics are just stupid. I've always known it, but you know the final straw...it broke both of our backs.” He jerked in shock.

“You mean...because of me?” Had he not gotten that from my blow up? I thought I had made it clear he was the reason I was trying, but maybe he had not thought about it in that light.

“Yes and no. I hated what I was becoming if I helped those assholes do something to a person who did not deserve it. I could not stand there and let it continue.”

“And yet you still hang out with them.” He could not equate that part still.

“They are my friends, all things considered. I have to see them every day in classes and the team. They are still petty assholes and would let the opposing team sack me if I did not at least talk to them.” He nodded. He knew all about survival. “So, if you'll excuse me, I have these messes to memorize.”

“Let me help you.” I looked back up. I had not expected it at all. “I know it seems like hypocrisy, but you did not come to me for help, I'm offering.” I stalled for a few reasons. “Look, I know you don't like me because I'm gay, but this performance must be at least adequate for us to pass. All of our grades are on the line and if you tank so badly that the entire piece falls apart then everyone fails. So let me help you.” He was so earnest, so open and vulnerable that I put aside the rest of my pride and nodded. I did need help and Meg was studying for her own midterms so I could not bug her.

“You know... why did I not see this side of you years ago?” He pulled out his script from his bag.

“All you saw then was popularity, which I was not.”

“Touche'.” He smiled for the first time that month that I could remember. Yes, he would be a chick magnet. Many girls probably lost their hearts to him only to find out that he was gay or they knew and just could not help it...like me. I could not help but love him for his heart, his soul, his wit and then his body. I had never seen his body, but I wanted to. I could see where the scars would be. How many had healed? How many were still there?

For the next four hours we studied our lines. It was an intense session where he would send lines at me and I had to say it right or he would keep doing it. He was like my drill instructor in the JROTC program and I responded to that with more effort than I would have put forth on my own. When it was obvious I had taken as much as I could we grabbed our things and parted. “Thanks, Hector.” I stuck out my hand and he shook it.

“No problem, Justice. Same time tomorrow?” I wanted to say no, that I had the lines, but I knew that was just the old ghosts haunting me. In for a dollar...Besides it gave me an excuse to see him when there was nothing to do but lines. Yet if I was alone with him I would be too stuck on him and not on the lines.

“Sure. If you can get some of the others too, that would be great. You know, bounce the lines off each other.”

There was a momentary flicker of regret, but he nodded. “Sure. Sarah would love to help you. She likes you, you know.”

“Sarah? She's a good friend but I'll have to tell her she's not my type. I prefer less voluptuous.” She was not my type at all, but she was nice and a great actress. Guess being close to three hundred pounds either made for a thick skin or a great defense mechanism. Hers was an infectious grin and to be the best actress she could be. She had really been a great help through all this that had I not been so smitten with Hector I would have considered it just because we were compatible as far as personality.

“That was almost nice. You really have changed. In high school she would have been beneath your notice or called the fat girl.”

“She was...on both accounts,” I admitted. He looked at me oddly. “Look, I've been trying my hardest to get rid of that side and part of it is to try and be nicer to the people I teased. It won't erase the years, but I hope to at least make amends.” Hector just nodded and left.

The next day there were three other people to help with their lines and my cues. The next four more. The one after that seven others. By the last day before Spring break the entire cast had taken time to help me with my lines and I finally found that I was accepted for being me and not for what I looked like. There was a moment when Sarah came over to me and gave me a hug. “You are forgiven, my friend.” That was all she said and I had to leave the stage. Those three words had me crying tears of relief. One person, one I know had heard every jeer and taunt, had forgiven me. Maybe my own changes were making a difference. I knew who was responsible for this too, and I felt that Hector was on his way to forgiving me too. Had he told her what I said? Since the line reading we had put aside our pasts and decided to be friends. The great thing was we both went at it with a will to be best friends by tomorrow.

I had to do something. Something inside of me said that I had to do one last thing before Spring Break that would show them once and for all I was changed. I stayed up all night to delete my entire script and start from scratch. I was in the zone just clicking away at my laptop, all the knowledge I had gotten fresh in my brain and it gave shape and form to my goal, my purpose. This was not the same crap I had produced before. This one would mean something other than a passing grade. This was the lessons I had learned. I handed it into the teacher the last day before Spring Break. I had not slept at all but I was very happy with the product. She looked it over and nodded. “Very nice, Justice, and a very controversial issue. I see a bit of type casting, but they are the best for the roles. So, by the small look at it I would say you are going to pass my class. You have worked very hard in this class and your improvement is astounding. I hope that next year you will come back.”

“Probably. I've actually had fun in a class I knew nothing about. So you think it's good?”

“Yes.”

After Spring Break, which I spent more time at home studying my script than hanging with the fellas, whom I did not feel so close to anymore, I was in drama when the teacher came in with the midterm grades. They were based solely off the quality of the skit. Staging, dialog, meter if it was supposed to have any, pacing...anything could drop your grade. Everyone turned to me with applause. “What?” I asked dumbly.

“You've only earned the first 100% she has ever given.” My jaw dropped and I had to see for myself. I walked up to the board and looked. There was my score on the top of the list. 100%. My grin took in my ears. Hector clapped me on the shoulder. “I have to see this skit.”

“You will, you're in it.” I grinned at his look of shock. “I hope that it makes up for some of what I put you through.”

“There were no male parts in it.” He had read my original piece. He had said it was going to go over well and had enough humor to make it funny, enough mushy stuff to make it sappy and a great ending.

“I scrapped that one.” He looked at me like I was insane. “Stayed up all night and wrote this one and handed it in the last day before break. It's something much more than that crap I had.” He looked mildly curious now. The teacher came in with the stacks of scripts written by the student and handed a copy to those who were in the skit. I was given one written by one of the other guys. Jerry was a better actor than me, everyone was, but as I looked over his script I saw why he had earned only an 82%. The dialog was okay, the general story was pretty good. It was a love story from what I could tell...with no part for a lady. I flipped through the pages to look at the stage notes and my jaw dropped. There in parenthesis was the most frightening thing I would ever do.

