Memories... Yaadein - 3. Memories 3

It was the perfect day. The autumn sky looked like spring-cleaned. Not a spec of cloud and the sky was in its sparkling best. The soft rustle of the breeze through the autumn leaves was a tad bit melancholic; or was it only Karan? As he walked out of the hotel, dressed in his sherwani, he was detached from the group. None of the others saw the beauty of the October morning, no one noticed the brush of sadness in the air and Karan hardly noticed the group. He was quiet and stared straight ahead as he walked along with the group oblivious to what they were doing. He had genuinely thought that once he got up in the morning, the feeling of the night before would be gone; it was just a passing phase and he would feel whole again. But to his dismay, nothing had changed. He felt as strongly towards Rudra as he did the night before, if not stronger.

“My God! I thought you guys were never coming.” Raj was standing at the door with mock anger on his face, his eyes twinkling.

They were late. Haldi was over. Raj looked like a horrible case of jaundice. The group had taken for ever to get dressed and in the bargain, they all missed the ceremony. There were loud cheers and laughter and everyone wanted to talk at the same time. As Karan stood quietly looking at his friends engaged in an animated discussion, smile formed on his lips. Everyone was so excited. So was he, atleast he thought he was.

“You are so not doing this.” Karan took a step back as Raj came to hug him. He looked straight into Raj’s eyes, who had stopped short in the way. And not being able to keep a straight face for long, Karan lunged forward and wrapped Raj tightly in his arms.

“It still seems unbelievable. You actually getting married? Remember what you had told me years back? You would stay single and we would buy a house. I would live in the top story and you in the ground floor. What happened? Karan accused him, his eyes laughing. I am so happy for you. May God bless you.” Karan whispered in his ears as he embraced him.

The day went on and Karan got busy with his friends and the rituals of the wedding. He did not get too much time to dwell on Rudra. Or did he? Rudra was constantly there in his mind and Karan fought all day to keep him from popping up in his mind’s eye, and concentrate with what was happening around him. But it was a battle he was losing by the minute. When he got some free time, he started debating whether he should call Rudra. He still had his cell number. But he could not decide. Half of him told him to call and the other half stopped him from calling and making a fool of himself. Karan knew, if he called and got the slightest hint that Rudra was not interested in him or a bit irritated that he called, he would not be able to digest it. He was happy just to think that Rudra also liked him, even if not as much as he did.

“We are going to Mousouri this afternoon. Its 20 mins from here, by car. We will be there for about half an hour or so and then come down. We have come this far, we might as well go there. What say?” Chander was asking Karan. Karan did not want to go. Was not in the mood but he did not want to spoil the fun for others. He just shrugged his shoulders. Raj was paying for the entire trip. He wanted all of them to go as there was nothing much to do in the afternoon. As everyone got busy getting a hired car to go up there, Karan quietly slipped out of the house and went to the nearby phone booth. His heart got the better of him. He was about to call Rudra. He dialled the number and as the phone rang on the otherside, he waited with bated breath, his hands shaking, and he felt so weak in his knees.

“Hello”, a baritone voice echoed through the phone. Karan’s heart almost skipped a beat. He did not know what to say.

“Hello”, Karan replied in a quivering voice. His mind was in turmoil. He wanted to kick himself for ever calling Rudra. “This is Karan.” Finally he managed to say.

“Hey, what a pleasant surprise! How are you doing? How is your friends wedding going on?” Rudra asked Karan. There was a genuine interest in his voice.

“Yah, it’s going fine. How is your fever? Did you go to the doctor? I was a bit worried about you, so I called.” Karan stumbled all over his words. It was too much to handle for him. He sounded as if he was trying to make an excuse which Rudra will buy, for calling him.

“I am fine Karan. Thanks for calling. So what are your plans?”

“We are all going to Mussouri this afternoon. 6 O’ clock is the baraat and tomorrow at 6 in the morning we go back.”

“Oh! So we cannot meet.”

