The Root Beer Boys, Part Two - 9. Chapter 9

Matthew's Diary

June 6, 1994
It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to. That's the name of some song my dad keeps singing. I guess he doesn't know how much I wanted that bike I didn't get. Here I am nine years old and still don't have a bike. Some birthday.

There's a new kid in town. Andy has a new brother. Andy's two years older than me, but he's neat. His brother's my age, I think. But I haven't met him yet.

June 6, 1995
Ten years old and I finally got a bike. I guess Dad just couldn't afford it last year. He was unemployed for a while. Wayne's neat. He's Andy's brother. He and Thomas came to my party. Thomas is my best friend. Wayne's second best. Thomas really likes everybody to call him Tommy, but he doesn't seem to mind when I call him Thomas. He's cool. We sleep over a lot. Wayne showed us his dick on the last sleep over. I couldn't believe it. He wasn't circumvented or something when he was born, so he had this extra skin on the end of it that none of us had. He said it hurt when he got stiff, so his dad took him to the doctor and had him circumvented. Now he's like Andy and the rest of us. He was so excited when it healed, he wanted to show it off. So he just dropped his shorts and flashed it for Thomas and me to look at. Mine got hard as I looked at his. I wonder why it did that.

June 6, 1996
Eleven years old and not a hair on my body, cept my head, of course. Wayne says Andy's starting to get some pubes. I guess those guys get to see each other naked all the time. He's never said, and I never asked, but they share a bedroom, so why not? Thomas and I always change in the bathroom alone when we have sleepovers. I've never seen another boy naked, except Wayne that one time. I wonder why I'm even writing this. 'Cause I'm curious, I guess.

June 6, 1998
Happy birthday to me! I'm 13 and just finished seventh grade! Thomas is so cool. He and Wayne and I are still best friends. Of course, he and I have been best friends forever, but now Wayne's a part of our group. The gleesome threesome. I think Wayne and Andy are different. They're closer than any two brothers I ever knew, and yeah, I know some other brothers, at school and at church. They hold hands all the time, and if Wayne's not with Thomas and me, he's with Andy. We call 'em A&W. They're always together.

Wayne and Thomas spent the night last night so they could be here for the party today. It was just the three of us. Thirteen is too old to be having little kids parties anymore. Besides, it's more fun with just the three of us. Last night we talked Mom and Dad into letting us fool around with body paint. Dad is so cool. He's huge. About 6 feet 4 inches and 250 pounds. He looks like the kind of guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, but he's really just a big teddy bear. I love him to death, and I love to cuddle with him. So do Thomas and Wayne. Any one of us can crawl up into his lap when we're watching TV, and it doesn't make any difference to him.

Anyway, he let us paint him, too. He put on a swimsuit, but us kids just wore our underwear. Wayne and I had on briefs, but Thomas was wearing bikinis. Wow, is he hot or what? They were Spiderman bikinis and the way they fit him, Spiderman was crawling right across his dick. It was so cute. I wonder what it looks like. His dick, I mean.

Back to painting. I painted Dad's chest and stomach while the guys worked on his back and face. He's kinda hairy, so the pictures didn't turn out too good, but it was cool, and he kept laughing at us. By the time we were done with him he looked like a Pissaco, or whoever that guy is that paints weird looking people. Mom about laughed herself silly when we paraded him out to show her. Then they went off together to get him cleaned up. I think they probably took a shower together. Yuck. Do parents really do that stuff still? That stuff I'd like to do with Thomas? I wonder why I want to do that stuff with Thomas.

After Mom and Dad went off to take a shower or whatever, us guys went back to my room and started painting each other. It was really fun, especially when one of us was working on another guy's legs. I did Thomas's legs first while Wayne was doing his back. When I was painting up close to his crotch, he got a stiffy. I could see it grow in his bikinis. He was giggling the whole time, but when it was sticking practically straight out, I snuck a look at his face, and he blushed. It was so cool! I wanted to take his underpants off and paint stripes around it like a barber pole, but I couldn't work up the nerve to suggest it with Wayne there.

