The Box - 9. Chapter 9

July 5, 1999

We’d taken a break after that first exhausting round and enjoyed beautiful Bermuda. The staff had made us a wonderful dinner, and now we were all sitting around the table having an after-dinner drink. I was a little nervous about going on, based on what we’d already read. JP was acting like none of this was bothering him, which meant that it was. But Brad was looking at me intently, and so were the others. I looked at JP and got the slightest nod from him, and pressed on.

November 22, 1941

Maybe instead of pledging to write every day, I’ll promise to write monthly. That way I’ll at least achieve my goal. That seems to be how often I’m doing it anyway. Only I’ve got huge news to report here, but I should catalog what’s been happening first. It won’t take too long. I’ve actually had a pretty good month. Things with Aaron are pretty much where they were. We’re best friends and we fuck. I love him, he doesn’t love me. Same thing as before.

We’re still going up to see my aunt for French lessons, only we always go together. It’s like Aaron can’t trust himself to be alone with her. I didn’t tell him that I’d fucked her, because after he blew me off when I told him I loved him, I just haven’t felt like I can be as open with him as before. I don’t think he’s noticed the difference, which is good. I’m not doing it to punish him; I’m doing it to protect myself. Besides, if I told him about it, he’d probably want to have a threesome with her, and our French lessons would turn into a big orgy. They were uncomfortable enough as it was, but we were getting pretty good. At French, that is.

Apparently there was some confusion about who was hosting Thanksgiving dinner. My mom thought it was us, but it was supposed to be my aunt and uncle. I gave her a bad time about it, enough to piss her off. But she did a really nice thing anyway. She had bought this big huge turkey, but since we weren’t doing Thanksgiving, she drove over to Aaron’s house and gave it to his mother. His parents thought that was pretty swell. Feeding all those hungry boys can’t be cheap.

We went up to the Cramptons’ for Thanksgiving, although I didn’t see what there was to be that thankful for. The whole world was in flames. The Germans were almost to Moscow and were sinking the Royal Navy one ship at a time, and the Japanese were blowing up China. Last week England lost one of its newest aircraft carriers, the Ark Royal, sunk by a U-boat. This week it was an Australian cruiser, the HMAS Sydney. Couldn’t anyone beat the fucking Germans? Winston Churchill keeps making all these speeches. He should shut the fuck up and spend his time firing all his generals and admirals.

Jim was in rare form, being a complete asshole. He tried to give me shit about Barbie, which is pretty ridiculous since she is so much prettier than any of the girls he dates. Then just when I was ready to beat the shit out of him, he’d go hang out with his father and give me this shit-eating grin. I was really pissed off at him, but I kept my cool. He didn’t seem to get it, get that he was pushing me to my limit. Or maybe that’s what he was trying to do. We were sitting in the living room, and he starts in on Aaron.

“So Maman, you manage to teach that dumb football player French yet?” he asked my aunt. My eyes bulged.

“Do not be rude,” she’d snapped back at him.

“Oh he’s just joking around,” my uncle had said.

“Yeah, well he’s not very funny,” I said, glaring at them. My uncle looked back at me, challenging me with his eyes, but I didn’t back down. Fuck both of them. “You mind if I go lie down until dinner?”

“Not at all,” my aunt said, and guided me back to the guest room. As soon as we got there, she walked in and closed and locked the door. I looked at her and knew exactly what she wanted, and I wanted it too. In no time at all, her skirt was hiked up, my pants were down, and we fucked intensely for about five minutes until I blew. A few minutes to get ourselves back together, and she went back out to see everyone. I lay there on the bed grinning, thinking about how cool it was to come up here and fuck my aunt in my uncle’s house under his very nose.

I actually did doze off after that; I guess the sex wore me out. I was dreaming, I don’t know about what, when I felt this soft hand on my cheek. I opened my eyes to see JP looking down at me. “It’s almost time for dinner. I came to wake you up.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks, JP!” I’ve noticed that the more we interact, the less shy he gets. He is almost relaxed around me now. He’s a neat little kid, not nearly as bratty as Billy. Anyway, I felt guilty for fucking his mom, but he was too young to figure it out anyway. I got up; washed off my face and made sure my shirt was tucked in, and then headed out of the guest room toward the dining room. I had just walked into the hall when Jim came out of his room.

