Divine Intervention - 9. Lord Posh v. Mr. Highlander

November 1988

It had been a few weeks since Joe did his work at the church and had then repaired Thomas’ faucet. He had wanted to call Thomas but didn’t know what to say. Suppose he got the brush off. He couldn’t stand that. He was so lonely but realized that he only had to go down to the coffee shop on a Saturday morning and he would find someone to share his bed. He didn’t want that either. He wanted someone to share his life. He knew there was chemistry between he and Thomas but couldn’t decide whether it was possible to live as a couple with a priest. He wasn’t going to sneak in and out and pretend it wasn’t happening. He lived an honest life. Even when things were at their worst with Valentina, he honored the marriage and did not seek out sexual partners. His heart and mind didn’t work that way.

Joe awoke on a Sunday morning and decided he was going to church. He hadn’t been to a church service since he and Valentina had broken up. Actually, they hadn’t broken up; she had kicked him out. He had gone to the Wednesday service when he was making repairs at St. Anselm but he didn’t know if that counted since it wasn’t on Sunday. He showered and took extra care with shaving. He didn’t want to be seen as unworthy by those uppity Episcopalians. At least that is what his mother had called them. She was a solid, down to earth Presbyterian woman who couldn’t tolerate those Church of England types. After all, she was Scottish and not English. She always thought of them as the invaders. How long had it been since the Battle of Culloden? It didn’t matter even though she was now “American.” That didn’t matter either. She still lived as if she was in the bonny beinns of Scotland even though she lived in the suburbs of Philadelphia.

Joe got out his suit. His only suit. Church, funeral, wedding –he wore it to all of them. He did have two neck ties; one black for funerals and the other one red for everything else. He tried to remember the last time he had worn his suit. A flood of memories came flashing back and he saw himself standing beside the hole in the earth where his father’s remains were lowered in a plain pine casket; the casket Joe had made after being given specific instructions from his father. There was another matching casket for his mother. That one was stored in the basement of the home where he had lived until he and Valentina were married. He had worn his black tie that day.

Joe tried to get his curly red hair under control that morning but that one lock still wanted to fall across his forehead. Let it be, he thought. His big hands fumbled with the necktie and he finally felt it was acceptable. He did not look into the mirror to see if he was presentable. He was not vain in that way. Mirrors held no fascination for him. He only wanted to look good for one person. He smiled when he thought of Thomas.

Joe parked his truck on the street two blocks from the church. It didn’t seem right that a man would drive a pick-up truck to church unless he lived in the rural south and that was the only vehicle he owned. Joe didn’t have a car; he didn’t want or need one. That was the Scottish in him. He considered it a waste of money for a car to be sitting day after day while he drove his work vehicle. Let them look down on me, he thought. They were probably posh folks who could afford to go to such a big, fancy church. He frowned thinking that he had made a mistake to come to church that Sunday. When he first met with Mack and Anne from the church, he knew they were money people. There he was dressed in his work clothes and Mack was wearing a suit that probably cost more than he earned in a week. And Anne had on a silk dress and her fingers were covered in diamond rings. Yes, they were nice to him that day probably the same way they were nice to the trades people who worked for them. He hated being patronized because he wore work clothes and still had a bit of a burr in his voice. He was an upstanding man who gave people a good value for the work that he did. So, what if he lived in a one-bedroom apartment, he had money in the bank and could move to someplace nicer if he wanted. He was always presentable. He paid his bills on time.

What Joe did not see about himself was the extremely handsome man he had become. He was tall and stocky with chiseled features. The shock of reddish hair offset his green eyes, his freckled cheeks and his sumptuous mouth. His hands were those of a workman. Big. Rough. Callused. Yes, he did have a secret habit which he found off-putting but was very helpful. Every Saturday morning he had a manicure. He had the little Vietnamese woman soak his hands in some sort of solution and then massage them before trimming the nails and taking care of his cuticles. It was an indulgence but worth it given that the winter weather was rough on a man’s hands who worked outside for a living. His mother would have called him a Nancyboy if she knew. Only girly boys had manicures. Joe depended on his hands for his work and he saw it as an investment in taking care of his tools. The same way that he cleaned his hand tools before they were put away after each job, he took care of his hands. He looked down to make sure they looked like manly hands. He wasn’t some gangster who wore clear nail polish. His hands were rough but clean; after the manicure he would always let them use a special lotion on his hands that made them feel good. The first time he went they used a scented lotion that made him think of a woman. The next time he asked if they had lotion that wasn’t scented. He lied and told them he had an allergy to scents. He just didn’t want to say to the woman he didn’t like anything feminine. He wasn’t girly and didn’t want anyone to think of him in that way. The manicurist smiled and reached for a bottle of non-scent lotion. He never had to ask again; she remembered his preference. He bought some of the same lotion and put it on his hands every night after he had a shower. He had even considered getting a pedicure because wearing steel toed boots everyday had led to calluses on his feet. Nobody saw his feet and he had not considered it a priority. Maybe Thomas would want to see them so Joe had decided to book extra time for Ling to take care of his feet also.

