The Root Beer Boys, Part Two - 11. Chapter 11

Brian's Diary

March
Wow, diary, you wouldn't believe this past two months if you were real. I - AM - IN - LOVE! There is so much to put in here, I'll be writing for a week.

Tanner is living with us now. And we're in love. He loves ME! And I love him! Of course, you already knew that, 'cause you're only me anyway. But it's fun to see it in writing. I love Tanner and Tanner loves me! Oh, that looks so kewl!

Anyway, Tanner is here, Mom is still the most awesome mom in the world, even more awesome than I thought she was last month, and life is wonderful. Well, pretty wonderful anyway. But it was tough getting here.

February was the month from Hell. Tanner's mom broke both his wrists with a baseball bat, and he almost bled to death walking over here from his house with a big cut on his leg. He was in surgery for four hours and almost died. Mom talked the hospital into taking a pint of my blood when they found out we were such a good match. Can you believe that, diary? Even our blood matches. We were MEANT for each other.

I guess I should slow down and really tell you what happened. It'll make more sense to me later, and I don't want to miss any of the details in case I get sometimer's disease later. You know what that is diary. It's people who sometimes remember and sometimes forget.

So, here it is. I woke up one morning early in February when I heard someone banging on our front door. I thought whoever it was must have been drunk and at the wrong house, 'cause it sounded like they were kicking the door with their feet. But when I opened the front door, there was Tanner lying on the stoop, out cold against the storm door. When I turned on the porch light, I could see blood all over the place.

"MOM!" I screamed as loud as I could. "COME QUICK! SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO TANNER!"

I couldn't get out the front door, so I had to run out the back and around the house. When I finally got to him and started to move him away from the door, I saw his hands hanging funny on his arms, and his wrists were all swollen and ugly looking. Mom called the ambulance, and we rushed him to the hospital. Mom told them he was my brother so she wouldn't have to worry about consent and insurance and all that stuff. There was no way he could tell us how to get in touch with his mom, and he never had given me his address or phone number.

Anyway, when he came out of surgery, he had casts on both hands from fingertips to elbows. The poor guy could hardly scratch his nose. The doctor wanted us to call visiting nurses or something, but I said to heck with that. I could take care of him myself. Besides, I needed to know how he felt about me, and I thought maybe this would be a way of finding out.

So for four weeks I did everything for him. When he told us what had happened, I thought my mom was going to blow a cork. I never saw her so mad before. Her face got so red I thought she was going to have a stroke or something. Anyway, she had me pick up his assignments at school and she tutored him in the evenings. I got to wait on him hand and foot for weeks. At first, I thought it was going to be wonderful. I thought I'd get to see his goodies and play with them and all that stuff. But it didn't work out that way.

I fed him, helped him put his clothes on and take them off. I had to wipe his butt after he took a dump, pull his pants down and back up when he had to piss and wash him all over when he needed a shower or a bath. All those times when he was naked or mostly naked, I was so embarrassed I couldn't look at him. I sure wanted to, but I was afraid. I was afraid I'd be tempted to take advantage of him. Sure, we both knew the other was gay, but I didn't know if he liked me enough to do stuff with me. Four weeks and I never saw his goodies. Oh I saw his bare butt some when I bathed him. But I always looked away or shut my eyes when I was washing his crotch. And I made sure I used a washcloth, too. I never touched him with my bare hands. I couldn't. I was afraid I'd get a boner and cum all over him if I even touched him.

February was pure hell because of that. I was too shy and nervous to tell him how I felt. I loved him so much and was afraid I'd lose him if I told him that. And he never gave me a clear signal of how he felt. He never asked me to look at him or touch him or wash him with my bare hands. He never flaunted himself at me when he was naked, and he never tried to see me naked. It was like we were both bending over backwards not to embarrass the other guy.

