Memories... Yaadein - 8. Memories 8

“I love you.” Varun was propped up on his elbow, looking down at Imran’s eyes. The sincerity tore at his heart.

“I love you too. I did, the first day I walked into the office and saw you. But I never thought I would hear the same thing from your mouth. To-night, in your house, lying in your bed, my belief in miracles is re-enforced.

Varun leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips, as if putting a seal on an agreement. An agreement of a lifetime. They belonged to each other from then on. When Varun lifted his head again and looked into Imran’s eyes, his eyes were moist. Imran took him in his arms and held him to his heart and they stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms till they drifted off in a peaceful sleep.

The next morning, Imran moved into Varun’s room. Life had never been more beautiful. They went on with their lives as a married couple. They went to office together, lunch would be at a small restaurant next to the office. At the end of the day, they would go home together. If one finishes early, he would wait till the other was done. Few days there would be home made lunch. Varun was a decent enough cook.

Varun was in a way a perfectionist. Living with him brought remarkable changes in Imran. Imran was a lazy and happy go lucky guy. Doing daily chores, house jobs, laundry were not his forte. He would shove his soiled undergarments under the bed every night once back from office. Finally when one day he would realise there were no more fresh, clean ones, he would go out and buy a new set of underwear but would never wash the soiled ones. This was Imran before he met Varun. Over the months, Varun’s cleanliness, sophistication and good values permeated into him. There was a distinct change in him. And in sex, Imran moulded himself as per Varun’s likes and needs. Varun almost made a new Imran, who was essentially his. His stamp was everywhere. They were a perfect couple. Their lives couldn’t have been better, till one day…….

Imran paced up and down the hall, frequently looking up at the clock. It was past eleven at night and Varun was still not home. He had never been this late. It was a Saturday, Imran didn’t have to go to work. They were planning to go out to a movie and then dinner. But a phone call from office put an end to that. He was asked to be in office for some emergency meeting. Imran was disheartened.

“Babes, I need to go. But I will be back as soon as possible.”

Imran was not impressed. After a long-time, they had planned an evening out. Of late, work at office had been maddening. They hardly saw each other during office hours. At times they would not even have time for lunch. Year endings were always bad. When they come home, they would be too exhausted and would be in bed in no time. The weekends were also not spared. After a long time they had got the weekend off and now Varun had to go for some stupid meeting.

“What about the meeting?” Imran asked indignantly.

“Lets do the movie tomorrow. We can go out for dinner tonight. I promise I will be back soon. The meeting would not take more than a couple of hours.” Varun looked warmly at him and pulled him into a tight hug. But it was hard to pacify Imran and Varun knew that very well.

“Whatever,” Imran walked out of the room with a shrug of his shoulder once Varun released him from his embrace.

Varun smiled as he saw his retreating back. “He is still so immature”, he thought with so much of affection. And he loved him all the more for that. He was so unadulterated, pure, soft caring and a genuinely nice guy. Varun felt very lucky to have him in his life.

This was at 3 in the afternoon. Till 9 there was no sign of him. Imran was getting impatient. He finally had called the office to check how long the meeting would go on. The phone kept on ringing and finally went into the fax machine. Obviously there was no one at the office. He had no way of knowing when the meeting ended. “Maybe they had just left office. I should give him some more time. Its only 9:30,” Imran reasoned with himself. But when 9:30 turned to 11 and still there was no sign of Varun, Imran had started to panic. He stopped in front of the window and looked out at the deserted street, half expecting to see Varun walking up the patio. But his gaze was met with the stillness of the night. The street lights made the trees look black and ominous. There was no wind and everything was still, as if waiting…. waiting for something, too scared even to breathe.

Imran jumped out of his skin at the sound of the phone ringing. Finally Varun got time to call him, Imran was furious. Even before picking up the call, Imran knew what Varun would be saying. But he was determined not to give in. He would not soften but he would show him how mad he was, but he knew that would be difficult. Varun knew the exact way to melt him like a pound of butter no matter how angry he was. He picked up the phone but said nothing. He knew he didn’t have to. Varun would start rattling a long string of apologies and would try to explain what actually happened and how he tried so very much to come home early but could not, the instant he picks up the call. Imran was prepared for it.

Imran frowned, there was not a word from the other side although he could hear voices at the other end. So obviously the caller was still there. Suddenly all his previous fears came rushing back.

