Wake Me Up Inside - 5. Chapter 5

Quin

I couldn’t believe I was about to walk into a room full of people I haven’t seen in 6 months. I felt like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

“Chin up buttercup. These are your friends.” I gave her a pointed look. We were just outside Train, the newest restaurant, lounge, lesbian bar place.

“Backstabbers more like.”

“I thought you were over it.” She arched a brow.

“I am.” I blew out a breath “I just-it’s been a while... I’m embarrassed okay.”

“Don’t be.” Her smile was warm. “We missed you.” I suppose I had missed everyone too. I especially missed having a best friend but I knew there was no way I was going to restore my broken friendship. The trust was gone.

“Let’s do this.” I squared my shoulders, she looped her arm through mine and we marched forward and onward.

Quin

The venue was nice. The back, the club portion, was dark enough, smoky with a lot of flattering soft red light. The restaurant part almost seemed like a diner. The seating was mostly booths with what looked like comfortable red leather padding. Everything else was chrome and sleek. Not too shabby.

“Cindy said they’re at the back.” Sarah spoke a little loudly in order to be heard over the music. I nodded and followed her. I was jittery and slightly dreading this reunion. I felt like a tool for not being able to put aside my feelings and hold my head up high. But fuck seeing them together hurt so much. The break up was so fresh. I thought I was going to marry Rachel. I had to stop planning our wedding. I had to remove myself from the situation. I just hoped they understood. We approached the booth. The first thing I noticed was Taylor’s curly black hair. She drastically cuts it ever few years when it gets long. She claims it’s too hot. Taylor and Cindy sprung from the booth giving me a hug and fawning over me. I too had gotten a haircut since the last time they saw me. My hair used to hang way past my shoulders.

“Sarah told us your hair looked good but she didn’t do it justice.” Cindy air kissed my cheek. Cindy had flawless ebony skin. She wore her Afro textured hair, super tight curls, very short and cropped. Her big eyes, and impossibly lithe yet tall frame gave her a serious model vibe. Taylor was the opposite she was short, curvy and very cute. Her olive skin complimented her green eyes. In this moment I realized I missed them. I looked over at Jen and Rachel. They had chosen to stay seated. Jen gave me a shy small. Rachel’s gaze was almost cold, unreadable, definitely and her tight smile didn’t reach her eyes. Her coolness rolled over me and I looked away. Cindy and Taylor slid back into the booth. I took off my purse and leather jacket and sat beside Taylor. Jen and Rachel were on the opposite side, Sarah sat beside them.

“Sarah didn’t tell us you were coming.” Cindy gushed. “It’s so good to see you, we missed you like crazy.” Everyone around the table nodded or vocally affirmed the sentiment. Rachel looked down. This was going to be an awkward night.

“You know how stubborn this one gets, believe me it was a struggle. I wasn’t sure up until the last minute if she was coming.” I mock glared at Sarah.

“Well I’m here now and I missed you guys too. So what’s been going on?”

“Well since you asked…”Taylor launched into a long diatribe about work and her challenges. She was a paralegal and a law student. A few hours later I was still nodding and laughing in all the appropriate places as Cindy talked about her love life. I snuck a glance at Jen, she looked away when I caught her openly starring. She looked different, happier. I felt a pang in my chest. I missed our friendship, I missed the level of comfort that we shared. However she betrayed my trust. She had an affair with my fiancé essentially throwing away a nine year friendship. I haven’t spoken to her since that awful day. Who knows how long she had been listening to me bitch about Rachel and fucking her in my bed. I unclenched my fists and frowned. This is why I didn’t want to do this, the anger was very much alive. Cindy paused.

“You okay over there?”

“Yea yea sorry, I just have to use the bathroom.”

“Don’t let me hold you hostage.” I mirrored her smile. Feeling myself relax.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did.” I winked.

“Don’t tempt me.” I chuckled. Cindy and I always flirted with each other much to Rachel’s annoyance. It was harmless. I guess she was suspicious because of her own extracurricular activities.