So every night after I got him ready for bed, I'd go in my room and beat off. It never occurred to me that he might know what I was doing. I knew both of our bathroom doors were open so I could hear him if he needed help in the night, but I guess I just assumed he'd go right to sleep. So I'd go to my room, strip to my shorts, slip under the sheet and take care of business. I always tried to be careful not to make too much noise, but I sure wasn't thinking about Tanner.

Oh I was thinking about HIM alright. I was thinking about what his body might look like under his shorts. I was thinking about what it might be like to kiss him, suck his tongue, play with his goodies. But I wasn't thinking about whether he was doing the same thing I was doing. I guess I was pretty insensitive about that, 'cause one night about the middle of March it all came to a head.

I was lying there in my bed beatin' off when all of a sudden Tanner yelled at me.

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP DOING THAT?!"

He about scared the shit outta me, diary. I was really gettin' into what I was doing and could feel a climax building when he yelled at me. My little Tommy Tall started to deflate right away. Tanner sounded really upset, and it worried me. I just laid there for a minute or two asking myself questions like how had he known what I was doing? Could he see what I was doing? How was I going to face him?

Eventually I got up and went into his room to see what was up. I guess I really had been an asshole about this, but it turned out for the good. Tanner told me he had been watching me and listening to me take care of things for four weeks! Then he reminded me he couldn't do the same for himself. It hadn't dawned on me that he couldn't beat off with his hands in those casts. I guess I just wasn't thinking about it.

I called him my buddy and he came back with some joke about us not being buddies cause buddies sleep together. For some reason, I got real choked up by what he said. Or maybe it was how he said it, with a real sad sound to his voice. Anyway, before I could stop myself, I told him I'd like us to be buddies.

I forgot to tell you he was crying, diary. It had been so long since he'd had an orgasm he was all tied up in knots. And when I realized how mean I'd been, I started crying too. So I was kinda sniffling when I told him I'd like to be buddies. Then I offered to take care of him, you know, jack him off. I was real nervous offering, 'cause I was afraid he wouldn't want me to, or he'd be too embarrassed to let me do that for him. Boy was I relieved when he said yes.

So I slid off his bed and slipped my hand up under the sheet. I was really kind of nervous as I reached my hand up to his crotch. I thought I'd have to dig around in his boxers or pajama bottoms to find him, but he was naked! My hand landed right on his hardon. Boy was he hard! It felt so good it almost took my breath away. I wanted to stick my head under the covers so bad! But I couldn't even pull the covers back and look at him.

God, diary, it was so frustrating! I was so messed up in my mind. Here I finally had my hand on his dick and still didn't have the guts to pull the sheet back and watch what I was doing! My own hardon was pounding against the bedframe, too. But I was scared. I think I wanted him so bad I couldn't think straight. And he wasn't saying anything either. He didn't push the sheet back so we could see. He didn't ask me to look at him. He didn't ask me why I wasn't looking at him. I just laid my head on the bed facing away from him and cried with frustration as I stroked him to a climax.

When he came, it was so awesome! It felt like he must have pumped a whole month's worth of stuff all over the place. It sure was all over my hand. When he finally stopped cumming, I couldn't let go of his dick. I tried, but I couldn't. It just felt so good. And I was still crying, with frustration, with anger at myself for not being able to talk to him, tell him how I felt. Then I realized he was crying right along with me. I thank God for Tanner, though. For the second time that night, he found the courage to say something that tore down the barrier of fear that separated us.

"Why are you crying Tanner?" I asked him.

"You must hate me, Brian. I wish I were dead. I wish my mother had finished the job she started!"

"Tanner! Don't you dare say such that! How could you ever think I hate you?" I was crying so hard I could hardly speak. How could he say such a thing?!
"You never look at me! ...(sniff)... You never look at my body. When you wash me or wipe me you're always looking somewhere else, never at me. ...(cough)... You jerk your hand away in the movies, you don't hug me or hold me. You never offered to let me sleep in your bed, even when I first got here. ...(sob)... Even tonight, just now, ...(cough)... when you beat me off, you wouldn't look at me. Am I really that ugly to you?"

