Jump to content
RIP - Comicality
  • entries
    643
  • comments
    1,623
  • views
    380,797

About this blog

the Beast's Lair

Entries in this blog

NFL Week 3 Preview

Why is Norv Turner head coach at San Diego?   When you look at his resume, you have to wonder what San Diego was thinking when they hired him.   His best years were at Dallas as offensive coordinator during the glory days of 1992-93 when Jerry Jone's Cowboys had Troy Aikman in his prime and won back to back super bowls.   When you get past the super bowls, the best records that he has achieved as a head coach have been 10-6 with the Washington Redskins in 1999 and 11-6 with a good San Dieg
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

3

Colts-Dolphins MNF at its Best

Now as far as cynical old bastards go, I'm right in there with them. I'm not easily impressed by classless oafs making millions of dollars for being steroid enhanced freaks of nature.   Tonight the Colts and the Dolphins earned their money. There was no phoning it in or half-ass play. These teams got after each other. It was assholes and elbows all night.   Tonight's Colts-Dolphins game was one for the ages. It was a classical match up: a high powered passing offense vs an old fashioned, gri
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

NFL Week 2

Patriots are 0-2 after losing to the Jets     Saints paste the Eagles 48-22     Bungals beat the sad-sack Pack 31-24     "Orton hears a boo" led Broncos beat the underwear Stains (the Browns) 27-6     I'll laugh at the Giant disappointments or the Cowgirls regardless of who loses the suck-fest being held in Jerry Jones ego at this hour.   If I missed laughing at your team, don't despair. You can be sure I'll be laughing at them soon.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

1

Baptists, death and fried chicken

A week ago Sunday my father passed away. It has been a difficult time around here.   My father had health problems for a long time and was becoming less and less able to get around and function. While I am sorry he is gone, I am very glad that he missed the stage where he lost his dignity. He died peacefully in his sleep and if you've got to go, there are far worse ways to depart.   As exhausting, emotional and difficult this has been, there are some unique things about southern funeral ritu
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Environmental Douschebag Alert

Today a judge fined a local environmental activist $500 for dumping.   July 28, Jeremy C. of Brandon, MS was confronted by a Rankin county sheriff's deputy dumping trash in a rural area that local residents had been complaining about for months. Items dumped were old pesticide, car batteries, old paint cans, mattresses and furniture.   What made it even better was that Mr. C. was driving his Chevy Taiho with tons of edgy "Green" stickers like save the whales, Greenpeace and Green Day.   Mr
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

911: the truth is out there

This film featuring Mulla Omar and Bin Laden was captured in Afghanistan in late 2001. Bin Laden likes to tape his "high level" meetings.  as reported by Fox and CBS.  NBC reports suicide attack plot a year in advance.   The story is so fantastic that many people dismissed it thinking that Islamists were incapable of launching anything of that scale or sophistication. A suicide attack with an airliner was a key part of the plot of a popular novel by Tom Clancy and many people dismissed i
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

3

LMAO Awards!

Eych! Cats ask for it by name!   The most shocking practical joke in movie history <<Hurl alert, have bucket ready>>     Best comic timing and placement of epicac   Best farting animal   Best Commercial involving a horse   The Unluckiest Guy in all of Film, TV or Radio
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

0

Game Manual

I'm writing a game manual for an online game called Outer Core   It is similar to Astro Empires but it expanded and the programmer is constantly working to improve and expand it.   Check it out but be warned- it is addictive. Message me if you join   __________________________________   Distribution: This handbook is for distribution to Weyland-Yutani Managers, Associates and Allies only. Unauthorized duplication or distribution is prohibited and may result in the total forfeiture of s
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

0

BULLSHIT

I just wasted 2 hours of my life watching a documentary about a whining, drugged out little bitch called Jack Smith and the Destruction of Atlantis   It is about this freak of a producer that makes BULLSHIT, I mean art, that no one understands, cares about or wants to watch.   He bitches and whines the whole time about the evils of capitalism through the entire documentry film while he makes this weird BULLSHIT that he calls art that no one wants.   He talks about squeezing art out of him
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

4

Something weird that still haunts me

September 8, 2001: Was an ordinary Saturday. I worked on my truck. I grilled some burgers and had some friends over for supper.   My next door neighbor Lori and I sat on her front porch and talked about nothing until midnight.   I went to bed and had one of the worst f*ing nightmares of my life. I still remember fragments of it.   I saw a face I can only describe as cruel and hateful. His eyes were dark and the face was angry. I could see the eyes as two pinpoints of red light.   Then I
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Looking for a Gig?

