Memories... Yaadein - 9. Memories 9

Varun was already awake when Imran walked into his room. He didn’t look as ghostly as he did the night before. He broke into a smile the moment he saw Imran. Imran almost ran to the side of the bed, flung himself on Varun, buried his face in the nape of his neck and his entire body wrecked with sobs. He clutched at Varun’s shirt with all his might as if he was scared he would lose him any moment. With the free hand Varun held him with all the strength he could master. The nurse standing at the corner of the room quietly got up and walked out with a smile on her lips. They stayed that way in each other’s arms for a long time. Slowly Imran lifted his head and looked into Varun’s eyes. They said nothing but their eyes spoke volumes as silent tears trickled down Imran’s face.

“The doctor said that I couldn’t shower for a week. But you just gave me a nice bath with your tears. That felt good,” Varun said with a mischievous grin.

“You jerk!” and with that Imran started laughing. “How did this happen?”

“It was late when I was finally done with the meeting so instead of waiting for a bus I took a rickshaw. Traffic was light but all of a sudden out of nowhere a bus came right in front and we rammed into it. The impact was so great, I flew out and the last thing I remember was seeing the ground rising up to meet me real fast and then darkness.”

“I almost died when I heard the news.”

“So did I when I hit the ground.”

“Oh shut up.”

Something changed in Varuns eyes and Imran caught the change immediately. He knew that there was something Varun wanted to tell him. They were so close to each other, every change of mood, attitude, the other could sense immediately.

“My parents called and they want me to go back to Chennai as there is no one to take care of me. I would not have much use of my hand and leg for a long time and that means I would need constant attending. So I was planning to leave for Chennai the day the hospital releases me. I would be back once I am fully fit.”

Imran sat there looking straight into Varun’s eyes. He started to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.

“I’ll take care of you.” the words almost didn't come out.

“You can’t. Be practical. I would need constant care. I can’t eat myself, go to the bathroom, take a shower or dress. You cannot do that.”

A guy who was too lazy to even do his laundry for himself, can never do all this. And this was not a matter of one day. it would take him weeks to fully regularise his life. Till then, he would be totally depended on other people.

“Give me a chance. I promise, I will do everything that you would need,” Imran was almost begging him.

“But I have already told my parents that I would go back.”

“Stay here for a week. After that if you still feel that I can’t take care of you as required, then go back to your parents. I will not stop you. Please Varun…let me try at least?”

After a long silence, thinking things over, Varun relented. Imran’s face lit up like a 1000 watt bulb. He bent down a kissed him lightly on the lips. There was a sound of a distinct cough which made Imran to spin round just to see the nurse standing at the door with a grim expression but her eyes twinkling. All the staff in the hospital by then had heard of what had happened the night before and how Imran had brought Varun out of unconsciousness. They were stunned and had developed a respect for both of them. Somewhere, the fact that they were both guys and it’s such a taboo in the society for two guys to be openly in a relationship, just dimmed in front of the power of their love.

By the end of the week, Varun was discharged from the hospital.

Once Varun settled in his bedroom and the nurses left, Imran went around the room straightening things up. Varun’s eyes followed him all around and he was visibly amused. He felt Varun’s gaze on him and turned to face him.

“What are you staring at me like that for?”

Varun had noticed on his way to the room…..the apartment was spotless clean, beds made, fresh bed spreads and covers, washed clean curtains. He was pleasantly surprised and impressed.

“Someone was hard at work, I see.” he said with a mischievous grin.

Imran blushed beet red. He avoided Varun’s gaze and went out of the room. Moments later he came back with lunch. Soup and boiled vegetables. He placed the tray next to the bed and propped Varun up with pillows but never said a word. Then slowly he started feeding him. None of them spoke for a long time.

“You made this soup? It’s good. When did you learn to cook?”

“I had the recipe for a long time but never tried it.”

“This is the only recipe you have? This is all that I would get till I get better?” he made his eyes big in mock horror.

“Yes, this is all that you will get for the next couple of weeks. You do not have much choice. So just shut up and eat.”

After lunch, Imran cleared the dishes and then came back to the room with a bowl for himself. Varun motioned him to come and sit beside him.

“You sure, you wanna do this? I can still arrange to go back home. You don’t really have to do this, you know.”

Imran stared at him for a long time, “I see that you don’t have too much confidence in me. If you are so worried, I think there is no reason why you should be here. I’ll talk to the hospital guys tomorrow and arrange to send you home. I do not want you to stay here just because I want you to and worry every waking hour.”

Varun realised that he had goofed up. “I am sorry. I didn't mean that. I have confidence in you. Just didn’t want you to take this burden.”

“So if it had been me instead of you, then I would have been a burden to you. Right?”