After we did Thomas, he insisted that he and I paint Wayne. I was painting Wayne's back while Thomas did his front, so I didn't get to see Wayne get stiff, but I saw Thomas looking at him down there and blushing, so I knew what was happening. And then when I finished his back, I stepped around and looked. Sure enough, he had this tent in his shorts, just like Thomas's. That's when I made a mistake. I started making fun of their stiffies, pointing at them and giggling. Actually, they looked really cool standing their with the dicks making tents in their shorts, but I couldn't say that, could I.

That's when they ganged up on me. They both painted my back, then they each took one side of my front. They started at my neck and worked their way down. When they got to my waist, Thomas insisted on pulling my shorts down so they stopped right at the top of my peter with half my butt cheeks showing. I thought I was going to pee my pants when they started painting my lower tummy. My peter popped up so fast I thought Thomas was going to get a black eye. Then they worked on my legs and Wayne insisted on pulling my shorts up really tight in my crotch so they could get paint practically all the way to my balls. This just made my peter get harder, and the way Thomas was pulling on my shorts just made it look bigger than it really is. When he grabbed onto my waistband, his fingers went so far into my shorts that I think the tip of his middle finger brushed the end of my stiffy. I almost passed out, it felt so good. I wonder why that is.

By the time they were done with me, we all had tents in our shorts and ended up comparing them. It was cool. I wanted us all to take our pants off and compare dicks, but nobody had the guts to suggest it. I keep thinking I want to touch Thomas down there. Naked. I wonder why.

June 6, 1999
School's out, eighth grade is over, thank God, and summer's here. Another three months to check out all the cool guys in their skimpy speedos at the local pool. Yeah, I check out the guys. I think I'm gay. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I learned so much this year. Important stuff. Like how to masturbate! YEAH! COOL STUFF! I'm a sex hog, what can I say? But every time I beat off, I think of Thomas. He is adorable. And not because he's rich, either, which he is. But who cares?

We haven't done anything with each other, any sex stuff I mean. But we're still best friends, and I love him to death. Gee, I really said that, didn't I? I think I do love him. But I don't think he loves me. I see him looking at girls a lot. Like Nancy. But we have a lot of fun together. Him and me and Wayne. We ride bikes and go skateboarding and camping and stuff. A&W are together so much it's awesome. But when Andy's messing around with Brian and Joey and Aaron, Wayne and Thomas and I are usually together. We're still called the gleesome threesome, probably because we laugh so much. But Thomas is just so funny. He's always cracking jokes.

All I seem to think about is sex. Every time I beat off I look to see if there's any hair down there. There isn't. But my arm pits are startin' to smell more when I sweat, and Dad says that's because of puberty. Plus I get boners all the time, even in history class. Talk about b-o-r-i-n-g! What else is there to do in World History except get a boner? I spent a lot of time in history classes this year seein' if I could keep it up for the entire class. About drove myself insane with hardons.

Do the other guys feel like I do? Do they think of sex stuff all the time like I do? Of all the things we can talk about, we never talk about sex. Wayne and Thomas and me, I mean. I'd like to do a lot more than talk, though, especially with Thomas. I think I'm in love with him. He's all I can think about. He's rich and dresses really well, but he never makes a big deal about how much money his family has. Mom and Dad buy me good clothes, too, but they're not always the popular name brands, like Dockers and stuff. But Thomas would look good in rags. And I bet he REALLY looks good in NOTHIN'.

Christmas, 1999
Omigod! A&W came out to us! Yeah, they're gay! And boyfriends! And brothers! But who cares? It is so cool! Andy's adopted, so he's not really a BLOOD relative, but what the heck. It's not like they're gonna have kids together. All the gang had sort of been guessing about the root beer boys (that's what we call 'em, because of their nickname, A&W) all summer, anyway, but it's cool to have them come out and tell us. Now we're not guessing any more. And they are sooooooo happy!

Once they told us, they started holding hands a lot more, and putting their arms around each other more, and when it's just us guys at somebody's house watching TV or something, they sit really close. Sometimes Wayne sits on Andy's lap and they smooch a little. But it doesn't bother anybody. Except me, maybe. I'm a little jealous. Or envious. I don't know which one is the right word. I just wish I could do that with you-know-who. Yeah, Thomas! He just gets better looking every day.

