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My Nightmares


JamesSavik

1,074 views

It's 4:30am again and I haven't slept. I've got to be up in 3 hours and I'm screwed.

 

There's danger in writing about old times. Sometimes you wake up old demons that you wished you had left alone.

 

I'm going to warn you that if you go past the spoiler you're going to read something shitty. It's one of my nightmares that comes back from time to time to torment me. I try to keep it in a little box and never take it out but sometimes it escapes and it haunts me to this very day.

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I don't know what to do with this. It's something that comes up and messes with me from time to time.

 

If there's a hell- for me that was it.

  • Like 3

7 Comments


Recommended Comments

pmdacey

Posted

I think you just did what you need to do -- share.  

  • Like 2
Irritable1

Posted

You did a really good thing that day, as much as it has cost you. 

 

James, have you ever seen a therapist for any of this stuff? There are a lot of things I couldn't really ever put away (eg witnessing a police beating) till I started working with the one I see now.

  • Like 1
joann414

Posted

What a terrible thing to witness and endure, let alone live with for the rest of your life.  Maybe pmdacey is right.  Sharing might make a difference.  Hugs and prayers.

  • Like 1
Zombie

Posted

A horrific incident. But as Irri said you did a good thing that day and gave comfort to another human being in extreme distress. So you too should take comfort from that.

  • Like 2
Kitt

Posted

I know it sounds weird - but you should be proud of what you did. I have been the first on scene at many accidents, and several of the victims didn't make it home again, so I know what you were faced with that night. You did the best you could at the time and the boy did not die alone. Because of you, he had support and love at the end. No one can ask for more.

  • Like 1
JamesSavik

Posted

The crisis passed. I wrote my blog entry. I didn't find a bottle or a handful of pills. Life on lifes terms: That's the rules. We only fuck ourselves if we break it.

 

Exhausted I went to sleep and it was over.

 

I gave you a glimpse at some of the snakes in my head and I'm sorry. Nobody should have that in their head.

 

I should delete this abomination and not inflict it on anyone else but it has always been here and so have I.

 

Yeah- I know. I'm post-traumatic. I saw someone for it for three year and I got a lot better than I used to be but just when you think they're gone they pop up again and give you a stab.

 

Here- this helps:

[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gggaP8zF5DA[/media

  • Like 1
Slytherin

Posted

:,( I can understand that you stil have nightmares. Awful thing to witness. But you were there with him so he wasn't alone  :hug: :hug:

  • Like 2

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