Divine Intervention - 4. Noah and the Kitchen Faucet

Fall 1988

Joe woke on Tuesday morning thinking that he had put in a fair day’s work on Monday and that he might finish the job early. His thinking was distracted by the swelling in his groin that was demanding attention. He knew that if he didn’t take care of it before he left for work that he would be fighting erections all day. His mind turned to the handsome priest, Fr. Thomas, and he quickly finished the job at hand. He was surprised at the amount of output but chuckled as he headed into the shower.

He kept his apartment immaculate as there was so little of it. If one thing was out of place the entire place looked a mess. Joe finished his coffee, juice and cereal and washed the dishes quickly before he went down to his truck. He was smiling as he drove to St. Anselm’s. He went to the Parish Hall to get a key and Fr. Thomas said he would unlock the church. Joe had told Fr. Thomas the day before that he would be there early to open the church. Fr. Thomas had already turned on the lights, checked the heating, and then said he had to leave for the morning service in the chapel. It was 10 o’clock when Fr. Thomas came strolling up the center aisle and asked Joe how the work was progressing. Joe smiled and told him that it was going well. He said that it turned out to be a bit more complicated than he originally thought but that he would finish it within the time frame specified. Thomas was concerned that Joe had underbid the job and told him that if it cost more quoted to let him know. Joe immediately countered that the price would not change and that he might finish a little early on Wednesday.

“If you finish early then I will feed you supper as a reward.”

Joe looked at the priest and didn’t know how to respond. He looked up and saw the tall good-looking man, and thought it might be nice to talk with him about the church. Joe then smiled and said they had a deal. He was then determined that he would finish earlier than he had planned. Thomas smiled also wondering what he was going to feed the good looking carpenter.

Joe had stopped attending the Presbyterian Church a few years prior when he married. He went with his wife to the Catholic Church but had never really participated in the service. The Catholic priest continued to harangue him about taking the Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults classes so he could be baptized and confirmed in the church. Joe always hesitated. He had been raised in a Presbyterian household where Catholics were not held in high esteem. He decided he wasn’t going to answer to some Pope in Rome. He wasn’t too sure about the Archbishop of Canterbury either.

Just before lunchtime on Wednesday, Joe went to the Parish Hall to let Fr. Thomas know he had finished the work. Thomas was heading into the noon-time service and invited Joe to join them. Joe reluctantly agreed to go to the service not knowing what to expect. Since it was the mid-week service there were a good number of people in the chapel. Joe felt underdressed in his coveralls, flannel shirt and work boots. He decided to sit in the back. Fr. Thomas started the service and Joe followed along in the Prayer Book. He noticed that most people had the service memorized and did not need the book. He stumbled getting up and down but no one paid attention. Some people sat through the entire service so he didn’t feel out of place. When it came time for communion, Joe didn’t go up to the altar. He wasn’t sure if he was allowed. Certainly, in the Catholic Church he was not allowed. His wife, her family and the priest had made that clear to him. He put his head down like he was praying and stayed in his seat. There was a final prayer and everyone stood as Fr. Thomas exited the chapel.

Joe gave him a few minutes and then went back to the office. Thomas walked out and said they should go inspect the work so that Joe could be paid. Thomas had already arranged for a check to be waiting for Joe. He didn’t want him to submit an invoice, then wait for it to be sent to the Treasurer, then a check would be written and the Treasurer would bring it to the church on Sunday. That was all too time consuming.

They walked in the church and Thomas reverenced the altar. Joe nodded his head not sure quite why he was doing that. They looked at the work and Joe said that no one would know it had been repaired it was so good. It looked just like the original work. Joe smiled and said it was a real pleasure for him to work on something so special.

Joe agreed to be at Fr. Thomas’ at 7 pm for dinner that night. As Joe was leaving, he turned to Thomas and said, “by the way, where do you live?” Thomas laughed and explained the layout of the church property and where his front stoop was located. Joe said he was looking forward to a good meal and thanked Thomas again for the work at the church. Joe wasn’t sure if he would finish the work on time so did not have any work lined up for the next morning. He thought it would be nice to sleep in.

