A Second Chance - 8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I went into my room, and undressed. I knew that I was not going to get much sleep, with the problem that was looking up at me, I tried to will it away, but the more I tried, the harder it seemed to get.

I was tired, and JC was just across the hall. I was imagining us together then an eerie feeling came over me, like something or someone was watching me. I got out of bed, put on my robe, then stumbled around the house, looking for a flashlight; not wanting to wake JC by turning on the lights. That was useless because his door opened, and there he stood in his jockeys. AsJC turned on the lights. My god, it was James reincarnated.

"What's wrong Uncle Charlie?" he asked.

I found myself staring at him, not wanting to stop then I spoke, "I have this eerily strange feeling that someone, or something is watching us."

JC- Looking concerned...

"Uncle Charlie do you have a Spare robe? I can help you look."

"Yes.” I replied, “There’s one hanging on the back of my bedroom door."

I continued my hunt for a flashlight. Eventually I found one that worked, but the feeling had not subsided. There wasn’t anything or anyone in the house, other than JC and me. He came out of my bedroom wearing the robe. I liked the view better before.

We both went outside, looking around, I had never felt like this before. I was nervous and quite uneasy, but I felt safer with JC at my side. We walked around the house; the moon was full, and so bright that you could see very well, even without the flashlight. There was nothing there, but that strange feeling was still with me. I said, "Can you feel it JC? There is something, I can’t put my finger on it, but there is something here."

"Sorry uncle, I don't seem to feel anything but the crisp night air."

I looked to the south, and there was Casper Mountain in the moon glow, with a wisp of a cloud hanging over her. There must have been a billion stars out, and the sky was crystal clear. I told JC, "You see that wisp of a cloud up there over the mountain?"

JC…"Yes." wondering why he was showing me that?

Charles…"Well that’s where your Uncle James' ashes are. That’s where he wanted to be." My eyes were leaking. Lonely tears dripped down my cheeks.

JC…"Charlie, do you really still miss him that much?" I Wanted to know, I could see the tears in his eyes, I just knew he did, but still I wanted to hear him say it. Maybe then I would know if I had a chance.

"Charlie… I am just a sentimental old fart, that’s getting older by the day, and yes I miss him so very much. Our lives together were cut way too short, way too soon. There have been so many, many things we wanted to share together, but fate and a drunken driver tore us apart."

JC thinking…

“I need to ask this question. I’m scared of the answer, but still I need to know.”

“Charlie, have you ever tried to find someone else to share your life? It’s been more than 30 years now. I can see you miss him. I miss him too, but life goes on, uncle."

Charlie... "Yes I miss him very much, and, yes, I have noticed a few men over the years, that have sparked my eye, but it’s like, I don’t know, it’s like I am comparing them to some mythical being."

"Uncle Charlie, you know who it is, don't you? That mythical being is Uncle James. I can see it, and I'm sure all your dear friends can see it too."

"I know that, believe me, I know that. I have tried to push him out of my mind, when I am with someone else. It’s like I need his approval, or something." Then the wind picked up blowing ever so softly, and I could almost hear it say, "It’s all right, it's all right my love."

I Shivered, and looked at JC. I asked him, "Did you hear that?"

JC…"I just heard the wind in the trees. Was there something else?" I wondered what I was supposed to have heard.

Charlie...“JC, It was like the wind was talking to me, saying,” ‘it's all right, it's all right, my love.’” A chill went up my spine.

JC…"Uncle Charlie, maybe James is talking to you, telling you to be free, and wanting you to find someone. You know he wouldn't want you to be alone forever, now would he?"

Charlie…I just stood there looking at the mountain. Saying, "I guess he wouldn't, but it's so hard to forget him. Now look JC, the cloud above her is gone now, and the strange feeling I had is gone, as well. I guess it's just a crazy old man's dream again."

JC... "Don’t say that, Uncle Charlie, please, you’re not a crazy old man, you are a good looking elderly gentleman. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart."

Charlie... "Thank you JC,"

"I meant that, please remember that."