And we like each other so much. I mean, we're always together, either with the gang, with Wayne, or just by ourselves. Sometimes I catch him looking at me funny, and I wonder if he likes me the way I like him. When we have sleepovers, I keep trying to see if he wants to do stuff, but I'm afraid I'll scare him off, so we haven't done anything yet. Wayne stayed over at his house one night last summer and I know they beat off together. I didn't know it then, but when A&W came out to us, Tommy said something about the night he and Wayne did it together. I almost died when he said that. I am so jealous. I gotta figure out a way to get together with him. But I want to do more than just do it in the same room together.

I wonder if Thomas does it as often as I do. Sometimes I think I'm gonna wear mine out, but it feels so good I can't stop. Or even slow down. Dad caught me one time. Geez! Talk about embarrassing. I was lying in the bathtub walkin' the dog. That's what I call it. We don't even have a dog. Hehehe And he just opens the door and walks in. I guess he didn't know I was takin' a bath. Well, I was SUPPOSED to be takin' a bath. Anyway, I think he turned as red as I did. I just froze with my hand wrapped around it, stickin' up like a flagpole, just the top inch stickin' out. He looked at my face, then at my crotch, then back at my face. Then he got this big grin on his face, turned around and left. As he left, though, he said, "don't do anything I wouldn't do." I could hear him laughing all the way down the hall. Geez! He is so cool. I love him a bunch. It was really embarrassing at first, but I bet a lot of guys' dads would have given them a sermon about the sins of the flesh or somethin'. Not my dad. He just admits to doin' it himself and goes on like it's nothin'.

June 6, 2000
Fifteen years old and never been kissed. I'm getting tired of my pillow. The dang thing's too dry to have any real fun with. The root beer boys have started a gay/straight alliance group at their church. They said they're gonna bring it to school in the fall. I think I'm gonna join. AFTER I tell my folks, of course. I think I'm gonna tell Dad first and let him tell Mom. Then I gotta figure a way to tell Thomas. It's strange when I think about it. It seems like it should be easier to tell Thomas than my Dad, but it isn't. I think it's because I know my dad won't disown me. He probably isn't going to like it, but he won't throw me away.

And I don't think Thomas will throw me away either, but if he does, I don't know what I'd do. I can't stand the thought of not being friends at least. He's just the most special person in my life outside of family.

Today wasn't a big deal. Birthdays just don't seem to have the same significance now that they used to. Thomas and Wayne came over for cake and ice cream and we played on the play station that Mom and Dad got me. That and some games are the only presents I got. I can't believe how expensive they are, and the games are terrible, too. Cost-wise, I mean.

January 27, 2001
Omigod! Something's up. Thomas just called and invited me to spend the night next Friday. He sounded strange, saying things he's never said before. He said Wayne spent last night at his house and they talked about things. They talked about feelings, and love, and how Wayne and Andy knew they were in love and gay and everything. Now he wants to talk to me. TALK to me. He sounded really excited. I don't know whether to be happy or sad. Is he excited because he spent he night with Wayne, and now he and Wayne have feelings for each other? I'd hate him if he came between Wayne and Andy. Besides, I love him. He CAN'T love Wayne! Can he? I bet I have the shits all week over this.

February 3, 2001
Holy shit! Last night was the most awesome night of my LIFE! THOMAS LOVES ME! HE REALLY LOVES ME! He doesn't know if he's gay, though. He doesn't even know if he wants to do serious sex stuff with me. But who cares?! He loves me! And I told him I love him! Here's how it went. This is so cool, I'm about to pee down my leg just trying to get it typed here.

I was supposed to spend the night at his house, but his Dad had some business meeting that he and Thomas' mother had to go to, and they didn't want us there by ourselves. So he came over to my house right after school, about 4:00. Mom had some chocolate chip cookies and milk ready for us, so we wolfed that stuff down and then went outside to enjoy the winter air. We played a bit of two-man tag, chasing each other through all the yards in the neighborhood, tackling each other, and just having fun being together. At first it seemed a little odd not to have Wayne with us, because the gleesome threesome spent so much time together. But at the same time, I was glad it was just the two of us. Thomas seemed a little different somehow.

