The Symmetry of Life- Book 1: To See, To Know, To Be Human - 11. Chapter 11: Flight of Fantasy

Chapter 11: Flight of Fantasy

When I got home, Brian looked like he had seen several horror movies as he gave me a hug. I had never understood Brian well, nor do I think I could ever understand any human avatar of the “First”, but I finally saw one of the things that he was fighting and understood why we needed to fight it. The danger to mankind is not merely in the outside foes, who wish to usurp us, but there are enemies within, who threaten to corrupt our core being. Brian, allowing me to learn about my internal hatred and self-loathing through my experience with Bobby, changed my outlook and saved two people from their own torment. If God were merciful, perhaps they will finally receive the peace that they sought in life, but could never find.

I also have additional responsibilities with a load of kids behind me. I tried explaining to them what was happening and started telling them about all the things I knew. Bobby was coming in and out of consciousness. I asked Maggie about bringing him to a hospital, but she said it would raise too much attention and only one person can save him. I didn’t know what that meant, but I took it as a good sign that Bobby would be fine.

After Brian’s hug, he blinked at the other kids coming in, his expression changed to amusement, “You were busy.”

I laughed, “Yeah, Bobby and me are daddies now.”

Brian looked over the new kids, “You know we can’t keep them, but I can try to arrange for them to be placed in good homes.”

I remembered what Eric told me, “I don’t know if you can trust…”

Brian finished my sentence, “…all the twelve. Don’t worry, beyond them, I have other friends, too. There have been thousands of years and hundreds of secret groups that were set up in my name; they might be the most powerful, but some tasks don’t need to concern them. I knew about the traitor before Eric told you. I’m not omniscient like God, but I still possess a window into every mind and thought. I know, who the traitor is, but I can’t act against him without help. If I revealed the traitor, the Twelve will turn against themselves. Some of them have begun plotting war and destruction to make the knowledge I help them acquire more valuable for leaders in Washington. Their desire for power is what tempted one of them to betray me. I also know there were infiltrators from the Drake in Washington at its highest levels.”

I had been holding back this question for years, but this seemed to be the right time, “Brian, why haven’t you gone there to help out President Eisenhower? He seemed to like and trust you, from the last time we met and he has been asking for your help for years, but all you give him are phone calls.”

Brian nodded, “I didn’t want to get him in trouble, do you know who Senator McCarthy is?”

I nodded my head, “Yes, he’s the guy in the news reels and radio saying there’s a giant communist conspiracy against the US.”

Brian sighed, “Paranoia mostly, I have to take blame for that as I warned Senator Hickenlooper earlier about the threat and he helped to convert that fear over to Senator McCarthy. The most dangerous thing about the Drake are not merely their illusion technology, but the paranoia that it inspires in people trying to hunt them. If I had gone to President Eisenhower’s aid in Washington, Senator McCarthy would have challenged to get me to speak in front of his Committee. President Eisenhower might be able to maintain executive privilege against Senator McCarthy for his staff, but I am a civilian. If I did advise the President, then either two things would have happened at the height of Senator McCarthy’s power, my revelations will cause mass panic and pandemonium, or I will be assassinated by a disguised Drake, who has the proper equipment to kill me.”

On top of his own personal rules, there was a reason behind non-interference, “Can I bring Bobby with me?”

Brian nodded, “I got seven plane tickets to New York, I had already anticipated all of them coming. We’re moving to the east coast in three days.”

My jaws dropped, “You knew that we would pick them up, I can understand that, but why do they have to leave, too?”

Brian explained with a soft tone, “Eric died in that cellar with Melissa. Bobby’s blood is all over the place and the kids are missing, don’t you think it’s suspicious?”

I nodded and realized what it meant, “So, are we going to sell the house? Change our schools? Basically drop everything in our lives.”

Brian nodded sympathetically, “Yes, Josh, remember I told you everything has a cost and consequences were inevitable if you had to confront Eric. We will keep the house, but I don’t believe I will see this place again in my lifetime…” Brian seemed distant at that moment as if he was mourning again, “But, it was the best outcome that we could expect.”

Maggie interjected our conversation, “Brian, get your cute ass over here and do your mojo on Bobby, unless you want Josh to find another lover in the next week?”

