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strained musings of an open mind

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Indictments all around

"You fall in love too easily, and hold on to it for too long..." This is the bold indictment i heard yesterday while watching a guy have people fill out some sort of questionnaire for a cheap little Edison key-chain light. I can't say that I find fault with her logic. In some ways she is insanely accurate, then again I only gave her the info I wished her to have. I bring this up because there is this guy im... intruiged with. he seems fun and what not and he is definitely a sexy f**ker. I'd real

shadowgod

shadowgod

The Construction Factor

The broke ass state of California has been working on the Freeway next to my job for the last two months give or take. (Damn time flies when one is having innumerable amounts of fun). Freeway construction in, and of, itself isn't really that intriguing. The guys who are doing the job however, are. Well one guy in particular. He's tall, tan from ethnicity, as well as all the time spent in the sun. Has a killer smile that he gives freely to anyone who says hello or gives a friendly nod. Plus he ju

shadowgod

shadowgod

Another One Bites the Dust

I've come to the conclusion that I pretty much suck at summing events up. Good thing I have no aspirations to be a Journalist at any point. I better keep this in mind so I do not become a biographer as well. I was supposed to be camping over the weekend, and for the most part I was. For the most part. We left early friday morning. and set out for my uncles house. Got there at 5:00 am the agreed meeting time. The house was dark. Usually there are two other trucks there and and people are shuffl

shadowgod

shadowgod

Assorted grumbles

I have been irritable lately and I don't know why.   That is a lie, I know exactly why, but there is little to be done in the situation. All I can do is face the facts, no matter how distasteful they are, and move on I guess. Shame really, but it does reinforce certain long standing truths. When people are pressuring you to do something, something that you know in your gut is going to backfire in exactly the way you don't want it. Just don't do it, listen to your gut beyond anyone else. After

shadowgod

shadowgod

Stop trying to communicate while being quiet

Its late and I should be in bed... not really. What I should be doing is sitting at work while a group of people count every item in the store. This plan however is simply FAIL. Turns out the scanners they brought have an older version of the software on them. I went through this fiasco about 4 and a half months ago. Had to call the company and get the software updated. Turns out I have to do this again. You would think they would have run through this issue by now. Nope certainly not, if it can

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Day 11,322.8

Saturday night I was at my uncles house, they surprised me with a strawberry cake. It was cool there were candles, three of them anymore and the fire marshal would have been called, and people singing happy birthday. I had a few beers and tried to relax in the spa as my cousin spouted on about the end of the world in 2012. Not my belief, but hey who am I to deny him is above just saying to him people have been saying it is the end of the world since the world began.   Disney is doing this prom

shadowgod

shadowgod

Why I Hate Zealots

Zealots are a group of people who, intrinsically, just can not leave well enough alone. Whether they be Christians, Muslims, or Atheists. Gay or Straight

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shadowgod

Crazy on Paper

I took a creative writing class--well workshop--last semester, did you know these things, blogs, are supposed to be carefully planned out? If that is the case, blogage = FAIL, EPIC FAIL even. I dunno I guess this would be a more entertaining blog if everything was thought out and well rendered into some pseudo-journalistic spin-off.   I dunno, to me a blog should be more personal, It should be clearly partisan, and one should never turn to a blog for precise facts. That is just a fools erran

shadowgod

shadowgod

In Dreams...

I had an odd dream last night. Well, not so much odd, for me, as unexpected.   For some reason whenever I dream about a home, it's always my aunts house. The one I moved out of some 5 years ago now. It does not matter if the home is supposed to be my home, or someone elses home it's always that particular house.   Anyhow I dreamt1 of it again last night. In this incarnation, it was not my home, nor was it my aunts home;it was the home of a guy I was interested in. He seemed happy, content e

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shadowgod

Walking on Cinder & Ash

It has been quiet in here.   I suppose that is majorly my fault. I could say nothing has been happening, but that is a lie. A lot of things have happened in the 8 weeks since I have written anything round here... The spring semester came to a close, I only managed a 3.15 GPA for the entire semester, so I dunno what to think about it, good on one hand but meh I could do better. I should do better. Doing so wouldn't take much more effort on my part.   Im a year away from transfering to the Uni

shadowgod

shadowgod

Pink Mafia

So here is an interesting exchange that happened between one of my co-workers and I this afternoon. He was a little apprehensive, apparently he had made plans with another coworker--We'll Call him Coworker #2--to go to the gym and workout. It didnt work out too well and he ended up standing up COwroker #2, so he was scared that #2 was going to be all made and cause some friction in the work place.   Well coworker #1 had some issues with his phone and by the time he got them resolved there wer

shadowgod

shadowgod

All or nothing...

