WOW, it's been a while and a hell of an adventure. And here comes the BUT.....
I find myself trapped again, from a desolate, miserable time on the farm, to living the high life as a lifestyle Dom, with all the trappings that go along with that.
Large house, 35 staff to run it, 2 contracted subs, and a partridge in a pear tree you might say.
The BUT is the responsibility of looking after said house, staff etc.
The day this change came about was the same day, me and Stuby spli
Where to start is always the difficult part for me. What brought this blog update about is, my sleeping pattern has gone from bad to very good to bad again. All because I have too much going on in my head.
What am I juggling? Well, actually my life.
Stuby is first priority, his health, welfare and happiness is and always will be my first priority.
Joint second is the farm, and my friends here and on FB.
Next is my studies. I have my course material through now, and I need to get on top of it
What I care about and what I don’t.
First of all I want to say GA is not just about writing and reading. It’s about people too.
The one thing I’m proud of, before I joined GA was the fact that I have the quality of acceptance.
I don’t care about:
Your colour, your looks, or your dress sense, you could wear trousers, dresses or walk round with knickers on your head. It doesn’t matter.
What your sex is or orientation, do you have a fetish for rubber or wax or just get off on having a qu
A few of you seem interested in my life-style so I thought I would give you more info.
The basics are food, water, power.
Food I grow my own pork and chicken, veg and salad crops. Besides the outside growing, I have a large heated greenhouse. I hunt for other meat sources like rabbit, pheasant, pigeon. Yes pigeons may not have a lot of meat, but it is rather nice.
Anything I cant grow, or make. I locally source and buy in. I have slipped a bit lately with take-aways the lads introduced
Before I start this entry. I want to state, I didnt write it for sympathy.
I'ts to stop me bottling it all up, and sending me on a downward spiral.
So lets get this out.
Most of you know my past, or some of it. I didnt get the socialising, interacting, childhood most of you got.
I have no experience of sharing, for instance. I had nobody to share anything with. And cut off and isolated as I was and still am. I never got the opportunity to learn that stuff.
I never stop learning. Now more th
Well! only me! Its about progress and moving forward.
I am a different man now to what I was when I joined back in April. There have been many ups and downs, there still are but they are made better in minutes by my Stuby.
October is a bad month for me, and the end of it especially, not only my abuser dieing but also that she was buried. And along with all the flash backs and the bad stuff bubbling up.Is relief thats its over and she has gone.
I still have issues and hang-ups but they are
OK so its been a while and I think some updating needs to be done.
I'm still stuck here, but getting closer and closer to freedom.
Ive been told I should seek freedom from here for myself. But that isnt reason enough. I like it here, its my life, my home. I have no reason to leave. With all the shit thats happening out there, i'm safe here.
But I have one reason to leave now. And i'll fight every second of every day to get passed it.The weekends still scare me. Because I cant face the gate al
I joined here in April a pretty sad case. Lonely, confused, hurt time and time over.
Have I made progress? I'd like to think so, yeah I guess so.
I joined here to read, to find something that sort of spelled out how I feel.
I'm big on feelings and emotions, and what the senses are.
How have I moved on? Well I write now, something I love to do,and want to carry on doing.
A lot of you know I didnt go to school, at all not even properly home schooled, in fact most of it is self-taught. So thi