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A blog by shadowgod in Member

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About this blog

strained musings of an open mind

Entries in this blog

Spicy taco....

So, yeah entry number two, because Im mad bored like this and I found this story particularly entertaining.   So my sister has (had? its hard to keep up some days) a crush on a guy that works down the way. I find him particularly Goober-ish... He even has a a shirt with sushi on it, and covets a shower curtain painted with large vestiges of the fishy entr
shadowgod

shadowgod

7

Forcibly domesticated...

Before we go there, YES I am house broken, and alright, I have been "domesticated" for awhile it was just a catchy title and sums up what I spent the weekend doing rather nicely.   Perhaps I should explain...   Lately I haven't had much time between work school and trying to be social on some levels. Unfortunately for my bedroom, it has taken the brunt of my procrastination. The problem only compounded it self when you add in 3 semesters worth of school papers and books. Compound all that w
shadowgod

shadowgod

1

Day 19

I want a cigarette.... how crazy is that 19 freakn' days and you'd think Id be done with this crap by now.   Adding to this.. compulsion Ive been all scatter brained lately and acting way out of character. I'd blame the voluntary nicotine withdrawal, but yeah its been 19 days. The chemical really can't still be reeking havoc in my system can it? Anyhow, my focus has been pretty shitty and Ive been neglecting things I shouldn't. Case in point, my beta work I do for a few different people.  
shadowgod

shadowgod

10

Something Different

So yeah most of my blogs have been bleh lately. Not this one.   I feel a little lost, because I'm not sitting in any class for the intersession. But to remedy that I do get to register for classes next Friday. Right now its looking like College level Algebra, or Statistics... Tuesday Thursday. Monday night they finally have a creative writing class. you can bet my ass is signing up for that! and I hoping to get an anthropology or world religions class in on Wednesday. We'll see how that goes b
shadowgod

shadowgod

4

Showing my hand....

I am an asshole, just so you know.   My Uncle passed away recently, and honestly I have sympathy for the situation, but not for the man. I feel bad about this. It's like I have all these concerns and worries over people I care about, but little to nothing for the rest, even if they are members of my family.   Family is supposed to be first. I have always been taught that. No matter what happens in life they are always there for you. It sounds great in a book, and in a hallmark card, but whi
shadowgod

shadowgod

5

Its been a weird week...

Much less preferable then last week. It started out more or less the same. Monday brings work, then the phone call came. The phone call its self wasn't all that surprising. I have an aunt who has been... existing in Oregon. Living in the trailer park with her husband, and her daughter (who is about a month younger then I) and her 4 (?) kids. Anyhow she has been calling lately, mending bridges she burned a number of years ago with a bad real estate agreement.   My mom has been sending clothes,
shadowgod

shadowgod

0

the aftermath.....

Have you ever had somebody, through their actions, ruin something for you? My brother is the only of my parents four children to spawn grandchildren. I know my hang-ups, I can't say what it is with my sisters... that's a whole different subject. Anyhow seeing as he has the only grandchildren he thinks he can get away with stuff, or dangle the two of them over our heads.   He effectively has me burnt out on children. Knowing this pisses me off at him more. I mean how selfish can you be? How can
shadowgod

shadowgod

2

Enter the Racoon, killing a habit, killing the crazy

It all started on a Sunday in January 2007. A day I stepped out of the comfortable world I knew and into something entirely different. The following 24 months have been a blur; mostly more of the same, but a trip to San Francisco and to Dallas. Those destinations are okay, what made them special was the people I met there.   The smiles I received, a collection wholly owned by myself, are some of the most precious gifts I could have recieved. The friendships formed, make those smiles so much be
shadowgod

shadowgod

3

Whats done is... Done

The semester is finally done.   I am pretty confidant about my English Grade. I'm sure it's going to be an A. That final was really beyond easy. Only ten questions. Three of which were quotes from King Henry IV. You had to identify who said them. It very much helped that I used both of the quotes in a paper I did on the play. Another question was: "What was Ivan Ilyich doing?" I couldn't pass it up. I had to reply: "Ivan Ilyich was dying." I couldn't pass it up, I'm a natural smart ass what c
shadowgod

shadowgod

4

It's late... Er early...

I have to study for a history final... I'm not doing it though. If I did I'd probably pass out cold. Instead, I'm sitting at work, may as well be twiddling my thumbs for as productive as I am being right now. Currently four women are being busy counting every item in the store. The only reason I am here a whole twenty hours after I woke up yesterday morning is to provide access to the office computer and to make sure they don't screw up the counts too bad.   This is bleh because I still have
shadowgod

shadowgod

7

My December

So it's raining, there is even talk about the possibility of snow flurries by Wednesday. It's rather sublime to live in Southern California and see the possibility of snow in the forecast. It's not the first time it has happened. It snowed some 6 years ago now, back when I was living with my Aunt on the north side of the city. It was interesting, amazing really. there wasn't much of it, an inch or less. But, enough that you could scrap together a decent snowball of the grass and toss it at the k
shadowgod

shadowgod

3

Life in the IE

and now for something completely different...   Sadly a lot of these are true, a few I can't attest to, and others that are just way-y off base (for me anyhow).     A little local humor:   You know you're from the Inland Empire IF...     1. Every one of your friends, including yourself, has a drinking problem.   2. You're pissed that you live in the 909 but your cell is 951.   3. Everyone is in a band.   4. Statutory rape laws dont exist here.   5. You hook up with someone on F
shadowgod