I had to kiss a guy. At first I wanted to go pin Jerry down and ask him why he cast me in the lead role opposite another dude, but this was part of my grade. I had learned techniques that made it look like I was really kissing someone but our lips never touched. I could do this. I could...god I felt queasy. “You okay Justice?” Hector asked. I showed him the script. He read it and had to cover a giggle. “You'll be fine.”

“Are you trying not to laugh at me? Cause this is going to be really hard for me.” I had never envisioned having to kiss a guy on stage and only with Hector had I had half formed thoughts of actually kissing him.

“I think you can do it. Jerry would not have put you there if he did not think you could.” He was acting, I could tell because his face was neutral. He was laughing at me! Then he got his script and looked at the author. His face turned very white. This was his second script, he already had mine. His hands shook.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, I think we need to really talk, Justice, if we're going to be kissing on stage.” I shook my head in denial. It was not even possible...karma could not be this cruel. He showed me the script. My heart jumped up into my throat and did the Tango before resuming its natural place in my chest. I would get to stage kiss him! That would be so hard not to just go for it. I wanted to kiss him. Me! The guy who does not kiss wanted to kiss someone. “We could ask him to cast someone else...” He was giving me an out, something he knew I would appreciate. I could see he was scared to be starring opposite me. Some of the old memories flickered across his eyes but he shoved them away to tell himself I was not that guy anymore.

I took a very deep breath and dredged up a reserve of fortitude I never knew was there. “No...we can do this. I will just have to get over my squeamishness. We're both mature adults. Well, adults anyway.” He was really good at looking at me like I was either crazy or I was about the nicest person he knew. “Look, Hector. I never hated you because you were gay. My father had me put in JROTC for eight years and they were very anti-gay. I was programmed to think badly about it, but if you were so evil you would never have been so nice to everyone else. So nice to me.”

“Are you sure? I don't want to shatter what bridge we've built since this summer and repaired this last month.” He was being honest and I knew then I did not want to lose his friendship either.

“Yes, I'm sure. We'll just use those techniques and not worry about it.” That was apparently the right thing to say because he grinned. It would be very hard on me to do this. Hector knew it. “You're in two skits, so we'll work on mine when we have a majority of the cast here and make time with Jerry to do the other.”

That proved to be very easy because my cast, mostly guys, also included Jerry. Sarah had a pretty big part too and she helped organize our rehearsals. When I went over the script with my cast I was nervous. “Okay. Bear with me. I've never directed at all. This is a sort of slap in the face of prejudice. The main character, Francis played by Hector, is a gay man in an ROTC program.” Hector looked at me in a mix of fear and confusion. I had said this was better. He would see it was something by the time I was done explaining. “He pretty much says they can go fuck themselves because he is not changing who he is. The leading lady, Constance played by Sarah, is his best friend and the girlfriend of Steven, played by Patrick, who is a raging homophobe.” I grinned evilly.

“I am not!” the man quipped. Hector hid his laugh behind his hand. I had to grin at him.

“The rest are fellow inmates at the ROTC program. Steven does his best to hurt Francis and Constance dumps his ass in a very public, very loud break-up. The only person who has any sympathy for him is Francis. Everyone turns their back on Steven because he starts hanging out with Francis. Turns out that Steven is a closet case and tells Francis.” Hector threw his head back and laughed while he clapped his hands. By the glint in his eyes he knew who I was poking fun at.

“Oh you're an evil man, Justice,” Sarah said. She knew all the inside jokes in the piece and by the grin she approved of it. A slap in the face alright.

“I try. Any problem playing a gay guy, Patrick?”

“No.” He was a laid back guy who liked to have fun in everything he did.

“Good, cause you get to do some stage snogging with Sarah and Hector.” Sarah blushed. I had wanted a strong leading lady and Hector and Sarah already had that chemistry I wanted. I had written the parts with them in mind so they should be able to do it with ease. “So, in the end it turns into a tragedy. Steven kills himself.” That sobered them. Like a hammer smashing into the skull of a cute kitten they were so shocked and suddenly serious that they flinched and shuddered at the same time. “He kills himself because he hates what he is, everyone except Francis has shunned him and his own father had disowned him. Sad to say this is based on real life. There was a guy when I was JROTC who hung himself because he was gay and everything in his life was so conservative he had no way to let loose and be himself.” They were shocked and appalled at this and I shook my head. “While this is somewhat a satirical piece it has a strong message I want out there. I hope that anyone who sees this will walk away seeing things from the perspective of someone who was teased, belittled, hated, whatevered from ignorant stupidity and prejudice. It was a lesson I learned over the last year.” I watched them mull it over. This had suddenly become more than just an assignment for class. It was as if I had written this to send a message. I had, but not the one they thought. The message was for two people in particular, one of which would probably never see it. “So, page one.” We did a quick read through and it was better than I hoped. They laughed at their stupid lines and got serious when they were meant to be.

My skit with Hector went great until we got to THE SNAG. I was not surprised I was able to affect that I loved him. It was not too hard, the only hard part was making it seem like I was acting to do it. It was actually easier with him than it would have been with any other guy because we were friends and he was a great actor and could cover for my blunders. Jerry's piece had undergone a bit of an overhaul. Both of his actors had suggestions on dialog that he ratified with no problems. “Hey, I'm no writer whereas Justice is. I would almost say ad lib it all, but it has to be from the script.”

“It's actually good as a format, Jerry,” I said. “A lot of potential for ad lib, but you should not accept our suggestions if they are not what you want.”

“Yeah. It's your piece,” Hector said.

“I know, but what you guys have suggested has made it better. Okay. The one part ole Justice has been avoiding like the plague.” I grinned and blushed which made Hector chuckle.

“Quiet you. You've been snogging guys since you were probably ten.”

“Actually...I've never kissed a guy other than on stage.”

“Huh? Then how do you know...”

“I said no kissing.” He gave me a seductively evil grin. “Does not mean anything else.” I made as if to puke.

“That does make sense. I never saw you and Matt kiss. Had to keep him somehow.” I grinned as he rolled his eyes.

“Hey, if rumors are true you've slept with half the high school.”

“Close. 45%. The rest were of the 'alternate life style' persuasion or guys. So you never found the one to kiss?” He nodded. “Me either. The closest was with Meg when she asked me to play for the Story. Sex is fun, but kissing is more than that.”