“Ugh go already.” I beamed at Sarah and got up.

Quin

Being here was super weird. Rachel and I were completely ignoring each other.

Actually her and Jen ignored the entire table choosing only to whisper and stare loving into each other’s eyes. Ugh. So maybe I wasn’t exactly ignoring them. I was on my fifth beer and since I had skipped dinner, I was nursing a nice buzz. With each pint consumed my brooding intensified. It was becoming more difficult to smile and laugh at the right moments. I just wanted to leave and maybe get another pint at the bar. The bathroom was a welcome change of setting, I know I was only adding to the awkwardness.

The bathroom was at the back of the bar which meant I had to walk past the dance floor. Tempting as it was to hit the floor my bladder was completely full. Maybe I can convince Cindy and Sarah to comeback with me Cindy couldn’t say no to a good song and Sarah just liked to move. I made it to the washroom and as I walked in, the door open I collided into someone. I looked up and my world froze.

“Jane.” We stared at each other for what felt like eons until my bladder reminded me of my purpose here. “I have to pee. Don’t go anywhere.” She smiled.

“I'll be out here.” I used the facilities at record speed. Only slowing down to check my reflection in the mirror and wash my hands. I looked alright my eyes were a bit glassy. I stepped outside and I was immediately drawn to her figure leaning against a wall. My mouth watered, she looked up and a slow smile spread prettily across her features. It knocked the wind out of me. My heart raced as I made my way over to her.

“Hey.” I was practically breathless.

“Hey.” She smirked. She looked good. She wore black jeans, a black top with a green plaid shirt thrown over it and her good ol docs. She was definitely fuckable. I shivered. “You okay?” Her finger grazed my jaw. I was drunker than I thought. I leaned into her touch.

“You’re drunk.” She mused.

“Not really,” she dropped her hand I pouted in protest. She arched a brow. “I’m a

little tipsy.” I blushed, grateful for the low lighting. “What are you doing here?.” I leaned in close.

“I wanted to dance.” More like fuck. I ignored the sick feeling unfurling in my stomach.

She studied me closely. Then rested her hand on my waist effectively melting my misgivings. “What about you?”

“I’m here with my friends.” She nodded. “Come say hi.” I said after a beat. This was

probably a bad idea but honestly being around her relaxed me. And in my slightly impaired state that’s all I could focus on. How good she made me feel. She blinked I could tell she was about to say no. “Then we can go back to my place.” I added initially out of desperation, but once it was out there I couldn’t deny the tingling in my lower body.

“Yea?” She smiled.

“Yes.” I nodded. I knew why she was here, I wanted to be the one to be with her.

I laced her hand in mine and led her to the front of the restaurant.

Jane

I felt like an ass. I knew she knew dancing wasn’t my reason for being here but she didn’t question it. Probably because she’s drunk or tipsy. We snaked our way through the crowds until we got to a booth with about five girls sitting in it. I recognized Sarah and nodded. She returned the gesture. I realized in that moment that the conversation had stopped and everyone was staring at us. I felt uncomfortable under their collective gazes. She let go of my hand and beamed at the group. Ladies this is Jane. Mostly everyone greeted me with friendly hellos and smiles. There was a brunette with long hair and light brown eyes who refused to look at me. I suspected that was the ex. The blonde next to her seemed friendly enough. Quin sat down and motioned for me to sit. I felt jittery. Sarah the moody brunette and the blonde made room for me and I sat across from Quin. Quin smiled at me and my heart fluttered easing my nerves. Everyone around the table introduced themselves. I tried to keep up, the blonde’s name was Jen and the brunette was Rachel. Quin had mention her ex named Rachel. Based on the way Jen was clinging to Rachel she must be the ex best friend. Well this was awkward. Suddenly Rachel spoke addressing me.

“So Jane how did you and Quin meet?” I opened my mouth but Quin answered.

“We met at a bar.”

