Time Will Tell - 3. Chapter 3

Time will tell

Chapter 3; Parts E & F

Too far gone

The days keep coming like there is no end. I try to move, but it doesn’t work. I feel trapped like a rat inside a cage. Flooded with the sights and sounds of happy people coming in and out. My emotions can’t take it much longer; I’m a stranger to this. Make it stop, please make it stop. Make all the badness go away; to never touch me again. To leave me broken on the floor with my shattered life surrounding it. Please make the bleeding stop. I don’t deserve to bleed out.

That is how I feel on a daily basis. People don’t care what they see; they only care about what’s going on in their own lives. I don’t blame them. I wish I was more like them, I wish that I didn’t have to be in this situation with my father. I can’t believe I still consider him one. Nor can I believe that I haven’t ended my life as of yet. But the temptation to do so is getting stronger every day. I want to say that day in the locker room with Trent helped me overcome what happened to me that morning, but all it did was drag me further into isolation. I withdrew my emotions and built a wall around myself. Saying that, I couldn’t very much leave my only friend. She is still a huge part of my life -- the only reason why I’m still here.

Oh, if it matters any, my friends decided that I couldn’t bear this alone. I say friends because Trent became a permanent fixture in my day to day life. Always catching me in the halls and asking me if I’m alright. Oh, yea I’m so alright that I don’t have bruises or lacerations on my body. I’m not healing from being hurt every single day of my so-called life. No, it’s just a figment of my imagination. Gee, get a clue. Okay, so I’m a little mean when saying it like that, in my diary.

Part E

Here starts another day in the life of Devon Dion Cooper; the star of the show. I really do need to learn how to actually operate. Be like normal teenagers, except for the fact that I have a demented father figure that loves to hurt me on a whim. Sigh, walking down the stairs like every morning, I find my father slumped in his chair, with a bottle of José Cuervo, being held, sort of. I don’t bother him. Walking past him quietly, I start to make him his breakfast. However, I don’t get that far. The bottle comes flying past me in a blur, smashing against the cabinet right next to my head; the contents of the bottle bathing me. I look towards my father with scared eyes. He snarls at me and faces the TV. “I want an omelet for breakfast. Don’t burn it or you’ll be having it somewhere it doesn’t belong. Understand?” He says, while flicking on the television.

“Yes, I understand.” I can’t ever have five minutes without it turning into another episode. Maybe my father has an anger problem, oh that’s not right, what’s the word I’m looking for? Dammit. Nevermind. I start in on his breakfast, making it just the way he likes. Without the spit again.

“Breakfast is served.” And yes, I leave out theyour majesty. Because then I wouldn’t have to find out that it wasn’t how he wanted it. I would be bent over, having the soft thing shoved somewhere.

“Good, now get showered. You’ll be late.” Wow, he actually said that without malice in his voice. Maybe things will change.

Walking past him towards the door, he says “That didn’t taste all that bad, next time add a little bit more salt.” That was it. I left the house, without being hurt. Whatever happened to him last night must have been good, because usually I’m limping along on the sidewalk. Oh, and another thing, he didn’t threaten me about being home on time. Which I still will do because, you know.

“Hey Tammy. Funny seeing you here, waiting this early,” I say with a smile on my face.

“Is that a real smile? Oh, it must be. Your father must’ve not abused you this morning. That’s a surprise.”

“You’re telling me. It was actually creepy, to tell you the truth. He was sort of nice. And I use sort of, very lightly.”

“Wow!” She says as the bus comes towards us.

“I’m glad.”

“Me too.” I looked at her sideways and I had to ask, “So what makes you want to wait out here this early in the morning?”

She doesn’t answer me right away. Tammy looks away from me in a shy way. Too cute for words, I have never actually seen her blush. “Are you blushing?” I giggled at her.

“Shut it. Will you! I don’t want the whole bus, and then the whole school finding out. This is so new to me, that it actually scares me.”

“Wow! Tammy, you have a boyfriend, don’t you?” I snickered.

And then she punches me before talking. “Yes, asshole. Can’t get anything past you today. Anyway, him and I have decided to keep it low key for now. We don’t even know if we are actually going to stay in a relationship. So please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who’s going to listen to me anyway? Everyone hates me.”

“They don’t hate you, per se. They think that you have this huge chip on your shoulder. And you come off a little mean most times. Don’t get me wrong, I understand it, and I get it. I have to! You’re my best friend. Also it’s because I know what’s happening to you at home. Anyway, back to what I was saying; the school talks. Everyone finds you unapproachable. Maybe changing how you act towards them might help. It might not. The only thing I’m saying is, try to be more positive.”

