The Symmetry of Life- Book 1: To See, To Know, To Be Human - 2. Chapter 2: Seeing Is Believing

Chapter 2: Seeing Is Believing

Motor Courts in the late 1940’s were what the movie Psycho later immortalized them to be. They were small out of the way spaces for people making long journeys across America by car, instead of the old fashioned method of travelling by train. It would not be until the 1950’s and the later expansion of the freeway system that motels really grew exponentially to become what they are today. There was no continental breakfast or even television sets in the rooms.

When I woke up, Brian had his elbow in my face, which I tenderly moved aside. He looked really peaceful with his thumb in his mouth. It would usually take a dozen A-bombs to wake him up, but he began twisting and turning after I shifted his elbow. He eventually turned to face me.

“Josh, can we play hide and see?”

“Yes! Let’s play hide and see”

“Okay, you will hide and I will see.”

“But, you got to count up to 100 Mississippi without peeking, since you’re so good with seeing.”

“Okay, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi ….” Brian counted down in sequence and I got out of bed and tried to hide. I first went to the closet, it’s pretty obvious place to hide as most of you guys probably can guess. However, it is a bit too obvious for my little brother. Then, it dawned on me that Uncle Frankie told us he would leave his room unlocked, so we could get in, when we woke up. Brian would never guess that I was going to another room.

As I went into Uncle Frankie’s room to hide, I saw he was not in his bed, but the sound of water was splashing in the bathroom. It seemed perfect to me at that point, Uncle Frankie couldn’t tell Brian where I was, nor could Brian guess it. I will finally be able to outwit both of them. I snuck under the bed, which seemed a bit dusty. As I heard the water being turned off, I knew Uncle Frankie will be out at any moment. I peeked out to see to my amazement that he was not wearing any clothes. I had taken baths with Brian before, but I have never seen a naked adult until that point. I first noticed something weird on his upper arms like a stamp or a mark. Then, my sights fell on a trail of hair. He had a trail of hair going down his body from his chest that led me to my biggest amazement. His dick was really big, at least to an 8 year old. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. Uncle Frankie did not notice me as he grabbed his wrist watch to check the time.

He muttered, “Probably have only a few minutes before the kids wake up, got to make the most of it. Wish you were here Allen, this would have been so much easier”. As he said that, he went over the door to lock it with one of the old padlocks. After he had finished locking the door, he closed the shades and dimmed the room of illumination. As a kid, I was both scared and excited at what he was preparing to do. With all his preparations done, he just closed his eyes and froze. Nothing seemed to happen. Then I noticed that Uncle Frankie had grabbed his dick and was rubbing it. I began hearing groans and moans from Uncle Frankie, but I dared not step out to question him. The speed of the rubbing and the interval of the moans seemed to be growing faster and faster. Then, a burst came out of his dick and another burst came after that. Uncle Frankie was smiling and seemed to enjoy whatever it was, until a knock on the door. Uncle Frankie quickly gathered a towel from the floor, where he threw it earlier. Then he wiped himself and several different places around the room. He found his underwear and a shirt that he quickly wore.

He unlocked the door and opened it to find Brian smiling brightly:

Uncle Frankie looked a Brian’s grin with a bit of shock, “Brian, I…umm…was”

Brian smiled, “I am looking for Josh, I think he came in here to hide. We’re playing hide and see.”

Uncle Frankie nervously looked around the room and did not see any trace of me, “No Brian, Josh is not in here. Have you looked around your room?”

Brian went over to the bed, “No, I know he’s here”. Brian peeked under the bed at my frightened face and I knew that my little brother had set me up, “Hide and see” indeed. I came out from under the bed to Uncle Frankie’s shock. I think at that point Uncle Frankie also knew what Brian did, too.

Brian just laughed, “I found you.”

Uncle Frankie frowned, “Why did you let him…”

Brian looked confused, “I thought we’re playing hide and see, I see Josh”

Uncle Frankie looked at Brian and realized something, “You wouldn’t know; why you did it? If he won’t let me know, then he wouldn’t let you. Knowledge is a powerful weapon for protection, even if he doesn’t know it now”, then he looked at me, “Josh, what you saw and what you heard, you’re probably too young to understand, but when the time comes, you must keep it hidden. This might sound far out, but you don’t want what happened to me to happen to you or Brian.”

He showed me the marks on his arms again, “These are from the asylum that I was placed in after I was discovered. I was beaten, tortured, and forced to say many things that I never wanted to. Eventually without any other choice or remedy, I screamed in my mind for help and a voice angrily spoke that “I shall deliver you from harm my love”. Then, Allen found and freed me, but he could never remove the pain from those years in that place. I guess he does not want the same for either of you.”

All those events made sense to me years later, but all I knew at that point was that I would have to hide I know most of you probably have never heard about all this history concerning gay and lesbian people, nor would you. You might have heard the old generic line that homosexuality or expressions of homosexuality was considered a psychological illness before the APA eliminated the designation in the 1973, adults and even teenage kids were sent off to asylums. They were society’s outcast, being “cured” by force. What you don’t know is the type of techniques that they used to “cure” them. If you think water torture is extreme, then you have never heard about electro-shock or being starved in order to break your will and accept a line of words as the absolute truth “Boys only like girls, you like girls” were common phrases that were repeated countless times. The world was not debating gay marriage or even gay adoption; it was a time where only one truth held absolute certainty, “you are what you are” and nothing else.

After those words, Uncle Frankie helped us pack our things back in the car and we left the motor court. The drive through Arizona was hot and unpleasant, but I had other thoughts on my mind about what I saw earlier and how Brian was connected to all this stuff. An 8 year old has an active imagination and I used mine to explore the possible meanings behind everything as far as I knew. Maybe, Uncle Frankie and my dad were superheroes like Captain America and he was captured by evil fiends like the Communists after they discovered his secret identity. I remained completely silent, daydreaming about the adventures that my dad and Uncle Frankie had fighting reds and Nazis. I don’t know when we crossed over to New Mexico as our entire drive was silent and introspective for everyone in the car.

Brian freaked out suddenly awakening all of us from our slumber, “We have to turn over there, Uncle Frankie. They had an accident.”

“But that way takes us to Moriarty in Torrance County, not Los Alamos, where we agreed to meet them. Are you sure Brian?”

“Yes, but it’s not Moriarty that we need to go to, but a place called Roswell”