When he'd look at me as we wrestled on the ground after one of us tackled the other, his look was different, sort of like he was gazing rather than just looking. One time, we were really winded, because I had led him on a wild goose chase before he caught me and tackled me. So we laid there with me on my back and him lying across me from knee to chest. At first, I was so tired I had my eyes closed, resting. Then when I opened them, I just looked up at the clouds drifting by overhead. Then I looked at him and saw the strangest look on his face. I suddenly realized that he had been looking at me the whole time. I had seen it from the bottom of my eyes, but it hadn't registered. I know what that look meant now, but at the time I didn't. But it gave me a warm feeling, and I could feel my cheeks turning red as I started to blush with happiness.

It was so weird, and so neat. We just laid there like that, staring into each other's eyes for the longest time. His chest was sort of on my stomach, his hands on my shoulders, a lot of his upper body weight supported by his left elbow. I could have laid there forever, but eventually he pushed himself up and said he was getting cold. I hadn't noticed it until then, but I was cold, too. Besides that, I had to pee.

"Come on. I'll race you to the house," I said, as I jumped up and began running towards home.

When we got home, we could smell the fried chicken mom was cooking. Gosh it smelled good. Mom suggested we get out of our dirty clothes and grab a bath or shower before dinner, so we headed for my bedroom. As soon as we got there, I asked him if he wanted to go first.

"Why don't we go together?" he said.

I almost shit! We always seemed to avoid being naked together before. I know I was always afraid I'd get hard if I looked at him very long, and I always hoped he had the same problem. Now here he was suggesting we do just that, strip naked and share the bathroom together. I guess my hesitancy made him nervous.

"Unless you think your mom would wonder about us sharing the bathroom together," he said.

"Uh... no..uh..I don't think she'd even ... uh notice. Sure, Let's do it."

So we stripped down to our jockey shorts and headed for the bathroom which was right across the hall from my room.

"You gonna take a shower or a bath?" he asked.

"I was gonna take a bath," I said. "I want to warm up lying in the tub."

"Ok. You go first. I'll just sit on the john and we can talk while you get warm."

So he sat on the commode with the lid down and I leaned on the counter while the tub filled with hot water. I saw him looking at me as I slipped my briefs down and kicked them off. I was a little embarrassed as I slipped butt naked into the water and laid back, letting the water warm me from head to foot. That's one of the best things about our bathroom. It has this extra long tub that I can lay almost flat without having to bend my knees.

As I laid back with my head resting against the back of the tub, I glanced down at my tallywacker floating straight up and down in the water. I hadn't used any bubble bath, so everything was kinda standin' out there for both of us to see. I was tempted to cover myself but thought that would be kind of childish. Besides, I liked the idea of him looking at me naked.

When I turned my head to look at him, I saw that he was doin' just exactly that, lookin' at my naked body. More specifically, he was looking at that particular PART of my naked body. I immediately felt myself getting stiff, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Shoot, I get hard just looking at myself. Knowing somebody else was looking, especially Thomas, made me even harder.

As I got as hard as I had ever been before, the tip of the head was just barley breaking the surface of the water. He noticed when I looked from it to him, and he blushed. Then he said something that really startled me and made me feel so good.

"I've never seen you with a hardon before, Matthew."

WOW! He called me Matthew. Usually he calls me Matt. And the tone in his voice was soft, almost like he was in awe of it. But I knew that couldn't be. I had some hair down there, but I wasn't all that big yet. I liked what I had but I never felt like I was very impressive. So I didn't think that was it. I blushed, just like him.

"Shit, Thomas, you've hardly seen me naked, much less with a hardon," I whispered, hoping Mom wasn't standing outside the door listening to us.

"It's cool."

That's all he said. It's cool. Then he changed the subject and we just talked for a while. I kept glancing from his face down to his crotch trying to see if he'd popped a boner, too. But the way he was leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs, I couldn't tell. We talked for a while and then I sat up and began washing. It was a little awkward leaning up on one hand so I could wash my butthole. But when that was done, he surprised me again.

"You want me to wash your back?"