“You understand then.” I did. Now that I had found the one I wanted to kiss I knew why I had not before. I had not loved any of those women, it had all been about the physical sensation.

“Guys? The skit?” We chuckled and set down the scripts. This was so awkward it hurt. I stepped up to him and our arms seemed to be in the way. We got all tangled up and laughed when we fell over on the couch that the scene required.

“Okay, okay,” I said and took a deep breath. I brought my hand up and placed it on his cheek. He leaned into the touch with more feeling than I could ever muster. We stayed that way for a moment and he brought his hand up to my cheek, the side the audience would be seeing which effectively covered the fact that our lips would not be touching. We moved in until our noses were touching. That was when Hector crossed his eyes. I lost it and fell off the couch laughing. “Damn you!” I had been so close to actually kissing him that I was glad he had done something goofy. It would have been all bad if I had done it in the middle of class.

“Tension breaker.” He helped me up.

“No laughing,” Jerry chided although he was stifling a laugh as well.

“He started it.”

“I know, he's pulled the same stunt on me. That was why I cast him opposite you. If anyone can get you over that last hurdle of kissing a guy, it's Hector.” So there was a method to hid madness. “Try it again.” We sat on the couch again and this time the stage kiss went flawlessly. There was something about Hector that put me at ease with this, other than the fact that I wanted to do it. Probably that look in his eyes that said he would not push me farther than I was willing to go. He did not challenge me to really kiss him or expect anything other than a stage kiss.

We went over the scene many times until there was no hesitation on my part. “I'm impressed, Justice. I fully expected you would need more than one afternoon to get comfortable with the kiss.”

“Well, Jerry, I have an excellent teacher.” I gave a smile to Hector and he returned it. “This is going to be interesting.”

“May I have your attention please?” The teacher's voice rang out in the auditorium. “I have a last minute announcement. Dean Munroe and Dr. Perrin have asked that we actually perform our skits for the student body in the amphitheater the last week of the year.” I felt faint. I sat down hard and put my head between my legs and concentrated on my breathing. Hector sat and put his hand on my shoulder.

“You okay?” His voice was full of concern.

“No. I...I can't do it. Either of them.” My breathing was coming in short gasps and spots swam before my eyes.

“You'll be fine.”

“No, it's not that. What if Steven sees the play?” Hector looked spooked. He had not thought of that and I had not thought of it when I wrote it. I thought it was just for class. “Yeah. He is pretty savvy about jokes targeting him. God, if he nearly killed you for just being gay...”

“Listen. He won't try anything. Then everyone will know what a toad he is and if he lays one finger on either of us he goes to prison for life.” There was that. If he went after anyone seen as homosexual that was a hate crime and he would be gone for a very long time, more so since he was convicted of the same thing already. “So don't worry about it.” He took my hands in his and that simple act made me feel better. I looked up at him. I loved him so much. “Maybe if he does try anything I can save you this time.”

I chuckled and pulled him into a hug. “I really do not deserve a friend like you, especially how I treated you.”

“Like you said, that was then.” He pulled back and took my shoulders in his hands. “You have become the kind of person anyone would like to have as a friend. Sarah agrees. Meg loves you like the brother she never wanted.” I was lucky. I knew it and would not question my luck.

Over the next two weeks it seemed my entire existence involved either Hector or Sarah or both. The helped me with my lines, with various tricks and not-so-secret secrets that helped them remember their lines and cues. I think the three of us lost whatever reservations we had left about Just Doing It and found that aside from drama we had shared passions. Hector and his music was my favorite. I could, and did once, listen to him play the flute all day. From everything classical to rock like Tull and even throw in some Celine Dion “The Heart Will Go On” from Titanic. He would not care what people thought he just played what and how he wanted. More often than not if it was a lyrical piece it would make me smile and a few times tear up. There was one Sunday I had invited them over to the Senator's house for lunch and then we would go to the movies. I was playing my trumpet and trying to get the same emotion that Hector had on his flute, but it was a totally different instrument meant for grander songs and more power than the floating grace of the flute.

I think they were related to Judas Iscariot because they showed up early...and with more company. A Lot more company! I had left my bedroom door open because Nigel liked to hear me play when he was going about his routine so I did not hear them enter. I tend to close my eyes when I play so I did not see them either. One would think I would keep them open to stop what seems to be a trend, but no. I was in the middle of the Dion piece when I heard the harmony on flute. I almost grinned. I knew who it was immediately and knew that Sarah was there too so I did not even stop. While what came out of me was more of a power ballad with strong emotion of love shining through, his was soft and gentle, a caress of notes that flitted about my melody with longing and sorrow. When we got to the last chorus he soared away with the melody and I slid into the melancholy I felt that this was the closest I would get to telling him I loved him, I wanted him, and would be forever denied. It came out in my music and my eyes drifted open to see him standing there with his eyes on me, those beautiful blue eyes that conveyed every emotion and I knew he was playing this last part for me. It was no declaration of love, just his friendship that would go on and on and I would be there in his heart.

Then the clapping began. I heard more than two sets of hands, thinking Nigel would have stayed to hear. My eyes narrowed and I set down my trumpet and rushed Hector, picked him up and slammed him onto the bed. “You are in trouble. I know you did this all on purpose and now you will pay!” My drama lessons were in full swing as I tickled him. He shrieked like a cat being strung onto a violin and played while still alive. He could not fight me off and I mercilessly took advantage of that just to have my hands on him. When I tickled his stomach I encountered rock hard abs and my own stomach flipped. YUM!

“Peace! Truce! Pacem! Pax! HEEEEEELLLLLLLP!” I let him up and he was laughing so hard he could not even sit up. “I think I wet your bed.” I laughed and pulled him to his feet.

“You are an ass, Hector, and I will never, never forgive you for doing this to me.” I was faking that I was crying from mortification and he just rolled his eyes. I could not keep it up and grinned at him. Then I spun to see who was here. I ran over and scooped up Meg who screamed her fool head off. “Hey beautiful! I'm sorry you had to listen to that horrid playing.” I set her down and kissed her cheek.

“It was gorgeous the way you two just fit together. You were so lovely to hear.”