shadowgod

2

A New Years Resolution

So, my mother has decided on a New Years Resolution. Lets overlook the fact that she's a tad early, cause hey preparedness is key right? Anyhow, her resolution is to get me to talk more...   I dunno how to feel about this. Mostly whenever we seem to talk anymore things become, well heated would be a nice way of phrasing it I guess. We have differing opinions on things... Religion, Politics, etcetera etcetera etcetera...   I guess I came to the conclusion a few years ago "Why say anything whe
shadowgod

shadowgod

7

First gear

Where has the year gone? I find myself asking that more and more often these days. Why, as we age, does the perception of time speed up. Where does the excess go? Is it all too much fodder for the langoliers in the end?   Meh...   I again feel stuck. I wanted to be free of my job, but the last year has seen the economy live up to the expectations of so many doomsday predictions. It has tanked, and unemployment has soared. Yet oddly enough "Black Friday" seems to, by most accounts, have been
shadowgod

shadowgod

6

Good People

They do exist.   They bloom in soil you have long thought infertile.   It's no secret that I can not count a majority of the members of my family in that column, for now, but I was surprised to learn of a change of heart on the part of one family member whom I value.   He has long been homophobic, even paranoid of a sort. It seems however, slow integration, and realization, has tempered his fear and misunderstanding. I can not attest to the process being complete, but he is thankful for m
shadowgod

shadowgod

9

The Edu-Nazi Strikes Back!

Beh.... So I did worse then I had anticipated. Somewhere around the D mark on Friday.   To be honest I am at that point where I just want to give the whole school thing my middle finger and be done with it. Meh... I'm frustrated that it is taking so long... I'm frustrated that its gonna take even longer. I'm suffering from a whole Veruca Salt moment. That whole "I want it now!" thing. Hopefully this character lapse doesn't make me a bad nut... its just. Yeah.   I dropped the Math class caus
shadowgod

shadowgod

9

6 Shots of Courage for the Darkness Within.

Thats all it takes... or maybe seven the details become sketchy when dealing with Patron and Jose Cuervo...   I skipped out on class last night. I had to gather the laptop delete some FTP accounts so no unauthorized access happened. Plus I just deleted all the files and pictures I had on the drive. Better that way, who needs nosy techs snooping through a persons stuff? So yeah as I was about to box it up, having whispered sweet nothings, windows decided it was high time to install vista servic
shadowgod

shadowgod

1

All Hallows Eve

So Halloween was interesting this year... There was class, which was moved into a lecture hall instead of the normal classroom it is held in. It was moved on account of potential noise due to a "Haunted Valley" Thing the student council was throwing on campus last night. It looked interesting from what I saw of it. Kind of an alternative for families as a safe alternative to trick-r-treating. More on the safe part in a moment....   There where a number of booths setup for the kids in full rega
shadowgod

shadowgod

2

Losing Ctrl

Sunday afternoon as I was getting Tiff squard away in her new Hosted Status, and generally annoying anyone I could get ahold of on MSN the left hand ctrl button on my laptop popped off. I was annoyed to say the least. Missing buttons look ugly and ghetto. To say the least... Really I was more concerned with the asthetic more than I was any function.   Then I got to realizing how much I use that damn key for cut and paste...   Anyhow I did some quick research... this is how you replace said b
shadowgod

shadowgod

3

Unnatural Fears

I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.   I'm afraid I'm making a mountain out of a mole-hill   I'm afraid I'll wake up tomorrow and everything will be how it was two weeks ago.   I'm afraid I'll listen to my brain when it tells my heart to shut up, again.
shadowgod

shadowgod

0

5 questions...

I've been exposed to poetry lately. Not that I am uncultured, or anything. I just don't regularly partake of the stuff. Anyhow a few have caught my eye, and you guys should look into them if you get the chance.   To an Athlete Dying Young - A.E. Housman (I'm probably going to buy a book of his poetry, I enjoyed this poem so much) Piazza Piece - John Crowe Ransom Not Waving but Drowning - Stevie Smith   The last poem was discussed recently. Hearing it read, seeing it through the
shadowgod

shadowgod

4

There all along

So a week ago last Friday I was looking high and low for my packet of scan-tron sheets. For those of you not in the know a scan-tron sheet is an answer sheet for tests and such. Anyhow I had a test in my beloved history class that Friday and the bookstore being conscious of the needs of its students decided to close at 1:00 pm. I didn't get off work until 3:00pm. Anyhow I spent two hours looking high and low for these answer sheets so I could take the test. I looked for them everywhere, but cou
shadowgod

shadowgod

2

I want it back

I've turned into what I always feared.   Friday night, during a much needed break from History class. ( 3 hours of hell every Friday night) I ventured outside. I normally don't leave the class during break. Simple as There is no where to go, so why even bother, right? Anyhow, this past Friday we had a test, I didn't want to hang around in class whilst the test was still going so I went out into the cold night air. I somehow got mixed up in a group conversation of how much this particular Histo
shadowgod

shadowgod

2

reflections on america

Time is dithering into the abyss, silly season is drawing to a close. Right on track with the death of this most wonderful quad-annual event, both Candidates have eschewed what really matters in an effort to smear their opponent. One ignores the issues and attacks, the other ignores the issues and counter attacks.   The sad irony is that they promised us change, they promised us reform, but at the end of the day its business as usual on the road to Washington.   America is still willing to p
shadowgod

shadowgod

6

Second star to the right

What if Peter Pan woke up one morning and realized he was a man?   I am a man, yet I don't feel like a man. Which leads me to another question. Is there ever a moment when we are supposed to feel like a man?   Will I ever? Will I ever look in the mirror and know that I am a man? At this moment I don't think so. I've not once had that feeling in the last 10 years. I don't see it happening in the next ten, or the ten after that. I'd like to be a man though, free to decide my own future. Free t
shadowgod

shadowgod

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