By this time the bed was shaking so hard I didn't know whose fault it was. He seemed to be crying as hard as me, and I tell ya, diary, I was almost uncontrollable. All the pent-up frustration and hidden desires just burst forth and poured out of me with my tears. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing when I jumped up and threw myself on top of him. I forced my hands and arms under his back and hugged him as hard as I could. And then I was smothering him with kisses, licking the snot off his face, lapping up his tears with my tongue and drowning him with my own. We continued to sob as we held and kissed each other. I couldn't keep my head still or my mouth still or my tongue still. He licked, I licked. He kissed, I kissed. He licked, I kissed. He kissed, I licked.

"Ugly? Ugly!? How could you ever think that I might think you're ugly? You're the most absolutely gorgeous boy in the world, Tanner! I've loved you since the first night you came over and introduced yourself to me. I've wanted to tell you but was afraid. I was afraid you didn't feel the same way about me, and I couldn't bear to hear it. So I didn't say anything either."

"Oh Bri. I've loved you that long too. That night when Andy said what he did about you makin' love to me with your eyes? I almost creamed my jeans when he said that. And I've loved you ever since. Why have we been so stupid, so scared of each other? I love you so much!"

As we calmed down, we continued to pour out our hearts to each other. He LOVES me, diary. He really does! And he has all along, just as I've loved him! I couldn't believe it. All that time we'd both been worrying about the same things. But finally, everything was OK between us. We knew that we were in love with each other. The relief I felt translated itself into a raging hardon which was throbbing against Tanner's hip. Pretty soon I slid my hand down across his chest and stomach and found he was hard again, too.

I asked him if he wanted another one, and he said only if I wanted one, too. Then I asked him if I could watch this time and he said only if he could watch, too. So I did him and then I did myself. It was great! Awesome! Wonderful! He is so hot! I think he came as much as I did even though he'd just done it a few minutes earlier. When I was done taking care of myself, I grabbed some tissues and cleaned us up. Then I pulled the sheet up and laid down beside him. We went to sleep with our noses practically touching each other, our arms draped across each other. It was the happiest night of my life up to then.

Late March
I had to take a break, diary, but I'm back. You wouldn't believe what's happened since I wrote in you last. Nobody else would believe it if I let them read this either, but what I'm about to tell you is TRUE!

When we woke up the next morning, we went to the bathroom together naked. But it wasn't like we'd been doing it for a long time. We were still a little embarrassed and shy, but when we got to the john, he stood there and let me hold his penis while he pissed instead of sitting down like he did before. It was so cool. Of course, he was hard by the time he was finished, so after I shook it for him, he turned around and slapped it against my thigh.

After our shower, we went to the kitchen for breakfast. We must have had some kind of goofy expressions on our faces when we got there, because Mom knew right away something was different. How did I know? Well, this is what she said.

"Well, I'm glad you boys finally got things resolved between you. From the looks on your faces I can guess that there won't be as many dirty sheets in the laundry in the future."

I could feel my face turning red even as I watched Tanner start to blush. Gosh it is so neat to have somebody else who blushes as easily as I do. And he is just soooo cute when he does. I love him, diary.

Then I remembered the sheets on his bed and what happened the night before.

"Right, Mom. But we'll take care of them this time. OK?" Wow, that was hard to say. Mom just nodded her head and didn't say anything. Thankfully.

After breakfast we went out and met the guys at the park. I guess it was a bit unusual, but Tanner had been wearing his casts for four or five weeks by this time and nobody had written anything on them. That's probably because Mom was still home schooling him so not too many people except the guys had seen him. Anyway, Aaron must have planned it, because he had some markers with him, and we all wrote our names and drew silly pictures and said silly things on his cast. Aaron even wrote something in Hebrew which none of us could read, of course. He told Tanner it said "Brian is mine, keep your hands off" but we weren't sure we could believe him. Tommy said it probably said something like "My mother wears baseball cleats to bed." Everybody laughed except me and Tanner. They didn't know yet.

