Of Pride and Power - 14. Chapter 14: “Play the Perfect Courtier”

When we reached the outskirts of London, I had Francis and the triplets separate from me to acquire taverns near the four main roads that connected with each of London’s main gates. The money that I acquired from the trove at Robsart estate was unavailable, but I still had the money I brought with me from Somerset and Bristol, which would be equivalent to $4 million in modern money, more than enough to make the purchases I sought. A tavern near a main road in London would provide news and rumors regarding the affairs in the royal court.

Medieval London had four principal gates facing three cardinal directions. In the north, there was Cripplegate, which was named after the old English term “crupel”, a sheltered path, initially then became cripple as English evolved. In the east, there was Aldgate, which was the “old gate” created during Roman times. In the west, there were two gates, Ludgate and Newgate. Ludgate was the principal gate used by commoners and nobles coming from or going to the western lands of England and Wales. Newgate was also an important gate for Western travelers, but it held infamy as the prison gate, where the enemies of the crown would be imprisoned or executed. The Tower of London may be famed for holding high-profile prisoners from influential nobles to actual princes, but the conditions at Newgate Prison, with constant sounds of torture and death, made it hell on earth according to various medieval and early modern accounts.

Before entering London, I changed my clothing to something simple and unpretentious rather than the codpiece ensemble that I wore the first time with Robert. I wanted to wear toned-down clothing with just copper and silver lining, representing a humble appearance befitting an earl or viscount from an economically depressed region of England. While I believed that I would be invited into Whitehall this time around rather than Hampton Court, it was better in the presence of the highest nobles and power brokers to appear weaker than I am.

As such, I only had Puck serve as my valet for this interview. He was small, cute, and inoffensive to most people at first glance. Most people will think he’s either a child of a knight or some baron’s lesser son if they speak to him since he is quite charming when he needs to be. Of course, the most important aspect was that Puck is a master of toxins and herbal remedies, and it would be handy to have a cure ready or a poison on standby, especially in a royal court. I’ve watched enough medieval fantasy shows and movies to know how dangerous these people could be.

At Newgate, we were supposed to wait according to the letter that Ambrose delivered. After announcing my arrival to the guards, we were greeted by a group. They were led by Lord Chamberlain, and William Paulet. If William Cecil was a true patriot and one of the greatest statesmen in English history, then William Paulet was only second to him during this era. If it were not for his desire for moderation in terms of England’s domestic affairs, various things may have been different for both good and bad. He was a minister across four monarchs of England, starting with Henry VIII. He switched religious affiliations more than four times over the period, meaning he was never a true believer in either Christian sect. He tried to moderate Mary I's purges of Protestants in English society, earning the ire of powerful Catholic advisors to Mary I, but he was able to maintain the financial stability of England so Mary gave him a free pass as long as he did not get involved and maintained his nominal loyalty to Catholicism. When Elizabeth came to power, he quickly switched sides again and became a moderate Anglican, who loyally served her. In essence, he was England's chief financial officer, who knew a lot about managing and organizing spending, taxation, and budgets.

There were also a few salacious comments attributed to him, including how Elizabeth I had doted on him like a lover. At 67 years old at this point, William Paulet was not my type, at first glance. Nothing against older men, but I was afraid of hurting him more than anything else if we did anything, despite the fact I knew he was historically going to live to the age of 89 years. Still with his flowing silver blond, gray hair and glasses with relatively few wrinkles or age spots, he was a silver fox in the veins of someone else I knew.

As the thought came to my mind, a familiar voice from behind William Paulet spoke up.

“Lord Eli, I am glad to see you have arrived in London safely,” Lord Ashley greeted me.

It’s been two years since I met with this well-meaning, though manipulative, old teacher, “I am grateful to be welcomed by His Majesty King Edward VI’s notable ministers and advisor.”