I walked up to him and saw fear in his eyes. I grabbed him by the collar and slammed him up against the wall. He was such a big pussy when he was away from his friends or his father. “You keep shooting off your mouth and I’m going to introduce you to a whole new kind of pain, you got that, asshole?” I’d said between gritted teeth.

“Let me go,” he said loudly, trying to attract attention. He pissed me off so bad I kneed him in the balls really hard, and then let him go. He fell to the floor, and I just walked off to the dining room. We were all sitting down, waiting for Jim. My aunt finally sent JP to go get him, and he came out, still grimacing.

“Are you alright son?” my uncle had asked. I smirked at him, daring him to tell them I’d kicked him in the balls.

“I’m fine,” he’d said grumpily. After that I had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner.

Then yesterday I’d had a really incredible day, one of the coolest days of my life so far. Barbie and I double-dated with Aaron and Allison. Aaron wanted to drive, because he’d been working really hard on his Dodge and it was looking pretty keen. I was great with that. We went dancing, then went up on Skyline and parked. I was really glad that he’d driven, since that meant we were in the back seat.

Aaron and Allison started making out, so we did too. Only this time Barbie seemed like she was really into it. Normally I was kind of listening to Aaron while he messed around with Allison, because I liked to hear him grunt and moan, but tonight Barbie was so hyped up she had all my attention. I worked on her boobs like my aunt had taught me, and then I moved my hand up her thigh, wondering if she’d let me play with her pussy. Sometimes she did, but she hadn’t in a while. I’d been kind of disappointed, because I wanted to try out all my new moves, but I just went with the flow. Aaron kept my hormones under control.

Tonight she let me, and I started playing with her little nub, just like my aunt taught me. She was moaning into my mouth like crazy, and I got her so excited she let me take her panties all the way off, the first time that had happened when we weren’t in bathing suits. So I moved in again and put my finger inside her, curving it up, hitting that other spot, and she really liked that a lot. I moved my mouth down and started working her nub with my tongue while I played with her spot with my finger. She lay there, writhing around and moaning, forgetting that we weren’t alone in the car. I moved up then, and undid my pants.

“We can’t do that,” she said.

“Yes we can,” I told her. “I brought protection. Please?” I begged. I watched her eyes in the dim light, saw the resolution fade as I worked her with my fingers. She pulled my head to her and kissed me while I slipped the rubber on. Then I was on her, pushing in. It seemed to hurt her a little at first, but I went slow. It was like I was trying to break through something. She cried out, but then I was in. I started to move in and out of her, going slow so I’d last.

“Oh God, Steve, that feels so good,” she whispered in my ear.

“You feel so good,” I told her back, repeating her words, not that she cared. I kept going slowly, really moving my hips to drive my dick into her spot. She seemed to be getting really excited, and so was I. I started to pick up my pace, and she grabbed my head and pulled me into a kiss, only she didn’t want to kiss me, she wanted to scream into my mouth. She came unglued; I guess she came. I know I did. I blasted and blasted, filling up the condom, hoping it wouldn’t break. As soon as I was done, I pulled out and pulled the condom off.

We sat up and Aaron and Allison turned around and gave us dirty looks. “Are you guys done?” he asked rudely. That pissed me off. I watched him fuck around with Allison lots of times. What made this any different?

“I gotta pee,” I said. “Let me out.” He grudgingly moved the seat to let me out. I walked over to the bushes and tossed the used condom in the tree, and peed. Then we took the girls home. He didn’t say anything as we drove over to my house. When we got there, I asked him if he wanted to come in.

“No,” he’d snapped. God, he was moody.

“What now?” I demanded. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I gotta get home.” I didn’t move, just demanding that he talk to me. “Are you gonna get out, or are you coming home with me?”

“I want to know why you’re pissed off at me,” I said.

“You fucked her in my car,” he said.

“So,” I answered. “You’ve fucked Allison in my car.”

“You guys made enough noise to wake the whole town up,” he grumbled.

“What can I say? She liked it,” I joked. He gave me a sideways look. “Come on up.”

“I gotta go,” he repeated.

“You get laid?” I asked.

