I see you, Thorn, and I, for one, think you're a good, decent, and kind person who is both talented and thoughtful. That's my two cents, for what it's worth.  

"What if they're right? What if I'm the asshole here?"

Huh?! What?!

"Because whatever I do it's wrong."

WTF?! No way!

"And so I start to wonder, is everyone else lying?"

Maybe not everyone. But, that doesn't mean everyone gets you.

"Is my brain lying to me again?"

I'm thinking, there's nothing wrong with your stupid brain (chuckles)... Elsewise??? Who the hell knows? We all convince ourselves of our own personal truths! Who in the hell has a right to judge when we're all doing the same thing? Even though these truths we tell ourselves do have limits based on reality this post doesn't seem to be what we are dealing with here.

"I'm not responsible for other people's feelings."

Exactamundo... within reason. You can't deliberately fuck people up without expecting recourse. Point in your favor: this is not what you do!

"But I am responsible for my actions."

Admirably said. Also, experience dictates that despite your personal ups and downs you are one of the most even keeled people on GA.

I don't think I need add anything else.

Thanks, @Ron and @Headstall. I get these insecurities a lot, especially when I find myself in difficult social situations. Even when they're over, I can walk around feeling it for weeks. Anxiety sucks. It's good to feel like I have friends, so thank you.  

5 hours ago, Ron said:

We all convince ourselves of our own personal truths! Who in the hell has a right to judge when we're all doing the same thing? Even though these truths we tell ourselves do have limits based on reality this post doesn't seem to be what we are dealing with here.

I think you're right here, about truth. I always say, truth and fact is not the same thing. Truth is subjective. We make our own truths. Sometimes they're truths about ourselves, destructive ones. Hopefully, those truths can be unlearned. I know I'm trying.

[Putting on my pretending-to-be-a-therapist hat.]

This sounds like your depression speaking.

[And if my pretending-to-be-a-therapist self were talking to me, there’d be references to my cognitive dissonance too.]

[I think it’s fitting that my pretend self is diagnosing myself.]

[Maybe you should ignore my non-sensical ramblings.]

[Especially because they’re enclosed by pretentious bracketing.]
 

;–)

3 hours ago, droughtquake said:

[Putting on my pretending-to-be-a-therapist hat.]

This sounds like your depression speaking.

[And if my pretending-to-be-a-therapist self were talking to me, there’d be references to my cognitive dissonance too.]

[I think it’s fitting that my pretend self is diagnosing myself.]

[Maybe you should ignore my non-sensical ramblings.]

[Especially because they’re enclosed by pretentious bracketing.]
 

;–)

Depression is probably also involved, though I have these thoughts and feelings when I'm not depressed as well. Of course, even if I'm not depressed I usually still have anxiety, lol

24 minutes ago, Thorn Wilde said:

Depression is probably also involved, though I have these thoughts and feelings when I'm not depressed as well. Of course, even if I'm not depressed I usually still have anxiety, lol

I laugh because I have been diagnosed with both also!
;–)

4 hours ago, droughtquake said:

I laugh because I have been diagnosed with both also!
;–)

The heart is for solidarity, my friend.