As we rode into London, flanked by guards, Lord Ashley whispered in my ear, “It was a good idea for you to dress so plainly and leave any forces from your western lands behind. Duke Northumberland put Princess Mary in the tower under the suspicion of treason. William Paulet and I are doing everything in our power to safely extricate Mary from the tower, but His Majesty is not in the mood to grant mercy. Tread very carefully, my lord.”

I nodded and replied with a bit of intelligence of my own, “His grace the Duke of Northumberland has exhausted nearly 2/3^rd of the royal army near Norwich to defeat the Rebel leader, Robert Kett. He was victorious and liberated Norwich, but the severe losses he suffered will make his position weaker.”

I gave credit for the liberation of Norwich to John Dudley because I did not want to appear too strong in front of Edward or the other advisors on the Privy Council. However, adding the real fact that John Dudley lost that many troops would embolden his rivals on the council to seek concessions, further destabilizing his position of power, and making it harder for him to gather new troops.

As for hearing Princess Mary was in the infamous Tower of London, I needed to confront her and assist her in regaining freedom. While we were enemies and I knew history would no longer play out the same way it did, I needed her to reign as well to draw a contrast with Edward, creating enough disdain for the diametric positions of a Protestant and Catholic-led nation to form my third path government.

As such I asked Lord Ashley, “Do you think I can visit my sister in the Tower after the interview with King Edward? She took good care of me for a time, and I would be remiss if I could not return such favors.”

He pondered my question, then whispered something to William Paulet, who began to ride beside us.

William Paulet spoke with a calm and relaxed voice that sounded decades younger than he appeared to be, “My Lord Eli if you could speak to the Princess, I have some ideas that may be helpful to mollify the King through Princess Mary’s connection with the Spanish crown and the Papal banking houses under Cosimo Medici.”

William Paulet’s idea was to sell the seized church properties to Spanish agents, who in exchange would have an agreement through the Medici banking house to buy them. Doing so would grant the Spanish Catholic leadership equivalent ranks to knights and barons, meaning they would have the protections of the English crown and lessen tensions. At the same time, these newly created pseudo-nobles would have to pay taxes for the lands that they occupied at a higher rate than normal. After the expense of putting down the rebellion and damage to the surrounding lands near Norwich, the kingdom needed money and stable revenue sources more than a headless princess.

It was a good plan in the short term, but over a long period, such a deal would cause England to become a client state of Spain, maybe even becoming a part of that nation. In history, dependency on foreign loans and foreign investment has led nations like Iceland and Sri Lanka to fates such as bankruptcy and insolvency. William Paulet is brilliant, but this kind of behavior only succeeded in the absence of foreign policy agendas.

I pointed out the flaws to William Paulet, “Lord Paulet, you are a sensible man without the limited imagination or blindness of zealotry that many of our countrymen have regarding deals with other nations. However, I must ask you, wouldn’t such a plan make us dependent on the Spanish throne for income? Your plan has merit if we had diversity in our domestic industry and could in return make similar investments in Spanish lands in their American territories, but due to our current issues with internal instability and half-finished reforms, we would be at the mercy of any foreign nation or entity such as the Catholic Church with enough money to buy our entire island.”

William Paulet was stunned at my analysis of the complex economic and balance of trade issues that I pointed out, “I am dreadfully sorry my Lord Eli, I had erred with my suggestion to you. If you had carried my offer to Princess Mary, King Philip would soon be enthroned in London. Still, I wish there was a way we could gain access to the rich Spanish treasures, such as their territories in the Americas filled with gold, sugar, and exotic goods.”

