Murder At Lake Mohank - 8. Chapter 8. Read Between The Lines

It seemed I was being keenly awaited, the watchman opening the gate long before I had reached it. I had one quick glance towards the garden, as I moved the bike down the driveway, towards the garage. I decided it was one conversation that I had to avoid. I quickly parked the bike, and almost dashed to the front entrance. I tossed my shoes off, opened the door, and quickly snuck in to the house.

My joy was short lived though, I hadnt even reached halfway to the central stair way across the hall, when I heard the main door being opened. I stopped, and then slowly turned around, there was nothing else to do. I tried to maintain a composed expression on my face, as I watched him come closer.

"Sorry dad, I was with my friends, and I didnt realize it was too late..."

I tried to come up with an ambiguous explanation that could later be expanded into something more concrete, perhaps reinforced with the excuse of a punctured tyre on the bike, or some friend having a medical emergency, if required. I hoped though, that it wouldnt come down to that. Blown-tyre-excuse could further curtail my usage of the bike - I was already not allowed to ride it to college. And the other excuse was flimsy to start with, and had already been over-exploited.

"Hmm" He nodded his head slightly. Did his 'hmm' have the same meaning as mine. Could I just go off to my room, I wasnt quite sure. I didnt have to wait long before he continued.

"You dont need to give an explanation for everything." I couldnt believe my ears! "You are grown up now, I am sure you can handle any situation. Just be careful, son. There are good as well as evil things out there in the world."

He stopped at that, and didnt spoil his ultra good speech, in my view at least, by expanding it any further.

"Thanks, dad" I said, with a half-smile on my face, and hurried off to my room.

I tossed my cell on the bed, my wallet on the side table, grabbed a towel and had a quick shower. As I came out, I saw my cell buzzing on the bed. It was still on silent mode. I walked closer to the bed, still draped in the towel, and saw his name on the cell screen. I grabbed the phone, and rejected his call. Almost immediately it started buzzing again. I rejected the call a second time, and tossed it away. I changed quickly into a fresh pair of clothes and jumped into bed. I realized how tired I was. It had been a tough day.

For the first time, since it had taken place, I thought about the attack at the complex. Who was that guy? What did he intend to do and why? I realized I didnt have any answers. Of course I knew, it was a matter to be reported to the authorities, or at least something I should tell my dad. But then, I knew enough of how the police functioned in my town, to know full well, that it wasnt going to amount to much. At best, they would visit the complex once, and declare no signs of any suspicious activity or any evidence of an armed assault. At worst, they would just scorn me, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And talking to my dad was even 'more tougher' now, having seen him finally grow up to the fact that I was an adult. I didnt want to bust my coming-of-age party so soon.

It suddenly came to my mind that I had decided to go visit the library the next morning. When had I thought about that? Was it today? It seemed to have happened a long long time ago. I decided I needed to get some good sleep.

I decided to check my cell one last time, to clear up the mess of the missed calls logs, and other apps that might have been running. I had 17 missed calls, all from Balbhadra, and several insignificant notifications in the various instant messengers.

"You are amazing.

There is something about you, that makes my heart melt, every time you say my name, every time you turn and look at me. To be absolutely honest, I dont know if you do it all deliberately, just to tease me, just to test how insane you can drive someone with your innocent charm. But then again, I dont care, as long as I am the center of your attention, your thoughts.

You have no idea how irresistible you are. Plain and simple, but unattainable, elusive, totally aloof to all the things that everyone seems to chase. You just dont seem to care about any of that. Your intrigue is akin to the kind that sailors in search of new continents may have experienced. You are as mysterious as Outer Space. I cant ever seem to get to know, what lies beyond. No matter how much I try, how much further I probe, there always seem to be things about your personality that I cant quite figure out.

I love everything about you, even the shell that you like to keep yourself enclosed in all the time. I love the way you try to be nice to everyone, the way you respect people, even when they are irritating you, annoying you. I am sorry, I know I shouldnt take advantage, or derive pleasure from it, but I just love to harass you, tempt you, entice you; To leave your veil of virtues, to come out of your shell of goodly goodness. But you always succeed in keeping me at bay.

The way you speak your heart out, unbridled and unabashed, totally candid. I love your heart, I havent seen anyone in possession of such a beautiful heart. In fact, I might not even have ever known about the existence of such a thing. You made me realize how much I appreciate it.

I like the way you care about people, remember that day when we first sat side by side in the college bus. and you let me enjoy my silence, even at the cost of coming across as slightly arrogant or snobbish.

The way you always know how to balance things, always making little corrections and adjustments, not only to your own behaviour and outlook, but that of the people around you. All your little tantrums; the barrage of sarcasm and obnoxiousness that you try to serve at times.