So what are you doing? Are you looking for a gig?   I've been doing all right, always looking to upgrade.   Well some guys I know have a big project that's about to kick off in South America..   John, we've been there, done that. You know those coup d'
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Teaser: THOR

THOR     The cryo-chamber woke Colonel Anthony Webb two days early as programmed. Nobody really liked cryo-sleep but Webb hated it passionately. He always woke early on a mission so that he could clear his head and get his ducks in a row.   He rubbed his temple in response to the throbbing headache that he always got in the cryo-chamber and slowly sat up. As he came back to life he dropped his feet over the edge and touched the cold floor of the deck. The shock of the cold made him jump.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

1

Company Promo

USS Sulaco, Colonial Marines   The Sulaco is a Conestoga class Marine Assault ship typical of the ships used by the Colonial Marines as they patrol the outer rim and respond to crisis. She is equipped to cope with land, air and deep space threats. Sulaco can combat land two platoons of Colonial Marines and provide air support with everything from laser guided smart munitions all the way up to W-2000 variable yield fusion warheads.     Schematic of a Conestago class Marine Assault Ship (MA
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

3

A Message from PETA

While you are out there exploiting new worlds, please don't wipe out the native wildlife. That's sooo 20th century.   There are unique species and ecosystems that took eons to evolve. It's a crime against nature and science to destroy them.   Besides- you never know what creature may become the next Siamese Cat or Golden Retriever and have great value. Here's a little pup I found on a survey in the Rho Andromeda system.     I found this cute little fellow on a survey of an ugly little
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Weyland-Yutani Press Release: we're hiring!

Hi! I'm JamesSavik. I am an administrator for the Company but I'm really a nice guy.     You don't have to be an amoral, manipulative and evil to work here but it sure helps.   Some of our perks:   Exotic Pets!   Interesting Duty Stations   Retirement packages!   If you think you've got what it takes to be an associate of the Company, message me and we'll see.   Our stock is on the rise and there are plenty of new worlds to exploit.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

0

August 9, 1942

Aug. 9, 1942   The United States and her Allies are on their heels in the Pacific. Japan looks invincible. From December until June, Japanese forces had over run Wake, Guam, the Philippines, Java, Malaysia, the Caroline Islands, the Marshall Islands,   Everything had been going Japan's way up until they were turned back at the Battle of the Coral Sea and were defeated soundly at Midway on Jun 4th.   The United States and her allies Great Britain and Australia decided on a time and place
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

4

Gay Challenged

How can I say this without being offensive?   If gay people went to gay school, I would ride the gay short bus.   I must be the most incompetent gay man in North America.   I would rather hunt than shop.   When I'm in a new city, I check out the hardware stores to see if they have magical kung-fu tools that I've never seen before.   My wardrobe has more in common with Walmart and Target than Pierre Cardin or Brooks Brothers.   I drive a truck with a big steel toolbox that has everyth
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

10

Overbooked

*Coming up for air*   Holy crap- months of not much now they can't get enough of me:   2 new contracts 3 beta readings 9 chapters of Twilight   AARGH!   Please be patient. I'm working my way through the pile.   I'm paying special attention to Twilight right now. It's at a turning point and I want it to go just right.   I'll crawl out as soon as I can.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Feeling Good

Today I completed the last site on my list (of 30 statewide). I came in WAY under budget, 30 days early and am looking at a sweet bonus.   The HOT, HARD work had an unintended but welcome side effect: the hot Mississippi sun burned off about 30 pounds. I'm trimmer and bulging in all the right places. There's even less gray in my hair.   Who needs a health club when it's 150 degrees in an attic?   I haven't told the story of the good looking Air Force guy I fraked in Bay St. Louis Thursday
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

2

Gumbo

There are hundreds of recipes for gumbo but I thought I would share an easy one that produces good results.     Ingredients:   * 1 1/2 cups crabmeat * 2 pounds shrimp, in shells * 3 quarts water * 2 small bay leaves * 1 teaspoon lemon juice * 1 small onion, cut in wedges * salt and black pepper * parsley * 1 pounds okra, sliced * 4 tablespoons bacon grease, divided * 2 tomatoes, peeled & chopped * 2 red onions, finely chopped
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

14

Back in the Saddle

I was pleased to land the contract: 30 stores from July to mid-August. As far as contracts go it was modest but for a solo operator like me it was just right.   I got the package in the last week of June that covered the stores and the scope of work. I was expected to come up with a schedule. The contract was administered by a nation-wide systems integrator that I had worked with from time to time. They would be skimpy on the hours but as long as I was good about documenting the expenses, thin
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

1

Rebel Kitty

This is my new kitten Havoc. He plays all the time: we are his human cat toys. He runs, he jumps, he bites, he claws and climbs me causing many lacerations.       In trying to figure out how this spoiled kitty is so rough, I noticed these strange markings on his head.     Coincidence? I think not.   ____________________________   PS- I'm back after a cooling off period but II'm not going anywhere NEAR the soapbox.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

6

I'm out of here

I'm tired of the bias.   I'm tired of getting penalized for disagreeing with DK.   OK he owns the place. Fine.   It's all his.
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

16

Why I'm not in Congress

I may be evil but I do have standards.   Knowing that nobody has actually bothered to read the Pork, I mean Stimilus Package, I would insert the following clause:   Amendment 301.23.451 All states and municipalaties that accept stimilius funds are required to have all of their citizens renounce their faith and begin to worship the evil goddess Globulus. In early April, 100 of the nations best basketball players must be sacrificed to Globulus to avoid a plague of boils and rats.   Amendme
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

7

Heavy Metals

Heavy Metals   Parliament Fleet Annex Epsilon Auriga April 10, 2681     Ellis Dutton, Chief of the Parliament Office of Galaxy Minerals, looked at the official Request for Proposal that his office had received earlier that day. If he could secure a fraction of the order, his five percent commission would make him rich beyond the dreams of avarice.   He looked at the list and he looked at Captain Osborne of the Fleet Procurement Office and said,
JamesSavik

JamesSavik

0
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..