“I lose. I am sorry. God…no one can win an argument with you.”

“You should have known that by now.”

The matter was never brought up after that.

And then started Imran’s most trying days. It was way too much for Imran to handle. But he did not give up.

Imran’s days started at 6 in the morning. The days had never been this long and nights this short. The mornings were all about taking care of all his needs and cooking breakfast and lunch. In the afternoon he would sit with Varun and give him company while going through his office works that he had promised to do although he had taken 2 weeks leave. Then back into the kitchen for supper. He had to fish out from his limited knowledge of cooking, some palatable items. He was never a good cook. Hardly knew much. But he tried his best and what came out was not bad at all. After that, he himself would have dinner and clear everything up. Finish his paper work and by the time he went to bed, it would be past 12.

By the end of the first week, the strain started to show on his face. There were dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. But his spirit was indomitable. He was doing it all for his love. A few hours less sleep is a very negligible price to pay for being able to have your love of your life with you. Varun had done a lot for him, from letting him live in his house so that he could study in peace, to making him into the man he became and giving him the priceless gift of love. What Imran was doing was what a partner is supposed to do for another. And that love was his strength that pushed him forward through this phase.

Varun had no words for what Imran was doing for him. He had never imagined Imran could take such a huge responsibility and follow it through. With every passing day, his dependency towards Imran increased. There was a time when Imran was totally dependent on him. But then the roles changed. This new reversed role was something both were enjoying in their own way.

Soon it was time for his visit to the hospital for his check up. When the doctor saw Varun, he was surprised.

“I thought you had gone back to Chennai. Weren’t you planning to?”

“Yes, I was but then I decided to stay back.”

“You look quite healthy. So did your parents come over? Someone had been taking very good care of you.”

“No. Imran . He has done everything these last few weeks.”

“Oh my God. You serious? You are so lucky to have a friend like him. He has done a fantastic job of taking care of you.”

“Yah he sure did. I practically owe him my life.”

“Well, your initial reports say that the limbs are healing fine. Next week I expect to cut the plaster of your leg. But I think the arm would still stay for another week.”

“That’s fine doctor. Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome. I would need to speak to Imran if I can?”

“Yah sure. He is waiting outside.”

“You wait while I go and have a chat with him.”

Once outside…the doctor looked around the lobby till his eyes came to rest on a guy at the far corner of the lobby sitting sprawled on the couch, apparently asleep. His face vaguely seemed familiar to him. So he walked up to the guy and gently put his hands on his shoulder and shook him. Imran slowly opened his eyes and for a second he couldn’t figure out where he was. As his brain cleared, he jumped up and looked at the doctor straight in his eyes with a concerned look.

“Is everything alright doctor? Is Varun o.k.?”

“Hi Imran. Yah he is perfectly fine. I just came to let you know what a wonderful job you have done. No one could have taken better care of him.” The doctor’s eyes were gentle on his face. He was astounded at what he saw. He could hardly recognise this Imran from the one who had come at the time of the accident. This guy standing in front of him looked like, he had shrunk in half from his original size. Sunken eyes, dark circles all around them, the shirt looked like was hanging from a hanger. But he did not say anything.

“You will have to bring him next week and we will take his cast off his leg. But I think we will have to have the arm cast on for another week. His wrist is still delicate.”

“Yah sure. I will bring him next week.”

“Great. The lady at the reception will make an appointment for you guys for next week. Just speak to her before you leave.”

“O.K.. I have a question. Do not tell Varun that I have asked you this. After his leg plaster is removed, would he be able to travel?”

“Well…it totally depends on how he feels. But I think he would be able to. 3 weeks of bed rest is enough. What plans do you guys have?”

“Nothing as such. I was just wondering whether I could send him to his parents after he gets better.”

“I think you can do that. But I will confirm when you bring him next week.”

“Perfect. Thank you doctor.”

“No problem.”

The next week went more or less the same way. If anything good came out of this accident, it brought them together and bound them in a bond which was beyond anything. They just merged into one. As if they were the two sides of a scale which balanced their lives perfectly.

“I have something to tell you,” Imran was saying once they were back from the hospital. His cast was removed and Imran had spoken to the doctor and he gave the green signal that Varun can travel and there would be no problem.

Imran handed him an envelope. Varun looked into it and took out the flight ticket.

“What’s this for?”

“For you to go to Chennai. I thought you would want to go and visit your parents now that you are at least not totally bed ridden.”

“You are crazy. Here you were, did not want me to go. Now you yourself are giving me the tickets?”

