Ooh, I love vampire fiction! I can't wait to read it. I just subbed my story in to them too. Did the MM Romance group's editors already go over this? You can make changes if they haven't, but if they have here are a few things to remember, for future work.

Use the find feature in Word on words like 'that' and then read each sentence aloud with and without the that. Many times we put them in when they are actually unnecessary. Example: Ben grinned with him while running his hands over every bit of Adam’s hard body that he could reach. (Here your that is unnecessary)

I am working to correct this in my writing, too, but avoid telling us your character 'feels or felt' this or that. Giving us the sensation makes it far more immediate. Example: He felt Adam’s fangs lightly scrape his neck, and he cried out at the sensation that shivered down his spine at the contact. (Here you have issues but I'd do: Adam lightly scraped his fangs across Ben's neck. A shiver ran down his spine, and he cried out.)  Example: He moaned again as he felt Adam’s hands find his hard cock and start to stroke it with strong, slow strokes. (I'd do: Adam found his hard cock and started to stroke it with both hands, using strong, slow strokes. He moaned.) 

Avoid independent body movements: Example: He felt Adam’s fangs lightly scrape his neck (Adam's fangs can't do anything one their own--see suggestion above) Adam's hands find (Adam's hands can't find anything on their own--see suggestion above) Example: His head fell back and his body arched (One, heads don't fall back and bodies don't arch on their own. Two, he's lying on a bed already so this visual seems off. I'd do: Ben collapsed against the pillows and arched his back)

Head hopping: I'm not sure what POV you are using, third obviously, but are you limiting to just one viewpoint per character per chapter/section making these head hops or purposely switching viewpoints in the same section using omniscient viewpoints for your two main characters? If you intend for this to be limited Ben's POV in third person, which is how it started so what I assume, then you have a few head hops: Example: Adam opened the bedroom door and stopped in shock on the threshold (Ben can't know exactly why Adam stops. You could show it from Ben's POV to make it obvious, though. I'd do: Adam opened the bedroom door and froze. He stared with his mouth wide open.) Example: Just tasting his mate’s blood, and hearing him cry out in completion, had been enough to make him come just as hard as Ben had. (There's no way for Ben to know this. You'd need to have Adam tell Ben he came from tasting him and hearing his pleasure to share it with the reader)

Small things: You have Adam pushing the door to the bedroom open, but if it was shut how did he hear Ben all the way outside, with the front door shut too? I'd refine the visual to have him push the door all the way open, indicating it wasn't shut. Either that, or refine the scene so that the reader knows that Ben knows Adam could hear him through the doors/distance because he's a vampire.

You did say comments and feedback are welcome.   Sorry, I know that's a lot of info. Feel free to me PM about these comments and/or your story posting. You are more than welcome to post the story here. I posted mine as an eBook last year, but I think I'll post as both the story and eBook on GA this time. Congrats on finishing your story, and I hope you enjoy the event! It's a lot of fun all summer.

I have been fortunate to work with quite a few excellent editors over the last two years. They've taught me so much, I can't even begin to thank them enough for their insights into writing and how to polish a story. I often try not to work with new authors, though,  because the amount of critique I share can be daunting to someone beginning in the craft. Your story isn't poorly written, so I hope I didn't give you that impression. There is simply a lot of refined writing techniques you could apply, when you're given the information. Until I was told about this stuff (and I've made each and every one of those I pointed out) I had no idea the issues were there or how to fix them.

Oh, and if you wish to share my critique with your editors/group, feel free.