Having humbled my future finance minister, I wanted to add a little nugget of modern capitalist concept into his thinking and prevent the emergence of the mercantile system and colonialism, “Lord Paulet, your thoughts were not wrong as I said. However, unlike the Spanish or Portuguese who must conquer or enslave the native people of their lands to gain such resources, our kingdom should strive to improve ourselves and the industries that can produce far more wealth than raw gold or sugarcane fields. For instance, if we promote the use of the spinning wheel and eliminate the Sumptuary laws that prevent peasants with wealth such as merchants from wearing certain fabrics like dyed cotton, we could increase the textile industry ten-fold with demand from our domestic consumers and supplies of yarn from improving manufacturing technologies. Wouldn’t such an improvement solve our revenue issues far better than land sales and foreign gold?”

As we rode, I gave William Paulet some ideas about reducing England’s trade deficit, improving taxation and regulatory laws, and laid some ideas about establishing paper money under a mixed commodity and metal standard, creating a currency based on our nation’s productivity for market value. That concept was proposed after the financial crisis of 2008 but was still a theoretical economic model when I died. However, I knew that several nations did experiment with it and were able to make it work with IT-based industries to support their economies later in the 21^st century. I would just have to translate modern economic theory to the 16^th century and push for an industrial revolution that maximized the theoretical power of GDP-connected monetary valuation methodology.

William Paulet’s eyes beamed with joy at my ideas and pointed to Lord Ashley, “Lord Ashley, why have you never told me that Lord Eli has such a brilliant mind for money matters? I would dare say your reports of his interests being merely in the antiquities set my expectations well below reality. I merely expected an antiquarian, not a Florentine.”

We were near Whitehall, but I knew Lord Ashley had taken note of my skills as he offered praise quietly to me, “Lord Eli, you have many talents and skills that will serve the kingdom well. If your father were still alive, he would have bestowed you with affections befitting a prince. It is a shame that things were not different.”

For a man, who had seen so much in his time and being a courtier of the highest order, Lord Ashley does not strike me as someone who would offer naked praise, especially in front of the official royal residence of the sitting king with words that indicated I could be his rival. I can imagine those same words were said to Elizabeth I when she visited London over the years. She showed off her intelligence and wit, capabilities that outmatched her brother, but she was a girl. I may have a dick, but I also have a vagina and breasts. In a society so rooted in traditions and split between male and female roles, there was no place for an intersex person like me in royalty.

William Paulet rode ahead of us to Whitehall, and we waited outside the gates until we were requested to enter. As Lord Chamberlain, he had several important duties and arrangements to make, when highly ranked visitors were coming to court. Unlike my prior visit to Hampton Court and its medieval great hall, where I was announced with a soft voice herald, there was far more fanfare and fewer attendees. My earlier poor introduction was likely done to spite my low status, gender incongruity with titles, and lack of significant influence or power. However, with my control of southwestern England and Wales, plus some basic knowledge regarding my participation in the battle against Robert Kett’s forces, I was afforded some recognition.

Upon entering the audience chamber of King Edward VI, instead of a herald, William Paulet gave my introduction, “Hear you, hear you! All present, attend! His Grace, Elias Tudor, Duke of Somerset, Bristol, and Devonshire!"

Without John Dudley, Edward Seymore, or any powerful nobles around him, Edward seemed a lot less regal and powerful, instead he looked like a nervous teenage boy. When my name was announced with titles I had not been conferred before, I knew that he had likely conferred them on me, hoping to gain my trust and allegiance to his rulership. While technically lower ranked than a scion of the royal family should be with the address of Prince or Princess as a prefix, it did put me on equal rank to John Dudley and regional noble lords in England.

I accepted the promotion, bowed, and made the customary reply, “Dread Sovereign, I, Elias Tudor, your humble and devoted servant, do bow before your majesty, offering my profound reverence and allegiance. May God's grace shine upon you, my liege."

Edward instead of following normal protocol left his seat and came to me, "Rise, Elias Tudor, and be welcome in our presence. Your loyalty and kinship are cherished. Speak freely, for your words carry the weight of your princely station."

Edward surprised everyone by giving me the greetings of a Prince, including William Paulet and several other members of the Privy Council. He had taken a big risk to do that with so many people around him. I was confused at first as to his motive.