“I know I was, I was talking about Hector.” She snickered and slapped my shoulder. I gave a hug to Chelsey and Kelly her roommates and saw there were three guys I had never met. Well, one I had seen at the Story. It was Meg's brother. Looked just like his sister, which meant he was beautiful and not even in a masculine way. He was her twin except for the plumbing. “Greg, what's up?”

“Nothing, wondering why you're manhandling my sister and hugging my girlfriend.” He was not seriously jealous but Kelly looked at him like he was being a jerk.

“Well, I haven't seen Meg and the girls in a while, and you have nothing to worry about me trying to take your girlfriend from you. Lovely,” I said with a sigh that turned into a snort, “but not my type.” I was introduced to Jordan, Chelsey's boyfriend, who was one pocket protector away from being a husky nerd. Thick glasses, tie and white shirt, gray slacks that showed more ankle and those ugly brown penny loafers. Dark brown almost black hair and blue green eyes he could pass for a Superman wanna be. There was something not right here though. The clothes did not fit the laid back manner or the fact that they did not hide his broad shoulders. “Nice costume, Jordan Kent, but where is the real man behind the mask.” Meg laughed at Chelsey's glower.

“Chels said you wouldn't see through it, Meg bet her a hundred that you would.” He took off the glasses and the rest of the get up to show he was wearing a football jersey from Chico State.

“Nice. Thanks for the vote of confidence, love.” Meg giggled as her roommate handed over the cash.

“This is Caleb, my boyfriend.” The last guy was theater major through and through. Lean, an inch shorter than me, multicolored spiky hair done in red, purple and black, eye liner and the rest of the neo goth get up.

I looked him up and down. This was the real him and I found it nice to see he was comfortable with himself. “Have you given him the speech Greg?”

“Meg forbid it.” Which did not sit well with him either.

“Good thing I'm here then, the secret brother.” I put my arm around his shoulders and separated him form her. “Look at me, look at me,” I said quickly using my fingers to show his eyes should be on mine. “Do you see that little girl over there?” I pointed to her and he nodded. “That's my only little girl. She's my life. So if you have any ideas about kissing or hugging just remember this.” I paused for dramatic effect, popping my knuckles and neck. “I'm the son of a Senator and have no problem getting lawyers when I'm sent back to prison. K?” I tapped the end of his nose with my finger and wrinkled my own nose as I grinned. Thank you Bill Engvall and Blue Collar Comedy Tour for that bit of snark. He looked actually scared, no acting at all. Meg punched me in the shoulder. “Abuse! Help! Amazonian PMS attack!” I ran over and hid behind the largest object in the room next to my bed. “Hide me Sarah!” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders in a hug.

“You are an idiot.”

Caleb was still looking shaken. “Caleb, I was joking. I've never been to prison, thanks to those lawyers,” I added as an after thought. “And Meg would have my balls in a blender and hitting frappé and I like my balls thank you very much.”

“Quit it you big Neanderthal. He's not used to dealing with guys with arms bigger than their IQ.”

“Hey! Me no like tone of voice! Ugh!” I grunted and beat my chest which dispelled the tension in the room with a laugh. I spun back to Hector. “And you, Judas, could have warned me you were coming by early so I would not embarrass myself.” I was not really angry and he knew it.

“Could have, but I did not know we were having more company until they showed up on my doorstep as we were getting into the car to go pick up some last minute make-up needs for the play.” I nodded. Not his fault...entirely.

“Okay, so I blame Greg, Caleb, and Jordan since it is never the woman's fault.” I said it so dead pan and bland that the girls just rolled their eyes and the guys did not whether to cheer for me being the good guy friend or boo me for saying it was their fault. “Since the trumpet playing is now over...”

“Could you play us a few more?” asked Sarah using the ultimate weapon. She looked ready to cry if I did not and she was a good enough actress to squeeze out the tears too.

“Dirty pool,” I said in a British accent. “Have it your way Professor Girliarity, but only if Hector plays along too. If I'm going to publicly humiliate myself I am taking someone down with me,” I said going a bit more Stewy Griffin. All the girls turned the same “do it or die glare” on Hector who hid behind me, his hands on my shoulder blades and head resting against my spine. Meg's eyes grew wide as mine did. I could feel the heat from his body through the shirt I was wearing and it wiped all thoughts from my mind. Caleb leaned to whisper in Meg's ear who shot me a look of question. There was only one thing she would ask me for permission to say and I thought quickly and nodded but flicked my eyes back and shook my head. She whispered back and he nodded with a smile on his face. He was far more comfortable with me now for some reason. I spun and picked Hector up in my arms. “Who wants to torture him while he is captivated by my muscles?” He was too. His eyes were glued to my biceps which were standing out at that moment.

“Uncle!” he cried before they could actually do anything. “Fine, I'll play!” I set him down and steadied him to make sure he would not tip over. “I knew you were strong, but wow.” He could not help but poke once at the muscles, and while it did flip my stomach and make my heart bounce, I just rolled my eyes.

“Compared to tossing Kai around the field you are easy, my friend.” I picked up my trumpet and thought about what song to play. It came to me when I looked at Hector. I began a mellow rendition of Carol King's “You've Got a Friend” and threw in some jazzy runs. I kept it the same so Hector could join in on the chorus for some nice harmonies and gave him the second verse lead. It was soul fulfilling to just play music with him and for my friends. Our eyes were locked during the entire piece and everyone but us could see what we wanted to say but were too scared to.

When that one finished Meg asked to hear a song. “Requests? Do we take requests, Hector?”

“I don't know. If it's Britney Spears I absolutely refuse. Even I'm not that gay.” I thought about it. No, he was gay, but he was no flamer. It was one thing I liked about him. He did not have to be the stereotypical gay guy with the lisp and broken wrists, and he did not think he was a woman in a man's body. He was just him. “What song, Meg?”

“'Look Heart, no Hands' by Randy Travis.”

