Teaching Horrible Lessons - 3. 3. Teaching Lessons in Desire

As we walked back into the Asylum, I played with the Avatar Box again and unlocked another side of the cube. I opened the second power, which I knew innately was the power to mold desire. Fear is the power to manipulate people to reach your goals, desire is the power to mold people to reach your dreams for them. I liked the way that the show Lucifer summarized the extremes with Tom Ellis playing both the misunderstood pansexual devil Lucifer with power over desire and his twin brother the conniving archangel Michael with power over fear. It's a pretty cool idea.

I knew Brian had desires for me and honestly, I had certain desires for the hunky baseball player, too. He's such a people pleaser, which is a good thing usually, but he has no sense of independent desire or self-motivated thought. He is sorry after he and his idiot friends go too far. I can't say I hate him like I do Allen or Kevin because I can tell he cares somewhat. I just hate his personality quirk. He has to be dependent on someone, a leader, or a friend and follow them around like a dog, or he has to be subservient. He's like an older version of the classic stereotypical younger brother. He has the same puppy eyes as Mark when he asks if he can make things up to me.

So, with the power to mold desire, I used it on Brian. I didn't want to make him a slave or a mindless drone, no, I wanted him to desire to be an individual and to think for himself. However, for him to learn that, I needed to learn why he was so dependent on other people's goodwill toward him. Instead of going to the Halloween party in the open room, I motioned for us to head back upstairs to the second floor. We went back to room 206, where signs of our earlier conflict could be seen with smears of Kevin's white face paint on the floor.

Mark jumped at the sight of a small isolated room, "Can I do a dirty cowgirl dance for you, Jules?"

Brian was shocked at Mark's uninhibited sexuality, "Dude, what the fuck?"

"He's just excited from the alcohol," I said, "and he wants to make me happy."

"I'll say," Brian replied, "You know, you can get in trouble for doing this sort of stuff. Not everyone is nice about gay people at school."

I stared into Brian's eyes, "Can you tell me about that fear? Is that why you aren't out to other people?"

"Yeah," Brian sighed and revealed his fears to me, "I mean, my dad...he's not as progressive. It's not just my dad either like I don't think my teammates or any other jocks are cool with it."

"You think they will turn on you if you tell them," I said, "They will call you names, like the f-word. They will stop talking to you."

Brian nodded his head, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Brian began to tell me about his childhood, "I wasn't always a baseball jock. Back when I was ten, I used to be overweight and kids would pick on me and call me names like Chubb-Zilla. They wouldn't invite me to parties or want me to play any games because they thought I was too fat. My parents hated my body and spent money to have me fixed. They sent me to a therapist afterward to make me hate being fat. I get very happy when people want to be around me and invite me to do stuff with them. I wanted to play baseball to hear people cheer me on. I wanted to be best friends with Allen because he made me feel like I was worth something. I wanted to be friends with Kevin because he made me feel useful."

I nodded my head, as I could see why he was like this, he had to please people, or else his self-worth would drop.

"So, when you say you were fixed, what did your parents do to you?"

"My dad had a weight loss pill made just for me. They had me on a strict diet of chicken and fish, and these pills. It wasn't an appetite suppressant, it was a fat-dissolving pill, but it was really dangerous, so it had to be under a controlled trial. My mom took me to a therapist, who hypnotized me into believing that I was worthless unless I could be appreciated for my body. I didn't know I had this problem until a year later when I started to get depressed, but by then, the therapy and weight loss pills had permanently changed my brain chemistry."

"What would happen, if you didn't have anyone telling you, you're special?"

"I don't know, probably nothing good, like I would get fat again since I am worthless without someone appreciating my body. My parents would disown me and I'd be alone forever."

That's utter bullshit, parents' body-shaming their kids into radical treatments. While gay conversion therapy may be the extreme of parental intervention, this sort of shit was even more common. Girls are usually the ones to be portrayed in books and movies as having body issues but boys often have to take diet pills, and performance-enhancing drugs, and attend therapy to satisfy their parents and friends' expectations, too. If you add the pressure of being gay to the mix, it made people like Brian basket-cases, who are seemingly nice guys sometimes, and utter assholes around others. It was the reason why most professional athletes were not out about their sexual preferences.

"Okay," I said, "You will be okay. I will help you be free of your fears. Now, tell me what it is you desire?"

"I desire a body like yours," Brian said, "You are sexy and lean, and you look like a dancer. You are graceful, kind, and smart. I wish I could be like you. I wish I had parents, who didn't care about me being good at sports. I wish I didn't need to satisfy what everyone else before me."

"That is what you are going to work towards," I said, "To have dreams and goals, not because someone else told you, you have to have it."

I used the power to mold desires, and Brian's mind began to clear, while he looked at me and the barely covered Mark, who was seductively tracing the outline of his crotch.

I ask Brian, "Tell me what do you want from us?"

