Memories... Yaadein - 6. Memories 6

“So what does your Mom’s report say?”

Karan was sitting across the battered sofa in the dimly lit lobby of the guest house. Rudra was at the far end of the sofa and there was an air of formality and courteousness in the conversation. The thought did cross Karan’s mind when he met Rudra; and that same thought was bothering him once again. Although he was chatting with him, the more he looked at Rudra’s face the more baffled he got. There was nothing exceptional in Rudra. He was not the most goodlooking guy he had ever met in his life. Almost a sense of relief, washed over him as he sat watching Rudra. Maybe he was not in love with him after all. Maybe he needed to see him a second time to realise that. It was just an infatuation he had when he had first met him.

“The doctor was not hopeful. But I have heard that Ayurvedic medicine works in such cases and so I want to start that treatment soon. Do you think it would be of any help?” Rudra’s voice was filled with hope but it had a sense of despair too. Karan did not want to give Rudra any false hope.

So he started to say, “Well….Cancer is a disease which has no cure. You can ofcourse try Ayurvedic and see what happens.” He wanted to say more but he saw the look of dismay on Rudra’s face. “What a jerk I am, Karan thought.”Where I am supposed to give hope to him, I am telling him in no uncertain terms that no matter what he does, his mother is finally going to die.” Karan felt like kicking himself. He wanted to repair the damage his words had made when suddenly the elevator door opened and his sister came out hauling the luggage. His mom and dad followed behind her.

“DO you realise what time it is? Or do you plan to miss the train? You expect me to haul your luggage for you?” Karan’s sister reprimanded him.

Karan looked at his watch in dismay. It was 4:00. His train leaves at 4:20. He had forgotten about it totally. Both of them quickly got up. Karan introduced Rudra to his parents and sister and they dragged the luggage out and hailed a rickshaw. They loaded the rickshaw , and they walked along side of it. Rudra wanted to stay till Karan’s train left, so Karan stood in the line to get him a platform ticket. While they waited in the line, Karan took out a small brown paper packet from his pocket. Rudra looked at it enquiringly. He took out a bracelet and a chain. They were a set which he had bought in Dharamshala for Rudra. He took hold of Rudra’s hand and tied the bracelet and looked up at him.

“One part would be with you and the other part with me. When we meet next time I will see whether you still have it or not.” saying this Karan wore the chain round his neck.

“I will see too, whether you wear the chain or not the next time we meet.”

“I will always. But will you?”

“Time will tell.”

“Yes, time will tell.”

Once acquiring the ticket, Karan picked up one bag, Rudra picked up the other and turned to head towards his platform. As he was turning away, he heard his mother saying,” You are so much in a hurry to leave, you did not even think it necessary to say goodbye to us?”

Karan slowly turned round with a sheepish grin. His want to be with Rudra alone and talk to him was so great that he totally forgot to take his parents blessing before leaving. This also struck him odd. Does Rudra come even before his family? Did he not come to the conclusion at the guest house that he was not in love with Rudra? It was just an infatuation which was now over? Nothing made sense to him. He touched his parents feet , took their blessings and slowly walked away.

Once in the platform, it did not take long for them to locate the compartment. They found the seat, pushed the luggage under and came out to stand on the platform. Time was running out. Karan had so much to tell Rudra. But he knew he would not be able to. He didn’t want to start something he would not be able to finish.

“So we always seem to meet just to part ways.”

Karan nodded with a shy smile. “I want you to know one thing…wherever I am, I will always consider you to be a very good and special friend of mine.”

Karan could not take it any more. Tears started pouring down his face as if there was no tomorrow. He struggled hard not to make a fool of himself. Rudra just considers him to be a good friend. What was he doing? He suddenly leaned forward and hugged him tight. Rudra was a bit taken a back and Karan could feel him stiffen in his arm. Karan let go but the damn tears would not stop.

“If you do not stop crying, I will leave right now.”

Karan wiped his tears and forced a meek smile and said’ “I am sorry.”

“I will ask you a question, just before the train leaves and you can think about the answer all the way back home.”

“It’s only 2 mins before the train leaves. Ask me now.”

Rudra looked deep in Karan’s eyes and very softly asked, “Why do you love me so much?”

Karan stood looking at him, stupefied. He was not expecting this. How does Rudra know that Karan loves him? He had never told him. Not in his mails nor over the phone and definitely never in person. But he knew. How?

“What type of a question is that?” Karan wanted to avoid saying anything .

“Remember one thing, till you exist in this world and till I exit from this world, I will always be your friend. We may not meet much or maybe ever, but I will always be there. And you will always have a special place in my heart and my life.”

Karan again felt his eyes moist over and he shifted his gaze from Rudra’s face and looked away over his shoulder. He could no longer see the compartment, everything was a blur. Without thinking Karan hugged him and this time Rudra hugged him back. He did not want this moment to pass. He wanted to hold him in his arm till eternity. The whistle of the train brought him crashing back to reality. It was time for them to say goodbye. This time for ever.

Karan had thought that once he had met Rudra, he would realise that he was not really in love with him and so would go back home, whole. But what he realised now as he pulled himself away from him and slowly climbed the steps, he had lost a part of his heart when he had met Rudra two months back and this time he lost it totally. He would go back home but an incomplete man.

As the train slowly started to pull out of the platform, Karan’s tears new no bound. They kept on coming in waves, shuddering deep down inside him, climbing up his body and erupting through his eyes like a volcano…hot and scorching. He didn’t care who saw him and what people might be thinking…if at all. He wanted to run down the steps and keep running till he found the firm grip of Rudra’s arms which had held him not too long back. He stood at the door till he could no longer see him and long after that. He couldn’t imagine what his life would be after that day.

Well… not all love stories have happy endings. Not everyone lives happily ever after.

cont.....