The Seducer: A Gone From Daylight Inspired Story - 22. William Harker’s Journal: Entry 22

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Saturday, October 6, 1989

I just got off the phone with Mike. He doesn’t remember there being a crunch mark in the wall across from my bed! I didn’t tell him about my freaky ‘dream’ because I didn’t want to come off as totally nuts! I was hoping that the impact mark was something I, just, never noticed before and that Mike would have remembered it. But, he didn’t. I asked, could it be that we both missed it? Maybe, like, there’d been some poster or picture covering it that made us miss it?

But, I don’t remember there being any picture there! Mike was sure there’d never been one since he never put any pictures up and he’d been the sole occupant of that dorm up until I came along. This is all very concerning!

I certainly wish this had been a regular nightmare because it was scary in the extreme! I…don’t even want to go back into that dorm! I may ask to be switched out of there. It’s funny, but this dream isn’t fading from my memory either like most dreams do. It’s all, like, I’m remembering it fresh like it really happened!

I really don’t know what to do about this. I guess, my first step should be to contact the housing administration and put in for a transfer. I may see if I can stay with Mike tonight. I…just don’t want to go back into that dorm, like I’ve said! I especially don’t want to be in there again after dark!

Is it sick that part of this, um, ‘experience’ turns me on a little too? I mean, I’ve never had a blowjob before and that one from Jake felt so good and so real! How could I even dream about a blowjob that accurately if I’ve never had one? I feel disgusted by it, turned on by it, frightened by it, and, strangely…wishing it would happen again! Some part of me even wants to feel what those sharp teeth were going to do to my neck! There was something very erotic about it…like the danger of it heightened my horniness to a new limit!

I’m just going to keep that little bit to myself and in this journal, I guess. How can something so frightening be so erotic at the same time? I really don’t get this whole thing. Maybe I am crazy…

Now, how am I going to get Mike to come get me and crash at his place tonight? What excuse should I use? How about the truth…or most of it anyway? I suffered a break-in and the ‘thief’ scared the shit out of me when he woke me up. That’s actually strangely accurate for a ‘normal’ description of what I think occurred last night.

A ‘thief’ did break in last night! One that stole my sense of safety, my semen, and my dignity.

Well, there I go again thinking this really happened. I just can’t shake the feeling. The chills it brings to my spine are all too real!

Well, let me call Mike again. At least I can try to get out of that dorm until I can get transferred out of there.

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Sunday, October 7, 1989

Mike was cool enough to let me crash on his couch. I told him some parts of the dream I had and how it had ended with someone being thrown against the far wall. I didn’t tell him the more sexy details because that, probably, would have grossed Mike out to the point where he’d have thrown me out.

Mike tried to reassure me on the point of the big dent in the dorm wall. He said, “Could be we both weren’t paying attention was all. When you come into a dorm you, sort of, accept things at first glance. If things are a little rough around the edges, that’s ok and it doesn’t really stick in the old memory very well. I guess its a kind of selective attention.”

“As for that wild dream - I’d say it was something like what I’ve read about in my psychology texts. Something called a ‘Sleep-Paralysis’. Basically, your mind wakes up before your body does and you see strange things, hear weird things, and feel things you’d only feel in a dream. It’s like dreaming while you are awake except your body is still asleep,” Mike tried to explain.

I found that a reasonable if strange explanation! It seemed to answer a lot of the questions I have about what I experienced. It’s true that I felt paralyzed through most of that situation, especially when Jake came crawling up over me to bite me in the neck!

“The part where the burglar was thrown against the wall to make a dent was probably a detail of the room your subconscious remembered and needed to ‘explain’ somehow. I swear, the more you read about how the mind works the spookier it gets,” Mike chuckled at that.

It all seems so reasonable as an explanation for what happened to me. It should make me feel better about things, but I still feel creepy about it! It seemed so real! How could everything in that ‘Sleep Paralysis’ dream be nothing but a figment of my imagination and my brain doing strange things to me while I’m trying to sleep?

Anyway, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay with Mike. He has a girlfriend now and I doubt they’re going to want me hanging around nights while they, um, ‘do their thing’. I don’t know where I’ll stay if not my dorm.

I rather hate to do it as an imposition and as a point of personal preference, but I might have to ask Dr. V if I can stay at his estate while I get this dorm thing sorted out. His place is creepy, but not in a particularly personal way. What happened in or didn’t happen in my dorm was personal and I’m honestly scared of it happening again…even if it was only a dream.

If it was a dream, why would my location matter for it to happen again? I guess it shouldn’t matter, but something inside - in my gut - tells me that it does matter! It’s a feeling I can’t shake! So, I’ll need to ask Dr. V for his help. I can’t see any alternatives.

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Tuesday, October 9, 1989

Well, Mike was kind enough to let me stay at his place overnight on Monday. He even dropped me off at the university and picked me up after classes. He’s been a real dude for the past couple of days. He doesn’t blame me for being weirded out by whatever happened to me in my dorm.

I volunteered that I’d make further arrangements for myself for today. I spent all day on campus. Fortunately, there are a lot of common areas for studying and even napping if you want to. College life is so much different than High School. It’s much more relaxed in many ways. It does become a long day, though, when you have to wait hours into the night for your evening class. But, that’s what I did today.

I told Dr. V about my experience (sans the glowing eyes, green mist, and other weird stuff). He was shocked and disturbed by what I described. He seemed to take it more seriously than Mike. I told him about Mike’s ‘Sleep Paralysis’ theory, but Dr. V was skeptical.

“That there is physical evidence of a break-in - the open window and the dent in the wall - could mean you were not dreaming. There are many explanations other than a hypnogogic dream to explain your experience. You may have been stalked and drugged to make you more compliant too! I found your Jake rather off-putting, in all honesty, my friend. This may have been a very disturbing prank he pulled upon you or a way to make a romantic overture that made sense to him, but to no one else remotely sane!” Dr. V offered as another angle on my experience. I must say, it sent an icy shiver down my spine thinking that what I experienced was partially drug induced!

“You are a very…attractive young man, William. This can be a blessing, yes…but it can also be something of a curse. Those that are desirous of you…may stop at nothing to have you.” Dr. V spoke these words with a halting quietness. What he said made me feel anxious, but at the same time encouraged!

Did Dr. V feel that way about me? Would that be something I’d…want? To have him desirous enough to ‘have’ me? To…stop at nothing to have me?

If I said ‘yes’ that would make me gay, I guess. But, then, why with Dr. V does that term not mean much? He seems…beyond such things! He’s a man. If he’s gay then he is a gay man. Right? But, terms like that don’t seem to fit Dr. V!

He is more like a being! Something more than a man!

How silly of me. He is just a man and I have a serious case of hero worship. That’s all.

That’s…all?

“In any case, but of course you may stay at my estate for as long as you wish. I enjoy your company and there is still much I can teach you.” Dr. V agreed to having me over once again. As strange and unsettling as his place is, it’s much less unsettling than my dorm room is at the moment.

So, it was with a sense of relief and a strange feeling of ‘homecoming’ that I returned to Dr. V’s estate and to the room he gave me when I first came for an overnight visit. Despite my weird experiences here, I have a new sense of safety. Things only seemed scary and threatening that night after the party because of what I mistook for a struggle and because Dr. V seemed so concerned for Ambrosio. The ‘ghostly’ experiences were, likewise, non-threatening.

Now, after suffering a possible real threat in my own dorm room, this place seems like a haven to me! I doubt I’ll get any visitors up here. I can get some much needed rest. I haven’t slept very well for a couple of days!