Joe walked up the front steps of the church. He was nervous. He had been to Catholic church services enough to know what to expect. After being welcomed and handed a bulletin he stepped into the nave. He didn’t see the baptismal font to dip his fingers and cross himself. Hmmm, maybe this was different. He reverenced the altar and sat in the back pew. On the end. Toward the aisle. He could sneak out if the service got too uncomfortable. No need to be closer and be conspicuous. He would hide out here.

The processional hymn started and Joe stood. He caught sight of Thomas as the procession passed him by. Joe wasn’t singing, he didn’t do that. Thomas was singing in a loud, clear tenor voice which sounded beautiful to Joe’s ears. He wasn’t knowledgeable about music but he knew what he liked and he liked hearing Thomas sing. Joe heard a slight catch in Thomas’ voice as he passed by and saw him. A smile crossed Thomas’ face and he continued to sing with gusto.

Joe relaxed and knew that he was going to be alright. Nothing was happening that he didn’t understand. Thomas said it was Christ the King Sunday, the last Sunday in the church year. He then gave an inspiring sermon that made Joe smile knowing that it had been well received by the congregation. Joe was okay until it came time for the offering of the peace. People were moving over to shake his hand and welcome him. Joe felt like his feet were glued to the floor; he was unmovable. Joe saw Thomas approaching. He was shaking hands with people and smiling but would constantly catch Joe’s eye. Joe didn’t know what to do. Thomas was upon him and said, “The peace of the Lord.” Joe parroted it back. Then Thomas was moving back up the aisle. At announcements, Thomas mentioned that the following Sunday started Advent. He then reminded the youth about the Christmas pageant and they would be unpacking everything to get it ready. He also said they would be looking for volunteers because the scenery needed replacing after many years. Thomas looked at Joe as he said they needed a good carpenter to help them build the new scenery.

Joe knelt throughout the Eucharist. He thought he was not allowed to take communion even though Thomas said that everyone was welcome at the Lord’s table. Joe knew he wasn’t worthy; the Catholic priest had made that clear enough. The service ended with a recessional hymn. Joe quickly stood and just wanted to leave without talking with anyone. He wasn’t fast enough and Mack came up and welcomed him. He also said they were so pleased with his work and asked if they could they call on him again if something needed fixing. Joe was happy to accept the offer of potential work. You never knew when a rainy day was coming.

Joe walked through the Narthex and saw Thomas standing at the door. Joe straightened his back and stuck out his hand. He was trying to figure out what to say when he realized he was standing in front of the man.

“Good to see you again, Father.”

“Joe, it was good to have you here today. Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure. What do you need? Not another leaking faucet is it?” Joe smiled.

“No. Could you take a look at the scenery for the Christmas pageant and tell me what we should do?”

“Okay. When do you want to do that?”

“Are you free this afternoon?”

“I can be.” Thomas gave a big smile.

“Well, you will need to change clothes because it is stored in the undercroft and it is fairly dirty down there.”

They agreed on a time for later in the day and Joe left elated. He knew it wasn’t a paying job but it might bring him back in contact with Thomas on a regular basis.

Joe went back to his apartment. He had washed his work clothes and they were in a stack in his closet. He had enough work clothes for each day in the week. Every Saturday he washed them. He had thought about buying more in case he wasn’t able to wash one Saturday but that seemed like a waste of money to him. He put on clean work clothes and thought he might have to wash sometime during the week. He wanted to look nice for Thomas.

At 2 pm, Joe pulled up to the parish hall. The door was unlocked and Thomas was in his office. Joe walked in and Thomas just started grinning. Joe couldn’t help himself and he started grinning also. They were moving toward each other when they heard a voice calling for Thomas. Joe froze like he had been caught doing something bad. It was the Elaine, Director of Christian Education, and her husband. They wanted to be present to find out what Thomas wanted to do. Afterall, she would direct the pageant.

“Elaine and Bill, meet Joe McKendry. He recently did some repair work in the church and at the rectory and he has agreed to look at the scenery. Hopefully he can help us figure out what to do.”

Joe shook their hands and Thomas said it was time to go downstairs. They entered the church building and they went down a set of circular stone steps to the undercroft. Thomas found a light switch and Joe noted that the place could do with a good cleaning and straightening up. It was a mess and smelled dank. Joe helped Thomas move some things and there were the set pieces. They were made of plywood and had been painted. They were quaint in a late 1950s sort of way. All the pieces were outlined in big old-fashioned Christmas lights. Joe noted the frayed electrical cords. The center section was eight feet high and was hinged into a tryptic; three pieces of plywood. There were also palm trees, a crib, painted animals and the Star of Bethlehem. The bottom of each panel was rotted where it had been setting on a damp basement floor. When they tried to set up the palm trees, one came crashing down and the trunk split into three pieces.

Elaine said they loved the quaintness of the design but it seemed that none of the pieces were good enough to work.

“If you want to recreate this, I can do that for you. You would have to find someone who can paint the sets. I can barely paint a room; I am not an artist.”