I didn’t know what Maggie was talking about until I saw Brian’s glow, I have seen him use his abilities actively only once before, but this was different. I felt a great comforting feeling in this glow; the same type of comfort that only death can bring. There was also something familiar about the glow, which dawned on me as I screamed in horror at what Brian was doing.

I cried out, “Brian, don’t give up your life, there must be another way.”

In a flash, Bobby was fully healed, though still unconscious, and Brian was sweating and hyperventilating, “I…gave Bobby several decades of my life. He was severely injured beyond rescue of current medical knowledge without severe disability, but unlike Gary, he was not at the point of death. I didn’t need to give him all of me to save him.”

I was shocked that Brian was willing to do that, “Why did you do that for Bobby? And what does this mean for you?”

Brian replied with weakening strength, “I had a responsibility to him, too. I am his old man after all as you guys were joking. I couldn’t let him die if I could do something. There are many things I cannot or will not do, but saving as many beings as I can is not one of them. Besides, my life force lifts the seal that separate what he was and what he is, so I can help both of you become what you will be. As for me, I still have a few years before the balance of my life is drawn completely down.”

Sarah stepped forward looking at Brian, “Are you…God?”

Brian chuckled softly, “Sorry, Sarah, I get confused for him a lot. I represent dreams and death, he represents actions and life. Even if he were here, there is no escaping the balance of life and death. We are similar in that way.”

I shook my head, “Brian, you’re so powerful, you shouldn’t need to die. Why can’t you live?”

Brian was wearing out, but he made one last effort to explain this exchange to us, “I am not, what I am not. Death cannot exist without life, or life without death. We set up the rules, so neither of us can violate them. Since I am in the human life cycle, I have only a human beings capacity for life, no more. Do not feel bad for me Josh. I have done the right thing for you and Bobby. I…”

Brian stopped and fell unconscious, but Maggie had been by his side, “Josh he told me that this would happen, I fought against him doing this, but he said it was the only way to save as many as possible. I know a lot about sacrifices and I think if you want to honor your brother’s sacrifice, take good care of your boy.”

Brian didn’t need to do this for me, but everything finally came into focus. Brian said he would have to make a sacrifice, if I confronted Eric. I thought he was just talking about his secret, but he was talking about what he had to do to save Bobby. His warnings about how to deal with Eric, his counsel against using violence, and his insights were all brushed off by me. I was being a prideful fool.

Bobby started waking up a few minutes later as Maggie was moving Brian towards the couch and the other kids were trying to figure out what they had seen. When Bobby opened his eyes, I saw tears drop from his face as he looked up at me. He knew what Brian had done for him and what I had said before in the cellar. I chose him over vengeance and I knew he chose me over it, too.

Brian eventually did wake up about a day later, complaining of hunger and thirst. Sarah was drawn towards him for some reason, ever since she saw his glow. When he complained of thirst she grabbed pitchers of water, lemonade, and cola for him. When he complained of hunger, she would dive into the cooler, grabbing every morsel of food out. I wondered if mom was like that with dad. Sarah seemed to be the oddball of our group, outside of Brian and Maggie didn’t count. I could tell Greg and Patrick were paired up, even at their young age. Sarah might have been intended for Bobby, if he weren’t involved with me. She seemed like an after-thought, a failed experiment in replicating what Eric and Melissa had developed. From Bobby, I learned she was rather strong willed and fought back every step, not surrendering her will to Eric or Melissa’s attempts to break her.

Brian understood her feelings, but he tried to restrain her from doing those things. Maybe, Brian wanted to avoid what happened with mom from repeating. Too bad, unrequited love cannot be held back that easily. She kept helping him out and he kept pushing her away, telling her about his feelings for his other half, and his sexual attractions. None of that deterred Sarah, who was compelled to follow him like a love sick puppy.

It took only one day before we were ready to head east after Brian awoke. Brian had timed everything very well, even his own fainting spell. The police were perplexed by the large amount of blood splatter in the room, the apparent murder of Melissa Latimer, and Eric Latimer’s suicide. They also looked for the kids under his care, but did not find any trace of them. Before the 1970’s, the search for missing children or even child abuse investigations were much less stringent. Lapses happened and the children were left as part of the cold case files that were either destroyed due to bureaucracy or shelved so far that any trace of evidence would disappear in the decades that it would take to find them again. There was merit for the crusade on protecting children, but I fear it came too late for many that had fallen victim to demons, both supernatural and human in origin.

