The Seducer: A Gone From Daylight Inspired Story - 16. William Harker’s Journal: Entry 16

(The previous entry is mysteriously gone from William Harker’s Journal.

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Monday, September 24, 1989

What a perfect day today was! Beautiful and shiny! A patented California day in late September! We even avoided the regular fog today! It was bright right from the get-go!

The only sad thing was having to leave Dr. V’s beautiful home and return to my dingy old dorm. But, there’s nowhere better to get to my classes and everything. I hope the good doctor invites me again! We had a very pleasant time together over the weekend! Many discussions over cups of tea. I tell you he can weave anything into a story for the ages! The man is a walking novel!

It’s weird, the only thing that bothered me today was this nagging feeling of apprehension over something, but I can’t, for the life of me, remember what that something could be! Everything is going so well! What could I possibly be worried about?

Ah, maybe it’s the statistics midterm coming up. I guess that’s what it must be. I don’t know why, really, because I’m doing surprisingly well in that class despite my hatred of all things math-related.

Well, there might be another thing bothering me. It’s this journal of mine. I’m wondering if I should keep writing in it. I get the feeling that it might not be that safe to keep my feelings all blurted out here in black and white! What if someone reads it? I’m sure a lot of things in here would make me look crazy.

I also haven’t been keeping it up. For instance, I missed an entire entry yesterday. I was sure I’d have wanted to write down my fun with the estate, the pool, the…library. Hmmm, I get butterflies when I think of that library! I wonder why?

Anyway, I think I’m losing interest in writing all this stuff down. I wanted it as a keepsake of my first year in college, but it’s becoming something of a burden to do. I guess, I’ll keep on for a while. I don’t know…

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Tuesday, September 25, 1989

Hmmm….

I was flipping through my journal and it seems like, maybe, I did do an entry Sunday night, but, for whatever reason, I ripped it out! What’s more is that I must have done it very carefully, because the page was ripped out right next to the spine of my journal!

What’s disturbing is that I don’t remember doing it!

I don’t remember getting drunk at Dr. V’s place, but then, I don’t actually remember much about Sunday at all! I remember most of the day, but very little about the evening. I just remember Dr. V driving me back to the dorm late and checking me in with the ‘Dorm Mom’.

Maybe, I just fell asleep. That must be it. Staying up with Dr. V at night and this new night class is messing with my biological clock, I think. I must have just konked out!

Dr. V’s class was interesting. He covered how the Balkans started World War I with Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his assassination by a Serbian anarchist. He added some rather strange information about Franz…he was a hemophiliac! He had a blood condition that made him shy of sunlight and require blood transfusions. It was just a little aside from the main complications of that event, but I found it strange that Dr. V found it particularly interesting.

Strangely, hearing about a blood condition with a historical figure had a weird effect on me. I felt a dreadful chill of fear run through me as Dr. V talked about the Archduke! It was like I was remembering something terrifying, but with no reason behind it! There’s no rational explanation for this feeling since, honestly, I have no particular feelings about the Archduke or World War I at all!

Maybe, I should get checked out at the Medical Center. I don’t understand why I keep forgetting things and having these weird panic attacks. They make no sense. It’s like I have holes in my memory, like when you wake up from a nightmare and you have all the freak-out of the bad dream, but can’t remember quite what it was all about.

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Wednesday, September 26, 1989

Well, I check out medically. They gave me a few tests, did a blood panel, even did a CAT scan to see if I might have some brain injury. Nada. I was assured that I was healthy as a horse and that maybe I need to not ‘party’ so hard over the weekends. I couldn’t say that I didn’t get drunk Sunday because I can’t remember if I did drink or not.

I seriously doubt it. I’m no drinker. Hell, I just had my first beer and cocktail just a couple of weeks ago! The only thing I’ve had since then is wine. Dr. V did insist I try wine with my meals…

Hey! Wait a minute! Maybe I did get into his wine stash! I really did enjoy that wine. Maybe, I enjoyed it a little too much?

Oh, that would be a relief! My other occasions of ‘blacking out’ also occurred after drinking. Not the beer, but the stronger drinks at the Salon Rouge. Maybe, I have an allergy to alcohol? That’s a possibility! A much better one than anything else I can think of.

That’s it. No more drinking for me!

Anyway, I met a nice fella while waiting (forever) in the Medical Center waiting room. His name is Robin. I don’t know what was going on with him, but he didn’t look so good. I hope whatever it is isn’t catching! He was pale as a sheet, a little bruised around the eyes, and seemed to be having a hard time catching his breath if he talked too much. Poor guy! He’d have been good looking too, if he hadn’t been so sick.

I got the feeling he might be gay since he talked with a slight lisp and seemed to sit with his legs crossed more like a lady than a guy. It doesn’t mean anything, really, but he also dressed a bit flamboyantly with a colorful silky scarf around his neck. I found that rather unusual since it has been warm in recent days.

I am concerned he might have AIDS if he is gay. If that’s the case then, at least, I don’t have to be scared of catching something. I know, from the news, that HIV doesn’t communicate via the air or touch or anything. You need blood or semen for that, they say.

That’s all right for me, but so very tragic for Robin! He’s my age and to be sentenced to die so young just for loving someone of the same sex - it doesn’t seem at all fair!

Speaking of blood, I don’t know, exactly, how AIDS works, but I wonder if it causes a person to be starved for it? Does it cause leukemia or something? That’s what Robin looked like he had wrong with him. He looked…bled out!

Probably, despite my better judgement in case he was contagious, I helped him up out of his chair when he was called. The nurse helped him the rest of the way. My god! He was so weak! Also, when he stood up, his scarf drooped a bit from around his neck and I swore I saw a wound of some kind there! The nurse also mentioned something weird. She said ‘Aw, geeze! Not another one!” I don’t even want to know what that meant!

It’s like the Universe is toying with me, showing me all these things about blood conditions! I still don’t understand why that makes me so particularly squeamish lately! Maybe, that wine made me hallucinate it was blood or something. Does wine cause hallucinations?

I don’t know.

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Friday, September 28, 1989

Well, if I did anything wrong at his place, Dr. V didn’t seem to think much about it. He invited me back up to his estate to continue my Romanian lessons. Despite my strange misgivings about going back up there, I really didn’t want to refuse either. I’ll just pass on the wine this time! No more wine for me, especially Romanian wine! Apparently, it’s strong!

Dr. V confirmed that’s what had happened to me last Sunday. Rather than be angry, he seemed amused and pleased that I liked that vintage from his country so much. It just so happens that Romania has some of the best wine growing regions in Europe and that Romanian wine is quite sought after by connoisseurs. It is rare to get it out from behind the Iron Curtain.

I guess that makes me a connoisseur then! But, connoisseur or not…no more wine for me for a long while!

I couldn’t help but think about poor Robin from Wednesday. I hope he is ok! He seems like such a gentle soul and there was something about him being his ‘way’ that I liked. His ‘gayness’ didn’t seem put on at all. He wasn’t trying to sound like a girl, he just talked that way so easily. I found him strangely charming, even though he looked like he felt so awful.

I hope I get to see Robin again. I think he’d make a good…friend.