Elaine had ideas of updating the set and she and Joe talked. He told her to have sketches to him in a couple of days and he would spend the next Saturday building it.

“We only have one problem.”

Everyone looked at Elaine.

“We don’t have the money to build a new set. I was hoping we could repair the old one which wouldn’t cost much money.”

Joe looked at the floor for a few seconds, and then in a quiet voice said he would get the materials donated and that his time was a gift to the church.

“I will even get them to donate the paint if you tell me what you want.”

Thomas beamed. Elaine hugged Joe which made his blush. Bill grabbed Joe’s hand and was shaking it.

“Well, it seems like we have a plan. Let’s go over to the rectory and have a drink to celebrate.” They left through the back door, walked across the close, and entered the kitchen door of the rectory. Joe immediately took off his work boots. He didn’t want to muddy up the kitchen floor. The others followed Joe’s lead and removed their shoes. Joe made a mental note to purchase a boot tray to put beside the back door. He then thought he should get one for the front entrance also. They would be a gift to Thomas.

They went into the library and Thomas asked Joe to build a fire while he got everyone a drink. After the fire ignited, Joe heard Thomas call him from the kitchen. Joe hoped it wasn’t another water leak. Instead, he found Thomas putting together a tray of finger foods for them to eat. Joe carried the food tray while Thomas carried the drinks. It felt natural for them to be working together – they instinctively worked well together.

Thomas turned on the classical radio station and they listened to music while talking. Elaine and Bill wanted to know more about Joe. He gave them brief answers. He wasn’t used to sharing his private information with other people. When Elaine and Bill finished their drinks, they thanked Thomas for the drink and Elaine told Joe she would have him the information by noon on Monday. Thomas let them out the kitchen door. Elaine had keys and could get into the parish hall and from there to the church parking lot.

Thomas picked up Joe’s glass and went to the kitchen to refresh their drinks. When he returned they both settled into the leather sofa. Thomas moved a leather hassock in front of the sofa and put his feet up. Joe put his up there also. By the time they finished their second drink, they were playing footsies. They turned their heads and looked at each other. Joe’s mouth became very dry. He knew he couldn’t speak.

“I hope this is okay. I like you.”

Joe nodded his head. They continued to look at each other and smile. Then Joe’s eyes filled with tears. He could only see a blur. Thomas scooted over and pulled the man into his arms. Joe felt like a wimp. Maybe he was a Nancyboy. Thomas felt like the caregiver he was. Suddenly, Joe grabbed Thomas in an embrace and kissed him. Once the kiss ended, they became very tender as they continued to lean back into the sofa and hold each other’s hands.

“Thomas, I like you mightily, I do. I don’t know how to date a priest.”

“The same as you date anyone else, I suppose.”

“No, but you are a man of God. What would your congregation or bishop say? I won’t disrespect myself or you by sneaking around. I am not made that way.”

Thomas slid his body next to Joe and pulled Joe’s arm across his shoulder. He liked being held by the man.

“My congregation knows I am gay. They are encouraging me to find a partner. The bishop is okay and knows that I am gay. He wouldn’t be happy if I was sleeping around. If I started dating, I would let the Vestry and bishop know. I am open and transparent. I would like to tell them I am dating you.”

Joe was startled by the statement. He wanted to date Thomas.

“I need to take this nice and slow, Thomas. I like you but I need to go really slow.”

Joe leaned in and kissed Thomas again.

“I need to go. I have to get ready for work tomorrow.”

Thomas held tight to Joe and wouldn’t let him stand.

“Is that how we are going to end the day? Our big boys are rather prominent right now. They like what we are doing. When will I see you again?”

“I will stop by tomorrow to pick up Elaine’s ideas. I will see you then. Think on it and let’s plan to talk tomorrow about dating. I have to think with my head and not my dick. When my dick has made the decisions, they have often been wrong. I don’t want it to be wrong with you. I like you, Lord Posh.”

“Lord Posh, eh? Well, I like you to Mr. Highlander.”

They both stood and hugged each other.

“Thomas you have to let me go so I can leave.” Thomas held on and then kissed Joe again.

“I know, but I am afraid you will disappear again.”

“Tomorrow. I will see you tomorrow. I will bring burgers for lunch and we can eat together.”

“Until the morrow, then.”

Joe put on his boots and Thomas walked him across the close, through the parish hall and out to the parking lot where his truck was ready to take him home. Thomas pulled him in for another kiss. Joe backed away with fright in his eyes.

“Joe, if we date, I mean to love you with my whole heart. I will not skulk around. I am not capable of hiding my love. We don’t have to do a lot of public affection but I plan to kiss you when we are parting and kiss you when we are greeting. Sometimes I will reach out and grab your hand and hold it.”

Joe stood for a minute looking at the ground. Thomas thought he had crossed the ultimate line in the sand and that Joe couldn’t live with it. Instead, Joe looked up, a smile crossed his face and he pulled Thomas into a kiss that made his knees buckle.

“That my lad, is how a Scotsman kisses.”

Joe got in his truck and drove off while Thomas stood immobile with a smile across his face.