"Well I think its time to hit the sack again. If I remember right, we were not going to chat tonight, but wait until tomorrow."

JC…I looked at my watch, and said, "Well uncle it’s tomorrow." I smiled at him.

We both went back to our respective rooms, telling each other goodnight for the second time.

JC...

Back in my room I removed the robe. I stood in my jockey's staring in the mirror, again wishing I could be with Uncle Charlie. Oh how I wish I could see him naked. I'm sure, from what I see, he is in excellent shape. The image in my mind, of him was producing the signs of how much I wanted him. My cock was protruding over the top of my waistband, and I needed relief, so I pulled off my underwear, and got into bed, thinking of Charlie. I stroked my cock, slowly, playing with, then pinching, my nipples, first one then the other, all the time stroking and playing with my balls, fantasizing about it being Charlie; stroking me. Feeling my balls filling with the nectar of life, I stroked faster, squeezing my balls gently, tracing them one at a time. Then I inserted my middle finger into my mouth, getting it wet, and sucking on it. I wished it were Charlie’s cock that I was sucking. I then reached with my left hand, using the same finger, I began to insert it into my ass, feeling for my prostate. I found it, and I massaged it ever so tenderly, my eruption was near. My right hand was a blur now, bringing me to the edge of no return. I could have cared less if Charlie had walked in at that moment, in fact, secretly, I wished he would, yet I knew he wouldn't. I tried so hard to be quiet, but when my eruption spewed forth, and with each surge, I groaned and, with each successive surge, my groans got louder. I was trying oh so hard to be quiet. It felt so good; jacking off in the room right across the hall from Charlie, I wished it could have been both of us together. In the after glow of my orgasm I lay their thinking.

I was trying to figure a way to approach him. I thought, why am I calling him Uncle Charlie? It dawned on me, I call him uncle, but he is not, no not Uncle Charlie, I gave him that name, could that be it? He is gay I know that, but why has he not approached me? Again, a light flashed in my mind. Does he even know I am Gay? I love older men. He is not too old for me, Oh God, that's it! Of course, that's it! He respects me, and thinks he is too old for me. Well I am good looking, or so I‘ve been told, and he is not my uncle; a blood relative, and NOT too old. Then what is it? He still loves Uncle James, or something seems to have a hold on him. I was so tired, that everything I had been thinking was a blur, and my mind was fuzzy now, so I cleaned up my mess rolled over and went back to sleep.

Charles…

Leaving JC at the door, I went into my room and just dropped the robe on the floor. Then I crawled into bed, I thought back to the hallway, and the near naked JC, and how fucking gorgeous he was. This daydream was not going to keep me awake. I was so damn tired, and really wanted to sleep. I still remembered the wisp of a cloud over Casper Mountain, and what I heard. Yes, I heard it even if JC didn't. My feelings for JC are growing stronger, but I am still too old for him, even if we both wanted it. My god, by the time he is 50 I will be 85 or gone. That’s just not fair to him. Charlie put those thoughts out of your mind, and come back to earth.

Then I thought I heard someone groaning across the hall. I wondered if JC was still awake. I almost got up and when over to see, but I thought again of what could never be.

I just snuggled up with my pillow, and went to sleep.

I woke up smelling fresh coffee, so I got out of bed, picked up and put on my robe. I went into the hall, I noticed JC's door was open. I looked in and saw that his bed was made. I wondered where he was, so I headed into the kitchen, where I found Clyde. "Good morning Clyde have you seen JC?"

"Good morning, Charles, yes he is outside somewhere I told him, as soon as I had breakfast ready, I would let him know."

"I must have been tired sleeping so late, or I'm getting old." I smiled at Clyde.

"You’re not old Charles, just matured like a fine wine." I chuckled at him.

"If you see JC before I get back, let him know I will be out as soon as I get a shower." I turned and headed back to the bathroom, to take care of other necessities, I dressed then I returned to the kitchen. Clyde was still working on breakfast, but there was no sign of JC. I told Clyde, "I'm going outside, when breakfast is ready, just give a yell, OK."