“Hello”, the word almost did not come out.

“Hello. Could I speak to Mr. Imran Khan?”

Imran could not recognise the voice. This must be some kind of joke Varun was playing to pacify him, he thought. “If that’s what Varun wants, I will play along but he will have to face me once he comes home. He will not get away so easily.”
“Speaking. Who is this?”

” This is Rao from the Lifeline Nursing Home. Mr. Varun had been brought in here earlier this evening. He had an accident. “

Imran stood frozen to the ground and it seemed as if time stopped right then and there. He just stood there staring at the wall in front, without any expression. It looked like someone had pressed the Pause button in his life.

“Mr. Khan? Are you there? Hello?”

He slowly removed the receiver from his ears and looked at it in disbelief. Gradually, the whole thing started to sink in. After the initial shock, his mind slowly started to function again.

“Yah, I am here. Sorry. How is he?” His voice was almost a whisper. He braced himself and closed his eyes as he waited for the answer.

“He has suffered a broken arm and a leg and a injury in the head and is in ICU. We found your number in his wallet.”

He was shivering from head to toe by then. “I will be there. Thanks for calling.” words tumbled out of his mouth. He put down the phone, ran into his bedroom, threw some clothes on and ran out. He hailed a cab and was in front of the nursing home gates in 15 mins flat. All the time, he kept telling himself, this cannot be happening. Everything seemed so unreal..as if he was in a bad dream. Soon someone will wake him up and it will be all over.

At the front desk, he was asked to wait for the doctor. As he looked around the waiting room, the stench of the antiseptic in the air and the hustle and bustle around almost made his stomach churn. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to face the doctor. ” Mr. Khan?”
“Yes, doctor. How is Varun?”
He held his breath as the doctor started to explain his condition. “His hand and leg injuries are not severe. They would heal in time. I am more concerned about his head injury. He is unconscious. If he doesn’t regain consciousness in 48 hours, his condition could be serious. He has lost a lot of blood. We can only determine the extent of his injury internally once he regains consciousness. I am sorry.” Imran closed his eyes as he drank all this in. He felt he would pass out.

“Are you alright?” The doctor gave a concerning look.

“I am fine, thanks. Can I see him?”

“Yah sure.”

Imran walked into the room and froze at the sight that met him. Varun was lying on the bed, eyes closed, face a deathly pale, a cast covering one of his arm and leg. His leg was put on some type of a sling or pulley. His head was bandaged and there were smudges of red at a couple of places. There were IV’s put in his arm and leg. The room was filled with monitors and they hummed and beeped as if giving out signals of death.

As Imran stood there, taking in all of this, his vision started to blur. He was blinded with his own tears. Seeing Varun in such a state felt as if his entire life had come to a standstill. He slowly made his way to the bed and gingerly touched his hand.
“Hi baby. How are you doing,” he whispered. Tears were streaming down his face. There was no response.

"Even in coma, they can still hear us-right?" , he asked the nurse sitting in the corner without even looking up.

He took his hand in his and stared at his face.

“Look at me babes. Please. Open your eyes. Talk to me; I am no more angry. Its o.k. We will have dinner tomorrow and go to the movie. I love you sweetheart. Do not do this to me.”

He held his hand and kept on talking to him. He was sure Varun could hear him even if he was unconscious. He talked about everything…. the plans they had made for the summer and the places they were supposed to visit in the vacation. The arrangements that were still needed to be done and how he could not do all of that alone.

“You cannot lay here in the hospital while I work my butt off. Do you hear me? You will have to come and help me. And if you do not get well fast, they will not give us more leave. Our tour would be cancelled. Do you understand? The house without you would eating me alive. I get scared in the middle of the night. You know that. You need to be there to comfort me. Come on sweetheart…. I cannot go back alone in that house.” Imran was telling him whatever came in his mind. Whether he made sense or not didn’t matter to him. The nurse at the corner of the room stared in surprise. Minutes passed into hours. Imran was still sitting and talking.

"Can I get you something to drink? Juice or water?" The nurse was standing at the door ready to leave.

"I am fine, thank you."

"It'll be morning soon. Why don't you go, have some coffee, freshen up before my shift changes?"

Imran didn't move. "I'll talk to him. I'll make sure he knows you have just gone for coffee and will be back in a few." This time Imran looked up. She smiled at him like a mother would to his tired, helpless, exhausted child. He got up slowly and nodded at her as he walked out.