A&W had some pecans their mom had given them to share with us, but they were still in shells. We were just about to give up getting them cracked open with our hands, feet or rocks when Tanner hit one of them with his cast and split it right open. So we all sat at one of the park tables and picked the meat out of the shells as Tanner cracked them all with his casts. By the time he was finished, they guys were all calling him the Nutcracker. After awhile I just looked at them and said, "not yet, he isn't" kinda softly, with a grin and a look at Tanner. He smiled back with one of his biggest grins.

Let me tell ya, diary, these guys are no dummies. A&W shouted almost in unison, "right on! Brian and Tanner have finally connected!" Then everybody was pounding us on our backs and congratulating us on being a couple. Tanner and I just sat there and turned seven shades of red. It was fun to be able to love another boy and not worry about how our friends were going to treat us. I guess Tanner and I really benefitted from A&W coming out last year.

Ya know, diary, maybe I'm wrong, but all the time we were clowning around like that, it seemed like Matthew was kinda holding back and looking at Tommy a lot. He was trying to hide it, but I noticed it cause he was acting a lot like I did when A&W came out to us. I wonder if he's gay and interested in Tommy. I don't think Tommy's gay, but I saw him blush once when he caught Matthew looking at him. I wonder...

Anyway, here's what I have to tell you. I think I wrote in here earlier that Mom had said she'd take care of things with Tanner's mother. Boy did she ever. This is so cool! TANNER LIVES WITH US NOW! ALL THE TIME! LIKE PERMANENTLY! WAHOO!

I'm just going to write it down here like Mom told us. I don't ever want to forget what she did. The night after Tanner and I did it that first time, Mom went out right after dinner. She wouldn't tell us where she was going, and that was really strange cause she always had before. So we just sat around and watched TV and hugged and kissed and said I love you a lot. Mom didn't get home until after 11:00 which was pretty late for her. And she had this kind of satisfied look on her face, almost like she was trying to hide a smile. But when I asked her what was up, she just said, "tomorrow will be soon enough, boys. Now get to bed so you'll be fresh for church in the morning. Tomorrow's going to be a great day." Then she couldn't hide her smile any longer.

So Tanner and I headed off to the bathroom to get our showers. Do I need to say here that showers are a lot more fun now? I don't think so. But they are. I can look all I want to. And Tanner does too. He looks good, diary. Even in March he still has this great tan everywhere but where his swimsuit was. All that white around his special places surrounded by all that light brown just makes his special places look that much cuter. I know you're just a diary, so you don't care, but when I'm 30, I want to know what we looked like at 15 so I'm gonna describe him here.

A lot of guys seem to think that muscles are important, that big hairy chests are exciting. That might be the way girls think, but it's not the way I think. Maybe that's because I'm not that way myself. I think I'd love Tanner no matter what he looked like, but I do love the way he looks. He's kinda small, like me. We're only about 6 months apart in age which probably explains why we're so much alike. But Aaron is about the same age, and he has hair all over him, lots of it. He has chest hair and leg hair and hair in his pits. But Tanner and I don't.

Tanner is as smooth as a baby's butt from his crotch to his forehead. He has this nice chest with decent muscle tone but not so much that his tits bulge out. His tummy's tight and he's an innie, like me. He isn't skinny, but he has just enough meat and muscle to hide his ribs. His legs are covered by this blond fuzz that's hard to see, and they're really well proportioned. And his feet are so cool. Lots of guys at school have ugly feet with funny toes or flaky skin or athlete's foot. But Tanner's feet are just perfect. And as pretty as his face is with those God-never-made-any-other-eyes-that-color blue eyes and those kissable rosy lips, his best features are right there between his thighs.