Historians have had many debates about Edward VI in the future, whether the reforms of the Protestant English church were done by him or his noble advisors like Seymore and Dudley. Was he a frail and sickly boy or a strong teenage boy, who died due to illness? Looking at the 13-year-old boy king in front of me, I could see he was just a scared kid. He came close to me and lifted his arm slightly, then put it down. He had wanted to hug me.

I broke the royal protocol as well and initiated the embrace, he sank deeply into it.

I told him, “You are safe my brother Edward, no one will harm you.”

Edward quietly asked me, “Please, Eli, I need to talk to you privately. I am afraid of Mary and Dudley’s allies in the court, and I have no counsel.”

I nodded and Edward made a signal to William Paulet, who spoke, “King Edward VI and the Duke wish to reconnect their familial bonds over a private meal, the business of the court is adjourned.”

Puck and I went to a private room, where a small feast of cheese, meats, cooked vegetables, soups, loaves of bread, and sauces were laid out on a table. Edward and I sat side by side, while the servant got food for us. It was highly elaborate and ritualistic based on medieval traditions.

I ordered Puck, “Grab two plates, one for me and one for yourself with equal portions of meat, cheese, vegetables, and bread. I do not want you standing there watching as Edward and I ate.”

Edward’s eye grew wide at my order to Puck, “Eli, is he a normal servant? Or, is he one of your favorites?”

I looked over at a plain-dressed teenage servant boy around my age, who was doing exactly what I had ordered Puck to do with me. I tried to recall what historians knew about Edward VI and his male servants, As the boy began slicing ham in geometric shapes and began organizing an elaborate plate that would make modern food stylists gush, I knew who he was.

I smiled at Edward, “I see that your carver Barnaby Fitzpatrick has similar rights. I do believe we share that in common in believing people deserve equal treatment despite their birth status.”

Edward blushed, “Barnaby is a dear friend, and he serves me quite well,” he stared at Puck who gave a playful wink back, “I was wondering if your servant is one of your favorites.”

One persistent debate in history was whether Edward VI could be bisexual or gay, based on the historical information that is known about how he preferred having male favorites in his bed chambers, such as Barnaby Fitzpatrick. There were also accounts of Robert Dudley being among his favorites in certain historical references, but I am not going to share my partner like that with my biological younger half-brother. However, now, the 14-year-old Puck might be seeing some unexpected action on this visit.

Edward is probably gay based on the body signals he gave to Barnaby and flirtatious glances at Puck. Additionally, if the historical information is added to the overall analysis, I think he might be predominantly a bottom in terms of sexual position. He faces a lot of issues, especially with succession problems and backlash from Protestant and Catholic factions in the royal court if it Is ever discovered. Homosexual liaisons were uncommon, but not unheard of in English royalty or nobility, but most kings took on the top position for penetration or oral sex, to maintain an air of masculine power within their homosexual relationship. In one of the most infamous examples, Edward II was a bottom partner in gay sex, ultimately being betrayed by his nobles and wife, then murdered with a hot iron rod penetrating his asshole. Nobles had very poor opinions of openly gay guys.

I patted my biological half-brother on the shoulder, showing him a bit of solidarity, understanding a bit of what he must have felt being trapped in the closet. There were a few people, guards, and other servants, in the room, but I knew he would not be comfortable speaking about sexuality and topics if there was an audience.

I spoke to the room, “My king, would you not like to converse about the matters of familial interests and fraternal bonds over dinner more privately with just us and our closest servants?”

He looked around the room, understanding my words, and hesitated, “Many of these guards and servants were assigned to me by Duke of Northumberland, Eli. They are here to protect me everywhere except my bed chamber. I am not sure if I can dismiss them without cause.”

“Surely, you are their ruler, and no duke can command your guards. If you give an order and they do not obey, then it would be tantamount to treason. The Duke of Northumberland has already shown by the mass execution of Robert Kett’s army the price of treason is immediate death,” I answered staring around the servants and guards, who began filing out of the room.

