My aunt recently passed away. She's been fighitng breast cancer for almost five years, and we've had a few close calls this last year, but she finally asked to go home the week before christmas. I was working, and wasn't able to break away until Thursday of that week. She died that Wednesday.

 

She was my mom's little sister and best friend. Smart as hell, pretty much the Tax expert for all of the relatives. And beautiful. Most of that side of the family has more looks than sense, but she had both and was the best looking of her sisters. Her daughter and I are nearly the same age, and were raised closer to siblings than cousins. She was, in many ways, a second mother to me, and coming out to her was nearly as scary as coming out to my parents.

 

We finally had the funeral service the first week of January. My uncle wanted to wait until after the holidays, to not have their mother's death hanging over Christmas for my younger cousins. Not that it helped, but I don't think hewas ready to deal at the time, and it was his choice. My family was well behaved, for us. The lack of booze helped, probably. The church might even let us back one day. Oh, sure, one of my aunts has declared blood feud against a nun that told us where we were and were not allowed to put pictured up at the funeral, but since that aunt lives in a different county, I don't think much will come of it. There was only a little yelling, and my aunt (who is pushing 50) muttering "you're not the boss of me" once the nun was out of earshot.

 

It was very much a women's event. I have many aunts, and more female cousins than male. Not only that, but my female relatives have in the main outlived their spouses and brothers, which is something I try not to think about very often. IN any case, that buffet line was organized by clan almost without conversation needed, and I found myself ejected from the kitchen pretty quickly and sent to organize the drink bar. I think I was only allowed to do that much because I used to be a waiter, or I'd have been made to wait outside with the other guys.

 

There was a slide show of my aunt organized. My cousin spent an entire night setting it up, and putting it to music. I wish I could have helped, had known they needed help. Not only do I stay up all night regularly for work, but there were some songs I would have liked to add. "

" made my mom cry when I played it for her, and I sang to her " My voice is not great, but she appreciated the effort.

 

I've cried little, myself. Not only because I've been expecting it for the last while, and was prepared, but I could see the exhaustion in my aunt's eyes whenever I've seen her this last year. She lived her life as a bundle of energy, strong and wise, opinionated and cantankerous. I've no doubt she would have been a crazy old cat lady, if only she hadn't hated cats. I will miss her, her example and drive. There was so much she didn't have time to pass on, that only she knew from my grandmother. It's said each generation is poorer than the last. We're proving it.

 

Goodbye Aunt Linda. I thought it was nice of the church to read Proverbs for you, but anyone who's ever met you knew the reading wasn't something to live up to for you. It was just your life.