“No. You guys freaked her out,” he said.

“Then let me make it up to you,” I said. He looked at me and I raised my eyebrow, and then smiled. He was thinking it over so I leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Come on. I want to suck your dick so bad.” That’s all it took. He was out of the car and almost ran up the stairs. I followed him, cracking up.

We got to my room and I pulled his pants down, pushed him back onto the bed, and gave him a real long blow job. I’d get him close, to the point where he was desperate to cum, then I’d back off and just blow on his dick until he calmed down, then I’d wind him back up again. When I finally brought him off, he damn hear drowned me. “Damn that was good,” he said, getting a smile from me. “So was that the first time you got laid?”

“Yeah,” I said sheepishly. I pretended the two times I fucked my aunt didn’t count.

“That’s pretty swell,” he said. “Congratulations.” Only he didn’t mean it, I could see it in his eyes. It bothered him, a lot.

I didn’t really know what to say. If I told him the truth, that I’d rather be with him, he’d snap a cap. If I told him I liked it a lot, he’d be all hurt. So I just grinned.

“I gotta run,” he said, and leaned in to give me a nice kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe we can hang out, just the two of us.”

“Spend the night tomorrow,” I said. He nodded. I lay in bed, trying to figure out what his deal was, what his big problem was, and it finally dawned on me. He was jealous. He was all fine with us dating women, and he was fine with me making out with Barbie, but when I fucked her, he must have felt like I was cheating on him. And I did it right in front of him. I felt like shit. I hadn’t really done anything wrong, but I’d hurt him, and that was wrong in and of itself. I love the guy, and I didn’t want to make him feel shitty. I vowed to make it up to him when he came over and spent the night. Even though he ignored it when I told him I loved him, I’d show him. That would have to do.

Only when he came over this morning, he wasn’t happy at all. I was sound asleep when my door flew open, scaring the shit out of me. I sat up so quick I got dizzy. “What?” I asked.

“You ruined my car asshole!” he yelled.

“Keep your voice down. You want my mom to hear you?” I yelled back. He thought about that for a second then talked more softly, only he was meaner.

“There are fucking stains all over the back seat,” he said. I got out of bed and saw him try to ignore my morning hard-on as I put on my pants and a shirt, and socks, then followed him downstairs.

I walked up to his car and looked in the back seat and sure enough, there were stains there. Only they weren’t cum stains, they were blood stains. “How did blood stains get on the seat?” I asked him.

“God, are you stupid. She was a virgin. That’s what happens,” he said.

“Fuck,” I said, and I meant it on so many levels. I felt kind of guilty for taking Barbie’s cherry. I don’t know why, but I guess I figured she’d been with other guys before. I didn’t realize I was her first. And to lose it in the back seat of a Dodge Coupe wasn’t the most romantic thing to happen. And we’d totally messed up Aaron’s seats.

I looked at him and he just glared at me. I knew how important his car was to him. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that would happen. I didn’t mean to do it.” I was practically pleading with him.

I saw him give in to me just like I would to him. I wonder if he thought I was as cute as I thought he was. “I know you didn’t mean to do it,” he said grudgingly.

“I’ll make it up to you. I’ll buy you new seat covers. You need them anyway.” I told him.

“That’s expensive, and I don’t want your money,” he said, all indignant and prideful.

“That’s bullshit. I fucked them up; I’m going to fix it. Come on in and eat breakfast, then we’ll go down and see if we can find some,” I told him.

He nodded and followed me into the kitchen. While the maid made breakfast, I ran up and grabbed my wallet and the money I’d saved up this summer, and ran back down to the kitchen. We went down to the store and bought some seat covers, sucking up a big chunk of my savings, but I had planned to do something nice for Aaron anyway, so it worked out.

“You got any rubbers left?” I asked him.

“No,” he said. “You?”

“No,” I told him. “Stop at the drug store.”

“I’m not buying rubbers,” he said.

“You’re a big pussy,” I told him. He gave me a dirty look. “Fine, I’ll do it.” I knew I’d end up doing it anyway. He wouldn’t even come in with me.