I mean it, diary, his jewels are beautiful. Is it because I'm gay and truly in love with him, or would he be as beautiful to anybody else who might get to see them? I don't know. But they are absolutely the most beautiful things in the world. His penis is maybe three inches long when it's soft, which isn't often, and maybe 3/4 of an inch thick. But when he's hard, it has to be about 5 inches long and an inch thick. I can hardly wait to taste it.

And he doesn't have a lot of hair yet, not like Andy and Aaron, especially Aaron. I wonder if all Jewish guys are as hairy as Aaron. Anyway, Tanner just has a little patch of hair right above his penis, none on the sides or around his scrotum. And it's so soft, and a real light brown, almost blond. I just love playing with it. And his balls? Small, like mine, maybe an inch long and a half inch thick. I bet I could get both of them in my mouth at one time. Soon enough....

Oh, and his butt is so fabulous. Mine's kinda flat, but his is a real bubble butt, and I just love to watch him clench his muscles and make it wiggle. He does that now that I'm watching him so much. He always giggles that precious little giggle of his when he does it, too. Just makes me want to tackle him and lick him all over. But soon enough.....

Anyway, back to what happened. We took our showers and went to bed, and I took care of our needs, which was really cool, and then we went to sleep with him snuggled back against me. He likes to do that and pull my arm around him and hold it tight. I just lie there and smell his hair and thank God for loving me enough to send Tanner to me. I am so blessed.

After church, mom fixed us fried chicken, mashed potatoes and peas with milk and apple pie for dessert. When we had finished the pie, she told us what had happened Saturday night. But first she gave Tanner this serious look of hers that I've seen hundreds of times and asked him right out, "Tanner, I have to know how you feel about your mother. Would you like to move back home when those casts come off?"

Tanner got this terrible look on his face, and I thought he was going to cry. He started shaking and I was really afraid for a minute. "God no! Mom M. I HATE her. I never want to see her again, much less move back there. Can't I stay here, PLEASE!?"

Mom's face got real sad looking at Tanner's outburst, then she sighed with relief. Here's how she told us about what she had done.

"Well, boys. I have some good news. Tanner, you're going to be living with us for as long as you want, and whether you see your mother again is entirely up to you."

"Sure, Mom M. I'm only 15. How are we gonna keep my mother away from me? Isn't there some law about parental rights or something?"

"Yes, there is a law about parental rights but your mother has signed hers away. It's all right here in this file folder, signed, sealed and delivered. And totally legal."

"Ok, Mom. What happened? Is this the plan you were talking about six weeks ago?"

"Yes, Brian, it is. Except things worked out even better than I could have imagined. You see, I hired a private detective to do some snooping around, you know, sort of keep an eye on Tanner's mother, and the more he saw the more interesting it became. It seems Charlie has been dealing drugs on campus at Tanner's school, AND at the grade school. When the detective told me that, I authorized him to spend whatever he needed to spend to get the guy wrapped up as tight as we could.

He already had all the equipment, so all I had to pay for was his time. The guy spent four weeks getting snapshots and videos of Charlie's drug sales, mostly on campus. The videos even had good quality sound on them. You know, Tanner, your mother hasn't been too smart. The detective was even able to get pictures of her in the car waiting as Charlie made some of his deals. He also got some photos and videos of the two of them doing cocaine at your, no... her house.

So last night, I picked up Tony. That's Tony DeVito, Tanner. He lives down the street a block or so. We've been friends for years. Tony is the sweetest, gentlest man you'd ever want to meet, but he's big. I mean huge. And he looks like everybody's image of an Italian mafia type. So, last night Tony and I drove over to your mother's house just as it was getting dark. I pulled up out front with Tony sitting in the back seat on the passenger side. Then I called your mother on my cell phone.

'You don't know me yet, Mrs. Williams, but you're going to,' I said. 'I'm parked in front of your house, and I want you to come out and see me.'