Joe was an adherent to the clock and rang the doorbell at precisely 7 pm. Thomas opened the door and invited him in. Joe had on a pair of chinos and a navy blue sweater over his white shirt. It was getting colder outside and he wasn’t sure about the heat in such a big old house. Thomas also had on a pair of chinos and was wearing a button down oxford cloth shirt. The collar was open and Joe could see his clavicle. He caught his breath at the beauty of the man.

Thomas gave Joe a tour of the house except for the basement. The house was beautifully decorated but was starting to show some wear and tear from deferred maintenance. They were small problems but Joe knew they would turn into big problems if not corrected. They ended up in the library where Thomas poured them a drink. There was a fire in the fireplace which made the room toasty and inviting.

“Let me go to the kitchen to check on something and I will be back with some canapes.”

Joe nodded his head and was looking at some historic maps hanging over the book cases. He heard the yelp and immediately set down his glass. He quickly moved to the kitchen where Thomas was trying to stop water from shooting out of the kitchen faucet hose. Thomas was soaked.

Joe dropped to his knees and opened the lower cabinet doors. He tried to turn off the water but the valve handles were frozen in place.

“Where is the water turn-off valve for the house?”

Joe looked like a deer in headlights. Water was still spraying everywhere.

“Wait here. It should be in the basement on the front wall.”

Thomas heard Joe run down the basement stairs and then the water stopped. He stood in a huge pool of water. He heard the front door close. When the door bell rang Thomas knew that Joe had locked himself out of the house. Thomas was soaked and did not want to track water through the house so he stripped to his wet skivvies and walked to the door. Joe stood there and could not help gawking at the handsome, well built man in front of him. Joe had a tool box in his hand and said he could fix the problem in no time. He, too, was soaking wet. They went back to the kitchen and Joe fixed the faucet as Thomas mopped the floor. He took his clothes and put them in the laundry. He was wondering what to do when Thomas asked him for a wrench. Thomas located it in the tool box and passed it under the sink to Joe. It wasn’t long before Joe told him that he had fixed it but the entire faucet set was worn out and needed replacing. The water was turned back on and there was no spraying geyser. Joe looked at Thomas and turned beet red. The priest was standing in front of him and Joe could see the outline of his penis through his wet underwear. Thomas’ hair was still plastered down from all of the water and there were droplets that ran down his chest. Thomas looked at Joe and saw a man drenched from head to toe. He suggested they go upstairs to take showers. Joe said he didn’t have any dry clothes so Thomas said he could take them off and he would put them in the dryer. Joe nodded and proceeded to disrobe in the kitchen. Thomas could barely contain himself he was so taken by the ginger haired man standing in front of him. Joe dropped everything including his boxers. Thomas immediately boned up and turned his body so he wouldn’t be so bloody obvious.

Somehow, Thomas got the clothes in the dryer and turned it on. He then returned to the kitchen to find Joe standing in the middle of the floor looking lost.

“Follow me.”

Up the stairs they went with Joe looking at Thomas’ underwear clad ass. The fabric was wet and clung to each cheek. Joe immediately dropped his hands in front of his junk to cover his erection. Thomas pointed to a bath and told Joe there were towels in there.

“I will get you a robe to wear while our clothes are in the dryer.”

After they both had showered and put on robes they went back downstairs to the kitchen.

“Let’s eat in the library in front of the fireplace.”

Joe moved stacks of books and magazines off the table in front of the sofa. Thomas prepared their plates and then poured two fingers of scotch in each of their thistle embossed glasses. They sat on the comfortable sofa and ate the dinner that Thomas had prepared. There was little conversation as they couldn’t figure out what to say. When dessert was served, Thomas poured them each a brandy. Thomas swirled the amber liquid in the glass and took a big sniff.

Joe could see that Thomas was cutting his eyes and looking at him. He started smiling. They both let out an audible sigh.