I walked into the store and there were a few ladies talking to old Mr. Jones, the guy who ran the place. They were talking about all kinds of stupid stuff, and then while they were talking some other lady came in. He kept looking over at me, but I pretended to be looking at some of the latest magazines. Finally, all the ladies decided to leave. I walked up to the counter nervously.

“What can I do for you Steven?” he asked me.

I looked at a point slightly over his head so I didn’t have to make eye contact. “I need some rubbers.”

“We’ve got galoshes against the back wall,” he said.

“No, I need the other kind,” I said. I knew I was blushing three shades of red, but I’d come this far, and I wasn’t going home without them.

He gave me a look that said I was an evil kid, a juvenile delinquent, and then pulled a package out from behind the counter. “Can I have two please?” I asked. His eyes bulged at that, and it almost made me laugh. That eased my tension a bit. He pulled out another package and put them in a brown paper bag. I paid him, and left. It would probably be all over town that I came in and bought two packs of rubbers.

“What took you so long?” Aaron asked.

“Fuck you. I had to wait for those ladies to leave. Then when I asked for rubbers he thought I meant galoshes.” Aaron started laughing his ass off. I took out a pack and put them in his glove box. Only when I did, I saw the other rubbers I’d given him stuffed in the back, still unopened. He didn’t use them? What the fuck was that all about? I kept my face impassive and pretended like I didn’t see them.

“Thanks,” he said. I just smiled to hide my confusion. Did he not like using them, so he was risking knocking up Allison? He wouldn’t be that fucking stupid, and even if he were, she wouldn’t let him do that, would she? I thought about it, thought about the times we’d been in the car with them and he’d been fucking her. He’d been on top of her, grinding away. It looked like they were going at it. Were they?

I started to get suspicious. Was he really fucking her, or was he just saying that to me? Was my aunt his first fuck? I told myself that was impossible, but then it dawned on me that it wasn’t. He was probably all full of this bravado, trying to convince me that he was this big man around town, fucking all the dolls, when he’d been as cherry as me. I wondered if this was all part of trying to decide that he wasn’t queer. Regardless, there’s no way I’m going to say anything. That’s way too personal, and even if he is lying, he’d never admit it. He’d just hate me for calling him on it.

He’s downstairs putting his new seat covers on, while I’m up here writing in this diary. I really really love him. I wish he loved me back.

November 23, 1941

Last night was a blast. I guess Aaron was trying to make sure we were still close or something, because he was an animal. I got no sleep, I mean no sleep, and I’m so tired this morning I can barely move. My ass is sore, my dick is sore, and my balls are drained. I don’t think I could get an erection right now if I had to. I’m going back to bed.

I’m back, and it’s night. I need to get to bed so I’m at least coherent during school tomorrow, but I wanted to jot down a few of my thoughts in here. I called Barbie and she was happy to hear from me. I invited her to go out for dinner, and took her to this restaurant in town. Not the nicest one, but nice enough. I was going through money pretty quick.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d call me after Friday night,” she said as we were sitting there.

“Friday night was amazing,” I told her, surprised. “Why wouldn’t I call you?”

“Because nice girls don’t do that,” she said, and I saw a tear in her eye.

“Nice girls do that after they’ve been dating a guy for a while,” I said. “You aren’t easy.”

She smiled at me. “Thanks.” She got all nervous. “You were the first guy that I was, uh, with.”

“It was my first time too,” I lied. “It was pretty special to me.” That wasn’t a lie.

“It was for me too,” she said, making me smile.

“Did you like it?” I asked nervously, putting my delicate male ego on the table. If she crushed it now, she’d probably scar me for life.

“I’ve heard some girls say it was the end, that it was the best thing ever. I agree with them,” she said. I knew I was blushing now, especially when she smiled at me.

“So do I,” I said, even though it was a lie. I’d take Aaron’s dick up my ass any day; that was really the best feeling out there.

“So what does this mean?” she asked. Now her feelings were on the table, only I didn’t know what the right answer was.

“It means I like you a lot,” I said, hoping that sufficed. It seemed to.

“Enough to go steady?” she asked me.

“I, uh, I guess I already thought we were,” I said lamely. She laughed at me, but in a friendly way.

“You never asked me,” she said.

“Oh,” I said. I swallowed hard and looked her in the eye. “Will you go steady with me?”