I sighed before speaking, “I can’t believe people actually think that about me. I mean I can’t reject everything you said, because the truth is, I am quite an asshole. And with what’s going on at home,” Sighing before I continue, “I keep everything locked away, even my pain I keep hidden because of my father. Because god forbid that I show any emotion. It sucks honestly. Anyway, back to what we were talking about. I’ll try to be more… Oh what’s the word?” Tammy just smirks, before she says,

“Nice? Honest? Smile a little? Hell I don’t know, just be better than you have been.”

“Thanks, like I know what the fuck to do.”

“You will hun. Just give it some time. Start small, and work your way up from there. You can’t do any worse than you have been.”

“I know that’s for damn sure.”

After that, we got off the bus. There, standing with his hands in his pocket, was Trent. He looked too good to eat. Like candy ready to be devoured; heh, don’t mind if I do. Laughing inside my head, I went towards him. I held out my hand for a shake, but instead, Trent enfolds me in his arms. Wow, what great muscle he has. Damn baby, when can we be alone? ”Down boy, down.” I said laughing, while blushing.

“Oh, oh! I’m sorry, Devon. I didn’t mean to do that. Well I kind of was…” He blushes with his head down.

“You guys are too much, this early. Get a room.” Tammy says, as she laughs her way into the building.

“Funny!” I say sarcastically.

“Whatever. I’ll see you at lunch. Both of you,” she says, as she turns the corner.

“Yea, later, Devon, sorry about that.” Trent throws over his shoulder, while he rounds the opposite corner.

Part F

“Mom.” I wait. “I’m home.” I hope she isn’t entertaining another guy. I couldn’t take it if she were. Don’t get me wrong, if I didn’t have my significant other, I would be doing the same thing.

“Hey, honey. How was school?” she asks, as she turns back towards the stove.

“Eh, well today we learned how to dissect a frog. Pretty nasty business, and I wouldn’t really like to do it.”

“Well, I never did like to do that either. That’s why I transferred out. I could not deal with the guts and slimy membrane.”

“Okay! On to more exciting news.” I pause because I like what my mother does, she turns around slowly and points whatever is in her hand at me. With a smile she says, “IF it is about sex, or about drugs, I don’t want to know. Well maybe the drugs. What were you saying dear?” she asks as she distracts herself with the shiny thing.

“I said I have some exciting news. One you might or might not approve.”

“And what that might be?”

“Jeff proposed to me today, in the court yard. He was romantic about--”

“He what!”

“You know proposed…”

“Honey, you are way too young, for starters. Secondly, he’s only like what, your third boyfriend? How can you know for sure that he is the right one?”

“Very valid question. Honestly, mom I don’t know if he is or isn’t. I love him with all my heart and I want to do this. Will you please, just support me on this?”

“Sigh, I wish it were that simple, Josh. However, I can’t support something that could leave you broken-hearted. Maybe in a few years. But I do have to say that was/is exciting news.”

“Now what about you? How is Skip doing?”

“I really wish that you wouldn’t call him that. But, he is doing alright. And his name is…” She pauses to think. “Hell, I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since…” Again another pause. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“And how am I supposed to look at you? Hmm, if you can’t remember his name or the last time that you have seen him, and then what does that make him?” I pause because she knew where I was heading with this. “Skip!” I burst out laughing.

“Again that isn’t very nice of you to call him that. But I do have to agree, maybe, just maybe, you’re correct on this one. Just this once.” She smiles. “Now go do something.”

“Alright, mom. I’m going to do some homework, before going to see Jeff.”

“Alright dear. Don’t stay out too late again.”

“I promise I won’t. I have a midterm test tomorrow morning.”

A little while later:

“Hey hun, how are you doing?” Comes Jeff’s voice through the phone.

“I’m doing alright, just finishing up with homework. What about yourself?”

“Oh, the same. While also being distracted by my fiancé.”

“Did you just call me fiancé?”

“Yes, I was trying it out. And it gave me goose bumps when I did.” He laughs; what a beautiful laugh, too.

“Hah, babe. You’re way too much right now. Want to come over and play a little before I kick you out so I can get some rest for tomorrow morning?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Be there in…” I can imagine him checking his phone. “In about fifteen minutes.”

“I’ll be waiting. I love you.”

“I love you too, boo!” He says as the phone goes quiet.

I sit there and ponder what my life will be like having Jeff as a husband. And I also think about my brother, Devon. I so want him in my life when I take the next step with Jeff. I want him to be my best man. If he’ll take it of course!

“Hey honey, what are you doing?”

“Sitting and thinking. Why? What do you need?” I ask my mother

“Oh nothing, I was just checking on you.”

“Alright, mom, Jeff is on his way over. But he isn’t spending the night. I need my beauty rest.”

“Ha! Beauty rest, he says. Priceless!” She cackles while she moves away from my door.

“What? It’s true. Don’t say that you don’t need any, either.”

“You just wait, mister. Time will catch up with you.”

And here ends another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have writing it…

See you soon with another update.

Remijay <3