When the room was cleared, Edward stared at me in amazement, “You…You are scary Eli.”

“I am what I am, little brother. I understand your predicament and don’t want you to feel pressure to hide your words or interests in front of others. Let’s speak plainly and honestly, I know you share my interests in other males. Puck is not my lover; he is my faithful friend though and shares this passion. If he desires to accept an invitation in your bed chamber, I will not deny him the pleasure.”

Barnaby Fitzpatrick chimed in, “Duke Eli, will your friend be discreet with his majesty’s peculiarities? He is unlike other nobles with such desires.”

I was intrigued as to what he meant, but I did not question him. He was asking out of concern and love for Edward, which I could respect as Jack, and I used to check on each other during various sexual games to make sure that the other wasn’t too sore or worn out to keep going. Enjoying variable sexual play is pleasurable, but lovers must understand that questions can and should be raised before and during it. That’s a sign of someone who could be a partner.

Puck nodded, “His Majesty will find I am quite good at keeping secrets, I will even keep any secrets you wish to share with me from Eli as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone or pose issues for Eli.”

Edward stared at me, “Are you sure he’s not your lover? He seemed to be quite devoted to you.”

I couldn’t trust Edward with the full truth, but I could give him a minor fragment, “Puck and I have been through many things together. He trusts me to make the best choices after serving me in battle.”

Edward appraised Puck, “How old are you, Puck? Do you have experience in such a thing?”

“I am 14 years old, my king. I have had male lovers in the past beginning at age eleven, including taking on dominant roles,” Puck answered with a sigh of regretful understanding.

Barnaby nodded, “A year older than King Edward and two years younger than me. He will be a good match for us in the bed chamber.”

My eyebrows were raised at this exchange between Puck and the others. I knew Puck was sort-of involved with Ambrose, but they have had a few choice angry exchanges in recent weeks as Puck called out Ambrose for his cowardice to confront his father about his actions against Robert after seeing the horrors of the Robsart farm. Ambrose defensively claimed he could not “reveal” his affiliations or attractions without suffering like Robert. Ambrose argued that it was due to his restraint that I could come to rescue Robert and the others. As a result of this argument, the two of them kept to arms length after meeting each other again at Northampton. Their last encounter occurred when Ambrose brought Robert to Norwich for medical care, Puck abruptly left the room at the sight of Robert’s poor condition and Ambrose in dirty armor. He wouldn’t listen to Ambrose’s explanations or pleading for understanding the situation with his powerful father.

At the heart of the argument, it’s the classic debate about coming out or remaining closeted that many same sex couples have faced over the centuries. Of course, no one knew about this past prologue between Puck and Ambrose at this meal, except Puck and me. I would not shame my friend for wanting to vent his emotional and sexual frustrations with others, but I knew it was unhealthy for their relationship. Luckily for Puck, Ambrose was not the jealous type and Puck was selective with his lovers, mostly one-night stands or casual no strings attached events like this. At some point, Puck and Ambrose did make up, but the argument lingered for the next two years. That’s the kind of relationship some people have, even in the future I remembered. I don’t know if it’s healthy, but I have a mad scientist boyfriend so who am I to judge.

We had a very lively meal with a nice amount of wine further freeing our inhibitions. The lack of outside presence allowed us to freely discuss gossip about nobles and their sexual preferences, then it got into progressively more sensitive subjects. I learned a lot more English nobles were bisexual or gay than historical records would indicate. Edward told me about prostitution and orgies that he heard was rumored to be held at former Catholic convents with a shudder of derision. I told him about what I found in the Robsart family’s land and the various young noble boys, who were tortured for having sexual interests similar to our own, which shook him.

He stared at me, “I wish there was another faith, another God that we could lead people towards beyond these two false idol-worshipping groups. Either people are forced to demean themselves or they are forced to conform to what others want.”