“Well…I know that now if you go, it will not be for a month. You will go and come back in a week, max. And I think it’s just fair that your parents see you with their own eyes that you are recovering well. They must have gone through hell, constantly worrying about you. And moreover, the change would do you good. I have already taken permission from the doctor and he has given me the reference of a doctor there who can continue your physiotherapy. “

“You have thought of everything. Haven’t you?”, and he pulled Imran to him and kissed him long and hard, their passion increasing with every passing minute.

Imran finally pulled away gasping for breath. “Wow..that was intense. You are supposed to be sick. So behave yourself.”

Varun widened his eyes as if he did not know what Imran was talking about. But the hunger and passion in his eyes was unmistakable. But they both knew that they cannot go further than the kiss. Imran went to pack Varun’s bag. His flight was the next afternoon. He called his family beforehand to let them know he was coming so that someone would be there to receive him. That night they both did not sleep. They talked and talked about anything and everything. They just wanted to spend the night together before Varun left. Then finally Imran snuggled up to him and they dozed off just when the eastern sky started to lighten up.

Imran went to see Varun off at the airport. Varun promised to call him the moment he reached Chennai. They hugged each other and as his flight was announced, the airport personnel wheeled his chair away towards the gang way. Imran waited there long after Varun was gone.

He lay on the bed and started thinking about his life and what all happened in the last one year. Everything seemed like a dream. The sudden sound of the phone made him jump out of his skin. He had fallen asleep, exhausted and it was dark inside the room when he woke up. He fumbled in the dark and picked up the receiver. It was Varun calling to let him know, he had reached safely. The flight was on time and his Dad was at the airport. Varun had to hang up fast as there were guests in his house who had all come to see him. Imran looked at the watch; it was 9 in the evening. He switched the light off and went back to sleep. So many days of fatigue was catching up on him. His entire body ached and he felt so very weak.

He woke up the next morning feeling better. He made himself some breakfast. He had to get ready to go to office. But he just was not in the mood. He kept thinking of Varun and how he must be enjoying with his family. He suddenly started to miss him terribly. He realised, the more he stayed home, more he would be missing him. So he showered and shaved and left for office.

Varun called just as he was finishing his dinner. He spoke for some time and then he had to go as his family was waiting for him at the dinner table.

“When did you get your ticket done?”, Imran asked him when he called him one night. It was almost 10 days Varun had gone.

“I had to postpone it as I have some work I have to finish before I go back. It’s taking sometime. I will let you know as soon as I get my ticket.”

It was getting too much for Imran. He had not stayed away from him for such a long time since they got together. But he did not press him to come back.

Imran saw the answering machine sign blinking as he walked into the living room. He pressed the button. The message was from Varun telling him that he would call back later. It was almost a month Varun was gone. His treatments were being done in Chennai, his plaster from his arm has been taken off, Varun had told him the last time he had called. But he was still going around in a crutch. Imran had just sat down to a late dinner when the phone rang.

“Hi babes. How are you doing?”

“Hi Imran. How are you? I had called you earlier, you were not home.”

“Yah I saw the message. I just came from office. So did you get your tickets? When are you coming?”

There was a long pause. Imran could sense that Varun was struggling to say something. He held his breath as he knew whatever Varun had to say would not be pleasant.

“I have to tell you something.” Varun’s voice was almost a whisper.

“I am listening” Imran braced himself for bad news. Maybe his Dad or Mom was not well. Maybe he would have to extend his stay yet again.

This time when Varun spoke, his voice was choked. “Last week I got married.”

Time stood still. Imran almost forgot to breathe.

“I had no way out but to do it. They forced me as they thought that now I would need someone to take care of me and be with me as a companion. And moreover for them I am getting older and it was time. I just could not stop them. I am sorry.” Tears rolled down his face as he talked. It was splitting him in two to realise what he was doing to Imran. He could see Imran all alone in the house and his heart broke into a thousand pieces. “I am sorry. I am so sorry. I love you and will always love you.”

Imran just stood there and listened. His face was expressionless.

“I am coming back on the 28th. That’s in 2 weeks. You will have to find an accommodation by then as my wife would be coming along with me.”

“I will be gone when you come back. Don’t worry,” with that he put the receiver down.

After almost 2 years and a few thousands of miles in between them, it still manages to moist Imrans eyes. The crackling of the log in the fire-place brought him back from his reverie and he looked at the computer screen. He had sent the mail but was still really not sure whether he was making a fool of himself or not. But his heart just kept telling him that he had to write to this guy. He switched off the computer then, as it was very late at night. Thoughts of Varun still depressed him. He climbed into his bed and closed his eyes.

And at the other side of the world, thousands of miles away, in India, Karan walked into his office and first thing he did was open his mailbox and there was sitting among all the other mails, a mail from a guy called Imran Khan.