Collections - 26. Chapter 26 -- Senior Consumer In Action

Let me start by saying that I usually don’t use coupons because they’re rarely for anything we need. But last week in Walgreen’s, I was given a “5 Dollars Off Your Next Purchase” coupon, so I thought, “OK, I’ll pick up some vitamins next week.”

Except today, with my five dollar coupon, I discovered that the store didn’t stock my vitamins. So I walked around looking for something we needed. Failing at that, I called Tom.

“Eye drops,” he said.

Luckily, his brand was on sale – seventeen bucks for one tiny bottle or twenty-two for two. An easy decision, and I took my two bottle microbox and my five dollar coupon to the register, expecting to pay eighteen bucks. But the clerk said, “No, this coupon is for your next purchase.”

“This is my next purchase,” I pointed out. “I got the coupon last week.”

The clerk replied, “And on this sale, we’ll scan the coupon, and then you’ll get five dollars off your next purchase. It’s a little confusing.”

No kidding. But I agreed, already forming a plan. Except then, the eye drops rang up at the full price – not showing the sale – and the clerk said, “Well, you need the digital coupon for that discount.”

“What’s a digital coupon?” I asked.

“Something you get when you’re in our rewards program.”

“But I am in your rewards program. That’s how I got the ‘five dollars off’ coupon.”

“Let me check,” the clerk said, quickly adding, “Yes. Yes, here you are.”

As the manager did the necessary override, I picked up some nearby cough drops, which Tom had also mentioned. I figured I’d use them as my second purchase to get my promised five dollars without waiting another week.

Both sales went through smoothly, automatically summoning digital coupons from the Ethernet, except the cough drops also generated a new “5 Buck Off” coupon. But since I thought that might happen, after squinting at the barely visible ‘sale’ tag on the shelf, I was ready with two tubes of toothpaste. I got them both for a buck, seven.

Overall, I saved sixteen dollars off fifty-six, though I only went into the store expecting to spend ten. Proving, as Stephen Sondheim wrote in a song about Italian bargaining, “You haven’t really saved a single lire, but you’ve won.”

The three sales also each generated a “Save $2.00" coupon. But they were for contact lens solution, which Tom and I don’t use. So I trashed them.