Granny's Got a Plan - Story Statistics

Ahh Granny's got a plan for her little Alley Cat.

Alvin must navigate the diabolical machinations of a woman hell bent on getting him out of his rut.
The trouble is, it involves a certain gardener named Tabby, while dodging the attention of the Higgins Clan and navigating the web of twisted games that spans the entire town.

Will he survive with his bachelordom intact, or is he doomed to a happily ever after fate half baked into a Hallmark nightmare?