My head snapped around to look at him. He was standing right by the tub, looking down at me. I don't think he was hard, but the tent in his briefs still caught my attention. I felt Matthew junior start to rise up again.

"Sure. I guess. If you don't mind."

Kneeling down by the tub, he grabbed the washcloth and started rubbing the bar of soap onto it.

"I don't mind at all. I've wanted to do this for a long time," he said, as he started to rub the washcloth up and down my back. I just sat there with my hands on the outsides of my legs, my pecker standing stiff as a board between my legs. I could tell from the corner of my eye that he was looking right at it and it started to throb something fierce. I said I was a sex hog!

I wanted so bad to ask him to wash my chest and stomach and crotch and everything else, but I just couldn't do it. He hadn't really said anything to indicate what he was thinking. He just looked.

Pretty soon he pushed back from the tub and tossed the washcloth in my lap.

"You gonna do something about that?" he said with a big grin on his face.

"Not right now, I'm not!" I practically shouted at him. Geez I was so embarrassed. I mean, here I was sitting butt naked in front of him with the hardest hardon I'd ever had and him staring right at it for the last three or four minutes, and him still in his undies.

But as he stood up, I saw that the tent in his shorts had definitely grown into a boner. Awesome, I thought to myself. I pulled the plug and let the water drain out, then started to fill the tub again with fresh water for Thomas before I stood and grabbed for a towel. By that time my boner had gone down a bit and I only had a semi. Now it was my turn.

I just stood by the sink with the towel wrapped around me and watched as he slid out of his shorts and into the tub. He was gorgeous! His boner hadn't gone anywhere! Geez this guy was a regular little horny toad. As he stepped into the tub, I saw him from the side. His hardon stood straight out from his body. I mean it was perfectly straight and perfectly parallel with the floor of the tub. Cut. Mushroom. Sparse bush at the top of the base. Bald balls. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Awesome. Perfect!

I had only thought I was in love before. Now I knew it. In one brief moment, I had gone from loving him emotionally to wanting him sexually. I knew in an instant that I wanted to lie naked with him in my bed and feel his skin against mine. I immediately sprang wood again and sat down on the commode, the towel still wrapped around me. I didn't even think about whether he could see me down there. I didn't care. If he had asked, I'd have thrown the damn towel away and stood up for him so he could look at me some more.

But I still couldn't figure out what had come over him. Always before he had been so shy about his body. Tonight he was putting it on display, and I didn't know why. I guess I was too startled to ask, so we just talked a little and looked a lot. Before too long I realized I was looking at his face more than his crotch. He is so cool. I love him to death.

Eventually he sat up and washed and I washed his back for him. I had to fight to keep my free hand out of his crotch, but I did. When he was drying off, I wanted to step into him and wrap the towels around us and pull us together so we could be touching from head to toes, but I didn't. I couldn't. I was too nervous.

When he was dry, I stuck my head out the door to see if the coast was clear. Just as I did, Mom stuck her head out the kitchen door and hollered that dinner was almost ready. As soon as she moved back into the kitchen, I pulled the door open and darted naked across the hall with Thomas right behind me. We just looked at each other as we got dressed, and I knew something was up. I just knew it. The atmosphere was different. We were somehow communicating without words, but I couldn't understand what we were saying.

All through dinner, Thomas kept fidgeting in his seat and looking at me out of the tops of his eyes as he looked down at his food. There wasn't a whole lot of talk at the table. Me and Thomas kept kicking each other under the table and giggling and lookin' at each other. I saw Dad lookin' at me once with this funny grin on his face. Once in a while Mom would say something and Dad would answer her, but Thomas and me didn't say much. I just knew somethin' was up.

When we were finished with dinner, Thomas and I had to do the dishes and clean up the kitchen. That's always been my chore, and if I have company, they have to help. That's just one of Mom's rules. Anyway, after that we watched some TV, but by 8:30 I couldn't stand it any more and asked Thomas if he wanted to go back to my room and play some cards. I was thinkin' strip poker, but I sure didn't say that in front of my folks.

We kissed Mom and Dad goodnight (yeah, even Thomas does that. He's so cool.) and headed off to the bedroom. When we got there we just sat on the bed, facing each other.