“Obscure much?” I quipped and she nodded. “Feel lucky, because Seth loves country and I actually know that one.” Hector chuckled. It was not much of a song for a trumpet and a flute, but it was still a good song. “Key of C, Hector?” He nodded. One thing about country music that I liked was its simplicity. No tricks, no odd chords, just nice musical lines easy to play and nice if you were in the mood. The song was a love song and I could not help but look at Hector while we played. Another song came our way from Sarah. And I was wondering if they were trying to set the two of us up. She chose the Beach Boys song “God Only Knows.” After that came “I Don't Know How To Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar. By this time I knew what the girls were trying to do and I wondered if Hector saw it. The last song was “On My Own” from Les Miserable. All the songs were love songs and ones the girls listened to all the time. I knew Sarah liked Beach Boys, Meg liked country and Chelsey liked show tunes. It was not odd for them to ask for these, but I saw through their little game. I played them and once I figured out their game I played the song to the one that requested it as if I was actually feeling that way about them.

The final performance went off without a hitch and we got a standing ovation. I felt an obscene amount of pleasure being up there and looking down at all of the people there to see our performance. I felt a rush that I would have never felt if my counselor had not told me I needed these credits. This was better than football, better than the best sex I had ever had, better than earning high marks in school. This was where I belonged. I had friends who liked me for something that had nothing to do with popularity, something I worked very hard at achieving and not just handed to me or born into me. My father, of course, could not come. Too busy, which was fine with me...mostly.

One surprise guest was Matt! Sarah had told him about the play and he had taken a week off from work and asked his cousin to watch the grandparents so he could be here. When he burst into the green room Hector about squealed with glee and ran over to give him a hug. I felt a small twinge again at seeing them together, but I was also glad to see him again. “God I missed you!” Hector exclaimed with the biggest smile on his face.

“Ditto. You were so evil! Fabulous.” Hector's smile was as big as the moon and as bright as the sun. “And Justice? In drama?” I gave him a rough hug that popped his back. “Help! He's trying to kill me with kindness.” I laughed and let him down. “Sup bro! You were...good. I am more surprised by that than Hector being evil. How have you guys been?”

“Great! We finally patched things up and Hector was the main reason I actually did as good as I did. Everyone pitched in and helped drill all those lines into my head, but he was the main one.” Matt looked from me to Hector and had a quirky look in his eyes.

“Finally! That is better news than the play. Did I read the playbill right? You choreographed the fight scenes?” I nodded with a small blush. “Nice. I would have thought Hector would slip and hit someone in the eye with the spin move.” I looked at Hector who was looking anywhere but at me and trying not to turn beet red and trying to sink into the floor. “He didn't!”

“Right there,” I said pointing to my eye and then told him the story.

“You are such a klutz.” Hector was grinning, in too good of a mood to be angry at us. “Well, you guys finish taking off your clothes...yummy...and I'll see you at the cast party.” He left to go see Sarah.

Hector sighed and shook his head. “Still love him?” I asked.

“Always, but not as much as we both wanted me to.” I understood how that could be a strain on a relationship. “We parted on good terms and are still friends, but I hope he finds someone who can love him the way he deserves.” I patted his shoulder. “But tonight is a night for celebration, my friend. Let's get to that party.”

When he turned away I realized something and it scared me. What if Hector found someone while I was too chicken shit to tell him? I could lose every chance at being there the way my heart wanted. Seeing him with Matt had made me realize he was only single because he had not found anyone to get serious with. I might lose him tonight! I was wiping off the make-up with a purpose. I would get him alone somehow and tell him. No more chickening out. It was now or never, I knew that.

The after-party was held at the local pizza parlor and was paid for by the ticket sales. Good thing too because I had worked up an appetite and needed to replace the twenty gallons of sweat I lost because of nerves. I was on my tenth piece of pizza when they decided to embarrass me more. “Each semester we hand out the award for most improved actor and actress.” I started turning beet red, knowing where this was going. “It is no surprise that Justice has the most improved actor award this time.” The teacher motioned me to the head of the long table. I went with as much dignity as I could, but I was grinning like an idiot. The award was an actual plaque and it had my name on it.

They called for a speech. “Four whores and seven queers ago,” it got the laugh I wanted. “Seriously guys. This means more to me than any of my stupid football trophies. I would not even have it were not for each of you. You guys helped me so much. With my lines, my skills. You guys are the best group a guy could hope for as friends.” They clapped as I sat back down next to Hector who patted me on the back. “Especially you.”

“Oh, you do love me!” he said batting his eyelashes.

“Don't push your luck.” I wanted to nod and tell him right then that I did, but...I scarfed down another six slices and slammed back four more Cokes before I was finally full. Of course by then the parlor was closing, so I wrapped up my share of the leftovers and went out to my car. Matt was staying with Sarah for the week and we made plans for tomorrow to get together.

As I unlocked my car Hector pulled up on his bike. “Hey, Justice, what time do you want to rehearse the skit for next week?” I found my opening!Thank you Fate!

“You got anything to do tonight? I'm so caffeinated right now I won't sleep. We could use my dorm room.” Please say yes!

“Are you sure? I mean...I would most likely be sleeping over and your neighbors will talk.”

“True, but I don't care. I mean Kai is cool and the other guy is a Liberal Arts major. You're my friend who just happens to like dick.” He laughed.

“Since you put it so nicely. I'll meet you there.”

It was only when I started my car that I realized just how comfortable I had become with Hector and what I was planning on doing. I would have never even thought to offer even at the beginning of the semester, but we had become very good friends in the months of our shared class that I knew he would not try to seduce me in my sleep or any other ridiculous thing like that. I might be scared off; even I did not know what I would do when confronted with something like that. I smiled to myself and I would have paid good money to see my father's reaction when he found out I slept in the same room alone with a gay man. I hope he would have a heart attack.

I unlocked my door and flipped on the light. “Just set you stuff on the chair.” I motioned to the desk and tossed my stuff on there as well. I flopped onto my bed. “God, what a night.” I was drained emotionally but keyed up from the caffeine and the high off the applause.

“Tell me about it. You were great.”

“I messed up two lines.” I had but I had ad libbed them to lead back to the right cues.

“No one but us knew. That, my friend, is the key to the stage. If you mess up cover it.” I rolled over and sat up. “Seriously. I, of course, was flawless.” Not even acting or embellishing. He had given a flawless performance.

“And I hate you for it, Primo Womo. Acting comes so easily for you.”