“When was this?” Cindy, I think. “You’ve been going to bars without us?” She said with mock anger.

“Ofcourse, I’m not dead.” Quin rolled her eyes jokingly. Our eyes locked, she gave

me a small smile and in a moment everything was right in the world.

“About two weeks ago on her birthday.” I smiled warmly. Everyone nodded. Cindy

exchanged a look with Jen. I felt like I was missing something.

“So uh what do you do?” Rachel continued. Her gaze intense and assessing.

“Well…” I paused “I just lost my job, so I’m job hunting.”

“What field were you in?”

“I was a secretary.” She smirked. I detected a hint of smugness. Quin frowned. It was quiet for a moment. I got the sense that they were all young professionals.

“Are you in school?” Taylor asked. Taylor was a cute girl with a cute curly cut that I’ve always wanted but wasn’t stylish enough to attempt.

“I sorta am...I’m taking a break um I was studying psychology.”

“That’s cool.” She smiled. “Sarah’s a therapist.” I nodded. There was another

awkward pause. My hands were clammy. The silence only intensified my unease.

“So what do you do with all your free time...since your not in school or working?”

Rachel asked her tone was light and innocent. I couldn’t help but notice the slight quirk at the corner of her lip. She was mocking me and she wanted me to know it. She held my gaze challenging me. I rolled my eyes.

“I spend a lot of time with Quin.” I beamed. Rachel opened her mouth then closed it.

“So we’re gonna head out.” Quin got up and shrugged on her jacket then slipped on

her purse. I had everything on already. I stood up.

“It was nice meeting you…all. My gaze swept over the table. A chorus of same to you echoed around the table. I was relieved to be leaving. Quin grabbed my hand. Warmth emanated from her touch. I smiled despite myself.

Quin

Once outside I pulled her over away from the entrance against the brick wall of the venue. Rachel was such an asshole. I should have stood up for Jane, reply with something witty. I could see that Jane was uncomfortable and I just wanted to pull the plug on that conversation quickly. I ran my hands through my hair.

“Hey.” We both leaned against the wall and stared straight ahead. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s ok…So that was Rachel.” I nodded “She’s gorgeous.” I shrugged.

“So are you.” She smiled ruefully.

“How did things play out in the end? I feel like I’m missing something.” I sighed. Of course she would pick up on that.

“I kinda disappeared after the break up. For about 6 months the only person I associated with was Sarah.”

“Okay. So is this your first time seeing your friends since that time?” I nodded.

“Jeezus. Did you even talk to your ex or your best friend after the split?”

“No.” I shook my head. “It was too much. Disappearing was easier. Besides I hated them and it’s not like they tried. They were too busy having their honeymoon.” I spat bitterly. She rubbed my arm. My bitterness ebbed away. “I’m sorry about tonight.” We faced each other.

“I think she was jealous.” She smiled.

“You’re right.” I chuckled softly.

“You don’t care that I’m unemployed.”

“No. Did you tell your employer.”

“No, to them I’ve just been away for five days so they just fired me. I got the call yesterday.”

“You should’ve told me.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. You couldn’t have done anything. Besides I shouldn’t be working right now anyway.” I nodded. She turned to me. “You ready to go?” I kissed her then. Taking her face in my hands and bringing her to my lips. It was chaste and simple but I felt it everywhere.

“Yep.” She beamed.

Quin

My body was a sea of flames. I was caught up in a riptide, getting swept away by

desire. The only thing anchoring me in place was the weight of her body and the promise of more. She was on top of me on my coach. Her lips locked with mine after we stumbled upstairs. I was laughing at a stupid joke she had told me that was now long forgotten. I couldn’t think with the pressure of her body pinning me down. My head swam as she teased me with her lips and tongue. Biting, licking, sucking. I shivered. Every touch, every suck and every lick, fueled the flames. I was an effervescent mess, bubbly like champagne. I was being consumed by the fervour. I moaned as her hands slid under my shirt and toyed with my sides. She moved away from my lips and nibbled on my neck.

