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Litany of the Damned



I know I MUST write, else I’ll go mad. So, I am writing this.


As you all well know yesterday, a mad man carrying a gun entered a school full of children in Connecticut and killed 20 children and 7 adults. The person in question later killed himself as well. One of the teachers of the school was his mother, who was the target of this seemingly volcanic eruption of emotion that had led to the killing spree. The man was mentally ill. And he had access to a semiautomatic rifle that was used to fire a hundred rounds of bullets on CHILDREN. God bless America, the land of the righteous and free.


On another front, we had lost a dear friend and fellow comrade, Roan as he was affectionately called, to his long standing sickness. Roan was a good man, a horse worthy of winning any race. An honest loving friend that we all cherished is lost. I had communicated a very few times with him, that too after his sickness had set in and when he had become irregular in GA, his updates dark and full of angst. Yet, even on those few times when we exchanged words, I always felt his warmth coming through. I can only imagine what he had been at his best. May Lord rest his soul in peace.


Two seemingly disconnected faces of utter tragedy have opened the floodgates of emotions for me. Long repressed, full of dirt and slime they now flow unabashed. I know the world does not care. It does not matter how many flowers wilt in the fields, how many horses die in the stables, the unstoppable grind of the wheel will continue to crush our bones. “Civilization” as we know it, will continue as always. Gaza will continue to be bombarded. The children of the poor will continue to be sold in the open market, their meat herded into prostitution or worse. The Himalayan belt will become more safely inhabited by a few more drug refineries and farmers will continue to produce truckloads of Ganja and Opium for those refineries. Africa, with each passing hour, will continue to turn into zombie-land thanks to XDR Tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS and Famine. And pharmaceutical companies will keep on riding the bull of profit with the exploitation of the lifesaving drugs that if used properly can save billions. The politicians and other scum of the earth will keep on sucking our marrow till our minds rot. Ashes to ashes…


I don’t know, what I want to convey with my words. I am not writing with a conscious goal tonight. Just absolute DISGUST!


This wonderful modern civilization of ours, is the pinnacle of filth and hypocrisy and shamelessness. Never before were we so self centred and sure of our infallibility as of now. And that is our doom. Our pride in our civility and refined manners is going to bring us crashing down to the abyss of utter destruction. All religions talk about sins and perversions and appointed punishments for those, in a place we will go after our happy time in this mortal world, the world of our vain civilizations, of dead morals. But, Hell is not in some other life, where an unknown deity administers punishments depending upon our arbitrary demerits according to a dogmatic view. Hell is very much around us. Our ideals, our actions, our expectations, our creations, our perversions, our attitudes… everything is a constituent of our very own personal HELL. And to live is to suffer. Day after day, we rot in our own living carcasses, our souls long dead. We call it high-end living.


At least for once, I implore you all, come out of your damned shells and declare your hypocrisy. If you are going to keep living in expense others' misery, the least you can do is to accept your nature. Let go of the honeyed tongue. Those, who relentlessly drink your poison, can survive without it.


I am one of you fella’s! I love the way I live, and I don’t care a damned fig about what happens to our sorry existence, how the social morality washes away ever so slowly into oblivion. And I refuse to put a gold leaf on it. I don’t care about anyone or anything else other than my own sorry arse. And I am proud of it.


Now, it’s your turn. Stop judging. Come off your high horse and confess your crimes, NOW. But, I know, none of you will. Go rot in your putrid hopelessness.



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There are 86,400 seconds in a day, and for every second of the day, at least two people die.

How do we mourn them all? Is it not impossible?

In the same period of time, at least 4 children will enter the world through birth.

Do we celebrate every birth in hope? Is that at all possible?


Life is finite, it is fragile, it is precious.

We cling to life, for we fear what is on the other side.

We do not know, and that fear of not knowing is paramount of all fears.


So in life, we are greedy. We hoard, we collect, we strive to have everything we can, experience everything we can, and enjoy the things we enjoy the most as much as possible.


We spend 7 billion dollars a day on public healthcare around the world. We spend 4 billion dollars a day on military conflicts. We send 300 billion emails a day, write 2,5 million blogs a day and spend $130 on video games.


In 2012 the planet will loose 5 million hectares of forest. We'll create 12 million hectares of desert  pour over 10 million tonnes of toxic chemicals into the environment, and emit over 32 billion tonnes of CO2.


There are less than 15000 days of oil left on our planet, 60000 days till the gas reserves run dry. There will be over 40 million abortions this year, and over 35 million people will be infected by HIV. 8 million of us will die to cancer and 5 million of us will die as a result of smoking, yet over 10 billion cigarettes will be smoked today alone.


There is so much to be disappointed about in our world and it is easy when we are hurting to see the bad more clearly. Our pain brings the ills of life into a sharper focus. It hones our senses to the darker side of society and makes the despair of our lifestyle more vivid.


I hear you loud and clear when you say none of us will care enough to change anything. That is the biggest downfall of mankind. Our selfish need to fulfil our desire, our compulsion to protect our privileged position in society, our need for comfort becoming a subconscious fixation of life.


Does that make me or you a bad person? Is it wrong? Yes I am a creature of habit. I too like my lifestyle, my tech toys, the ability to walk into a shop and buy what I want when I want. But I learn to save for what I want, live within my limits, and do what I can to help those whose lives I touch. So while yeah I'll admit I don't want to lose what I have, the social status I have, the comforts of my lifestyle, and that probably is selfish yes, the sad truth is that one person cannot change the world.


Sad blog Asamav, I feel your pain. Keep your chin up buddy. Yettie hugs.

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You are so true. I just wish I could get away from all this. Shut it away in some way. Just a few days ago, as a part of a Protest of a particular political party here in Bangladesh, a young man was stabbed in cold blood multiple times in an open market during daylight by 5 men. This particular man did not even affiliate with the political party in question and was a Hindu (it is a Muslim religious fanatic right wing extremist party with well known terrorist and crime links). The victim ran through the open market place, people just kept looking. There was media present who captured the whole scene on video including the ruthless attack and the chase and the faces of the assailants. A rickshaw puller who is an illiterate man of the lower socioeconomic group and happened to be on the scene and rescued this man and took him to the nearest hospital, where he was declared dead on arrival. The whole video has been shown on TV multiple times. Till now no action has been taken on the assailants. Only today, one of them is called up for questioning.


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These five men are part of the youth faction of the ruling party. They are clearly identified. They happen to be university students. 


I assure you none of this is an unnatural occurrence in this part of the world where human life is worth less than water. Had 20 children been killed in Dhaka, nobody would have batted an eyelash.

The new thing is the lack of response of the judiciary. Now, if I am killed by someone in my own home without any eye witness, what are the chances of my death being tried in court? None! I have no higher connections thus quite unimportant to anyone. Who will give me security? 


As I said before, I don't care if the rest of the world is going to hell. All I care about is my subsistence. And the society, the modern civilization is failing me.

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