“Yes,” she said. I felt my face break into a big grin, and I was really happy to see hers do the same thing. I took her home after dinner and walked her up to her door. I kissed her on the cheek like a gentleman, and then went home. I figured that it would look like I still respected her, which I did, and that I wasn’t a horny crazed teenager, which I was. The truth of the matter was that I was so worn out from my night with Aaron I didn’t really want to fuck her. I’ll want to tomorrow though.

November 30, 1941

Holy shit. I got laid more this weekend than probably any other teenage guy in the country. It started on Friday night, when I took Barbie out dancing. Aaron and Allison went with us, but they went separately in Aaron’s car. That seemed strange to me, but I ignored it and just had a good time. Then afterward, we drove up to Skyline and parked again. I wanted to fuck her so bad, I was so hard I could hardly stand it, but I didn’t want her to think that I thought she was a slut.

Finally my hormones took over and I started kissing her. One thing led to another, and I had her panties off again and I was working her with my tongue like I had before. She got really into it, and since it was just the two of us, she let herself moan real loud, which really turned me on. I think I actually got her off with my mouth, but when I pulled out my dick and put on the rubber, she let me fuck her anyway. I guess girls are different. I guess they’re still up for some fun after they blow.

So I fucked her, practicing different moves to see what she liked. She just kept moaning and tossing her head around, and it finally turned me on so much I had to blow. I yelled really loud, probably way too loud, and blew into the rubber. After we were done, she got all nervous and put her panties back on. I pulled the rubber off and tossed it out the window.

“I’m worried that if I let you do that you won’t respect me,” she said nervously.

I made sure that when I was with her, I got my words together before I said anything. I had this feeling that girls were more fragile, or at least their feelings were, and I didn’t want to hurt her. “I think it’s really swell that you do that for me,” I told her.

“I like it too much to say no,” she said, grinning at me. What a doll. “Now you’ll think I’m a slut.”

“Are you doing this with other guys?” I asked.

“No,” she said all indignantly, and got ready to slap me.

“I’m teasing,” I said hastily. “I know you’re not. If you were, though, that would make you a slut. Being with one guy doesn’t make you a slut.” I leaned in and kissed her. “Besides, I’m not going to tell anyone. What we do is between us.”

“Guys talk,” she said glumly.

“Not this one,” I said. “The only guy I talk to about stuff like this is Aaron.”

“I don’t think he likes me,” she said.

“Are you kidding? He’s the one who set us up in the first place. Of course he likes you.”

“I think he’s jealous of me,” she persisted.

That really spazzed me out. Did she suspect Aaron and I were fucking around? Did we give off signs? “Why would he be jealous of you?”

“Because you spend time with me and not with him,” she said. I got it then. She wasn’t talking about Aaron and I fucking, she was talking about us just being buddies.

“I spend lots of time with him. I’ll hang out with him tomorrow,” I told her, using this as an excuse to get him to spend the night.

“My parents want you to come over for dinner on Sunday night,” she said. “Will you?”

“Sure,” I’d said nervously. “Are they mad at me?”

“No silly,” she said, laughing. “They know I like you a lot, and they want to get to know you.”

“Oh, OK,” I’d said. So that got put on my agenda for today.

Then yesterday, I spent the whole day with Aaron. He came over in the morning and woke me up with an amazing blow job. After I blew, I returned the favor. He spent most of the morning and afternoon working on his car. He came in toward the end of the afternoon to goof around with me, but there was an awkward moment because I had to go get ready to have dinner with Barbie’s parents. This whole jealousy thing he had going on with her was starting to irritate me. I guess he figured that out, since he took a shower with me and we made love, then he went home, while I got all spiffed up for her parents.

It was kind of strange to be there in the same house with them, the same house I’d fucked around with their daughter in, but they were really nice to me. She is the oldest, but has two younger brothers. One is a freshman in high school; another is around eight years old. They were nice enough.