All those instances when you feel like speaking my name, but you restrain yourself; the way you become absolutely dependent on me, unintentionally; everything makes me so crazy about you. Those moments when you struggle to express your love, your care, and the sea of helplessness that I see surfacing in your eyes. All the words that you wish to speak, but they invariably end up unuttered. I can see them in your eyes, I can read them on your lips. I can hear them in your heartbeat.

And the best part is, you seem to be totally oblivious to it all, totally unaware about how beautiful and special you are.

The truth is, I have never known anyone like you to exist. Your way of life, your thinking, everything about you is so different from the rest of the world. We both know what happened at the hiking trip, when that snake landed on your hand, and it was about to strike at me. You moved your hand away from me first, without bothering about your own safety. I can imagine how much love it would take for someone to do that. I appreciate that, Sure. But you know what, the thing that I loved about it even more, was the fact that you didnt ever brought that subject up later on. Obviously, I should have acknowledged it in some better way. But my silence never ruffled you in any way.

You are great, yes you are. And contrary to what you have said, if you look at it from my perspective, the truth is - I am not worthy of you. I know you are going to have lots of questions for me to answer, and I am willing to comply, willing to do anything you desire. I simply owe you that.

Please dont doubt my intentions, this message is probably 100x times lengthier than any message I have ever composed in my life. This is not my way, but I know its your way. And I am willing to walk your path.

Yours,
Balbhadra"

"Please Balbhadra, you are a nice guy, I have nothing against you. Please just leave me alone. Is it too much to ask? Its been really hard for me to make this decision. Please just move on. Good night and good bye."

The library ground, which was of ample size, occupied a central and commanding point on the main street. The beautifully designed two storey building was originally built to be a mansion in the old times, but had later been converted into a public library. It had managed to retain the old world charm, despite numerous renovations and advancements.

The principal feature of the main front, was a splendid portico of richly carved marble columns, reached by a broad flight of marble steps. As I parked my bike, and started walking towards it, I could see the roof of the central dome rising high behind the top of the portico.

I had been here just once before - with Rahil, when he had needed to deliever something to his dad who worked at the library.

As I was about to climb the first step, my cell started ringing. It was Alyssa.

"What is it Alyssa?" I wondered why she had bothered to call me, I had already informed her about my plans the day before. I kept climbing the steps as I talked to her.

"Just wanted you to know that Balbhadra called me yesterday, and asked for your home number." she continued after a pause "Is everything alright?"

"Please Alyssa" It was the last thing I wanted to think about, let alone discuss with someone. "Everything is alright. Dont give out my number and info to people. Hope you didnt.... - ?"

"No. of course not." she replied in a slightly aggrieved tone "Though it did, somehow, slip out of my mouth that you were planning to visit the library today."

"Great ! Thanks."

The first of the raindrops started to fall and the roll of thunder sounded in the distance as I reached the portico.

I pushed open the main entrance door and stepped into the front lobby. I went straight to the inquiry desk. Actually I wasnt sure if it was meant to be an inquiry counter, but I decided to try it nonetheless. It was the only desk in the lobby. Overcoming the extreme apprehensions and anxieties that tended to fill me in such settings usually, I tried to muster enough courage to speak to the clerk-cum-assistant-cum-employee, or whatever/whoever was sitting behind the desk.

It was probably too early, but there were quite a few people around, each row of table seemed to have at least one occupant. They were busy reading newspapers, magazines, books and stuff, but somehow it was evident that whilst their eyes might have been busy reading, their attention was focused on me. Like the twin searchlights of some high security prison, they seemed to follow my every movement. I was wondering which cabinet to go to, and whether I needed to gain permit from someone before I could lay my hands on any of the books, when my cell beeped. It was a message tone, very brief, but somehow, that seemed to grant the license to everyone present in the room to stare at me. I quickly took out my cell, put it to silent mode, and hurried towards whichever cabinet was closest, striking one of the ill-positioned chairs, on my way, almost knocking it over. I quickly adjusted it back to its original position. Once I had reached "my" cabinet, and made enough pretense of trying to locate some book, I checked my cell. It was a message from Balbhadra.

"You were right, I was wrong. I admit it, I failed. Please. I am sorry. Whatever you say now. Swear at me, I wont say anything. Hit me if you want to. But please, just give me one chance."

I closed the message as soon as I had read it. The rain had built steadily in intensity, it was now rolling down the window glasses in sheets.

Khan Uncle arrived soon, and I told him the needful. He offered to help me, but also stated that there was no book by the title of Brihat Horasaastra anywhere in the library. I told him to check the library catalogue one more time. He agreed, and told me I could go check the rare books and old manuscripts room in the meantime.

It was a small room, relative to the reading room anyway, located at the far end, accessible through a wooden door that I had expected to creak loudly when opened. Wooden cabinets of the same type as the main room were present here too, along the walls, though things were not nearly as neatly organized here. Huge freestanding bookshelves were arranged horizontally across the floor, with enough room for readers to browse in between. I wondered where to begin at, there were no labels or any other info of any sort, at least they were not evident to me, even if they might have been in place.

