I am taking my love life nice and slow. I have a lot of insecurities, a lot of unknowns, and a lot of pent up sexual frustrations. That's my life right now.

My 1st question is, do I love him?

I don't know, he's charming as hell though

2nd, Can I settle don with him?

Maybe, but I want to learn more about him

I am entering that phase in a gay man's life where he is looking for stability, not the ocassional fuck or suck or tongue explorations. In the past, I dated guys in their 20's like me, now I am taking the plunge and dating a guy who's 38 and 9 years my senior. I've been finding it more appealing to be with older guys as I am getting older, the maturity level is more there. He's also not so old that I can't relate, I was playing SNES and Sega at age 7, so I know all about Duck hunt and vectorman, I watched MTV, and I remember Ducktales

I have an innate fear that I have had since I was young. I worried for the longest time of dying alone at extreme old age having survived my partner, our kids, and everyone I cared for. It was a recurring nightmare for me to be in an empty mansion looking at pictures of lost friends and a lost love with a feeling that I have achieved everything I wanted to do, but had nothing left and no dreams left.