"Thomas, you gotta tell me what's up, man. I been waitin' ever since you got here for you to tell me, and I can't wait any longer. You been lookin' at me funny for a week!"
He seemed kind of nervous, but I could tell he wanted to talk, too. So I just shut up and tried to be patient while he got his act together.

"Well, it's like this, Matthew," he said. I just love it when he calls me Matthew. Most people call me Matt, but the way he says my whole name is just so wonderful it gives me goosebumps.

"You remember the day I almost got killed by that truck?"

I just nodded, because the minute he said that I felt a tear start to form in the corner of my eye. I had almost died that day thinking he was going to get hurt. Then when he put the lip lock onto Wayne I almost died again.

"And I'm sure you remember that kiss I gave Wayne."

He was looking at me with this plaintive expression on his face.

"Yeah, I remember," I whispered. I couldn't help myself. I could feel a tear leaking out of my right eye and dribbling down my cheek. I rubbed it away real fast, mad that I couldn't control it and was crying in front of him.

"And you saw what happened, didn't you? Down there, I mean."

"Yeah." Sniff

"Well it wasn't Wayne I was kissin', Matthew. Not in my head anyway. And certainly not in my heart."

"Huh? I don't understand," I said to him. I really didn't. What the heck was he talking about? I was there. I saw it. It was him and Wayne, big time. I hadn't been able to get that picture out of my head since it happened. I've never mentioned it in here before because it hurt too much.

"It was you, Matthew. In my head and my heart, it was you I was kissing. I love you, Matthew!"

He said that real fast. Almost so fast I was afraid I had dreamed it. And he was crying. Big tears were falling down his face.

"I've loved you for so long it hurts. But I never had the guts to say anything. And I've been afraid that you didn't feel the same way about me, so I've been afraid to say anything. But I talked to A&W right after that kissing thing, and Andy convinced me that it would be OK to tell you how I feel. Is it OK, Matthew? Have I really fucked up here?"

He couldn't look at me. He just sat there ringing his hands and staring at his lap, with these big tears running down his cheeks and dropping onto his shorts. He wasn't sobbing or anything, just quiet tears. I couldn't help it. I cried too. How long had he felt this way? How long had we kept our feelings private? How many days, weeks, months, years had we stolen from each other, robbed ourselves of because we were afraid of our own feelings?

I just sat there with him and cried like him. Not sobs or uncontrollable, noisy cries, but somethin' else. What's that word? Bittersweet! That's it. Bittersweet tears. After a couple of minutes, I reached out and took his hands in mine. When he looked into my eyes, I almost melted. There were so many emotions there. Fear, sadness, but the one that meant the most was love. I saw the love in his eyes, and I melted. I couldn't speak above a whisper.

"Thomas, I've loved you all my life. I almost died twice that day. Once when you went under the truck and again when you and Wayne were kissing each other. Because I thought I'd lost you both times. I'm gay, Thomas. Are you telling me you're gay too?"

"I don't know, Matthew. I really don't. I'm confused about a lot of it. All I know for sure is that I love you and I want to hold hands, and hug, and sit together like A&W do. And I want to kiss you like Wayne and I kissed that time. I don't know about anything else."

It's strange, now that I think about it. But I had wanted this for so long, dreamed of kissing him for so long, but when it came time to actually do it, I found myself wanting to put it off. I didn't want to rush into it. I wanted it to last. I wanted our first kiss to be special. I wanted to savor it. Of course, I wasn't thinking all these things at the time. I'm just now puttin' into words what I was doin' at the time.

I sat there for a minute thinking about what he said, trying to tell him with my eyes that I was OK with it, with what he said. I wanted the same things he did. But how to tell him that? Finally I sat forward, rising up onto my knees. I let go of his hands and placed my hands on his shoulders. Then I pushed him back so he was lying on the bed. And as he laid back, I laid down on top of him. It felt good. His body felt good against mine, even though we still had our t-shirts and undershorts on.

I laid there wondering what he was thinking, what he was feeling, wondering if it felt as good to him, being on the bottom as it did to me being on the top. Then I leaned forward really slowly, like I had always dreamed it and just rested my lips on his.

