Murder At Lake Mohank - 7. Chapter 7. LET ME BE

I took out my cell, put on my favorite track, plugged in the earphones, and began composing a message for him.

"You knew I was crazy.

Yeah, and immature and egoistical, and ...... whatever else. I dont want to deny any of that. If you thought about me that way, and if u still do, I have no objection to that. I may be an absolute psycho, but I dont desire to control yours, or anyones thoughts for that matter. You are and always were free to form and harbor any opinion you deem right.

And I wont even hold you responsible for whatever happened. May be it was charity for you - A poor lonely guy who cant take care of himself. Doesnt even have a friend. Please let me be nice to him. - Its ok. It was my mistake that I didnt make it clear - clear enough - that I didnt want your 'help'. Just would want you to know, though, that the life I had chosen, was my decision. I was the way I was, and I am the way I am, of my own choice. May be I didnt have any better options. But, dont for a minute, think that I was totally unaware, totally clueless about it. Whilst, I might not have been totally "happy" about how things were, how my life was, or who I was as a person, I had "accepted" my "being".

May be I am not as attractive as you, or charming, or charismatic, or any of those things. Perhaps I am just a lame guy who landed up on this planet, with no merits, no virtues. I know you are probably not even interested in reading any of this. And why should you be? - A crazy loser ranting insane stuff, just because I was late. - You are right. Thats why I am writing you this thing. To let you know, that you are free as of now. You can do as you please, meet up with whoever you want. I know I am sounding totally bitter about it right now, but thats the ultimate truth. I have no right to make anyones life miserable. And I dont even intend to do that. Thanks for everything you tried to do for me. May be I was not worthy of it. May be I was not worthy of you.

Yes, thats the bottom line. I am not worthy of you, your respect, your friendship.

And please, dont take this as some sort of a "Please come back to me, I am so miserable without you" attempt at emotional blackmailing.

Finally, I decided it was the only thing left to do, and clicked SEND.

It felt silly as soon as I had done it. But there was also a sense of relief, a feeling of having gotten rid of all the negativity. It actually felt quite good, a sense of exhilaration. It was as if, the worst had passed. I felt calmer and clearer than before. I looked at my cell. The same song was still playing in the background, being on an endless loop.

Dil ko thikaaney de
Naye bahaaney de
Khwaabon ki baarishon ko
Mausam ke paimaane de
Apne karam ki kar ataayein
Kar de idhar bhi tu nigaahein

Give shelter to the heart..
Give some new excuses,
Give the peg of weathers
to the rains of dreams..
Bless me with your grace..
Look this way too..

Sun rahaa hai naa tu
Ro rahaa hoon main
Sun raha hai naa tu
Kyun ro raha hoon main

You're listening, right?
I am crying here..
You're listening to me right..
Why I am crying here..

It appeared to be just a shadow on the wall, at first. The bend where the corridor turned to the alley where I was standing. Until it started striding forward, a tall figure, draped in black overalls, with long unruly hair, that covered portions of his face. I immediately unplugged the earphones, and as soon as I did that, I could hear him laughing in a demented way. He was just a few feet away. Though there was no way for me to know what his intentions might have been, there was no doubting the menace he conveyed.

I could try to make a mad dash past him, the alley was just three to four feet wide though, I would need to dodge past him. I didnt see any other viable options. It was a blind alley leading to nowhere. A wall on one side, and railings on the other side and at the end; And the creepy guy was blocking the only path out. I wondered if he did in fact intend to attack me - may be he was just mentally impaired. He didnt seem to in possession of any weapons, not even a stone.

Right on cue, he produced a long sharp knife, from somewhere inside his scruffy clothes, and wielded it out, leaving me with no delusions, clearing all my doubts. He was just five or six feet away, brandishing the knife in glee, laughing hysterically all the while. He lunged forward, without a word - his arm raised, the knife pointing down, ready to be thrust in. I did the only thing I could, grabbing his right hand with both my hands, to parry the attack.

With the knife inches from my face, its steel blade glistening, as he tried to push his hand forward, in spite of my hands trying to force it away, for the first time in my life, I experienced the true menace of a knife blade. Up until then, it had always been a tool, or a potential weapon, or something that was seen used a lot in movies and games. Confronted for the first time by the reality of having to defend against it, it filled me with a sense of survival, a raw and primeval instinct.

With my hands unavailable, and with my neck being strangled, I did the only thing in my power - kick him hard in the groin with my right knee. Of course, I knew I would lose my balance as a result, but I just had to risk it, it was my only hope. It caught him by surprise, he lost the grip on the knife. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. I watched as the knife slipped off his hand and landed on the side railing, the butt of the handle making a dull thud as it bounced up a little, then the clang of metal on metal as it landed a second time, this time on the blade. It spun in a little arc, on its guard, before finally falling off the railing to the ground below.

This infuriated him beyond limits, and with a grunt, he started pushing me with both his hands, letting go off my neck. I grabbed the railing with both my hands, as I tried to hold on. I started formulating a little plan, as we struggled. It was a clever ploy, likely to succeed. But I needed a distraction of some sort for it to work. I was strong enough to push him away easily, but I was in a precarious position, with my upper body leaning out over the railing. There was hardly any time, I was sure to lose my balance in a moment or two. I started thinking frantically of anything I could. May be, I could try out the plan without the aid of a distraction. It was worth a try anyway. I prepared for the last roll of the dice.

"Hey" The yell came at just the right time. For a moment he eased his grip, and it was enough for me to lift his body into the air with both my legs, propelling him high and above with an almighty thrust. I watched as he was hurled high and flung over the railing, his arms flailing wildly. With a blood curdling scream he was gone. I held on to the railing, feeling the cold metal on my sweaty palms, as I landed on the outer side of the railing. I hopped back inside, as I saw Balbhadra rushing upto me. We both looked out over the railing, but saw no signs of the assailant, it was too dark anyway.

We rushed down the stairs, to the back of the complex, but saw no signs of anyone there. I scanned the ground, but didnt find the knife either. Little flames flickered in the distance, from the lamp lit dwellings of the beggars and other vagrants.

"Are you alright?" he asked slightly timidly, as we were about to go back towards the center of the complex.

I looked up at him, into his eyes, and nodded my head slightly in affirmation - just slightly.

I walked to where my bike was parked, and scanned my pockets to see if I still had the key with me. It was there alright.