Her mother made a huge beef roast and kept telling me that Barbie had helped her with it, and made it sound like Barbie had cooked the whole dinner. It was kind of weird, like they were trying to convince me that she was a good cook and would make a good wife. I mean, I really liked Barbie, but shit, I’m only 16. It’s like her mother was trying to marry her off already. Her father was nice enough, if a little gruff. It can’t be easy to have a really attractive daughter like that and to meet her boyfriend, knowing what the boyfriend wants to do to his daughter. That whole thing, the unspoken sexual tension, seemed to hang over dinner like a cloud. I ended up having a good time though, and they seemed to be nice people.

After dinner we hung out and played cards with her parents. That was really funny, because her father was a really sore loser, so whenever he’d miss a trick, or discard wrong, and one of us would take advantage of his blunder, he’d get all mad. It got late for a Sunday, so I went home. Barbie walked me to my car and gave me a kiss on the cheek because everyone was probably watching us through the windows. It was a good time, but a little weird.

December 1, 1941

I’m sitting here in bed, kind of bored. I know I should be trying to sleep, but I’m not in the mood, so I decided to jot down a few things about my day. Aaron completely monopolized my time today. It was like he was all spazzed out about my dinner last night. I told him all about it, about her mother and how she was trying to convince me that Barbie was a good cook, and Aaron just laughed.

“She’s trying to convince you that her daughter would make a good wife,” he’d said.

“I’m only 16. I’m not marrying anyone yet,” I told him. He looked at me kind of strangely.

“Yet,” he’d said.

“Well duh. Aren’t you gonna get married someday?” I’d asked him. Only when I looked into his eyes, it was kind of strange, like he was really confused.

“Probably,” he’d said. “But I’m not the most eligible bachelor in town.”

“Right,” I’d said sarcastically.

“Who’s got you beat?” he demanded. “Only one close to you is Jim, and he’s an asshole.”

“By eligible, you mean rich,” I said, irritated.

“Christ Steve, you always sell yourself so short. It pisses me off. You’re such a great guy,” he’d said.

‘Then why don’t you love me,’ I’d wanted to ask. Instead I just blushed. “Thanks.”

“Any girl in this town would be nuts not to go for you,” he’d said, rambling on.

“Tell that to Kim Alpers,” I said bitterly. I mean, I didn’t really give a shit about that, and I was so much more into Barbie anyway, but it still bugged me the way she’d dumped me.

“She’s a dumbass,” he’d said.

“Maybe I’ll just marry you,” I’d teased. And I got the strangest reaction. He smiled big, then acted like it was some stupid joke, then smiled again. What was his deal anyway? I was going to analyze it, but he moved in and kissed me, then he made love to me, and I just put all the emotional crap aside and enjoyed him.

“You’d have to change your name to Steven Hayes,” he’d joked. I laughed. But I’d do it in a heartbeat. I love him that much.

July 5, 1999

“Looks like you lost that bet,” Matt said to Robbie playfully. “No bitching in Paris.”

“It’s easy for you to say. You didn’t spend a week in a French jail,” Robbie groused.

“Does that mean you plan to renege on your bet?” I asked him. “You are not a man of your word?” He almost got pissed until he noticed my smile. I was relieved, relieved that we’d at least have that threat to hold over his head to keep his whining in check.

“Assholes,” he pouted. “I didn’t know I had an Uncle Aaron. I wonder why my father never told me about him.”

“He was killed in the war,” JP said sadly. “I really don’t know much about him. I was pretty young, and I only remember him as Steve’s friend.”

“I assume we will find out about that as we read on,” I told them. I found that I was getting as attached to Aaron as I was to my father, and the thought that this story was going to have an unhappy ending was very depressing.

“I’m starting to understand Grandmaman, and why she did what she did,” Brad said thoughtfully.

“You think it’s OK to fuck around on your husband just because he pisses you off?” Robbie asked caustically. That really irritated me. This was hard enough on JP without Robbie bringing his own insecurities into the discussion. I was about to jump on him when Brad handled it for me.

“I don’t think it’s our place to judge any of them,” he said firmly. “We weren’t there, we didn’t live their lives.”

“I think it’s very interesting how Steven picks up on all of this, on their family dynamics, even if he doesn’t entirely understand it,” Wade said.

“I think if I were her, and my husband was being a dick, I’d bang Steven too,” Matt said.

“Yeah, we can pretty much rely on you to choose banging the hot young guy in just about any situation,” Wade joked. Matt pretended to give him a dirty look.