She gave me a bit of guff, but I eventually convinced her to come out to the car. Then I convinced her to get in. As she did, I introduced Tony and made sure she got a good look at him. I could see she was a little nervous already. She started to say something mean as soon as she shut the door, but I flicked the door locks then hit the window lock button. Then I lit into her.

'I'm here about your son, Tanner, Mrs. Williams,' I said. 'Now I want you to shut up and listen to me real closely, cause I'm only gonna say this once. Have you ever heard of the Gambino's, Mrs. Williams?' She about broke her neck snapping it around to look at me. 'Well, that's my maiden name, lady. And Tony here is my cousin. He's here mainly for my protection. We have other people that do the things that are gonna be done to you if you don't listen and do what I tell you. You remember the movie The Godfather?' She shook her head yes, of course. I mean everybody's seen that movie more than once.

'Well, I'm about to make you an offer you can't refuse, Mrs. W. I'm not gonna ask my cousins from Chicago to come down and do to your knees what you did to Tanner's wrists, and I'm not gonna turn you and your scumbag drug pushin' boyfriend in to the cops. All you gotta do is sign off all your parental rights to Tanner. Now. Permanently.'

Well, she started blubbering and yelling and screaming that she'd have the cops after me if I so much as sneezed and all that b/s. I let her ramble and threaten for a few minutes then I nodded my head, which was our signal for Tony to lean forward and clamp his hand down on her shoulder. The one thing Tony gets upset about is kids getting hurt. He was really upset last night. So when he grabbed her, she knew she'd been grabbed.

'Listen, Mrs. W, this is the way it is. Here's an envelope. You open it and look at the contents as I lay it all out for you. The first thing you're gonna see is a copy of the x-rays they took of Tanner's wrists at the hospital. Then you're gonna see a copy of the doctor's report on the surgery and the damage you did. Then there are copies of all the medical bills. Now remember those, cause you're gonna pay 'em. Then there's a complete description of what you did to Tanner and how he got to my house. You'll notice that it's been transcribed by a court reporter and notarized. Behind that are some pictures I took before we took Tanner to the hospital and some more at the hospital before they took him into surgery.'

All this time, she's looking at all this stuff I'm pointing out to her, and I'm starting to smell her. Let me tell you boys, fear stinks. So I kept going.

'Behind that are some real interesting pictures of how Charlie makes his living and keeps you in drugs, alcohol and other goodies. Aren't those good pictures, Mrs. W? I got a great camera. And that big package in the envelope is a video. You can keep that one cause I got more. I think you and Charlie will have lots of fun watching that one. Kids are really precious people, Mrs. W, and you and Charlie are feeding off them like so much trash. That's really sick. But we're gonna work out a deal where you and Charlie reform. Starting tonight.'"

Tanner and I were just sitting there staring at her. I couldn't believe what she was telling us. She was even using slang words like 'gonna' instead of 'going to', which she just never does. We listened, amazed, as she went on with her story.

"So Tanner, that woman started hemming and hawing and trying to say something, but I cut her off. 'Here's what we're gonna do Mrs. W,' I said. 'I got this here document, a legal one prepared by an attorney, that gives me permanent custody of your boy, Tanner. In it, you relinquish, totally, absolutely and voluntarily, all parental rights and responsibilities. You have finally decided that since your husband died you just haven't been able to cope with raising a son and have asked me to take him in. It ain't an adoption, Mrs. W. I wouldn't do that to Tanner. But it IS permanent custody. Only Tanner can change that, when he's old enough. Whether he ever sees you again is up to him.