“Quin we should stop now...or keep going.” Her voice breathy. I groaned. She tugged on my ear with her teeth. I didn’t want to stop but there was some part of me that knew we shouldn’t have started in the first place. But God I wanted her and my judgement was already cloudy from the beers. Also she wasn’t making it easy...to stop. She kissed a path to my collarbone and sucked. I arched into the kiss as pathetic noises dripped from my lips. She nipped me. There was no pain but it was enough of a shock to bring clarity to my foggy senses. This felt so good but I didn’t want to hook up like this. I wanted it to mean something to her.

“Let’s stop.” I groaned as she eased off me. I sat up and she plopped down beside me. We were both heaving.

“Are you sure about this?”

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” She rolled her eyes.

“I jumped you remember.” I blushed how could I forget. She kissed my cheek and gave it a quick pinch. “Your so cute.” I smiled. She dug out her phone from her pocket. “I have to text my parents they want to know where I am and when I’ll be home.”

“Spend the night.” I blurted out. She raised a brow. “I won’t jump you.” She laughed.

“I wouldn’t stop you if you did.”

“It’s getting late, it’s not safe for you to be out.”

“It’s 11 o’clock.” She exaggerated an eye roll. I pouted. I wasn’t ready to watch her go yet. “Alright I’ll stay.” She laughed. “But that look doesn’t work on me.” I smirked. I jumped up and gave a big wet kiss on the lips. She laughed some more pushing me away. After she finished texting her parents she slipped her phone into her pocket.

“So what now?” Her voice was quiet yet filled with mirth. My stomach flipped. I ached for her.

“We can watch a movie.” She looked around.

“There’s no tv in here.”

“It’s in my bedroom.” I smiled sheepishly.

“Are you sure you're not trying to seduce me?” Her insufferable smirk thrilled me. I grabbed her hand and tugged her towards my room.

Jane

She made me take off my jeans before sitting on her bed. I didn’t miss the way her eyes ate up my bare legs. Thank God I had shaved and moisturised. I was preparing for something, I didn’t realize it would be this. from beneath the covers I watched her get undressed down to her underwear. My insides clenched I had forgot how amazing and strong she looked. She quickly threw on a shirt over her pink bra. I openly stared at her ass, she was wearing a thong.

“Why don’t you take a picture…” She slipped under the covers beside me.

“Can I?”

“No. So what do you want to watch?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Her flat screen was mounted above her dresser. “Come here.”

She looked at me skeptically. “I won’t bite I promise, I just want to cuddle.” She sighed warily, but she came and rested her head on my shoulder. We lay together for a few minutes in comfortable silence. I was enjoying the weight of her head resting on my shoulder and the sound of her rhythmic breathing.

“Why were you at the club tonight?” Her tone serious. I paused. I was glad that I had run into her but embarrassed at my reason for being there.

“I wanted to meet someone...I wanted to forget about you not wanting me, like this.”

I’m sure she already knew it, that I wanted to lose myself through fucking. It’s funny even though that’s all I wanted I couldn’t even pick anyone up. I didn’t approach anyone and anyone who approached me I politely gave the brush off. Yea I wanted to forget Quin but I just couldn’t.

“You have no idea how badly I want to rip your clothes off.” She delivered the statement without an ounce of playfulness. Some of the hardness inside me softened. She angled her body toward me and intertwined her legs with mine. She scooted closer to me, gently kissing my cheek.

“Yea?”

“Yea. It just wouldn’t be fair to you.” I sighed. “If I was in your place wouldn’t you feel the same way.”

“I guess.” i relented.

“I don’t want to be a tool to help you forget. I want something meaningful. And it would be asking too much of you right now. I can wait.” My heart sang. For a moment everything fell away, the sadness and the weight of it. The only thing present was her. I bent my head and kissed her softly, slowly and deliberately. The heat simmered between us. She pulled away and we lost track of the world around us as we stared into each other’s eyes.