Omigod! It was awesome. I actually had trouble breathing. His arms came up and wrapped around me, and he just held me softly. He didn't squeeze me tight or anything like that. And neither of us got a boner right away. We just laid there holding each other gently, our lips not moving, breathing through our noses, sharing carbon dioxide. I guess his eyes were closed. I know mine were. I never dreamed it could be so good.

After what seemed like an eternity, I moved back, opened my eyes and looked down at him. We were both breathing kind of heavy, but I honestly don't remember if I had a boner yet. As often as I had beat off thinking about what he looked like naked and wanting to do sex stuff with him, I wasn't thinking about sex at all. It was enough just to be lying on him, looking at him, enjoying the look in his eyes as he returned my stare.

We laid there for a long time not saying anything with our mouths but speaking all sorts of things with our eyes.

"I only thought I loved you before, Thomas. Now I know it. God, I love you so much. Can I kiss you again?" I whispered to him.

He didn't say anything. He just nodded and raised his head off the pillow to press his lips against mine. God his lips felt so wonderful, so soft, so awesome. This time our lips parted a little bit and we experimented with moving them against each other. After a while I felt his tongue as he tried to wet his lips. It was kind of electric. But it darted back into his mouth as soon as we made contact. So I did the same thing as him. It felt just as awesome to touch his lips with my tongue as it had when his tongue touched mine.

We didn't start doing any tongue dances. Just a few tentative little jabs. But oh were they ever wonderful. I think I could have gone to sleep with my lips glued to his if I hadn't needed to breathe. Eventually our lips slipped apart, and I laid my head on his upper chest, just below his shoulder. I was still lying on top of him, but he didn't seem to mind. We fell asleep in that position, his arms still around me, slowly stroking my back.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find the overhead light turned out and an afghan from the living room covering us. We had fallen asleep on top of the bedspread. I remember wondering who had covered us and what I was going to hear in the morning, but I went back to sleep before I could get too upset about it. I had never felt this wonderful before, and I wasn't going to let anything spoil it for me.

A couple hours later I woke up to find Thomas trying to squirm out from under me.

"You OK, Thomas?"

"Yeah. I gotta go to the bathroom."

"Me too. Wanna go together?"

"Sure," he said sleepily. We had just been whispering, trying not to wake up too much I think.

I usually just pull the leg band of my briefs aside and fish my pecker out from the side to pee, but when we got to the bathroom, Thomas slipped his briefs down to just below his butt cheeks, leaving everything hanging out. I guess it was the fact that we'd never peed together, and I'd never seen him this way that made me ask.

"You want some help with that?"

He looked at me standing beside him looking down at his crotch.

"Sure. That'd be nice."

Oh wow. It wasn't just what he said but how he said it. I reached out and gently took hold of the most beautiful penis I had ever laid eyes on and directed it towards the toilet bowl. Pretty soon I was feeling another boy's piss flowing through his penis. It wasn't the same as when I do it myself. It was wonderful. Beautiful. Awesome. Lovely. Not seeing it but feeling it. It made his penis feel alive. Then as he finished and squeezed his muscles to force out the last drop or two, I felt that, too. And he started to get stiff. I let him get about half hard in my hand before letting go, then I stepped back and watched as he pulled his shorts back up.

He did the same thing for me, without even asking. I don't know why, but it made me feel so special that he could do that without asking. It was like he was saying that he knew me well enough already that he didn't have to ask. He already knew what my answer would be. And it felt so great to have his fingers wrapped around little Matthew. But he surprised me. As I was peeing, he moved his little finger and ring finger down under my ball sack and sort of lifted them a little so he had practically all of me in his hand. I almost cried with the joy I felt right then. It was just so loving.

We went back to bed and slipped under the covers.

"Do you want to get naked?" he asked me.

"No, Thomas. Not right now. Just having you here like this is enough for now. Just hold me. Please?"

He rolled onto his side facing me and pulled me into his chest. His chin rested on the top of my head as I nestled into his chest. Our legs were intertwined, our arms around each other as we fell asleep. I remember thinking that life was good, and all was right with the world.