“And look at you and football. You are pure grace on the field. I could watch you throw that stupid ball just to see what an athlete is supposed to be.”

“Thanks. Creepy, much, but thanks.” I had never seen him in the stands, but then I had never looked. Wait, he was in the pep band, of course he would be there. Had been for the three years I had known him. Strange that I had never thought about how often we were in the same place for roughly the same reasons and I never encountered him. “You know, I feel that you ditched me all those years.”

“I did. I never wanted to be anywhere where Steven and his cronies would be.” I noted that he had not included me in that. Yes, I hung out with them, but I was not a crony. “Still did not stop me from admiring that forty-three yard pass senior year.”

“That was nice, huh? So, do you want to start from the beginning?” I was stalling, putting off the rejection I feared would happen. He nodded and we placed ourselves where we would be on the stage. He sat on the bed, which was the couch, and I was at the door, just entering. “Hey, babe, I'm home.” I crossed to get a hug and dropped off an imaginary coat.

“How was Topeka?” he asked changing an off stage TV channel.

“Boring. I don't understand why they send me on these errands. They could send Jimmy from the mail room and he would do just as well.” I plopped down next to him on the bed and put my arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. He fit nicely there too. I hoped he did not feel my heart pounding to get out of my chest.

“Probably, but you do get the best results. What good is a business without the heavy?” My role was supposed to be some corporate take over specialist.

“I know and I'm the best weapon they have for corporate leverage, but I hate leaving you for so long.” He smiled and snuggled a bit closer. He smelled of Old Spice aftershave and that scent that was all him, a mellow musk that always made me want to just hold him.

“I always miss you when you're gone. Oh, I got some good news.” He got up and got an imaginary envelope. “This came in the mail yesterday.”

I opened it and read the fake letter. “Is this real?” My voice carried the joy of good news. “Babe this is fabulous! It's about time they appreciated your hard work with the Salvation Army. Your own branch is great.” I gave him another hug.

“Yeah...but it comes with a barb.” I looked concerned. “The branch is in California. I would have to move there.”

I stood and took a few steps before turning back. “Is this what you want?” I asked holding the paper up.

“Yeah,” he said after a moment, “it is.” He looked away and then back.

“Then when do we move?” I had not even hesitated.

“What? You want to go with me?” He sounded honestly shocked. He was so much better than me.

“Yeah. I can get transferred to the San Francisco branch of the company and if not I'll quit and find a new job there. I just want to be with you wherever you are.” He smiled and stood and wrapped his arms around my neck.

“I love you.” He seemed so sincere.

“I love you too.” Alone, in my room, it came across with all the feeling I had left unsaid. We initiated the stage kiss, but something happened. We were looking into each others eyes and I know I saw something I had not before. Something that made that last line come into focus. Something that I wanted to see there. I went for it. Our lips met, soft and unsure, but they met. It was nothing like a Hollywood kiss, nothing like the snogging I had seen on stage. It was sweet and filled me with a feeling I could only describe as warmth in my soul. He was kissing me back!

He pulled away and took a step back. “I am so sorry, Justice. I did not mean to do that.” His face was beet red and I could almost see him berating himself for doing it. He grabbed his things and was headed for the door. “I should not have done that.”

“Where are you going?” He looked at me. “Seriously. You don't need to leave. So we kissed.” I touched my lips and smiled shyly at him. “I have to say it was nothing like I thought it would be.” He gave me that look again. “Hey, it was nothing to get upset about.” I took his stuff and put it back on the chair.

“You...we...huh...what just happened?” He was so confused right then that I wanted to kiss him again...and again and again.

“I did not freak out when we kissed. Yes, we.” He still looked confused so I felt I had to explain a bit. “I don't know, it just felt right.” I went and sat down on the bed and looked at my feet. “I liked it, Hector.” I looked back at him. “It was nice. More than nice.”

He edged towards me and sat down. “You aren't mad? I know that this is really weird for you.”

“That's the funny thing, Hector, it was not weird at all.” I smiled to let him know I was serious. “I have never wanted to kiss anyone before, but at that moment I wanted nothing more. Hell I've wanted to for a few months. I've been trying to get up the nerve to do it for a while.” He blushed and smiled. He really was attractive especially when he smiled. “Did I read the situation wrong?” I asked him.

“No. God you read it perfectly. I've wanted to do that for a few weeks now, but...Wait. Months? You've wanted to, to kiss me for...Since when?” he sputtered out. He was flabbergasted.

“When you were still with Matt. The fourth day after I found out about you two.” He looked like he felt so stupid. Like he should have seen it all along and I think that all my words and actions came crashing home.

“And those Valentine flowers were from you.” I nodded. I'm glad he figured it out on his own. “So I really hurt you when we were at the lake and after. No wonder you said ...”

I placed my finger on his lips. “All that is in the past. I understand why you did not try before. You did not want to drive me away. I'm glad you waited.” I took his hand and just held it while I looked into his eyes, trying to let him know that I was okay. Our lips met again, this time with a bit more confidence and just as much feeling. My hand slid to his cheek and we eased onto our side on the bed. It was so nice, it was perfect. It was...right, to be there like that with him. I propped myself on one elbow and looked down at him. “You know, for a guy who's never really kissed you're good.”

“Me? Do you know what it is like to fake a kiss with a guy you have a crush on? You do, don't you?” I nodded my head. “It bites.” I smiled and gave him a small peck before I got up. “Where are you going?”

“I'm a firm believer in the just do it method of life.” I pulled my shirt over my head and watched his pupils dilate. He had never seen me shirtless as far as I knew and he quite obviously liked what he saw. I was in the best shape of my life and it seemed that he approved of my physique as well. His eyes slid up and down my chest and abs, across my shoulders and arms and finally back to my face.

“You really are evil.” I tilted my head in question as I took off my shoes. “If you knew what was in my mind right now you would probably puke.”

“I doubt it.” I undid the button and zipper on my pants and slid them off. I was wearing a pair of bikini underwear that I was fond off and kept things in place when I had to do the little bit of dancing in the play. I did not want to wear a jock strap under my costume so this was the next best thing.

His eyes were filled with a hunger that I knew very well and he was feasting on the sight of my body. He devoured the sight of me and found he was still hungry for the feel of my body against his. “Are you teasing me? If so I will probably kill you.”