Puck shook his head in agreement, “There can be, if you believe in the last will be the first. If you believe that all the downtrodden, all the impoverished, and all those undesired can rise to a position of equal standing through knowledge, then the world would be better. Eli is our…”

Despite my state of inebriation, those words quickly brought me back to sobriety. Before Puck could utter another word, I pinched his exposed skin to shut up. Puck realized what he had done, then he drank a cup of strong herbal tea that he had brewed earlier, which had detoxifying ingredients. He usually controlled his alcohol intake as he was a young teen and had lower intoxication thresholds than I did, but I guess the open discussions and gossip probably made him forget that he was in the presence of Edward VI and not one of the Coven.

Edward, fully inebriated from several vessels of alcohol and his younger age, laughed and cried, “Sounds like something Thomas More would have said, too bad he was put to death. A blessed utopia where people of all types and ideals can live harmoniously together without judgment or prejudice would be a marvelous dream. I want that for England, but I am not the king to achieve it. I can’t even order my servants or guards around due to the various nobles acting as my regents. If Eli were born with only a male’s body parts or a high-ranked noble family, Eli would have made a much better King or Queen in that regard. Sadly, Eli could inspire people like you to believe in those dreams, but Eli is neither male nor female, Eli can never be the ruler of England. I want a better world for people like us, a world where we are not despised or mocked for our interests, where we may love whoever, we want openly,” he kissed Barnaby’s lips, causing a blush in the older teenage boy, “I want to be free, Eli. I want all of us to be free from this tyranny.”

At that time, I had wished Edward could be king, could be the first openly gay English monarch in history, and break every tradition in the book. However, due to my knowledge about his health and potential death in under three years, there was no way for that to occur. Even if I were able to have Cordelia diagnose his tuberculosis and give him rounds of antibiotics, John Dudley and the other Protestant nobles would never let him live free and his sexuality would be a scapegoat for popular unrest like James I had to face later in my history. I don’t want to betray him; I don’t want such a nice impressionable gay kid to die from something I had the power to alter.

After a brief pause, Edward continued with a more subdued tone, “They said you would ask me to release Princess Mary from the Tower, to keep the Catholics from openly rebelling. You don’t need to ask me, Eli, because I have a letter prepared to be sent to the Tower of London for her release. I’ll send it out in a few days. Lord Ashley and William Paulet are always trying to compromise, trying to mitigate conflict, but we both know war is inevitable with the power of Spain and the Catholic Church’s forces. I am going to be dethroned and probably murdered with an iron rod up my ass, like my namesake. That’s the fate of sodomite rulers. Yet, I must release Mary, just to buy a few more months, maybe a few more years until they come for me.”

Edward was crying, seeking comfort in Barnaby Fitzpatrick’s arms. Puck stared at me for an answer with a more conscious and sober expression, I shook my head to allow him to comfort Edward. Then, he joined Barnaby in hugging Edward. Puck was told about the fate that would befall Edward, so he knew the King had very few happy years left for him. The three of them began a heavy make-out session of kissing and caressing, nothing overly sexual at first, but it was heading in that direction.

Seeing Edward needed quiet comfort and Puck had regained enough sense to not reveal our secrets, I left the dining hall for rooms that were assigned to me by William Paulet. Servants helped me wash and change my clothing, while my mind was trying to create alternative paths for Edward, from hiding him as my own Man in the Iron Mask like in Alexander Dumas’ novel about the King of France’s twin brother or trying to work with him to overthrow the aristocracy a century ahead like Oliver Cromwell did. He was amenable to my ideas, but there was no outcome in any of those scenarios where we wouldn’t be completely wiped out by English nobles or Catholic forces with modern weapons.

When my child asked me years later, why did I fail to help Edward? I answered them with Jean Paul-Satre's famous line, “Sometimes a person’s existence precedes essence.”