"Ok will do, Charlie"

As I opened the door to exit the house, I spotted JC. He was on the patio, sitting in one of the patio chairs, looking up at the mountains. I don't think he even noticed me, as I approached him, I said, "Good morning young man, did you get a good nights rest?"

Somewhat startled, JC turned, looked up at me, smiled broadly, and said,

"Yes! I sure did, and how was yours Charlie?"

JC…I thought; I am stopping the uncle bit, I need to start treating him as someone that I want to love me, for god’s sake, I think, I’m falling in love. Now I have to show him how much I care for him. I was still, in fear of him rejecting me, for unfounded reasons.

Charles…"I had a great night, after we got though that episode last night. I heard some groaning from your room. Was everything ok in there?"

JC…I thought, “Oh shit, he heard me. I blushed a bit. I said, " oh yes, everything was just fine, Charlie. I must have been talking in my sleep." I have to be more careful doing that in there, I thought.

Charles…Changing the subject, I asked, "JC how much of this place do you remember? I know you left when you were just a little guy." I wanted to find out what happened in his life.

"Well Charlie, I don't remember anything about Casper other than knowing my grandparents lived here. I only got to come back here, when I was maybe, two or three, to see grandma and grandpa. I wished many times that the folks would bring me back, but there lives were their lives and I was just there." I didn’t want to get into talking about my past, because it hurt to think about it.

"So where did you live after you left Casper?" I thought He still seems upset with his folks.

"We moved to Jacksonville, Florida. I grew up there. I spent my entire childhood hanging around the beach, with my friends. I turned into a typical beach bum, and did a lot of surfing as I got older." I realized I needed to tell him everything. I didn't want any secrets to keep us apart.

"Sounds like you had a wonderful childhood, how did you do in school?" This was great JC was opening up to me . . . Now I would find out what happened with his mom and dad.

Just then Clyde came out, ringing the dinner bell. Really, it was a triangle-shaped piece of steel rod, with a short steel rod you banged around inside the triangle, making a horrible sound.

JC and I got up and headed for the dining room, upon arriving we found, a delightful breakfast waiting. There was a wonderful western omelet, with hot sauce and sour cream, condiments, buttered toast and jelly, and of course fresh hot coffee.

"Clyde said, "Enjoy! I have to run for a bit Charlie, to get some things for dinner, Ellen will be here in a few, so she will clean up the mess. Is there anything special you guys would like for dinner?"

"Not really, I am happy with anything you prepare, it’s like a surprise party, and I am happy with your fixin’s." I grinned at him.

I said, ”JC, Ellen is the housekeeper, and she comes in every day, for a few hours, or until she is finished. She has only been with us since Nancy left us. Her health got to a point where she just couldn't handle it anymore. I sure miss the dear old gal though."

The food was so good that we just sat there eating until I heard a car pull up outside. I knew it was Carl, coming to pick us up for our shopping trip. I said, "JC, our wheels have arrived. Are you ready to go for a shopping spree? " I Looked at him with an evil grin.

"I only need a few things, Charlie, Kmart or Wal-Mart will be fine. I don't need anything fancy." I figured, all I need is a couple of shirts and maybe a couple of pairs of jeans.

"Oh no you don't! Your uncle Charlie is going to spoil you today!" I knew I wanted to take him to Demarkus's, a great shop for all kinds of clothing.

"Really Charlie you don't need to do that, I don't need much." I thought, he really doesn't have to do that. I have money.

"Nonsense it's my treat. This old man has more money than . . . Well you get the picture. So get your ass in gear and let’s move." I gave him a sincere stare.

"Ok if you must, I won't argue with you, let’s go." I smiled at him.

Charles…We headed outside, and climbed into the car. Carl drove us into town and to Demarkus's. As we entered the store, I asked for Bill, the store manager, and he was immediately summoned. When he arrived, I told him, "This young man is my nephew and whatever he wants, I don't care what it costs, You get it for him, and put it on my tab."

