Hi,

I could advise you some good books, but they are all written in German, so I don`t know if this would be useful. Form my own experience I think, you shouldn`t worry to much about this. Kids at the age of 4 start just to realize that there are different genders at all. If he is naming things like girl nails or colors or whatever, he probably tries to find a system behind things.

My son wanted his nails painted at the age of four, too. All his friends had nail polish, so he did it with an edding pencil. I decided to paint them with real nail polish, because it is healthier. I think we both had fun and this was this. Maybe your son wanted girl nails, maybe it is just a thing he finds pretty in the moment, time will tell.

As long as you yourself concentrate to think of your kid as human being and not only boy or girl, everything is fine, I guess. That is what I try to do.

It is not only us, who are an influence to them so they get a lot of male/female role-models, that bring them to find definitions to gender. And at some point in life, they have to make up their own mind and the best thing we could do, is make them strong and critical and show them, that whatever they decide doesn`t change our feelings for them.

P.S. When we were at an amusement park, I stayed with my little daughter 3 years old, because she was to young to join in some of the carrousels. She asked me, if we both stayed out, because we were girls. I explained her, that woman and girls can do everything that boys can, if they are old enough. ;-) I think she will rule the world someday.

Don't over think it, would be my advice. I have two girls and it has become increasingly evident to me just how much pressure there is on them to be certain ways simply because they are girls. To counter this, I've tried to mind what I say and do from day 1, to show them men and women are just people and choose to live their lives in the way they see fit not based on gender. The message has to be adjusted to their age, of course, but the older they get the deeper our conversation get.

I try not to dissuade them from being either girly or tomboys and instead try to let them decide who they are on their own. It's not easy, with all the "Girls/boys can't do this or that" going around.

Your child is very young. Simply having these conversations with him, means you open his world and let him know it's ok to be whoever he wants. Maybe he'll grow up to be classic male, maybe not. Probably he'll end up somewhere in the middle. With you in his life, my guess is whoever he turns out to be he'll be openminded to other people and their way of life. You teach him that.  

As above two said, I'll say the same. Don't over think and do something by over thinking. He is just four years old. Lot of boys would do the same thing. So let you take a relief sigh, I'll tell you something. My nephews do the same thing too. But we don't have to explain them about gender and all at this age. They'll eventually find out, if not more than necessary. Just let them enjoy their childhood and enjoy their innocence...

Goblin boy is 17 months, and already, he's such a BOY. Given free choice of all the toys here, at his childminders (both of them), at every play group we go to, he always wants the same thing: the tractor. If he can't get one, he wants a fire engine, or a truck. We've never pushed him to anything.

Having just started to learn to walk he wants to stand in every puddle, tramp in the mud, everything. None of his female friends do this.

He'll be who he is, and nothing we  do (invite him to like horses and computers, because that's what we do) will change who he's going to end up being. If he wants to be a ballet dancer, then that's fine too. Hopefully he'll teach me everything he knows about ballet.

Don't overthink your little person. Just let him be a person.

Both my sons had their little nails painted around that age, the older one is almost 6 now, he's built like a viking, all muscle, but he's very sweet and so much like me. He's a momma's boy, when you want. He likes to try on his sisters dresses and has a pink drinking bottle. It was mine, I think it's more important for him than the color. Little son is almost 2, he's a wild boy, just like Sasha's Goblin. The plays with the older boys in the daycare by choice, but had glittery nail polish, because he thinks it's pretty and he wants to be pretty. He has long wavy blond hair and is often mistaken for a little girl. I can only say what the others said already: your son is young, he'll figure it out in time. Don't let society pressure him in either way, y'all will be fine.

I wouldn't sweat it let him be who is regardless. Treat him as a unique person. If you're okay with it he will be too.

I suspect he said 'girl nails' because most of the pretty nails he's seen belong to girls. If you say 'no yours are boy nails' he may see it as a word game in which you say 'boy nails' and he replies 'girl nails' . I shouldn't make an issue of it.

Society has evolved strange and often irritating customs about how males and females ought to behave.

When I was a little boy I played with girls more than boys, and was very frustrated that I was never allowed to play in the Wendy House. I still feel a little resentment about that.

Thanks for all you thoughts peeps! I try not to overthink things so much!

Puppilull "Classic Male" I really like that!