I stretched out next to him again and brushed away a strand of his long hair from his face. “Do you think I'm teasing?” I slid my hand down his chest. He was by no means muscular, not even all that lithe, but I could feel a very nice set of abs under that shirt. It was always my favorite part of the body. For me nothing beats a defined set of abs. His hand began to caress my chest. The touch was feather light but as potent as the strongest wine. He traced the gap between my pecs and underneath to feel my lats and then around to my back to toy with the nape of my neck. I quivered a bit as he ran his hands through my hair. I pulled his shirt over his head and looked down at his tanned body. I stay milky year round, but Hector had a glowing tan. He was not afraid to take his shirt off, and I liked that, the confidence to be himself no matter what anyone thought. “Still think I'd puke? Or that I'm teasing you.”

“No, but I wonder when I'm going to wake up from this dream.” I smiled and kissed him while our hands did some exploring. I will say this, having had both men and women feeling me up, men are much better. His touch was soft but firm, like he knew when to be gentle and when to be rough. My hand slipped around and traced his spine down to his ass. I had never noticed how round it was. For someone so lanky he had a big bubble butt and it fit nicely into my hands. It was that round bottom that gave him those hips and that sway in his walk. It was firm too, not flabby like some booties I had felt. “How far is this going to go?”

“Honestly? If it does not happen tonight, I may chicken out the next time.” He smiled at my words. I had said there would be a next time, which was what he wanted to hear. He straddled me for a moment and his eyes went wide when he felt the fact that I was very much aroused. Not that I'm very long, but I'm thick and it shows when I've got a hard on. He looked me in the eyes and I could see what had flickered across his mind. He was right, what was in his mind did make me feel something in my stomach but it was butterflies rather than nausea. Then he got off of me and removed his own shoes and pants. I expected any type of underwear. Nope, he did not wear them and I could see why. “I hate you,” I said. God he was long. I had seen guys like that and wondered if it was just a show-er.

“I do not want to hear it.”

“I just feel insufficient.” I was mostly joking, but if I had the length to go with the girth I could have been a porn star. But seeing as I was just average in length I could not be in porn...which I would have been good at. I could not seem to take my eyes off his body. It was a uniform healthy tan. He sunbathed in the nude. That was so sexy. “I have never wanted to see a guy naked as much as right now.” I stood and crossed the space between us, my bikinis somehow winding up on the other side of the room. He looked down and I could tell he was surprised and turned on because that long thing between his legs was getting longer. My hands traced along his abs and then around his narrow waist to rest on those round cheeks. I had never been much of an ass man until now. His ass was just so perfect that I did not want to take my hands off it except to possibly trace the muscles of his abs. Both of us were breathing heavily.

“I could never have dreamed you would be here with me like this.” We kissed again. Our kisses were not fiery, but they were passionate, that slowly building passion that could explode at any time into something almost animalistic. His hands moved across my back and down to my own cheeks. Our pelvises were touching and it felt like there was two feet of Hector stretching from his groin to my chin. “Let me know if I'm going too fast.” I nodded as his hand snaked around and wrapped around my dick. His hands were hot and the heat seared me to my core. His fingers could not reach all the way around but it was the closest anyone had ever come. My brain was aflame and I knew then that I would be going all the way tonight. I would not stop until I knew what it was like to be with a man, with this man.

I kissed along his jaw and over to his ear and whispered, “If you go any slower I'm going to shoot off in your hand.” He had somehow matched the pace that I used to get myself off when I was wanting to just get it over with. My voice sent shivers down his side, I know because it always did when I whispered in someone's ear. He pulled back to look at me.

“Are you sure?”

“If you don't go faster, I will.” I looked down at close to eleven inches and I was surprised their were no veins. My hand stroked along his side and slid to enfold him. His eyes rolled back and I knew if he gave me one stroke I would be done. The skin was velvety soft and despite that it could not stand fully erect it was hard as my own. He was too long to stand erect, it was just on the up side of horizontal. The head was a paler tan-pink and round rather than mushroom shaped like my own. I stroked up from the base and he shuddered. His eyes fluttered closed and his jaw worked soundlessly for a moment.

“Justice...” he breathed huskily. I knew what he meant. Both of us were so hair triggered then that unless we took a breather we would not last more than a few seconds. We both let go and stepped back. I noticed again that he seemed to have more hips than most guys, but that was from his bubble butt. At that moment his blue eyes were almost violet and he looked one word away from jumping on me and doing things Torri would balk at. I wanted him to do it, but I did not know what that word was. The breather lasted only a few seconds and I made my mind up which one of us was getting off first and sat on the bed and motioned him over.

He came over and went to straddle my hips. “Not yet.” His look of confusion was blasted off his face as I took him in my mouth. I had never sucked a dick, never thought about it until that night, but I had gotten more than my fair share of them so I knew vaguely what to do. I ran my tongue up and around the head, feeling him quivering. One hand cupped his cheek while the other massaged his balls which were pulled up tight telling me he was getting close. The taste was not unpleasant, but it was unusual. I could smell the scent of sweat from that night mixed with an almost tangy taste like sweet and sour sauce. I slid my mouth down until I could take no more and gagged a bit. As I pulled back I said, “I have dreamed of doing this to you, and it is better than any dream I ever had.” I slid my mouth back down while my hand slipped between his thighs to rub that area commonly referred to as the Taint, cause it ain't the ass and it ain't the front.

Hector was almost riding my hand while I sucked his dick and as he gasped out my name I knew he was about to cum in my mouth. I wanted to know everything. His knees wobbled as the first blast shot into my throat. The taste was that same sweet and sour tang but only better. Hector kept shooting until I had no choice to swallow or spit it out. In for a dollar...I swallowed. When he was done he almost collapsed next to me and looked at me with such thunderstruck awe that I was not surprised when he asked “Are you sure you've never done that before?”

“Never. You taste good.” He laughed weakly. I stretched out next to him again and he laid his head on my shoulder and was toying with my chest.

“God, it's never been that good. Ever.”

I made a stab in the dark. “Did you ever have feelings for the others?” He shook his head. “There you go. It was not that I was good, it was just me.” He looked up at me. “Hey if I can admit that I care for you more than any woman I've ever been with then you can do the same.”