“No. I do not think so. I will e-mail you once I am back in Mumbai. I know you are on roaming. Should hang up now. Just wanted to check how you were”

“Yah sure. Enjoy your trip. And thanks for calling Karan. Take Care”

“You take care too. Bye”. Karan almost choked as he said the last words. He stood there long after Rudra had hung up, too dazed to move. Slowly he regained his composer and went out.

His friends were getting ready to leave. He got into the car and leaned back against the seat. His head was in turmoil. He could not think straight. He tried to participate in the singing and laughing with his friends. He almost succeeded. And soon they reached Musourrie. When he got out of the car, the first thing that hit him hard was the fact that everything seemed so familiar. He felt as if he had been there before. He was almost shocked out of his skin at this. But gradually he realized why it looked like as if he had been there before. He had been to Darjeeling quite a number of times. This place was exactly like it, but smaller. It looked like Darjeeling had been shrunk to make it look like Mussourrie. The same Tibetan people, the horses in the mall, the small handicraft shops, the smell of horses and fresh clean air which one generally gets at higher altitude, chilly, and tourists. He fell in love with the place instantly and didn’t want to go back. He wanted to spend the rest of his life there. He never felt so strongly even towards Darjeeling. What was his connection? Why was he getting drawn to this place so much? The marriage, his job, his family, friends, everything looked so unimportant to him at that moment. The only thing he wanted was to stay there for ever. Soon it was time for them to go back. He begged them to stay a bit more. But he knew they could not. They will have to get back, get ready, for the Baraat would leave sharp at 6.

Baraat did leave at 6. They danced their way to the marriage hall. This was a very new experience for Karan. He being from Kolkata, had never danced like this with the Baraat. He had seen this in films. The evening went well. There were too many things happening and he did not get time to think about Rudra, the entire night. The wedding was late in the night and by the time it ended; it was 5 in the morning. They dared not go to sleep as they had to leave by 6. They came back to the house and packed their bags and were ready to leave. When they reached the bus stand, the bus had left. So they stood waiting for the next bus. But there were none. They were getting panicky as they had their train tickets from Delhi at 4. They had to be there before that. Karan was looking around and suddenly within the crowd, he saw Rudra on a bike. He tried to see more clearly but he lost him in the crowd. He ran towards where he thought he had seen him. He elbowed through the bustling crowd and craned his neck and tried as hard as he could to see where Rudra went. But he was nowhere to be seen. Did he imagine it? He did clearly see him on a bike. How could he have mistaken it? But it was obvious even to him that Rudra was not there. And as he looked around, he realized he had come quite far away from where the group was standing. Frustrated and dejected, he slowly turned round.

The group was getting hyper by the minute as they could not get a cab to go down to Delhi. Karan couldn’t careless. He looked around disinterested. He himself had to join back his office the day after. But he didn’t care. Only thing he wanted was to stay back. There, in Derha Dun, forever. Finally they found a cab, which was ready to take them to Delhi. They stumbled into the cab and sat back relieved.

It became hot and stuffy in an hour’s time. The sun started beating mercilessly on the car. The scenery whisked past them as Karan looked out of the window, The dust, the dusty trees, the cows grazing lazily in the October sun, everything was brown, baige and drab. The air was humid and so thick; one could almost cut it with a knife. Finally he dozed off and so did the others. When he woke up, it was 2 in the afternoon. He was soaking wet and tired and cramped and his whole body ached. He swore under his breath as he tried to change his position in the overly cramped car and stretch out his legs.

In another hour, they were in New Delhi station. They paid off the driver, took their luggage and trudged up the gangway and to the platform. Once they boarded the train, Karan realized and not for the first time…he was saying Goodbye to Delhi forever and with that he was leaving his love back there. A love which would never be his, a love which was cut short before it even bloomed. He had no idea; his life would take such a different course, when he had left Mumbai 3 days back. Delhi had never appealed to him before. And from now on he would only remember Delhi as the place where he found and lost his love forever. As he stood at the door and watched the train slowly pull out of the platform, everything in front of his eyes became blurry and a lump caught at his throat.