"I want..." he trailed off, his eyes fixated on my body.

"Go ahead," I said, encouragingly.

"I want to have sex with both of you," he confessed, "I want to experience what it's like to be with a boy. I want to take both of you in my mouth and ass like I am a bitch in heat."

While sex would be nice with Brian, I wasn't in this to have a massive orgy with every guy at the party. Being depressed, I could guess Brian might want the easiest desire of sex first, but there was something even deeper to it. Looking at him, Brian was wearing a werewolf costume at first glance. However, upon further inspection, it looked more like a puppy costume that gave him cute little pink pointy puppy ears, glued-on facial hair that did not obscure his boyish features, and a light fur suit with a tail. A thought occurred to me about his costume. Could it be that the comfortable costume represented something to him?

"Are you sure that's what you want," I asked him, "It does not need to be what you want physically, but it can be what you are. Everyone wants you to be the alpha male, but deep down, you're just a little puppy dog, aren't you?"

"Y-Yes, I want to be a puppy," he said, "I want to wear cute outfits and play games. I want to run around the park with my owners, getting scratched and petted. I want to bark and hump my legs. I want to eat food out of bowls. I want to have a tail and ears and a leash."

He was getting very excited, and so was I for some reason. This sort of thing is the stuff of fringe gay porn, I knew there were people like Brian out there, but I never met someone like him in real life.

"Tell me what will you do to become a puppy, when you are a teenage human boy?" I asked him.

"I will go to the pet store and get a collar, leash, and a bowl. I will go to the sex shop and get some vibrating tail to put in my butt. Then, I will buy some puppy ears. I will go home and change into my new outfit. Then, I will present myself to my owner, begging for attention and praise."

Turning him into a puppy would be fun, but I didn't want to take away Brian's free will like everyone else in his life. His desires are rooted in the need to get appreciation and recognition from others. However, it's that sort of behavior that has made him join bullies to harass me in the first place. Brian was innately kind and gentle, which was used to create fear in him to tie his self-worth to his body. His desire right now is tied to being a servile boy for others to use due to that fear. What if there was a way to separate the two aspects of his fear and desire? What if I could take the fear of his self-worth and allow him the desire to appreciate others in service?

I considered how to extract his desires and fears when Allen appeared with Kevin.

"What the fuck is going on here," Allen yelled.

I looked at Allen wearing a Vampire costume. He wanted to be a badass leader but chose the lamest of all the monsters in myth and legends. Vampires might have been the height of sexual and social discourse in horror about a hundred years ago, but the sparkles have made them a joke. Between angst-filled teen dramas and novels of chaste vampire lovers from Evangelical Christians, vampires were the horror genre's equivalent to Justin Bieber, overexposed and acting cooler than they deserved to be. It fits Allen as a douchebag.

Then, there's Kevin dressing as a Zombie, having changed his makeup to a rich shade of crimson. The guy was tall and muscular from years of playing basketball, which made his zombie outfit more akin to Boris Karloff's Frankenstein monster than a Zombie. Essentially, it's the same thing to laymen, the undead creature brought back to life, but there's a major difference. Zombies are mindless creatures driven by a compulsion to hunt, eat human flesh, and breed through their compulsion. A zombie causes pain because it is how zombies live, the ultimate symbol of horror and sadism in my eye. In contrast based on his appearance, Frankenstein's monster was a thinking and conscious undead being, capable of human emotion and empathy, who only lashed out due to human prejudice and bigotry. He is forever searching for acceptance and constantly being rejected making him the ultimate masochist. Not sure what to make of Kevin, is he a sadist driven by compulsion or a masochist with a need for acceptance that drives him to make others suffer?

As I pondered these questions about identity, Kevin leered at Mark's Cowboy stripper outfit.

"Fucking sick dude, no one wants a piece of your chink ass Mark. Put some damn clothes on," Kevin decried

Mark didn't cover up, because I told him not to and he wasn't scared. He placed his pointer finger in his mouth and circled his nipple in response to the remark.

Kevin screamed, "Oh, I'm gonna beat your faggot ass for that."

"No," I said and blocked Kevin's approach to Mark, "Leave him alone."

Kevin turned toward me, "You know what I hate the most about you and your kind Jules? You're so weak, and yet, you demand to be treated like real men. You're fucking disgusting and it pisses me off."

"I'm not going to be intimidated by a bully, Kevin," I said.

Kevin looked over at Allen, then at Brian, "You saw what that fag over there did, don't you think we need to teach them a lesson?"

Allen nodded, but Brian hesitated.

"Hey," Allen yelled at Brian, "We've always stood up for each other, no matter what, remember? Or have you forgotten our pledge?"

Brian shook his head, "I-I didn't forget, it's just..."

I spoke to Brian, "Brian, this is your choice on what desire you want to live by. Do you want to be haunted by fear of losing other people's respect by being real? No, you desire to be appreciated for your ability, which will gain you an appreciation for its merit. You desire to break the cycle of seeking self-worth from people who don't care about you."