“You care for me?” His voice was so weak with hope that he had not misunderstood. “This isn't just some strange experimental thing?”

“Yeah. I do.” I was just as surprised as he was and it showed in my tone.

He chuckled. “Never saw this one coming, did you?”

“Not in a million years.” We kissed and shared a laugh. “I have been so scared to tell you, to take that last step. Afraid you would turn me down.”

“What made you do it tonight?”

“I saw you with Matt and knew that if I did not tell you I may lose my chance and I would regret that more than being turned down.”

He smiled sweetly. “Turned down? Justice, even when I hated you I thought you were one of the sexiest men in the world. I would have never turned you down.”

“For a relationship?”

“Then, no, there would not have been a relationship. In that you were wise to wait as hard as it had been on your heart.” Hector looked down at my body and noticed I had not gotten any softer. “Is he always like that?”

“Until he's done, yep.” He raised a brow and began to kiss down my chest. I knew what was going to happen but it did not register in my brain until his mouth was around me. I squeezed my eyes shut to ward off the fact that he was the best I had ever had. All feelings aside he did things that no woman had ever done. He could take all but the very base in his mouth, a feat no woman had done, and I began to breathe quickly and grabbed the bedding in a white knuckled grip so I did not grab that long hair. Never in my life had a blow job been this good, this fulfilling. It was not just a physical thing. This was the man I loved doing this and that amplified the feeling tenfold. When his tongue slipped down and began to swab my balls at the same time he was deep throating me I lost control. Spots swam before my eyes and exploded in my head even as I exploded in his mouth. I could not have stopped myself even if I had wanted to. It was the most powerful orgasm I had ever had and I was glad that I was laying down or I would have fallen.

When I was done he looked up at me from behind a screen of that long blond hair and I could swear he had the biggest grin. “Were you trying to kill me? No one has ever done that.” He slipped back up beside me and I pulled him in for a kiss. We both knew it would happen as we open our mouths for a little tongue. The taste of him mingled with me was better than any aphrodisiac I had heard of. I wrapped my arms around him and we lay there for a few minutes just being close. I had never been one for cuddling after sex, but I had never wanted them to stay around. Tonight was simply a night for firsts. We both were doing our amateur best to make the kisses as good as we could.

“Justice?” Hector asked tentatively.

“Hmm?” I was drained and whatever caffeine high I had was gone. I'm not very eloquent when I'm tired.

“What does this mean? Between you and me. Us.”

I had not thought that far ahead, but what popped out was what I felt. “Us sound nice.”

“Really? You're okay with that?” I nodded. I was just as surprised as he sounded, but I honestly wanted this. I had wanted it for a while and I was not going to let it pass me by. “Openly or discrete?”

“Anyone who knows us will know, and they'll guess when I kiss you on stage.”

“No fake kisses?” Again I shook my head. “So we don't hide it but proceed with decorum.”

“What you said.” He laughed.

“Are you one of those sleep right after sex guys?”

“Not normally. I am so damned drained from one helluva day.” He snuggled closer but then pulled away to get up. “Where ya goin'?”

“Shower. You should take one too.” I groaned but rolled out of bed to do it. I tossed him a towel as he pulled on his pants. I just wrapped my towel around my waist as I always did and grabbed all the necessities.

I took a quick one only because I was too tired to stand there. Mostly it was just to get the rest of the stage make-up off my face and the sweat from my regions. Once back in the room I pulled on my sleeping shorts and fell into bed. I was smiling as I thought about how it was finally coming true. I actually loved someone and he seemed to love me back. He kissed me which meant that he did. I was nearly asleep when voices in the hall woke me fully up. “What the hell are you doing sissy boy?”

“Go fuck yourself, Steven.” I was up and pulling on my pants in seconds. This would get very ugly and it was after one AM.

“No, that is what the women are for. You should try it some time.” I opened the door to see them just outside the shower room. No one had poked their head out yet.

“Really? You let them fuck you? Do they use dildos or vegetables?”

I came over looking about as angry as I felt. Mostly I was trying to not laugh at the sputtering idiot Steven had become. “Do you mind? It is too damn early for this.”

“See, sissy boy, my bro agrees with me.” He looked so smug that I wanted to slap the shit out of him.

“Actually I was talking to you, Steven. Hector was at least whispering. By the way, leave him alone from now on. He's off limits.” Hector looked at me with that look again.

“What the fuck, Justice. You his friend now?” Steven was looking like he was giving birth to a porcupine.

“Actually yes. He's a good friend now. Helped me pass drama even after the shit we put him through. He at least sees that I'm not the little punk I was in high school.”

“Going queer on us, Justice?”

“Queer means peculiar or abnormal. If not being like you makes me queer then yes. I'd rather be queer than a fucking prick who only picks on people because he has a fucked up home life. C'mon, Hector, lets finish our lines for next week. I mean it Steven, leave him alone or I will seriously flip out and you know how I get when I'm angry.” We turned and went into my room. Once the door was shut I sagged against the door.

“You are the bravest, sweetest guy ever. Facing down that asshat like that.” He gave me a kiss and helped me up. “I have never seen him looked so out of sorts.”

“I know how to get his goat. Nice comeback with the veggie comment.” He bowed. “But I think both of us should avoid him if we can.” Hector nodded and hung up his towel. I stripped again and locked the door in case Steven felt like being an asshole. The lock was one of those heavy bars that no one would get past unless they wanted to really, really get in. I had a very expensive stereo and computer that I wanted to keep. The bar was to keep out thieves, but I guess it would keep out asshole ex-friends. I climbed into bed and held the covers open for Hector who smiled and got in. “You smell good.” I wrapped my arms around him and found it to be the best fit of anyone I had ever spooned. It was just so comfortable for me having his head resting half on the pillow and half on my shoulder.

“You have great taste in body wash and shampoo.”

“I know. Are you glad this happened?” I had to ask, I had to know.

“Yeah. I've been wanting this for a while myself. I think I've wanted it as far back as when Matt and I were together.” He yawned and snuggled closer. So I was the reason they did not last longer...cool. We drifted off to sleep.