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28) Indecisive Longing


Jason Rimbaud

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It wasn't until I talked to you on the phone

That's when I realized just how much I missed you

Your voice brought back so many memories

I haven't thought about the "thistle" incident in years

And for a time it was like 1995 all over again

When we were still an "us" and mostly happy

 

It wasn't until we both hung up the phone

That's when I realized just how little I missed you

We both know that this life is ever changing

This is a fact based on a principle we both understand

Friendship was nothing more than a mutual effort of "use"

And when the "use" was depleted so too was the friendship

 

I don't have to like this reality but I do understand it

So when "us" ended I forced myself to move on

I'll admit there are times I wonder how you are fairing

There are times when I yearn to see your child

There are times when I feel like I lost my right arm

And there are times when the loss of you is overwhelming

 

And in these times I say f**k growth, f**k change

And f**k all things new and improved

I say let's stay the same, let's never grow

Let's never alter and let's never stretch our wings

Let's stay comfortable and out of control

Let's stay mediocre, hidden, let's stay children

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"

I don't have to like this reality but I do understand it

So when "us" ended I forced myself to move on

I'll admit there are times I wonder how you are fairing

There are times when I yearn to see your child

There are times when I feel like I lost my right arm

And there are times when the loss of you is overwhelming"

 

Touching verse.

 

Funny how when we're children, we can't wait to grow up, but when we do we wish we could turn back the clock...

 

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