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Family secrets


ryan jo

799 views

My sister is pregnant. It's that simple, but my parents won't tell me. I think they want to keep it a secret because she's still not out of the clear from a cancer scare. (She's about 7 weeks now)

 

Our friend from California confirmed to me that there is a bun in the oven, but I knew. Everyone in the damn house is just too cautious around me. The hints are all there. She's a smoker, all of a sudden she stopped. I offered her tequila, she refuses. They know that I know... just pretending that I don't know.

 

The reason I'm up at 5:30 besides my jog? My sister knocks on my door and asks me to make her chicken Alfredo. She's just so needy. Everything is, "Ryan remember that bread you bought? Buy it for me." Or "Ry, can you make me some cookies?" The best is a phone call from yesterday.

 

At the City looking at some stuff.

-phone rings-

 

Me: What do you want?

Sister: Where are you?

Me: City, looking at some stuff. Why?

Sister: I was just hungry. How do you feel about chicken curry?

Me: Um... it's ok. I'm not cooking again, you need to learn to cook. Ask dad or something.

Sister: I like the way you make it better-

Me: NO!

Sister: Bitch! Don't ever ask me for anything again!

 

Like I ever ask her for anything. I get home and sure enough the lazy sister is watching my dad make her the chicken curry.

 

Dinner table

 

Sister: Get me that bottle of vitamins on my vanity.

I get up and go to her room.

Me: Why do you have pre-natal vitamins? Are you pregnant? (I'm trying to get her to confess.)

Sister: Um... I... Um... Someone told me that if you take these it will make your boobs bigger. -nods head furiously-

Me: You're an idiot. I don't know why they let you pass the NCLEX.

Sister: Go to the corner and sell yourself.

 

This is just the beginning.

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5 Comments


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podga

Posted

Count your blessings, Ryan. Once sisters announce their pregnancy, they also feel free to provide entirely too much information on woman parts and bodily functions, and they start making tearful statements like "oh, I feel so fat" to which there are apparently only wrong answers a poor defenseless gay brother can provide.

 

My advice to you is to keep your head down for the next eight or so months, and unless she specifically says something, keep pretending not to notice.

joann414

Posted

I have to totally agree with Podga on this one. She is already demanding, once she knows you are aware of her condition, she will also become whiny and needy. I would just play ignorant as long as possible, and avoid confrontations as much as possible. :)

NaperVic

Posted

wow, your family "secrets" are like the one's in my family. Everyone always gossips, so "EVERYONE" eventually knows, but we all pretent it's still a secret.

 

Good luck catering to your sister. Consider it practice for when you have a high maintenance BF in the future :)

Andrew Q Gordon

Posted

What corner will you be on and when? :P

 

**Gets out google maps and waits patiently**

rockyroads

Posted

Yikes! If she can't take care of herself, how is she going to care for a little one? I agree with Pogda & Joann. If she's already this bad, the last trimester is going to be ugly. If you lived closer, I'd offer up my spare bed so you could hide for the duration. Or this will be good training for tolerance and patience in the face of extreme adversity. Best of luck. You're going to need it.

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