Bill replied, "Yes Mr. Lambert, anything he wants, he will get, you can bet on that." I smiled at him and the gorgeous young man.

Charles…"Thank you, Bill. My nephew's name is JC.

JC, this is my friend Bill. He will take good care of you." I looked at Bill. I smiled at him with a look of confidence, and firmness.

JC said, “Well, all I need is a couple pair of jeans, and a few shirts."

Bill asked, "What style you looking for, casual, western, or formal? And in what sizes do you need them?"

JC…I thought for a few seconds, and I told him, "I think since I'm here in Casper, Western or Casual, and my sizes are; Shirts XL, my trousers are waist 34" and length 34". I think that’s about right, I'll try them on anyway . . .

Charles…I made an excuse and I asked Bill to step into the office to check my bill. He looked at me funny, for a second, and then realized, that I wanted to talk to him in private. So he left JC, looking at some shirts, and we headed for the office. Once in the office I told him. "Get something to write on, because I'm giving you one heck of an order. I want the best quality merchandise you have, in everything JC picks out. Then multiply that by four, add to the order 12 pair of Jockey shorts, 12 tee shirts, and 12 pairs of socks, also two or three suits, you choose them, but make them Western, and add a couple of nice sports jackets. Oh yes and don't forget the shoes. Make sure they’re comfortable, and add in a good pair of cowboy boots. Oh yeah, and put in a nice western hat. Don't let him in on much, as it's a surprise. Just make sure you have them correctly sized; then deliver everything you can today. If they need, alterations have that done and deliver them tomorrow. Is that all understood?"

"Yes Mr. Lambert, let me go over this order again with you?" I repeated the order back to Mr. Lambert. And all was correct.

Bill went back out into the store, and I just walked around, checking for some things for myself, until JC was finished. Before I left, I talked to Bill again. I told him to add whatever accessories, like belts, neckties, bolo ties, etc. that he thought might be needed, and again, I made sure he knew to have as much of that order at the ranch today as possible.

As we came out of the store, JC said, "That was so nice of you Charlie, you know you didn't have to do that. I have my own Money, and I needed some new things anyway."

JC…I thought, Good grief, that cost him a lot, all the brand names, were expensive.

Charles…

"I know that, but I wanted to do it. Don't begrudge an old man his fun." I smiled at him broadly.

Then I flipped open my cell phone, and called the ranch. I spoke to Clyde "What time are you planning to serve dinner? We are going to stop at the Corral for lunch.” I Knew that JC and Carl heard the call, so they both knew we were going out for Lunch.

Clyde replied, "That’s up to you, Charles, you name the time. It will be on the table."

I looked at JC asking, "Dinner at eight sound ok with you?"

"It sounds good to me." JC replied.

"Ok Clyde, we’ll have dinner at eight then." I snapped the cell phone closed.

"Ok, you two, we are going to the Corral for Lunch." I was Thinking that we needed to travel up to the top of Casper Mountain so that JC could see Casper from up there.

When we arrived at the restaurant, we all went inside, I asked the headwaiter for my special table, if it was free.

Randy said “Of course that table’s free.” He then took us back to a very nice, somewhat quiet spot, towards the rear. We were all seated then I asked JC, "Would you like to take a ride up Casper Mountain, after lunch for a while?" I wanted some time up there to be close to James again, after last night, I was concerned and confused. Had James really talked to me last night?

JC…"That sounds nice, sure. Why not? Maybe you can show me my grandparents’ old house." I thought, hell, that's what I am here to do is see the place.

Charles…

We all ordered a great lunch and the waitress was very cute. She must have been in her thirties. She lightly flirted with JC, no wonder, after all, he is gorgeous. Both Carl and I just joked with him about that, and he seemed to take it well, but kept saying she had no chance with him.

I said "Why not JC?"

JC…"She’s just not my type." I really didn't want to talk about me being gay here in this place.

Charles…"Oh, ok I hit a sore spot, I see," I laughed it off, hoping we didn't upset him.

Carl spoke "How often do you travel with your job?" Just trying to change the subject, thinking we may have hit a sore spot.