The hallway was desearted. It was still early. The sky was just turning pale. He got himself a strong cup of coffee. The first sip almost made him throw up. He hadn't eaten since lunch. He threw the coffee in the garbage and was back in the room. The nurse was suprised to see him back so soon but didn't say anything. He cupped Varun's face gently with his hands and kissed him on the forehead.

He knew time was running fast. He cannot let Varun slip into coma. But he didn't know what he could do to stop it either.
“Do you remember the day when we spoke first? Before that you used to be a snooty bastard…so much attitude you had. You still do. That’s why you are lying here and not talking to me. You love to see me miserable…don’t you? Wait till you get better, I will cook and then you will have to eat all of that. That would be my revenge for putting me through all this. Remember the first time I cooked for you? Your face was priceless after you took the first bite.” Imran was smiling through his tears as he talked.

It was almost afternoon. The night nurse was gone. There was someone new in the room but Imran barely noticed. He was still sitting next to the bed and trying everything in his power to coax Varun to return to him. The doctor stopped by to check on him. He said the condition was pretty much the same. The good part, it had not deteriorated.

"I didn't tell you. Mom called yesterday. She wants to come and visit Hyderabad. She hasn't gone out much, you know. I have told her about you. She wants to personally thank you for being so kind and generous to me. Wonder what will happen when she realises we sleep in the same room, in the same bed? She is gonna freak. He couldn't help but smile at the vision of his mom in their home and her expression while she realizes the dynamics between Varun and her son.

"She is gonna like you. I am sure. When she sees what all you have some for me and how much you love me, she will come around. Its Dad we need to worry about. Do you think your parents would ever accept me?" He never thought of that before till now. He was very content with the present arrangement and setting. Didn't really thought about the future. The irony was, when he did think about it, it was a time when his future was very unsure. Everything was slipping away like a handful of sand. The tighter he tried to hold them in, the faster they slipped away through his fingers. He got up and went out for some air. The evening sun had cast long shadows in the front lawn. He had been sitting beside Varun for almost 24 hours. He didn't know what else he could do to help. But he was determined to be there, beside him, no matter what happens. He was fighting a battle blindly, armed only with faith and love. How long could he go on till his resources would not be good enough? This helplessness and pain that was clutching at his heart were very new to him. He had never felt emotions quite like this ever before for anyone.

"You know, he never liked hospitals and doctors? the nurse looked up from her knitting. He always said that hospitals are one place where everyone is miserable except ofcourse the people in the maternity ward. People are in pain, sick, scared, and most importantly helpless and in mercy of someone else.

"Look at you. The place you hated the most is where you are now, he turned to Varun again. I am not a big fan of this place either. So lets get out of here as soon as possible. Ok? You are unconscious so you don't get the smell. This constant smell of spirit, antisceptic, medicine and whatever they use to mop the floors and tiles is nausiating."

He had been at it for hours now. He was exhausted to the very bone. But he kept talking, urging him to hang in there, forcing him to come back. No changes so far. But Imran was relentless. Suddenly he saw Varun brows twitch. He stopped and stared closely but nothing more happened. He dismissed it as reflex. He kept talking and after a few mins he again saw his eye brows twitch. “Babes, can you hear me? Can you press my hands for me baby? Please try….” The nurse walked up to the bed and stared at the two. “Yes sweetheart..try a bit more. I know it hurts but please for my sake.” Slowly Varun’s fingers curled and he held Imrans hand. Imran almost choked on his sobs but kept talking to him. “Fantastic…try once again babes. Just one more time.” There was no response for a long time. Then slowly again Varun closed his fingers on his. “Excellent! Now can you open your eyes? Try babes. Don’t you wanna see me? I am right here. I want you to look at me while I talk to you.” There was again silence for a long time and then there was a flutter in Varun’s eyes and ever so slowly he opened them a little bit and closed them again.It was a great effort to open them. Imran was smiling through his tears. His joy knew no bounds. The nurse looked at him, she had never seen anything like this before. Tears were streaming down her face as she saw them fight death together. Imran brought him back to life, snatched him away from the clutches of death. She smiled at Imran through her tears and ran out to call the doctor. When the doctor came, Varun was groaning in pain. The doctor checked him, his eyes, his heart the monitors and satisfied gave him injection which would ease his pain. The effort seemed to have worn him out and Varun went back to a peaceful sleep.