I don't understand it. I guess it isn't something that can be understood, because in order to understand, an uncomfortable conversation would have to take place. Questions would have to be asked... questions that in all likelihood have no answers.   So, in turn, we accept silence. Silence is easier...   Well, silence sucks; the void created is only filled with self doubt.   I thought I was over this years ago. I thought the whole angsty part of my life was far removed from the routine of

shadowgod

shadowgod

The road to hell...

We have all heard the passage. Can recite it blindly, but for those of you who may have been hiding under a rock. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.   I only ever had good intentions. I got confused along the way, but I had just gotten better. And I found myself in hell.   I dont want to be here, I want to be back where crap was good. I want to be back where "heya" gave me a smile.   I've been listening to a song it helped me get over my confusion, then friday night one line r

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shadowgod

Karma

I am convinced I must have been a huge prick in a former life. I guess in some ways I still am.

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Lets make a deal...

Okay, so I made an exceedingly whiny blog post earlier today. I have subsequently set said post to private because me being all... I don't know how to describe it. Let's just say if it wasn't me that wrote it I'd want to strangle the little bitch that did. Anyhow, me giving in to that attitude isn't going to work.   So here is the deal. If I don't stop myself and do in the future post something that just makes you want to strangle me for being a whiney little bitch, by all means do what ever y

shadowgod

shadowgod

Where have all the people gone?

Grrrr   Where in the hell have all the people gone? I just had to cancel an eye appointment I had this afternoon... which pisses me off to no end, but that is besides the point. It took like an hour to cancel the damn appointment! First of all there is a stupid call-block thing on the work phone, so I have to enter a seven digit password to make a toll-free call ( 866 HELLO! ). Then the stupid "automated" system is being all sketchy. Sounds like a skipping CD. Then it wasn't recognizing entri

shadowgod

shadowgod

Again

I got called pitiful yesterday. It was in jest but I dunno, anything for the demons to latch on to ya know? The perpetrator is a regular customer. He buys lottery and a few weeks ago we were doing that 'what would you do?' shtick. I may have mentioned that I really have no need for massive sums of money, Just enough to be comfortable and stable and Ill be just fine. He was saying that he is going to buy a Ferrari.   Don't get me wrong, I love Ferrari and would love to drive one. I just can't

shadowgod

shadowgod

prepaid mobile craigslist

Whats Up... Class starts again next week and it looks like I'm going to end the off time with a whimper rather than a bang. That's okay though, I got a lot done over the break. Not writing wise, but I guess I sorted some personal shit out, ran into some more, and got that dealt with.   Crap I still need to buy books, and update the FAFSA... :wacko: Totally out of left field...   A cheap little prepaid TMobil phone was left at the station last week. No one has claimed it, or even asked ab

shadowgod

shadowgod

Holding patterns

I hate not being sure of something. I believe this is at the heart of my ... issues lately. That being said, I usually never act on something if there is risk involved. What can I say, I'm a big pussy in that regard. Somehow, over the last several weeks, I am no longer sure of much anything at all and its bugging the hell out of me.   It started with one thing and just ballooned from there. People whose presence I took for granted are talking about moving across the country, the job I have had

shadowgod

shadowgod

Mixed Bag and Breaking Mountains...

I hate not getting a straight answer.   So there was a meeting on Wednesday, has to do with my future to some degree. You see I have been getting the mail for the business the last few days and there have been a few notices from the pay-phone company we deal with, which basically say: "Hey, we've noticed that you have opened an escrow account, please inform the new owner that we have a contract with you, and the new contract will be binding for them as well!" Okay so there is an es

shadowgod

shadowgod

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