“Well, that’s not what I was expecting to happen tonight. Thank you very much for saving me from the flood.” Thomas looked over and noticed that Joe had stretched out his legs and was sitting with his back pushed back into the corner of the sofa. He looked slightly drunk.

“It is a good thing that I carry my tools in my truck. It wouldn’t have taken long before some real damage happened.”

A comfortable silence then ensued. Thomas heard the dryer complete its cycle but decided not to say anything. He was enjoying this time with Joe and did not want it to end. He kept looking into the fire and taking sniffs of the brandy.

He heard the chime from the tall case clock in the foyer. It was going on eleven o’clock. He looked over and saw that Joe was asleep. Thomas quietly cleaned up the library and crept upstairs to make sure the guest room was ready for company. He then went back downstairs and gently shook Joe’s shoulder. Joe startled awake and apologized.

“You are sleeping here tonight. I have made up the bed in the guest bedroom. We can get up early in the morning so you can get to your next job. I will fix us breakfast since I am working from home.”

They both climbed the stairs and Thomas showed Joe his room. He closed the door and then walked the hall to his bedroom. His deep desire was to invite Joe to sleep with him but he wasn’t sure if his invitation would be accepted. He was so afraid of rejection that he didn’t make the offer. Joe meanwhile was lying in his bed wondering if it was untoward to ask Thomas if he could join him. It had been awhile since he slept with anyone and he needed the human contact.

The men tossed and turned in their respective bedrooms. It was still dark when the alarm clock went off. Thomas got out of bed and then washed his face, cleaned his teeth and ran a comb through his hair. He quietly went downstairs and turned up the heat, then he went to the kitchen where he put on a pot of coffee. He opened a canister and started measuring flour for the raisin scones he was going to prepare. He reached into the refrigerator for butter and cut grapefruit marmalade. He had found a British shop where he procured all things English. As he turned to put things on the table he saw Joe standing in the doorway. He looked lost.

“Good morning, Joe. I hope you slept well last night. Here, let me pour you a cup of coffee.”

Joe moved into the kitchen without saying a word. He sat at the table with his uncombed hair, his day old beard and a headache. He was not a drinker and just the bit from the night before had done him in.

“What do you want in your coffee?”

“Nothing, thanks.”

The mug was set in front of Joe and he blew across the top to cool the beverage. He needed caffeine but didn’t want to burn his mouth. Finally, he took a sip. Ahhhh, good coffee. He thought he might live.

Thomas was busy with the coffee, pouring juice and getting the scones from the oven. Joe couldn’t remember the last time he had a scone. Probably when he visited his parents. His mum always made scones.

When they finished, Joe got up and started washing the dishes. Thomas grabbed a drying towel and before long the two men had the kitchen clean.

“My clothes?”

Thomas went to the laundry and pulled Joe’s clothes from the dryer. They were wrinkled. He offered to iron them but Joe told them there was no need.

“Did you say you have the day off?”

“Well, not a day off but I work from home today. I will be here writing my sermon for Sunday.”

“Fine, I will be back in an hour with a new faucet to replace that antique you have. Your name is not Noah and you don’t want to be dealing with another flood.”

Thomas started to object but Joe walked up to him and put his hand across Thomas’ mouth.

“No objections allowed. This is a gift for dinner and letting me spend the night.”

Joe let himself out the front door.

Thomas stood in the middle of the kitchen not sure what had just happened but was glad that Joe was returning.

An hour later, the front doorbell rang and Joe was standing there with a new faucet. He told Thomas it wouldn’t take long. He made himself busy with the work and within thirty minutes had completed the job.

Joe left and Thomas found himself at loose ends. The sermon would not write itself but he couldn’t focus on the gospel and writing another sermon. He went upstairs and picked up the pillow on the bed where Joe had slept. He held it to his nose and breathed in a fragrance he was not familiar with. It was Joe’s cologne. He went back downstairs, put a couple of logs in the fireplace and curled up on the sofa with a blanket and Joe’s pillow under his head. As he fell asleep, he was smelling Joe and he was at peace.