JC replied, "We work shifts, and a shift consists of two weeks with about nine one way flights. We start in any city, and work a series of flights, that can take us anywhere in the world, but the last flight of the shift will bring us back into the states. Then it’s up to us to get home... We, most of the time, fly in the jump seat of other commercial flights. Once in awhile, we have to purchase a one-way ticket home. That's a real bad trip, and they don't happen very often. Then we get approximately 2 weeks off. But I have been lucky and had a three-week break a few times. It just depends on the shift schedules. Gees, sorry didn't mean to give you a travel lesson."

Carl replied, "Nonsense, that's something I didn't know. Did you Charlie?"

Charlie... "No I had no idea that it was that complicated working as a flight attendant" No wonder he is alone...

We finished our superb lunch, leaving a generous tip, telling Randy, "the food was excellent, and so was the service, we will darken your doors again." I love telling them that, it makes them think, “what did he really mean.”

JC…I laughed softly and said, "You’re a pistol Charlie, that’s just crazy," God he has a good sense of humor.

Charles…We all piled into the car and Carl drove off toward the mountain. As we drove, I asked Carl to pull into James’ folk's old house, so JC could take a look. It wasn't that far up the road until Carl pulled into the drive of a very well kept home.

JC spoke, "Oh my, I think I remember this place. God, I was only two or three when I was here... No, it's has to be the photo's that I remember. I wish my grandparents were still around. I really never got to visit them much." I was Dreaming of what I missed not seeing them.

Carl then pulled out of the driveway and headed up Casper Mountain Road. It was only a few miles until we got to the parking area where, many years ago, we held a very private service for James. We scattered his ashes, and I marked a young tree, with his initials JRA to mark the spot. The last time I was here the tree was still standing in a small grove of trees about 100 yards or so from the road. As we approached the parking area, I looked over at JC and said, "If you don't want to come out with me, it's okay. I will understand." Not knowing if he would want to or not, and I didn't want to pressure him into doing something that he was not comfortable with.

JC…"No Charlie, I want to see this place, I want to feel Uncle James as much as you do. I don't think that's possible, or I should have felt him last night." Please God help me feel him, I need to ask him something....

Charles…So we got out of the car. Only, JC and I walked up the trail to the little grove of trees. Now, there were picnic tables scattered about, that weren't there when we left James’ ashes there, many years ago. I started looking for the tree, on which, I had carved his initials. Finding it, both JC and I looked at the tree, and what I knew had been carved there, so long ago. The bark had so overgrown them, that you could see where they once had been. With some imagination, you could see the J. and part of the R. and very little of the A. I was transfixed staring at them when JC spoke.

JC…

"Charlie, I feel him, I really do feel him, I have these chills like fingers running up and down my spine."I began to cry, but why? I really never knew him. The only thing I really knew was what Charlie had told me, and last night did he.... Or was he really there with us...

Charlie...

I looked at JC he was crying. That's all it took, and my tears burst, we were two men, crying uncontrollably so I went to him, opening my arms, we embraced, comforted each other and cried onto each other’s shoulders. We just held each other, hugging each other, and squeezing each other for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably 20 minutes.We were still hugging when JC spoke.

JC said, "Charlie please don't hate me, for what I am about to do, please."I knew he would just walk away, and never look back, but I had to take the chance, it was now or never.

Charles…

Before I could ask what the hell he was talking about, he Kissed me, kissed me with the most passionate kiss I have had in so many years. God! It was like James standing there, kissing me. My heart was racing, before I could gather my wits, his tongue was probing the depths of my mouth, and our tongues twisted together like snakes in a mating dance. We continued our embrace having to pull apart to breathe I tried to speak but his lips stopped me again. Another round of kisses and hugs and my knees were giving out, I pulled away saying, "My God JC, what are you doing?"

"Sorry Charlie, I have fallen in love with you, it was not planned, but I have fallen in love with you. If you hate me I will leave and never bother you again, but please don't hate me. Please!"

To be continued...