Personally, I'd like to see your kneecaps smashed beyond any hope of repair. I'd like to see you living the rest of your life in a wheelchair with your hand out begging for food on the street corner. I'd like to see you trying to sell that pathetic body of yours to any poor slob dumb enough and desperate enough to pay a nickel for it. But what I want even more than that is to see Tanner get a good home life. That boy deserves better than you, Mrs. W, and I aim to see that he gets it. He's in love with my son, and I'm happy as a clam in the ocean. Why I've seen more love in my house in the last month than I've seen in all the world around me since my husband died, and them two boys each didn't even know the other one loved him. If I could live surrounded by love like they have for each other, I wouldn't care if every boy in the neighborhood was gay.

Of course, I COULD just turn all this stuff over to the district attorney. There's enough there to put you and Charlie away for a good long time. You might even meet some nice lady who could show you a new use for the small end of a baseball bat. And it would get Charlie off the streets, too. But that wouldn't get me what I want, Mrs. W. If I did that, poor Tanner would be up for grabs, a ward of the state, shuffled off to some foster home. Nope, we're gonna keep all this stuff to ourselves, aren't we Mrs. W.

Oh, and Charlie's gonna stop selling drugs to minors, too. Right now. Tonight. I'm gonna keep my eyes on him for a long time. If I see him within half a mile of a school and not in a moving vehicle, I'm gonna turn all this stuff over to the DA. Then I'm gonna call my uncle and ask for his help. You ever heard the sound a knee makes when it's hit with a baseball bat by a 250 pound weight lifter? Neither have I, Mrs. W, but I bet it ain't a pretty sound.

Oh, and you see those medical bills? I expect to have a cashier's check delivered to my bank by courier within five days. There's a slip of paper with a loan officer's name on it clipped to the bills. The courier is to deliver the check to that loan officer. He'll know what to do with it. If it isn't there within five days, all this stuff goes to the DA.

Now you sign that paper there, real careful and pretty like. Use your best signature and don't try to screw it up. You'll find three copies. Sign each one of them, one right after the other while I watch. Then when you're done, Tony here is gonna walk into that place you call a home and pick up Tanner's computer and clothes and anything else he thinks Tanner might want. You do still have Tanner's computer, don't you?'

She assured me she did and hadn't touched it since the night you left, Tanner. So as soon as she had signed these papers, Tony walked her to the house. I think the baseball bat he was carrying must have scared the bejabbers out of her, because she kept stumbling and looking like she was going to throw up. Tony got all your stuff in three loads and brought it back to the car. Then he did something he and I hadn't talked about.

I guess I hadn't realized how really angry he was at that woman until he walked back towards the house after the last load. He had that bat of his in his hand and he walked up to that tree in front of the house. Your mother was standing inside the screen door, and I could tell he said something to her, but I couldn't hear what it was. Then he took that bat and struck that tree so hard the bat shattered. I mean it split into at least three or four pieces, one of which almost took out the screen door. The last thing I remember seeing was your mother slumping to the floor in a dead faint. When Tony got back in the car, all he said was, 'I don't think you're gonna have to wait five days for that check and a little more to go along with it.'

So that's it, guys. Tanner is now a permanent member of this family, one way or another, for as long as he wants, even if you guys split up for some reason later on."

Tanner and I just looked at her. I could hardly believe what I had just heard. I thought I knew my mom, and this lady wasn't my mom. She wasn't a member of any Gambino family. Her maiden name was Madden, and she could trace both sides of her family back to Ireland. And Tony might be able to break a bat on a tree, but he'd never be able to hit a person with it.

Mom just sat there looking at us with this big shit eatin' grin on her face. Tanner looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or cry, faint or jump up and down. Me? I had to pee!

So that's it, diary. Tanner lives with me now. We're in love and someday we're going to be lovers. We both want to do it now, but I keep telling him we should wait until his casts come off so he can use his hands to do whatever he wants to do. I don't want him to use his mouth on me without being able to use his hands. Besides, he's finally figured out a way to hold my penis between the tips of the fingers of both hands and move the skin up and down some. He can't finish me yet, but it feels so good, and he looks so cute doing that. I love it. And I love him. And he loves me. Aw shit, diary, I'm going to cry again.