Brian turned and looked at Allen, then at Kevin, and finally back to me.

"I'm sorry," Brian said, "But, I'm not going to hurt anyone. I'm not going to let people push me around anymore. I'm done with it."

Kevin and Allen stared at him in shock.

"What did you say, Brian?" Allen asked, "This is the time when we have each other's backs. Are you like into that fag?"

"Maybe," Brian said looking at me, "But, if that makes me a fag, then so be it. I'm not going to be defined by my actions, because that's not who I am. I'm my own person."

Allen's face contorted in anger, "What the hell? We are supposed to be best friends, we made a pact together to protect each other. You're a traitor."

Before another word could be spoken, Kevin punched Brian in the face.

"Fuck you, you backstabbing asshole," Kevin said.

Brian fell back on the floor, holding his jaw.

I went over to Brian and helped him up, "Come on, let's get out of here."

Brian, Mark, and I ran down the hallway. While I knew Brian could probably handle Kevin or Allen in a one-on-one fight, I didn't want to push my luck.

However, we didn't make it very far, because the three of us were stopped by a strange figure.

"Jules," Mark cried, "I'm afraid, who is that guy?"

The figure was dressed in a dark cloak with a hood that covered its face.

"Are you enjoying the Avatar Box?" he spoke in the creepy tone that I remembered from before.

"Yo, like can you like help us hide from Kevin and Allen for a few minutes, so I can unlock another side of the cube?" I asked nicely, not wanting to piss off the entity that was helping me.

"You have one minute," he stated.

"Great, a whole 60 seconds, what will I do with all that time," I said sarcastically.

"I can take us down to the basement level, it's not that far from here," Brian offered, "I was here before the party to help set up the prank on you Jules in room 206."

"Lead the way, then," I said.

"Follow me," Brian said, and he guided us to a stairway that led down to the lowest floor.

As soon as we descended into the basement, I saw what can only be described as your stereotypical demonic ritual stage. Pentagram drawing on the ground, check. Black candles that smelled like ass, check. A mutilated naked teenage body in the center of the pentagram, check...

When my mind realized the dead body was Chris, things were probably not okay up in the party room either. Chris was the host of this party and he was sliced into five pieces for each side of the pentagram: two legs, two arms, and his head. His torso is at the center and his dick is rock hard and oozing...is that black cum. If I hadn't watched so many movies in the conjuring universe, I'd probably be frozen like Brian and Mark beside me. Despite the magic that I used on them, seeing something so scary in front of them would cause any normal person to pause.

I asked the entity, "Did you murder him?"

"Yes, his spirit was tainted, and his essence was needed to summon me to this form to complete the ritual. Once you unlock the Avatar box, all will be clear."

I nodded, "So, are you like a demon or what? Like, what are you?"

"I am not any of those, but rather a disciple of the ancient one within the Avatar box."

"Alright, so you're a hell priest, who has a dismemberment fetish," I chided the entity, feeling an odd boldness coursing through my body at the sight of this ritual sacrifice.

The entity didn't answer my question. It's hard to tell what the hell it is, but it does seem to be working towards something, not just some random evil.

I walked closer to the ritual stage and touched the edge of the pentagram with my foot.

"Do not step inside the circle," the entity warned, "or else you will become a sacrifice for the Ancient One."

I backed away

"Like hell priest, what if I stop trying to solve the puzzle or Allen and Kevin hurt me? Like, you know, shit happens sometimes."

"The Avatar box will guide you, but you only have 20 minutes each time you unlock one side of the cube and an hour if you unlock two sides. If you do not unlock any side, you risk exquisite pain," he stated.

I was a little concerned with how I got this Avatar Box in the first place. It was a gift to me from this entity. I didn't ask for it. It gave me power and access to supernatural abilities, which could be great for scaring people and getting revenge. However, this whole situation seemed too good to be true, especially when you think about how it came into my possession. I was too drunk and high from adrenaline to realize what I had done to unlock the first side of the cube. However, something inside me said I had nothing to fear from the entity in the box because it was...less than me. I don't understand what that meant.

"Alright, whatever, just don't kill me or my friends," I said, "Let's get started with this puzzle."

The entity disappeared, and I pulled out the box again.

Mark was shaking, but not from the cold. Kevin was by his side, offering him a helpful hug. They extended their hands for me to join them.

I told them, "Give me a minute, I just need to unlock two sides, in case Allen or Kevin comes down here."

I unlocked two sides of the Avatar Box at once. The first granted me the power of pleasure and the second gave me the power of pain. I was now in control of Fear, Desire, Pleasure, and Pain. As I turned to Mark and Brian, Allen had arrived in the basement.

"What the fuck did you do to Chris?" Allen shouted at us with a crowbar in his hand.

I knew he would need to be taught a lesson soon.