I moved to the entrance of the room, intending to intercept him there, and then hopefully, get rid of him quick, without causing too much commotion. He ambled across to me. Except for his hair, which was wet, and splayed across his handsome face, he was dry.

"I need to talk to you." he said in his mellifluous voice, with a sense of sincerity in his eyes. I saw a few heads turning in our direction.

"Balbhadra, just leave. - " I had wanted to add some threat to that, But I realized there was nothing left between him and me, so I just left it at that.

"Please you got to listen to me, for my sake at least." he pleaded in a loud tone. There were multiple ssshhhhs in succession from the crowd at that.

It left me with no option but to move back to the inside of the archives room. He followed me.

"Why are you doing this? I told you its over, whatever it was. Go away. Get lost." I tried to rebuke him, as I went back to scanning the various books and documents. I knew it wasnt going to help me get rid of him, but at least it was a good distraction to concentrate my thoughts on.

"I will, but just listen to me once?" he said, as I put the stack of already scanned books back on the shelf, and took out a new stack and placed it on one of the side tables.

"What if I dont wish to talk to you?" I kept scanning the books, without looking at him at all. He had moved closer, and was now standing just to my left.

"Please, dont overreact dude. It was just a silly fight that we had." he put his hand on my left shoulder as he said that.

I shot a hard glance towards him. He retracted his hand.

I went back to my task.

"See Balbhadra, its simple. I know its not nice to make someone feel like this. I dont want to see you feel insulted or humiliated, or having to plead me, or anyone for that matter." I was finished scanning that particular lot, so I gathered all the books, stacked them up, and put them back in their place. I was done with that shelf, so I moved to a different shelf.

"Dont try to take unfair advantage of the fact that I cant hit you here -" I took out a few books from the top rack, as I said that, but immediately put them back when I saw his face on the other side. I tried to move to another shelf down the row, but he stepped out and blocked my path. He was grinning, his sparkling white teeth, visible between his flexed thin upcurved lips.

His hair was still wet, little translucent droplets dripping down, on to his forehead, flowing slowly past the light black stubble of his fair cheeks in rivulets, getting swayed a little in doing so, finally converging upon his incredibly defined jaw line, before plunging down his neck, and towards his extra prominent adams apple. The upper two buttons of his black shirt hadnt been fastened, revealing glimpses of his chest hair. The sleeves of his shirt had been rolled up, showing off his fair muscular forearms.

I tried to dodge past him, but he grabbed me from the side, and pushed me towards the nearby shelf, a few books flying off the shelf by the thrust, as he held me pinned bodily, his hands on my shoulders. He raised his head a little, and kissed my forehead. I extended my right hand, and with difficulty managed to grab a hold on his throat, and then with a heavy thrust pushed him back, towards the opposite shelf. I kept up enough pressure on his neck, to prevent him from escaping.

"Dont ever do that again, got it?" I said.

"Whats going on?" I heard Khan Uncle's voice from towards the door, and immediately let go off Balbhadra. He quickly straightened his shirt, and started walking off. Khan Uncle had a glance at him as they crossed each other at the door.

"Who was he?"

"Just a friend" I tried to speak in a neutral tone. He shrugged.

"I searched the entire catalogue son, I dont think there is any book by that title in this library. Did you have any luck here?"

"No." I replied "But thanks anyway. Shall I leave? I need to go to the college."

My cell vibrated, as I took his leave and started walking off, down the aisle. It was a message from Balbhadra. "I am waiting for you, outside."

I stopped by a table, and composed a reply.

"Listen you bastard, if you ever try to come close to me again, I will beat the hell out of you. Fuck off, dont show me your ugly face ever again, creep."

As I exited the main door, and began to walk under the portico, an old man walked up to me. He must have been 80-90 years old. He was wearing scruffy clothes. I fished my pockets and gave him the first coin I found. Just out of curiosity, I showed him the old paper, and asked him if he knew anything about it. He didnt seem to be paying much attention, I was thinking whether to repeat the question or whether to just leave, thats when he spoke, in a low voice.

"Mahant, Mahant,- on the hunt" he repeated the same sentence, a number of times.

I tried to get him to speak in a coherent manner in vain. He kept on repeating the same line.

"Kankaai, Kankaai - worth a try" He started repeating the new line after a little while.

I saw no point in continuing the conversation. I started descending the steps, it was still raining, if anything it was harder than before. I hadnt expected it to rain, when I had left home earlier, and hadnt bothered to bring along a jacket or a raincoat. I decided to just ride back to home in the rain, than to wait idly for the rain to subside. As for the paper, I just tossed it away in the air, as I reached my bike. Enough of this junk, I said to myself, all this junk.