The day came as Maggie drove us in the black convertible to a private airstrip a few miles out of Sacramento. We packed very light; we just had a few backpacks full of clothes and books. The younger kids had nothing really, except the stuff that we just bought them in the last few days. Maggie didn’t pack much except a few snacks and some board games for the kids. There was a Douglas dual-prop plane waiting for us to board. Maggie made the final arrangement as she left the keys to the black convertible to a man waiting on the side to deliver the car to our new home. After that, Maggie boarded the plane with us in tow. For many of the kids, this was their first plane trip. Brian and I have had several in the last few years, usually short flights to the Nevada facility to meet with Gary and others.

Several hours passed on the plane and the younger kids were restless, Brian had board games, but they had become boring within an hour of play. There were no in-flight movies or music stations on these flights. Bobby and I had our own task as I began reading The Fellowship of the Rings and Bobby read The Two Towers. I have never heard of the fantasy genre before I started reading these books and at first, I found The Fellowship of the Ring to be quite tedious to read. I think most people, who are Tolkien fans understand that his style of detailed writing and genealogy can be quite irritating as you read about the son or daughter of this lord or lady. However, once you get into the imagery and actually use your imagination, a whole new world opens up in your mind. I could see myself journeying to the lands of elves, walking cautiously through the misty mountains, and even enjoying the foolish talk of hobbits at the Green Dragon. I wish I could provide you with such grand imagery of my own life, but I am not so detail oriented. I remember words, concepts, events, and people, but lack the skill of description for which this writer, I fear, also shares.

As I began reading the appendices and jotting down the elfin words as they were called in the book. I found out later that the American publisher misprinted the word “elfin” in the place of Tolkien’s “Elvin”. While they may have made mistakes with the English language, the Elvin script remained accurate. With words that I did not know, I asked for Bobby’s assistance and we poured through the other book appendices to find the Elvin words. I wrote down the translation as I saw it:

Three ancient kingdoms to hold the powers

Three hidden secrets for rebirth

Power of sanctuary in one hand

Power of death on forbidden land

Power of creation at the last stand

Two for mortals to use

One to leave for me

It sounded like poetry and I glanced at Brian, who made no reaction. He was quite content with the royal treatment the others were giving him as he was telling them a story about the Agents of Death. He revealed things like why people believed in grim reapers. Turns out the concept was started up in the 15^th century, when wealthy Europeans began yearning for life as they had developed a taste for exotic pleasures like silk, spices, and foods. The agents of death were feared immensely not as beings that helped guide them to heaven, the title belonged to human-like Angels according to their beliefs at that point, but beings carrying them away from their earthly pleasures. The skeleton thing was started around this time, by Bobby among others, as a practical joke on the overzealous Catholic Europeans, which stuck with them.

You would think being that close to the essence of death would scare kids away, but Sarah, Greg, and even shy little Patrick were enthralled by Brian’s tales. If Freud was still alive in 1955, he’d have written a hundred volumes of studies on Brian’s interactions as part of his psychoanalysis on the termination complex.

Bobby and I went over to Brian; I asked him, “What does this mean?”

Brian stopped telling stories and turned to face me, “You know what it means.”

It took almost eight years to find the words. I had to know now, “I mean what do those words mean for me and everyone?”

Brian moved his head slightly, “Death, Life, or Salvation, there are three secrets; there are three keys. The first clue to the first key will be shown to you, soon.”

At that moment, a bright light flashed outside the window. We rushed to the windows to see what was making those lights; we saw a silver disk spinning on its axis projecting a beam of light at our plane. The plane was held in place by this beam of light.

The pilot came out of the cockpit, “What the hell is that?”

Brian, sensing the tension in the cabin, announced “That’s our connection flight captain. Don’t worry; you will not remember much about what happens right now. Your plane will simply explode without passengers as the assassins had planned. You will be safely transported to the ground. Good bye!”

Another flash occurred and we found ourselves inside a brightly lit room, Greg boisterously asked, “Where are the little green men?”

Brian laughed, “They’re not green; they’re grey. Also, this is a Kal ship, not a Gar’ta one.”

I had met the Kal before, but after reading those books I thought of the connection, they resembled the Elves in Tolkien’s story. Tall, elegant, peaceful, long blond haired, and far more advanced compared to the humans. They were going to give me the first clue.

