I know I MUST write, else I’ll go mad. So, I am writing this.
As you all well know yesterday, a mad man carrying a gun entered a school full of children in Connecticut and killed 20 children and 7 adults. The person in question later killed himself as well. One of the teachers of the school was his mother, who was the target of this seemingly volcanic eruption of emotion that had led to the killing spree. The man was mentally ill. And he had access to a semiautomatic rifle that was used to fire a hundred rounds of bullets on CHILDREN. God bless America, the land of the righteous and free.
On another front, we had lost a dear friend and fellow comrade, Roan as he was affectionately called, to his long standing sickness. Roan was a good man, a horse worthy of winning any race. An honest loving friend that we all cherished is lost. I had communicated a very few times with him, that too after his sickness had set in and when he had become irregular in GA, his updates dark and full of angst. Yet, even on those few times when we exchanged words, I always felt his warmth coming through. I can only imagine what he had been at his best. May Lord rest his soul in peace.
Two seemingly disconnected faces of utter tragedy have opened the floodgates of emotions for me. Long repressed, full of dirt and slime they now flow unabashed. I know the world does not care. It does not matter how many flowers wilt in the fields, how many horses die in the stables, the unstoppable grind of the wheel will continue to crush our bones. “Civilization” as we know it, will continue as always. Gaza will continue to be bombarded. The children of the poor will continue to be sold in the open market, their meat herded into prostitution or worse. The Himalayan belt will become more safely inhabited by a few more drug refineries and farmers will continue to produce truckloads of Ganja and Opium for those refineries. Africa, with each passing hour, will continue to turn into zombie-land thanks to XDR Tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS and Famine. And pharmaceutical companies will keep on riding the bull of profit with the exploitation of the lifesaving drugs that if used properly can save billions. The politicians and other scum of the earth will keep on sucking our marrow till our minds rot. Ashes to ashes…
I don’t know, what I want to convey with my words. I am not writing with a conscious goal tonight. Just absolute DISGUST!
This wonderful modern civilization of ours, is the pinnacle of filth and hypocrisy and shamelessness. Never before were we so self centred and sure of our infallibility as of now. And that is our doom. Our pride in our civility and refined manners is going to bring us crashing down to the abyss of utter destruction. All religions talk about sins and perversions and appointed punishments for those, in a place we will go after our happy time in this mortal world, the world of our vain civilizations, of dead morals. But, Hell is not in some other life, where an unknown deity administers punishments depending upon our arbitrary demerits according to a dogmatic view. Hell is very much around us. Our ideals, our actions, our expectations, our creations, our perversions, our attitudes… everything is a constituent of our very own personal HELL. And to live is to suffer. Day after day, we rot in our own living carcasses, our souls long dead. We call it high-end living.
At least for once, I implore you all, come out of your damned shells and declare your hypocrisy. If you are going to keep living in expense others' misery, the least you can do is to accept your nature. Let go of the honeyed tongue. Those, who relentlessly drink your poison, can survive without it.
I am one of you fella’s! I love the way I live, and I don’t care a damned fig about what happens to our sorry existence, how the social morality washes away ever so slowly into oblivion. And I refuse to put a gold leaf on it. I don’t care about anyone or anything else other than my own sorry arse. And I am proud of it.
Now, it’s your turn. Stop judging. Come off your high horse and confess your crimes, NOW. But, I know, none of you will. Go rot in your putrid hopelessness.