Three of the Kal arrived, their leader Ka’zel among them greeted us “We welcome both the exalted “First” and the Protector of our legacies to this vessel. May we offer you some nectar to sooth your distress.”

Before anyone can answer, Brian quickly said, “Ka’zel, Neither I, Josh, nor Bobby can partake in your nectar for we are on an urgent mission as you know. The children over there may need your aid and the nectar should help them sooth their wounded hearts, if taken in moderation. My aide Maggie will accompany them and she may partake in nectar if she wishes.”

Nectar was once called ambrosia by the Greeks or the food of the gods, which the Kal had shared with the Drake along with other beings. In scientific principle, nectar is a chemical compound that enhances the flow of endorphins into the brain like a narcotic, but without the addictive properties at least physically. A small dose of it can help relieve stress, while larger doses could care depression based illnesses. However, too high or excessive consumption without a Kal mental guide could lead to a psychological addictive need for human drugs that offer similar effects. The Kal earlier experiences with humans made them realize that their source of bliss could be turned into a source of pain, if used improperly. They reduced the amount of nectar that they offered to human now and also made sure a Kal accompanies all human users.

This was Bobby’s first time meeting a Kal, at least as a human being, he whispered to me, “They look almost normal just like you said, I think that one over there is eyeballing me.”

I glanced over to the Kal that Bobby pointed out, but before I could whisper a reply, the Kal replied, “I find both of you appealing, if you wish we could explore each other’s pleasure centers later.”

Bobby blinked at that comment, but Brian warned me years earlier about the Kal’s enormous libido, “We are committed to one another, I am sorry.”

The Kal frowned, “All the appealing ones are committed. If you reconsider, my bed chamber is two levels down. I will keep the suspension beams warm and the harness ready.”

After hearing about the suspension beams and the harness, Bobby’s face quickly turned pale. The memories of what Eric Latimer had done to him were not forgotten; although, he was recovering very well according to Brian due to my presence.

Ka’zel understandingly offered, “Does the “First” or his companions wish to spend the solar day in meditation before the summit?”

Brian nodded, “Yes, it will be good to meditate.”

With that, we were split up. Maggie went with the younger kids for nectar and the Kal version of a psychiatry session. We were transported to a completely dark and barren room with absolutely no light. At least, I thought it was a room, but it felt big like it could extend into infinity.

I yelled, “Bobby, Brian, Are you guys here?”

As I took a step, I heard a yelp from Bobby, “Hey Josh, you just stepped on my foot.”

I used my hands to feel for Bobby and he did the same on me, “Sorry, this place is so dark, I can’t make out anything. Brian, can we turn the lights on?”

Brian’s voice echoed towards us, “Darkness is not our enemy. It is where we all began. This place is where you can meditate on the infinite possibilities in existence.”

A brief flash of intense light occurred and Bobby had disappeared from my touch, “Bobby, where are you?”

Bobby echoed back faintly like he was far away, “I’m here.”

I figured Brian brought us here for a reason, “Why are we here?”

Brian replied, “To learn about darkness, not the darkness created by experience, but true darkness that has existed for eons. Josh, Bobby, you both need to learn to find each other despite the darkness. Search your souls; search your love.”

I thought back to the dark cellar and my words to Bobby as I moved, the image of him was crystal clear in my mind. It took several minutes, but we eventually found each other again. Then another flash occurred and we lost touch.

I screamed at Brian, “Come on Brian, this is really cruel. Why are we forced to search for one another across the darkness? Why can’t we stay together in the light?”

Brian affirmed, “Love is transient in life, but what you may discover today will extend well beyond death. The universe is infinite. I can’t guarantee that you two will be together forever. In life as well as death, you may separate, but I can offer you both a consolation to carry on that love even beyond this life time. All you must do is hold on to one another, despite the darkness. The Kal use this place to discover knowledge in the darkness, but I desire to use it to help you find each other. If you can manage that, then you will be one of the few true soul mates in the universe. Not only that, you will do something that I have been waiting for eons, an Agent of Death may finally be able to establish lasting relations with the mortal world.”

Bobby and I tried endlessly for hours to find one another, but every time we found each other, we lost each other again. Sometimes we find each other in seconds and hold onto to each other for close to an hour, but we always lose each other. Despite these setbacks, we kept trying. Brian was right about this place; in the darkness, new words began to appear in my head as I saw two new lines form.